My back hurt.

Diana intentionally burnt my breakfast.

McKnight drank my beer.

I didn't get to shoot the night away.

And I didn't sleep because McKnight was snoring down the hall, so Sanderson and I moved out to the garage and slept in the jeep.

Extra cargo room my ass.

While I ate my burnt waffles to prove she hadn't won, which she really did because they were nasty, and not just because they were all natural, and both butter and margarine had been outlawed. But I forced the whole-wheat bricks down with a smile. While Sanderson wrote a nasty letter to the makers of Jeep, voicing our outrage about the alleged trunk space they always talk about on their commercials.

To top my morning off I had to drink decaf with skim milk.

No sugar.

Sugar was also outlawed until Mr. Peace Love and Understandings cholesterol went down under four hundred.

When Sanderson and I headed out to go to the Shrink that we were all supposed to see since we started a small melee, we got to watch the neighbors butt-crack while he worked in his garden. The most action I had seen all damn day. Not to mention I had to take a shower alone. It was the first time in four years I cut myself shaving.

The day did not look good.

Also the fact that Sanderson was locked out of his house, Humera was at a lady doctor with Lily and Jamie. So he had to wear a pair of my jeans , which he had to have a belt since they bagged a little, and a t-shirt. The man wore his own damn shoes.

We arrived a little late since we stopped for beer.

So while we waited with Lambross in the waiting room while Fowler went into see the Shrink first. I was nursing my second beer when Fowler came out. Smiling like the dickhead he was.

The older gentleman shrink, a red headed man with glasses in a navy suit. He looked between the three of us, "Who is next?"

Lambross was seated reading a Cosmo, "I'll go after one of you, I'm not done reading."

I looked to Sanderson who absolutely hated shrinks.

So I got up, "Aight Doc, lets get this bitch over with." To say the Doc was mildly surprised was an overstatement. He held the door to his office open. I took a sip of my beer and walked in.

With a quick look at my beer he closed the door.

There was a desk, a couch with a chair next to it, and books on the wall.

I took a seat in the chair and put my feet on the couch. Then looked at him and dared him to move me.

Again the Doc was silent, he took a seat on the end of the couch.

In his hand was a manila folder and a clipboard. Probably my army file. Without opening it he asked, "I don't allow drinking in my office." He then reached out.

I finished my beer and gave him the empty bottle.

Didn't wanna waste it.

He took the bottle and put it on the floor by his feet, then asked, "Norm? Or do you prefer Hoot?"

"I don't care," really I didn't, he could call me whatever the hell he wanted.

The Doc opened my file and then looked at me, "Hoot? That is a very interesting nickname."

When I didn't volunteer any information, he then told me, "This isn't the first time you have been in trouble for fighting with Sergeant Fowler. Do you harbor any animosity toward him?"

What the hell?

Already the man was annoying me.

So I crossed my arms and leaned back in the chair, "No. We're lovers."

He did a double take, then laughed, when I didn't laugh he stopped. He cleared his throat, then asked, "How long have you been in the military?"

"You got my file."

Ok, so I was being a little bit difficult, but I was gonna make him earn his paycheck.

He closed my file, annoyed.

So I clarified things for him, "Look Doc, I am in no mood for any mind games. Aight? I got like three hour's sleep in the back of'a jeep last night. My damn woman burnt my breakfast. Her father drank my beer. I didn't getta go shootin last night. This ain't the day to play with me."

Doc looked at me, then asked, "Why did you attack Sergeant Fowler?"

Finally, a question I would answer, "We were baitin each other. He shoved me so I hit him. It just elevated from there."

"What were you two arguing over?"

"My woman," I muttered.

The Doc was confused, "Who are you seeing?"

"You writtin a book?" I asked.

He pursed his lips, then flipped through my file, when he didn't find what he was looking for he closed it. "How long have you been seeing your girlfriend?"

I had to think, "Bout four or five years. I ain't kept track."

That actually surprised the Doc, who asked, "Has it been a monogamous relationship?"

What the fuck kinda question was that? Oh he was gonna have a damn field day with Lambross. "Yeah. She's the only woman I've slept with in that time."

He nodded, why, I didn't know.

Then the Doc asked, "Is she in the Army?"

I shook my head.

"Have you ever hit your girlfriend?"

"No," I told him firmly. So firmly he didn't question that answer. So he asked, "Are you planning on marriage?"

"In a few days."

Doc looked surprised, "Oh?"

"Your not invited," I told him.

The Doc wasn't thrilled with my remark, he then asked, "Are you looking forward to marriage?"

"Yeah, I am. Is that all Doc?"

"No. I want to talk about your father."

I narrowed my eyes, first I wanted to know how the hell he knew about that, "What do you know about my father?"

Doc opened my file, he flipped through, then said, "About two months ago a alert was posted up at the gates to forbid him in base, and his number was blocked from your phone."

What?

Then it hit me, so that's what McKnight did, no wonder I hadn't gotten any calls from him. I'd have to buy McKnight a cheeseburger.

"So what. It's a free country," was my answer.

Doc then said, "It's a little extreme."

I shrugged in response.

"Don't you want a relationship with your father?" Was his next million-dollar question.

I didn't even have to think about my answer, "Hell no."

He leaned back against the couch and crossed his legs, "Do you want children?"

"Yes."

He then asked me, "Do you want a relationship with your children?"

All right, I could see where this was going, so I leaned forward and put my feet on the ground, "Yeah, but I ain't gonna abandon my children or my wife. I'll die fore I leave any of them."

"Do you know why he left?"

I shook my head, "Naw, but you didn't ask if I cared, an I don't." I couldn't tell if he was surprised or disgusted, and I didn't care, "you done yet, Doc?"

With a glance at his clipboard, "Yes."

Great, I stood up and asked, "Will ya sign off so I can qualify?"

The Doc nodded, "Yes."