The damn woman was a pain in the ass.

First she was hot, then she was cold, then she was hungry, then she wasn't, and then she lost her temper with me cause the seat in the jeep wasn't soft enough for her.

I hit the Wagon Wheel for some oatmeal for her and an egg sandwich for me. I was starved and she was just as hungry. Thank God they didn't have a no shirt no service rule. But then again, it was North Georgia.

I paid for the breakfast and walked out into the dark parking lot and climbed in the jeep where she was playing with the seat, "This is a pain, it hurts my back."

Somehow she made the sentence seem proper with her accent, but I still was annoyed, I gave her the paper bag, "Well woman, sit yo ass in the back, A'ight. The base ain't that far."

She narrowed her almond eyes.

So I stuck my tongue out at her, as I turned the car on and put it in reverse.

She flipped me off, then flipped the air on. "Damn, it's hot in here, don't tell me your not hot."

I was not about to argue with the woman, as I backed up I muttered, "Its a damn sauna."

I checked both ways before I pulled out onto the curly road as she put the bag of food on the floor, "I'm not hungry."

I didn't dare roll my eyes for fear she'd see me and loose her mind.

Instead I concentrated on the road while she unhooked her belt and messed with her seat. Putting it up and down. For a minute I thought I'd tell her to hook her belt, but then I decided against it.

I came to the one stoplight before the base when she turned the air off, "Damn! It's freaking ice box!"

With a look over at the miserable woman I suggested, "Why ain't you hop in the back? The lights red."

She glared at me.

It scared me.

"Do I look like a damn acrobat to you? Does it look like I can pull a Chinese fire drill? I am almost nine months pregnant Hoot! Just because you're the Godfather to Abdullah, does not mean you can tell me what to do!"

When did I tell her what to do?

I decided to change the subject as the light turned green, "Sanderson finally cave on the name?"

She glared again, "NO! He wants to name our child after a weapon! Can you believe that!"

"No, I was as horrified as you," I lied.

She let out a cry, then crossed her legs, trying to get comfortable. Finally I swore, "Damn woman! You got a problem with the seat?"

She yelled right back, "There is not a inch of damn leg room!"

"A'ight, hold on, first church we come to I'll stop and move your damn seat." I told Sanderson's wife. Who rolled her dark eyes, "This is the Bible Belt Hoot, there is a church every ten feet."

"Yeah yeah," I muttered, sure enough there was a church once the words were out of my mouth, I saw a church. I pulled into it and put the jeep in two parking spots. I then climbed out and literally stomped around the jeep while she got out. "I wanna sit across the back seat. Push that seat up," she told me, pointing to the passenger seat she had been in.

Since I was in the "Mt. Zion Baptist Church parking lot I didn't swear.…out loud.

Inwardly I rattling them off like my serial number, while I pulled the level and pulled the passenger seat up far as it could go for her. Then I helped her in the back seat.

It was then I realized I had crushed my egg sandwich.

"I'm hungry," she told me.

At then I stormed back to the passenger seat and pulled out the crushed bag, I thrust it at her. She then pointed, "Hoot….look at that car."

I turned and saw a little Volvo parked under a streetlamp.

Inside were obviously two kids.

She looked at me, "Well."

"Well what," I demanded, looking back at her.

Humera opened her Styrofoam container of oatmeal, "Well aren't you going to do anything?"

I stared at her, "It is almost dawn. Do I look like the fucking police?"

"Fine. Be that way," she spat.

I turned and looked across the dimly lit parking lot. The Volvo could be my only chance for fun. So I told her, "Give me my flashlight."

With a giggle from her my MagLight was put in my hand. The heavy steel lights that the Feds and Military used, even cops. They were great! They could illuminate outer space probably.

I closed the two doors on the jeep, then headed across the parking lot to the jeep. Pulling my wallet out of my back pocket. Where my military id was kept.

I flicked my flashlight on and saw there were two people inside having a good time.

So I went up to the car and tapped on the driver's window.

Sure enough they looked up, the guy on the girl. He had no style, one hand on her boob like it was a baseball, his other hand was somewhere else. I shone the light in their eyes and flashed my military id, glad the cops were not patrolling the area.

The kids quickly covered themselves up, then the guy rolled down the window, "Yes sir?"

I shone the light in at him, blinding him.

"Do you know this here young man?" I asked her.

She nodded, "Yes sir."

The fact I was topless apparently didn't their minds. So then I asked her, "Are you here of your own free will? Or do I need'a to take him in?"

She quickly shook her head, "No sir, I I I wanna be here."

So then I turned to him, "You cheap bastard, you can't ford a hotel room for this here beautiful young girl? What would her father think?"

"Ummm. Ummm. Well, uh, ummm." Was the young mans answer.

He was clearly the next Einstein.

"A'ight, I'm gonna do you a favor. You take this here young woman home, an I won rest your ass for public indecency. A'ight?"

Both nodded, he quickly climbed off the girl, I watched as they put themselves together and drove out of the church parking lot.

Rather pleased with myself, I headed back to my jeep, where my egg sandwich was waiten for me. I climbed in the jeep, put my light down, and turned to get my sandwich from Humera who was sweating.

She wasn't sweating a little, the woman looked like she was in a sauna! Flushed too. "Damn woman, what's wrong," I asked.

She thought carefully about it then just as carefully told me, "I think….I am having the baby."