Harry Potter and the Cliches of Doom
Mary Sue McAllister sat daintily in the Gryffindor common room, her wide, beautiful blue eyes taking in her surroundings. She did hope that she would fit in well here at Hogwarts, but she assumed it wasn't every day that transfer students from America enrolled because their parents had been killed by You-Know-Who. She sighed and clutched her bag. A few seconds later, two boys and a girl walked into the common room, looking very happy.
"Oh!" The girl said, stopping short. "And who are you?" Mary Sue stood up.
"I'm Mary Sue McAllister! I just transfered here from the United States, and I got sorted into Gryffindor. Who are you guys?" Ron stopped dead in his tracks. Who was this beautiful girl? He looked from her to Hermione, and decided that Mary Sue wasthoroughly more beautiful, and that he'd probably get a lot more arsefrom her than Hermione.
"I'm Ron Weasley!" He said, bounding forward to shake her hand vigorously. But at the touch, Ron was struck by a spark of lightening that jumped from Mary Sue's hand to his. "Agh! What the bloody hell was that?" Mary Sue blushed. Oops...and she was hoping she wouldn't have to tell anyone about the powers that had been transferred from her to Voldemort in her daring act to save her parents!
"I'm Harry Potter," Harry said, feeling a little depressed. He'd been hard-pressed to come up with a good excuse as to why he'd called Draco by his first name, so instead of thinking something up he'd dragged them all (sans Draco) to the Three Broomsticks for some illegal Firewhiskey. When that didn't work out, and Ron had dragged Hermione off to some remote corner of Hogsmeade tosnog, Harry had taken to stalking Draco in his invisibility cloak. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone.
"And I'm Hermione Granger," Hermione said bitterly. Oh, she'd seen the way Ron had been looking at her--and she didn't like it. Ron was really very sexually incompetent, so thank Merlin she was secretly shagging Ginny--she was such a little minx!
Mary Sue, on the other hand, grinned happily and bounced a little. New friends were so exciting!
Draco saw that new girl--what was her name?--Mary Sue, sitting at the Gryffindor table and shook his head. He'd just gotten an owl from his father telling him about her, and how she'd tried to rescue her parents from the Dark Lord. Draco rolled his eyes. Just what Hogwarts needed--another hero. Not that he minded their current one too much, that is. Yes, ever since he'd made eye contact with Harry at Hogsmeade, he'd fallen hopelessly in love with the Gryffindor Seeker. Not that he'd admit it to anyone. But Draco did know that he needed to see him again, and fast. At least he'd already done the forward-thinking thing sent an owl to Harry, telling him to meet him outside of the prefect's bathroom late that evening.
Hermione led Mary Sue into the Potions dungeon, forcing the girl to sit as close to the Slytherins as possible. Hermione, on the other hand, rushed up to the front so that she could get a better view of Professor Snape, who had mysteriously become quite attractive and certainly not as mean as he used to be. Professor Snape turned around and inspected the new student, immediately glad for the robes that covered the growing tightness in his trousers.
"And you are...?" He asked the stunningly breathtaking blonde.
"Mary Sue McAllister!" Mary Sue said happily, beaming up at the professor. Draco scowled. Well, this was going to be a fun Potions class.
After Potions had finished and Professor Snape had spent ten minutes trying to come up with an excuse to give Mary Sue detention (which he did, eventually, when she knocked over her cauldron--"No points from Gryffindor, but detention for you young lady!"), Ron ran to catch up with the beautiful blonde girl.
"Snape's a right git, isn't he?" Mary Sue twirled a blonde curl around her fingers.
"Oh, I don't think so...I think he's quite nice, actually!"
"Yeah!" Ron said, completely changing his opinion of Snape, "That's what I think, too! Hey, look, it's a broom closet!" Mary Sue stopped in front of the broom closet. Wow, a broom closet! They didn't have any of those in the States! She opened the door and peeked inside. It was convienently empty. After a few seconds' debate with himself, Ron pushed Mary Sue inside and locked the door behind him.
"What was that for?"
"I saw--I saw a teacher coming!" He whispered. Mary Sue giggled. She turned to face Ron and, finding his eyes in the darkness, leaned in to kiss him.
Draco paced back and forth outside of the prefects' bath, wondering if that git Harry was going to show up at all. Just then, Harry appeared from under his invisibility cloak, looking flushed and thoroughly delicious.
"Harry!" Draco squealed, and then stopped himself, because He. Was. Not. Gay. "I mean, Potter." Harry pressed his lips together and leaned heavily against the wall.
"If you've come here to shag me, Draco, there's something I have to tell you," Harry began. "During the summers I live with my relatives, the Durselys. They're right horrible, but their son especially so...and every day he'd threaten to do me me up the bum, and then this summer he actually did it! So that's why--" Draco was shocked.
"You mean...you've been abused, too?" Harry looked up through teary eyes.
"Wha--?"
"My father, that bastard! Every night he beat me, and now I hate him, and I'll never join the Death Eaters! Never!" Draco rushed forward and pulled Harry into a tight hug.
Harry was bewildered.
"I--I--I don't know what to say, Draco," Draco nearly melted into Harry's arms at the mention of his first name coming from such perfect lips, but he pulled himself together and said the password for the baths. He pulled Harry inside and turned on all of the taps. Harry pushed his glasses up his nose, leaningforward to kiss Draco. Draco welcomed the kiss, and as they kissed Draco pulled off Harry's glasses and tossed them to the side, hoping they wouldn't break because as of now, his brain was focused on the kissing and he wouldn't have been able to remember a repairing spell if his life depended on it. Harry's fingers flew to undo the buttons ofDraco's shirt, and he smiled. Finally, someone that understood him.