The sound of tree branches brushing against the glass of the window frightened me ever so slightly, causing me to raise my head a little. I relaxed it back onto the pillow, realizing that it was simply what happened when a tree was near a window. Suddenly an unpleasant substance was making its way down my nose and begged to be removed. In an attempt to sniff it back, I accidentally let out a loud sob.
Raoul's eyes slowly opened, as my sobbing must have woken him. Seeing his beautiful eyes once more, being woken from utter peace, devastated me. I felt so weak, so violated, and so unfaithful. While he dreamed of peace, I had escaped from his arms and betrayed him by allowing the Phantom's- Erik's- hands to violate the little innocence I had left; the innocence I held so dear. I began to sob once more.
"Whoa, whoa," he whispered, trying to cease my tears. "Was it another nightmare?"
I didn't answer. I wished it were a nightmare; to be honest a nightmare would have been more pleasant. I simply continued to sob at his comforting gaze, which I could not return for shame. My gaze fell as he softly "shhhed" me and wiped away my falling tears with the tip of his thumb. Finally I met his gaze with a desperate glare.
"Hold me."
He pulled me into his arms and held me close to his chest as he kissed the top of my head.
"It'll be alright," he said, running his hand gently down my neck. I wished it were true. I wished I hadn't betrayed him. I wished I had never left the flat. I wished that Erik didn't have so much power over me… but he did. And there was nothing I could do.
The next morning was a pleasant one. It was Sunday, and Madame Giry insisted that we all attend church as usual. Of course, her and her daughter had no clothes other than those they wore, so I offered to lend them each a dress. Meg gladly accepted the offer while Madame Giry decided that there would be worse looking people there than her and so she did not mind wearing the same dress for two days.
I had to laugh at the sight of Meg. Wearing a dark red, sleeveless dress that I had chosen for the entrancing color, she appeared smaller than usual. The dress was awkward on her, being tight around the bust but loose around the waist; it made me suddenly feel very self-conscious.
Raoul was a delight in his Sunday best: his usual white cravat, formal shirt, and vest, with a navy blue long jacket and cream-colored slacks that were complimented by his black boots. He tied his hair back in a crisp black ribbon. Gladly, he took my hand that wasn't preoccupied by carrying a Bible. We had to wait a little bit as Meg ran my brush through her golden locks just a few more times and then we were off.
On the way there, we discussed small things, to drive our minds away from the events of the last few days.
"Raoul, why do you live in such a small flat when your parents live in a mansion?" Meg inquired. Madame Giry promptly slapped her daughter's wrist and let out an aggravated "Meg!"
My fiancé just laughed.
"I actually haven't been there long. About a year ago, when I turned eighteen, my parents decided that it would be useful for me to become fully independent. They gave me a certain sum of money and I chose to start small and invest in important things rather than blowing it all on an empty mansion," he answered.
"Of course, I also brought a few of my things from my parents' mansion to my flat," he continued. Playfully, I cut him off.
"Like that lovely chaise that now all of us but you have slept in?" I laughed. Meg smiled at me with a bright eye. Such light-hearted moments had become rare in the previous days. Even Madame Giry cracked her stern frown to smile.
"No, actually. That I bought from an auction in Lourdes when my family was visiting relatives there. I was thinking more like books, some cutlery, my bedding, and my mother's engagement ring."
His voice dropped with the mention of that last item. I cursed myself for giving it to Erik; a gesture that I had hoped would comfort him enough not to take his own life. I glanced down at my bare left hand with a sigh.
"Perhaps one day we can go shopping for another?" I encouraged. He smiled and let out a deep sigh as we entered the church… the church that was held inside Notre Dame cathedral.
I've always loved the solemn chants and dark melodies that the choir sang. I've always longed to be a part of the choir; but the opera house was, in a way, a better fate. It was hard not to try to outshine the congregation with its beggars and aristocrats, all with awkward and poor voices. But as we sang "Ave Maria", it didn't matter how well or how poor one sang; the whole of the congregation singing at one time made a beautiful sound.
As hard as I tried to enjoy it, and be in the presence of the Almighty, I simply couldn't. My mind was lost somewhere around last night, when I was in this very chapel and faced my childhood ghost one more time. I was entranced by the statue of Mary that stood at the front of the chapel, just in front of a similar statue of her Son. Her Son hung from a crude wooden cross, and still she looked so peaceful.
For a moment, I pondered on Erik's words.
"Even she had her most sacred son with an angel," I could hear him echo through my mind. I prayed desperately, silently to God that he had not taken advantage of me while I was in his lair for the first time. I did not want to bear his child; it would shatter Raoul. But still I wondered… did he mean what he said literally? Perhaps he meant that, to my blame as well- for it takes two to produce a child- the darkness that he birthed into our lives would be the proof of our tragic story. It was very possible, but still I prayed relentlessly that I would not bear his child.
I squeezed Raoul's hand gently and both of us smiled. Perhaps Erik finally understood how much I loved Raoul. Perhaps he finally understood that his face was just as much a mask as the leather he wore over it. It was a mask to hide his soul from his mind… and perhaps he understood how to make peace with himself. Perhaps the nightmare was over, at last.
In Raoul's carriage on the way home, life was kind again. Meg and Raoul made jokes while Madame Giry and I laughed; we decided what we should make for lunch while Meg insisted on a dessert this time; and Raoul held me close under his arm. Suddenly he rose up and leaned toward the small window at the front of the carriage and opened it.
