A Bird's Reality
A/N: To warn ya'll this is a sad chapter that I wrote while listening to this slow R&B song, so don't get mad at what happens.
Chapter 10: Emotion's backfire
It was 5:30 in the morning while the dark goddess laid there in her bed waiting for the day to start. Her mind was confused and stressing her out, she knew she needed rest but she promised Speedy to go to the park. "I could have sworn…or maybe I was wrong." "Were you?" "What do you want?" "Raven. I want to help you over come your fear." "What fear do you think I have?" "I know you fear rejection and me…love." "I don't fear you or rejection. On the contrary I don't give a damn what people think about me." "Raven, don't do this to yourself, you don't deserve it. Remember fear itself? " "Yes I do, and if I don't express myself the feeling will find another way out." "Exactly." "I don't care about that right now." "But this may be your only chance to have me, to have love." "I don't have time for love." "You don't have time for love or you just don't want time for love!" "Look. It's really hard for me as it is." "Maybe not hard enough." "Why do you care so much anyway?" "Because you crave this emotion Raven and if you don't get it you'll reject it for the rest of your life!" "It's not like I'll have a long life." "Don't say that! That's not true!" "Oh yes it is! I know it, you know it, and even my friends know it…of my destiny." "They're gonna help you change it!" "They can help all they want, but nothing will change it, nothing." "Raven, you at least have to try." "Why gain his heart now when it's gonna be broken later by my curse." "Raven…please…" "Leave me Love...I'm begging you…please." "Whatever you say Raven. But I want you to know that no matter how much you deny It, you're still in love with him, whether you like it or not." Love now left Raven alone with her thoughts as a tear streamed down her cheek from pity.
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It's been three hours now since she fallen asleep again and she could hear the others having breakfast. "Must they be so loud in the morning?" she thought to herself as she got up to get dress. After she was finish brushing her teeth and washing her face she headed straight to the kitchen to have her herbal tea. "Good morning Raven!" she heard Starfire yell as she passed her up, "Hey Raven, we were wondering when you were gonna wake up and join us." she looked over to Robin, who's comment surprised her, he was even smiling. "He must've forgotten all about last night. That's good I guess." "I had a lot to think about last night so I didn't get a lot of sleep." Raven said while sitting down on one of the dining chairs. Robin looked over to where the girl sat and sensed something was wrong. "Raven? Are you okay?" he asked as he sat beside her, "Yeah…I'm fine. Just stuff dealing with my father that's all." "We're gonna help you Raven. We will find a way to change the destiny you must fulfill." She looked at him again, but instead of the smile she seen earlier it was a serious and concerned face. "Robin I really appreciate what all of you are trying to do but…" "But nothing Raven. This can be prevented, almost everything can." "Not this." "You're saying that because you're scared Raven and don't deny it. Raven, me and you are closer than anyone on this team." "Raven!" was all they heard from Beastboy, "What!" "Speedy's here for you!" She couldn't believe it was that time already, but hey he did say morning. "Tell him I'm coming! Robin thanks a lot, but I have to go now." he heard her say as she walked away from him heading out the door.
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It was 10:30 when the two titans got to the park. Raven saw Speedy pull out something from the trunk of his car, "What's that?" "Huh…uh…nothing." "Oh yes it is." "Oh no it's not." Raven started to run after Speedy who was running away laughing. For some reason she couldn't catch him so she decided to fly and get him. As she approached the warrior she noticed he was hiding some kind of basket behind his back. "Azrath metrion zinthos." she said letting out some of her dark force to retrieve the basket. "Wait that's not fair!" Speedy said as he ran after her, "It's supposed to be a surprise!" Not paying attention to what Speedy said she opened the basket to find food within it. "I told you it was a surprise. I thought it would be nice if we had a picnic too after our walk you know." "He's trying so hard. He shouldn't have to." "Um…that would be nice Speedy, it really would." She saw the smile that came across his face, "Great! So you wanna go walk or do something now for the time being?" "Yeah, I guess." They now started their walk on the trail looking at all the beauty that surrounded them. To their surprise there wasn't anyone in the park that morning, they probably saw an old couple jogging, but that was it. As they passed the next tree they realized it was an apple tree, "Care for a snack Raven?" "Sure." she said as she floated upwards toward the tree grabbing two apples. They started their walk once again. Speedy looked over to Raven and noticed something about her that made her unique in a kind of way he couldn't explain. When they came to the pond Raven, yes Raven, suggested they should feed the ducks. Speedy was surprised, but he happily agreed to. After they ran out of the five slices of bread they brought, (probably got it from the picnic basket), they laid in the grass for awhile. "So…you ever come to this park much?" Speedy asked her, "Yeah. Some times actually." "I bet you have a hell of a time here." "If you wanna call it that. I only come here with the team, I don't come here regularly." "That's a shame." "Well I might change my mind. Seeing how it's so quiet and peaceful in the morning I might start walking in the morning to clear my thoughts." "That would be good, just call if you want a partner, that's if my telephone can wake me up." he said while chuckling. Silence now came between them so they both decided to break it, "Hungry yet?" they both said while looking at each other laughing.
