Think About It

Chapter 3

(yes, this is the last chapter, and no there probably won't be a sequel.)

disclaimer: the usual, i don't own anything - i just wrote the story.

I barely slept that night. Maxie's words ran through my head. Her touch haunted my memory. That kiss never left me alone. The rhythmic pounding of rain on my window – which usually soothed – only served to remind me more of Maxie.

So, after a night of tormented sleep, I finally got up and headed out. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go, I just wanted to get out, really. I ended up at the park, just strolling though with nowhere to go. As the gazebo came into my sight, I heard a distinct voice. And then another.

I slowed my pace and began to eavesdrop. "I just don't understand why he's being so difficult, Georgie. I mean, we could work around this. You and Dillon were able to sneak around, why can't he just give in and do that same?"

"Maxie, it's not that simple. First, Dillon and I are both teenagers, okay? We both go to high school. Jesse is an undercover cop, Maxie. He has a job – a career. And he works for Mac – that's not so easy to get around either. Besides Dillon always seemed to want me, I was just too stupid to notice it, remember?"

"You were just distracted… I just wish he'd stop fighting it, you know? I mean, we had a connection. A real connection… and I just wish he'd admit it." I wish I could admit it too, I thought to myself.

"I don't think he's worth your time, Maxie." I scrunched my face. I might be a lot of things, but I'm not a waste of her time!

"What do you mean? Of course he's worth my time…" At least she gets it.

"Oh, come on! For the past week or two all he's done is push and push and push. And all you've done is pleaded and pleaded with him. He's like a crater, Maxie, he's not gonna budge."

I watched as Maxie sighed and placed a hand to her head. "Georgie," she began slowly, "If you only believe one thing I'll ever tell you, believe this: he's worth it." I felt a smile crawling it's way onto my lips. I inched forward. "You know how you feel about Dillon – how you want to marry him one day because he's the one – how you just know that he's the one…" I noted Georgie nodding with a small blush creeping into her cheeks. "That's how it is with Jesse." Is it really? How come she knows all this – how could she know all this?

Is that why I can't seem to stop thinking about her every waking – and sleeping moment?

This is not fair. If we're meant to be, I guess I shouldn't put up such a fight to stay apart, should I? But then what if we're not? What if she's actually wrong and in a month we're broken up and hate each other? That would not be good. I'd hate to lose her like that forever.

My thoughts preoccupied me from their conversation until I heard Georgie say, "Wow, I'm late… I have a lunch date with the one. I'll see you later!" I ducked back behind a bush as she rushed past where I hiding.

I waited for a minute, making sure that she was gone before I came out from hiding.

"Jesse? Why are you hiding behind bushes? I know you're an undercover cop, but I didn't think you'd take it so literally…"

I flashed her a fake smile. "It's a new part of the job. Your dad told me to go practice my techniques and master them… I think he just wanted me to go away, quite frankly… No clue why, though."

"Gee, I wonder. Guess he didn't pay attention when I said I was going to the park with Georgie. Oh well." Her eyes shined and looked a little puffy… had she cried?

"Are you okay?" I wondered aloud.

Maxie put up a brave front. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine." She smiled fakely and returned with a question of her own, "Why do you ask?"

I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to think that I was the reason she'd cried – because I knew it was all my fault. I didn't want to feel like holding her in my arms again. Kissing her… and everything else.

"You just… uh…" I searched for the proper words, "you look sad." Way to be an idiot, I applauded myself inside. Could I be anymore stupid? Gee, break her heart and then mention that she looks sad… Way for me to state the obvious.

Why did she like me anyway?

We stood in a silence, staring into each other's eyes, neither of us knowing what to say.

After what seemed like forever, Maxie took a step closer to me. "Did you think about what I said?" she asked me.

I nodded. I couldn't breathe, I felt my heartbeat increase. Another step toward me.

"Did you make a decision yet?" she took another step.

This was cruel and she knew it. How was I supposed to say no to her now that she was inches away from me. I knew what my answer should be. And I knew what I should've said.

I nodded again.

I knew what to say, and I knew what I wanted to say. But should I actually say it?

She moved closer again. I could feel her against me now. Her breathing was regular… could she tell mine was erratic? Could she feel my heart beating a million miles a minute?

"So, what did you decide?" All I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss her… and how I should be strong.

Don't let her get to you, I told myself.

I took a step backward. "Maxie," I started. My voice was firm, unlike the rest of me.

Just tell her to get lost, I told myself, you two can't get mixed up in each other.

She just waited patiently, as if she knew I was debating myself.

"Okay." I said before I knew what'd I done. We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Why did I just say okay? I yelled at myself silently.

Take it back now, I yelled, don't let her get involved with you more than she already is!

"Okay?" she threw back at me, as if she read my mind.

I stopped and looked at her closely.

"Okay," I said after a moment. I'd give in to her finally – God knows she'd been waiting for this moment since forever.

This time, I was the one who cut through the air between us. As soon as my second okay came out, I pushed through the space between us and onto her. I'd been waiting so long for this moment, and maybe she was right.

Maybe we were the one for each other… maybe we'd only last a year or two… either way, I wanted to find out already.