"Driver, I do not think we will go home right away. If you could, please stop by the plaza so that we may buy our friends some clothes," he called out to the man holding the horses' long, slender reins.
"Of course, Monsieur," the driver replied. Raoul leaned back into his seat comfortably and nonchalantly while Madame Giry and Meg, along with myself, glared at Raoul with the wide eyes of wonder.
"Vicomte, you do not have to spend your fortune on us," Madame Giry encouraged. It was not in her nature to take such generous offers well. Raoul simply grinned and let out a soft chuckle.
"Oh, Raoul, thank you so much!" cried Meg. She threw herself on him and wrapped her arms around him with an enormously bright smile on her face. I laughed as he did, while Meg ashamedly peeled herself off of him. Madame Giry was also smiling ever so slightly, with a raised brow. It was good to be able to laugh again.
We finally reached the plaza, and Meg excitedly leapt out of the carriage, dancing around in wonder as to which store she should ravage first. As Raoul descended from the carriage, he explained his plans for the afternoon.
"Madame Giry, Meg, feel free to go into as many stores as you like and pick out the dresses that catch your fancy," he said. "Christine and I will meet you at this corner at two o' clock."
"Where are you going?" Meg asked, a deep look of curiosity in her eyes. To this, Raoul simply grinned, and it caused me to be even more curious.
"We shall see you at two. You can then take me to whichever store holds the dresses that you desire and I will pay for them then," he explained coyly. He raised his hand as a good-bye gesture to the excited pair, and then gently rested it on the small of my back as he whispered.
"I believe you're needing a ring," he breathed, voice slow, sultry, and playful. I grinned as wide as I could and leapt onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He held me off my feet as he lightly laid a kiss on my lips. At the moment, I didn't care if people could see us, I was simply too overjoyed to.
Now, we were back in the carriage on the way home. Meg was almost drowning in the bright, colorful dresses that she had bought, while Madame Giry sat comfortably with just a few darker dresses on her lap. Meg couldn't seem to thank Raoul enough; fashion was apparently a very high priority in her books. Besides, she couldn't wait to get out of the dress I had lent her; the tight bust was really getting to be a pain.
Suddenly the carriage came to a stop in front of Raoul's flat. While looking out the window that faced his flat, opposite of the carriage door, he slapped his hand on mine when I tried to open the door. I sent him a confused glare, and Meg and Madame Giry both raised their eyebrows.
"Raoul, what's wrong?" I asked. Something wasn't right for Raoul to feel he couldn't let me out of the carriage just yet.
"Christine, stay in the carriage. You as well, Meg and Madame Giry."
We all shot him fearfully confused looks as he slowly stepped out of the carriage. I hurriedly shuffled towards the window he'd been looking out of, and Meg was almost instantly beside me. What I saw was horrifying.
Raoul was now walking up the steps to his flat, where, on the landing, there was a man clawing at the door. The man was writhing on the ground, dressed in dirty, black formal clothes. A large bottle of whiskey lay abandoned in the corner of the doorway as Raoul carefully approached the man. I strained to see the man's face.
"Who is that?" Meg quietly asked.
"I don't know…"
Not too brilliant of an answer, but it was all I could say. That is, until I saw a small portion of the right side of the man's face… Oh God.
"Oh God…" I repeated my thoughts.
"Christine, who is it?" Meg asked again.
Through the glass of the window, I saw Raoul glance back at the carriage, and suddenly I knew. I knew that he knew it was he… the Phantom… Erik. Thankfully, in his drunkenness, Erik was delusional and completely ignored Raoul's presence. Raoul fled back to the carriage and ordered the driver to go to the Seine River. I tried to get out of the carriage to try to understand Erik's condition, but Raoul forced me back into my seat, shutting the door. The carriage was in motion before I had another chance to get out..
"Christine, why is he here? Why is he following us? How does he know where my flat is?" his voice shouted, raising itself higher and higher with every question. Meg and her mother simply sat silent, eyes bewildered at what they were witnessing.
"Answer me!" he cried out, grabbing hold of my shoulders and shaking me slightly. As I met his wild gaze, I realized that he was not angry but incredibly fearful. Tears sprung themselves from their birthplace in his eyes while fresh ones were being born in my own.
"I don't… know," I lied. Out of his misery from the previous night, Erik had made the mistake of wandering out into the public and getting drunk. They say that when one is drunk, you act on your uttermost feelings, and Erik felt that he wanted to come to me. He already knew that I was living with Raoul; proof of that was the note that he left me. I don't know exactly how he knew, but my guess would be that he assumed. He was a very intelligent man, after all.
Raoul, after trying his hardest to read my expression, lowered his voice to a calm desperation.
"Christine… what… happened?" he spoke through catching his breath. I glanced inquisitively over at Madame Giry who nodded slightly, encouraging me to tell him. And I did.
I told him the whole story about the note, and how I had snuck away in the night, and how I knew that Erik's heart was now broken beyond repair. And I told him how it was all my fault.
Meg's eyes were illuminated with wonder as she listened to my confession. Finally I finished with a broken sob.
"And now, he's here," I explained, my voice becoming high-pitched and nasal from my tight throat and runny nose. Raoul breathed a forgiving "oh…" as he leaned in and hugged me tight to him, for what seemed an eternity. I just wanted to stay there in his arms, to know that he forgave me.
If I had stayed there for an eternity, I wouldn't have minded.