They found a place where they could set the picnic and lay the blanket out. "Okay Raven there's four sandwiches, two ham and cheese, and two peanut butter and jelly." They took one of both, "There's apple juice or milk…" Raven took apple juice while Speedy took milk, "There's grapes and strawberries, and for a breakfast desert two slices of chocolate cake." "This is very nice of you Speedy." "Thanks!" As they ate they didn't say a word to each other, a joke would come out every once in a while from Speedy that made her smile. They were ready for the cake now; even though they left some of the fruit uneaten it was time for something sweet. "This time Speedy, I would like some milk to go with that chocolate cake." "Coming right up!" Speedy wasn't a bad guy she thought to herself, "I mean he's nice, he puts others before him, he's romantic, but he's just no…" "Raven your milk." "Thanks Speedy." As they ate their cake Speedy spoke up, "Raven, can I ask you something?" "Of course." "What's up with Robin?" She couldn't believe another person, especially Speedy, was bringing him up. They both turned around when they heard an apple from a tree burst. "What do you mean what's up with him?" "Well, he's been acting a little strange around me." "Strange?" "Yeah. I mean first minute were friends then he acts like I'm Slade or something." "As in?" "Oh come on Raven. Ever since I have been giving you gifts and everything wonder boy here gets pissed off!" "Maybe he's going through something." "If I had to guess, it probably was something dealing with you." "Me! Why me!" "It's just a guess." "But he has Starfire you know that, so you gotta be wrong." "Am I? I mean you're like his best friend!" "So! That doesn't prove anything!" "Yes it does. I know how it feels to be around Starfire for a few minutes, try 24/7 for Robin." "That's because she's his girlfriend." "Look…in his mind he enjoys having Starfire around, he'll admit that, but what he won't admit is that he rather be with you." "How would you know this?" "Face it Raven, he sees the beauty in Star, but she's no Raven." Raven couldn't believe what she was hearing, did Speedy want Raven to have Robin more than ever. "I can see it in your eyes that this comforts you a lot." "I'm just shocked." "Really?" "Yeah. You kind of…did me a favor." "Well if I did, do me one." She looked at Speedy now and she could tell he was serious, "What is it?" "Just tell him you love him."
As they approached the door to the tower Raven turned around to give Speedy a hug. "Thanks for all your help." "Hey, that's what friends are for. Here to help the sick, poor, etc." As she let go of him she saw a smile of approval upon his face, "Just do it Raven, it's gonna be okay." was the last thing he said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek and went his own way. Raven still couldn't believe what happened and was still wondering if the words Speedy said about Robin were true.
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The rest of the afternoon was boring as usual. Cyborg was building some new high tech speakers for the tower and trying to make a remote that would control every electronic thing in the house, except him of course. BB was watching one of his movies that he rented from the video place. He had three horror movies, five comedy movies, and one action movie. The movie he was watching was a comedy, "Dumb and Dumber". Starfire was in the kitchen making some of her pudding of happiness that she would give Robin, since he's been stressed out lately. Robin was on the computer trying to locate Slade as usual, "Where can he be?" he asked himself. Raven was sitting on one of the chairs reading the book Cyborg bought for her that night of the TT anniversary. "Robin, will you come here for a second please." "Coming Star." "Robin you have been stressed lately so I made you the pudding of happiness!" "That's very nice of you Star, but…I don't want to spoil my appetite for tonight at the club." "Oh yes! I have forgotten!"
Robin went back to what he was doing, but finally decided to quit since he knew he wasn't gonna find anything right now. "Any of you want to train?" No one answered, "They probably didn't hear me." "Anyone wants to train with me?" he asked again a little louder. After he noticed he was being ignored he left to the training room. He started up his training and was concentrated on what he was doing for the past 15 minutes. "I can't believe no one wanted to train with me! They need it more than I do!" "Something's wrong?" He turned around to find Raven standing in the doorway. "No, not at all." "I'll believe you this time." "What are you doing here anyway?" "You asked if anyone wanted to train with you, so here I am." "Yeah, but that was 16 minutes ago." "Well if you don't want me here I can leave." "You don't have to, but why so late." "Had to think about it." "Oh." "Let's get started boy wonder." "One, two, three…" Robin counted as they launched at each other.
