Think About It

Chapter 2

disclaimer: the usual, i don't own anything, i just wrote the story.

"I can't see you anymore," I was saying. "It's not safe for you to be around me…" I knew she could see through my lies. My deception never worked on her, not ever. "Maxie, we're over, okay? Get it? Yeah, we had something special when we were trapped in a cabin! But it was a cabin… we thought we were gonna die. Lots of people bond over that… You and me now, we got nothing."

"I don't believe you," she replied. Why couldn't she just back down. Why couldn't she just take the pain she felt and leave me to my lonesome to sulk? I couldn't go back on my word. I couldn't sneak around with her. It wasn't right to hide a relationship, and I wasn't about to change my mind.

"I don't care if you believe me or not. Listen to my words, Maxie. I don't want to be with you… not anymore, anyway. It's over. That's it, and we're done now." Her face scrunched with angry determination as I began to turn away.

I only got one step away before she appeared before me. "We're not over, and you know it." She spoke passionately. "Jesse," she grabbed one of my hands. It took me a moment to remember to shrug it away. I shoved my hands into my pockets to avoid future contact. "Please," her eyes softened as they pleaded with mine. "Please don't do this. Forget whatever Mac is holding over you. Please… just think about this. Think it though, okay? You and I both know that we are meant to be, and the longer you fight it, the worse you'll feel…" She took a moment and averted her eyes. I knew the tears were welding in the corners of her eyes. I longed to hold her tightly in my arms… to tell her it was okay… promise I'd never break her heart again… I longed to simply be with her.

I pushed back all emotion and put on another brave front – I was running low on energy.

Maxie looked up at me again. I showed nothing. "Please, Jesse, we can sneak around if need be…" She heaved a small sigh. "Just think about it," she asked me. I could still smell the scent of her perfume in the wind. The piers were abandoned and lonely at this hour of the night. The drizzle of rain kept many in, but not me. I relived that very moment in my head over and over again and yet again.

I thought about Dillon's advice. Was it worth risking everything for a relationship that might just lead to nothing but what all the others did: pain. I knew that I didn't have the best track record, but with Maxie, it seemed like it could be different. I chuckled to myself lightly at the thought of Maxie learning of my dating past… she'd probably run as far away as possible.

I felt the rain pick up as I leaned back onto the bench. Out of the corner of my eye I saw figure move in the darkness. As it walked toward me, I made out the shape of a girl. "Jesse?" questioned a voice I'd recognize anywhere. I looked up and over to it.

"Yeah?" I didn't want to have this discussion now. Not here, either. This was the scene of our last crime and I didn't want to have another moment here again. Maxie walked over to me and stood, looking down on me. I was barely able to see her, the streetlights not yet on and the moon covered by dark clouds.

"What are you doing out here in the rain?" she asked me. Why did it matter?

"I'm busy, Maxie," I started to tell her and stood up to leave. I can't stay here, I told myself… I might do something I'll regret. I made sure there was a decent distance between us and waited for her response.

"You don't look too busy. Why are you out here? It's raining."

"Why are you out here? Unless you're delivering a message from Mac, I don't want to talk to you," I responded. Why do I have to be such an ass. I gauged her response – my comment barely registered with her, good. "I have to go," I excused myself.

"Wait!" She grabbed my wrist and held on tightly. "Jesse…" A few feet down a streetlight buzzed on and off. I turned to get my arm back, but somehow caught her eye instead.

I forgot what I was doing and stood there. Wow, her eyes were the most beautiful I'd ever seen… deep as oceans. "Please stay," was all she whispered. I barely heard the words come out of her mouth.

And I knew I would.

I didn't really have much free will at the moment… it was those eyes, I swear. "I can't… I have to go…" I tried to tell her.

I broke eye contact and regained most of my posture.

Don't lead her on, I told myself, you can't go there with her so don't hurt her even more in the process…

"Jesse," she whispered my name again. It floated off her tongue and into the wind. "We can do this."

I'm not so sure we can, girl.

Fighting the temptation to kiss her was hard enough. I had to break contact, so I yanked my arm away. She took a step forward and stared me down. "Jesse," she told me, this time her voice was firm, hard, commanding.

This voice was new to me.

"If you want to leave now, go." She arched an eyebrow. "But if you want to stay, you should." I could feel that my shirt was completely soaked through by now. Her skin glistened of rain drops.

The idea of her was intoxicating me.

"I should go," I said to no one. I was caught once again in her eyes. "before I do something stupid."

I saw her move a step closer. "Stupid? What stupid thing would you ever do?"

This was just getting cruel an inhumane now.

She was doing things to me.

She took another step. I felt the rain pounding on my back and shoulders now. I noticed that Maxie was soaked as well.

With the rain falling all around, she closed the gap between us. I'd forgotten just how sweet her lip's had tasted. And before I knew it, I lost all sense of self. All there was left was her and me and the kiss we were sharing. The rain pounded on us and faded away with the rest of the world for that minute.

Finally I realized who I was and what I was doing and I pushed away. "I can't do this, Maxie, I'm sorry. It's just not going to work."

I turned and took off before she could respond.