Robin threw punches at Raven with her dodging every last one of them. Raven started to throw kicks at him and he dodged every last one also. "Good Raven." "But not good enough Robin." she said as she threw him a punch in the jaw. "That wasn't fair!" "Lesson one, remember your mission, defeat the enemy." Robin then did a spinning kick on the ground which hit Raven's ankles causing her to fall. "Lesson two Raven, don't give the enemy lessons." All of a sudden she got up and flew towards Robin who took out his bo-staff. As he was trying to hit her she blocked and backed away. "Let's just see how good you are with that stick shall we. Azrath metrion zinthos!" Raven started to throw objects Robin's way, he dodge a couple and used his staff to break the rest until an arm of a chair popped him on his head. "Let's see how good your darkness is." Robin took out three disks and threw one of them on the front of Raven's body and the other two on her back. Raven try to hurry and get them off, she got the one on her stomach and finally the two on her back. "Too bad Robin." She suddenly heard a clicking behind her and saw Robin had a grin on his face, and then the fourth disk exploded on her back. Raven fell to the ground and slowly got up and looked at Robin who was laughing. They started to fight hand to hand again. Meanwhile in the living room. "Has anyone seen Robin or Raven?" Star asked the only person who was in the living room, BB. "Uh…Raven might be in her room and I don't know where Robin could be, maybe working out or something. Back in the training room. The two friends flew back from one another because of both encountering a powerful hit. They both got up slowly and noticed the other was tired. "Give it up Raven…you could never beat me." "That's all in your head… bird boy." "Oh really?" "Yeah. You always have to be the best and win." "Are you trying to say that's…all I care about?" "Most of the time…yeah." "Well you're wrong." "Then tell me what else is there…to care about?" "I care about you…and the rest of the team." "Was last night caring about…me?" "What are you talking about?" "You let me walk away stupid!" "That was your fault, not mine!" "What was I supposed to do…take another one of Star's…non-trusting talks?" "No! I didn't say…that!" "You know if I stayed…she would have asked questions…you would've lied to." "What questions would I have to…lie to?" "Don't worry about it, just fight!" Raven flew at Robin who dodges the punch thrown at him and then grabbed both her wrist turning her towards him. "What questions Raven?" "Nothing, it was just a thought." "Questions about feelings?" She looked at him now and jerked her wrists free. "I believe training is done for today." she said as she walked out the room.
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It was 8:32pm and the team had to get ready for the club. Cyborg didn't have a lot to do, he brushed his teeth and sprayed breath spray into his mouth, "That should do it." he said as he headed for the living room. BB was in his room changing from his team uniform to some casual clothing. He put on a red T shirt that said "Wild Thing!" in black letters. He also threw on a pair of navy blue jeans and a black leather jacket. "Watch out ladies, I won't bite, unless you want me too." Robin threw on a green shirt and some black jeans. He also wore a black jean jacket, "Tonight has to be the night I tell Star. I can't take it anymore." Starfire was in her room trying to figure out what to wear; she had so many things to choose from. She made up her mind and decided to put on a pink tank top with the matching pants. She also put on the new earrings Robin bought her, and a little of candy pink lipstick. "Something's wrong with Robin and I have to find out what it is." Star said to herself as she headed to the living room. Raven was still in her room not really wanting to go to the club, but she said she would. She decided to wear a black strapless tank top and black jeans of course, and putting on the clear lip-gloss, amethyst earrings, and her new amethyst bracelet. "Well, here I go." she said as she went to go meet the others in the living room.
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The club was pack that night, (club name: Ice/Fire). Starfire pulled Robin out onto the dance floor and he decided to dance with her. BB saw these three girls leaning against one of the walls so he suggested he go introduce himself. The meanwhile Raven and Cyborg sat at the bar. "We'll have two sodas, coke and grape." Cyborg said to the bartender ordering Raven a coke and himself a grape soda. "So…been holding up lately?" he asked Raven, "Yeah, just things clouding my mind." "Mind if I help?" "That all depends on what help you're offering." "Here you are sir, a coke and grape soda." the bartender replied breaking their conversation, "Thanks."
Robin and Starfire were on the dance floor dancing like everyone else on the floor. Suddenly Starfire started to do a different dance that no one heard of. Noticing that some people was looking at her crazy she decided to stop and follow the crowd again along with Robin. The song suddenly turned into a slow song where Star put his hands around her waist and she put her arms around his neck. They swung side to side during the song and Starfire rested her head on his shoulder. He couldn't help the fact of dumping her because he was scared to see her cry and mad at him, which she never was before. As he looked up he spotted Raven looking at them from the bar, the problem was he locked eyes with her and just couldn't stop staring back at her gaze.
"You okay Raven?" Cyborg asked as he finished his soda, "Yeah, I'm alright." she said as she turned to leave Robin's eyes. "It's hard isn't it?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, when you want something so bad that you can't stand it. You can reach out to grab it if you wanted to, but stay behind as you watch it pass you by." Raven was getting nervous thinking Cyborg knew what was going through her head, but he didn't. The only thing he knew was how Robin felt. "Is such things like that so hard to do Cyborg?" "Of course they are. Take me for example, I like both Bee and Jinx, but can't decide which one I want." "Anyone else you know going through the same thing?" "Nope, just me, and I'll pay for it too." he lied. Next thing they knew Starfire and Robin came to join them at the bar. "I saw ya'll on the dance floor workin' it!" "Yes friend Cyborg! Me and Robin did the fast and slow dance!" "Well Star had to get back on track with the group." Not realizing he made her blush he started to laugh. BB met them at the bar too, "Hey guys!" "Sup BB, any luck." Cyborg asked him, "Don't need luck." "Didn't get one of them?" "No…I got all three!" "You lie!" "For real dude look, (pulls out a piece of paper), see that's Chi chi, that's Jasmine, and that's Tonya." "I take back all the bad stuff I said about you."
It was midnight now and it was almost time for the titans to go home. Raven stayed at the bar the whole night blowing of idiotic guys that tried to hit on her. "Mind if I sit here?" "No, not at all." she knew it was Robin. "Why aren't you out on the dance floor Raven?" "Because no one asked me to go out and dance like a fool." "Well I'm asking you now." "Or you asking or demanding?" "I just said asking. Come on just one little dance, the music isn't fast." He realized he was talking to his self cause Raven was already on the floor. They danced in the same position him and Star was in awhile ago. He held her tight like he did the first time they danced and he didn't want to let go. He noticed she didn't look at him once they started dancing, he wondered to himself what was wrong. "Raven?" "Hmm?" "You…angry at me?" "No Robin." "Well, you seem like you don't like me." "If only you knew." "I wish I did." he said turning her head to face him. "I didn't mean to say that aloud." "Did you?" "Robin…what I feel…" "Raven you shouldn't be scared to say what's on your mind, you never have." From the bar Starfire was watching the both of them on the dance floor. She looked at the expressions on both their faces and how they never lost eye contact. "All this time of the fear of losing him, I already lost him a long time ago."
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When home the titans were tired and worn out from having too much fun. "Well, yawn, I guess I'll see ya'll in the morning." Cyborg said as he made his way to his room. "Yeah. I gotta date with Chi chi tomorrow night so I need my beauty sleep. Good night." BB said as he dragged himself to his room shutting the door. "Thanks for the night guys but I'm gonna go to bed too." Raven said teleporting herself to her room. "Starfire?" "Yes Robin." "Can I talk to you for a while?" "Yes you may."
Robin couldn't believe the thing he was about to do to his friend and girlfriend. They took a seat on the couch and he took her hand into his. "Star…I have to tell you something." "Alright." He looked into her emerald eyes and under his breath said sorry. "What was that Robin?" "Star I'm living in this fairy tale with you." "That's what you call it?" "I've enjoyed every single moment with you Star, I really have." "Robin? What's going on?" "Please don't make it harder than what it is." "Robin…" "Star when I first kissed you I knew that I was in a dream, a fairy tale." "Yes." "But, fairy tales or dreams don't usually last long do they?" "I suppose not." "Star…I love you…but…" "But what?" Robin now had tears in his eyes and tried to hold them back until a tear hit Starfire's hand. "Robin? What's wrong!" "I love Starfire…but I'm not in love…with you." Tears now filled her eyes, "Robin what are you saying?" she said while tears came down her cheek as well. "I'm saying that our whole boyfriend/girlfriend relationship was based on a lie." "Was it!" "I'm sorry Star, but the last chapter of this book was over awhile ago." "…" "Star…my heart didn't belong to you, my lust did." "Is it Raven?" He was shocked at how she said it, calm and unknowing. "Is it Raven what?" "The one that has your heart." Robin looked down not wanting to see her face, but she lifted his face back to hers. "Robin…just answer." He took his hand and wiped the tears from her face, "Yes…please don't…hate her. If you must be mad at someone be mad at me." "No…I shouldn't be mad at anyone." "Star…" "Robin I've been knowing this for a long time now and I'm just glad you told me before I made a blung gart out of myself." As she stood up he stood up too while she was on her way to her room. Come to think of it she ran back to Robin embracing him in a hug, "I'm happy for you Robin, I really am." "Why?" "I'd rather see you happy with someone else instead of being miserable and me being the cause for it." "So…are we still friends?" "Back to the normal routine." As they walked to Star's room she gave him another hug, and as he was walking back to his room he turned around. Looking back at him Star gave him a smile and he blew her a kiss while smiling too.
A/N: Told you it was sad. This whole chapter took me four and half hours to do because I had to just come out with something in my head. I hope ya'll liked it and the last chapter is coming soon!