A/N: Sorry for the extreme lateness, but hey.. Ya want somethin' good, ya
gotta wait fer it, ne? Don't kill me! hides
To the reviewers:
Raven's Light: Many thanks for the suggestions and ideas. They proved to be most helpful.*glomps and huggles* Where would I be without you??
Wolfgirl333: Yeah, that's my life now. A new science project, unit, and test every week. Not counting homework and in class worksheets. Then there's French and Social studies. @. @
Bishie Lovers 'R' Us: Yup. Not the way I'd intended them to be... But yep. And the Duo – 'Fei getting together thing? We'll see. Even I don't know how the story's gonna turn out..
Weissangel24: I know how you feel.. I wish it was longer too, and even I'm wondering what the fuck is going through Yuy's head. Oh, and no problem about the responding to reviewers thing. I feel it is my right and responsibility to do so.. After all... If it weren't for you guys... I wouldn't still be writing. ^.^
Mysticheero: I didn't mean to tease! Honestly I didn't! Also my mother had my bankcard cuz I've a spending problem too... But I have it now, though I suppose I'll give it back to her. Don't worry, I shan't discontinue yet.. And I prefer the Heero - Duo pairing myself..
Sarano: Glad to hear that you relocated my story. And no. My story is not great.. I'd rate it as a mediocre to a good.. But it's not great. Next, Duo and Heero... We'll hafta see on that.. It all depends on what ever the muse I don't have offers me by way of inspiration and my traitorous beta. She likes to mess around with my story.. But then again.. If she didn't, it wouldn't have progress the way it did.
NeputneHelena: Idiot? You? Only if you say so... Repressed anger? Nope. I'm a perfectly healthy individual in all meanings of the word. So what did I do to Duo again? Seriously. It might have been my evil beta Panther's Tear, but yes. Angst and torture good. Fluff and sugary sap bad... Very, very bad... ^.^''
AnimeOnna: (I love that name...) Don't worry. I want them to get back together. The only thing that is standing in my way of achieving that is the muse, and my beta. But I am a formidable force and I shall achieve my goal. I hope.
Now on to the next chappy.
Warning: Switches between pov's but I'm sure by now you all can guess who's talking when. If not, how the heck you get this far?
Song is 'Walking on Broken Glass' by Mest. Many thanks go to Raven's Light for suggesting this song.
Chapter 10:
/ Time goes by, I just try /
/ To hold my head up high /
/ People try to deny /
/ Classify, or just hide /
/ The feelings, what's inside /
/ Broken hearts, and hard times /
/ Don't let life break you down this time /
/ I'm sitting here, crying here /
/ You're alone and dying there /
/ Waiting for bad news /
/ Like walking on broken glass /
When I woke up on the couch 'Fei was gone. Tro and Quatre were in the kitchen though. Probably 'cuz 'Fei called one or both of them. It made me momentarily glad to know that at least someone cared about me enough to not leave me alone. I vaguely wondered for a brief second why I was in the living room. However I soon remembered why I was there. I had fallen asleep in Wu Fei's arms... crying. Crying because Heero, the one person in the world I dared to care about beyond simple friendship, the only person I decided to trust completely after losing so many others in the past, hated me. Yea, I know 'Fei said that Yuy doesn't hate me, that he's jus' bein' a jerk. But, Wu Fei didn't see what I had. He didn't see the disgust and contempt in Heero's eyes as he got up and left the room, forsaking my trust and leaving me completely shattered and utterly alone. I wondered why he could loathe me so for a minute before it dawned on me. It was almost glaringly obvious. I was weak. I loved him, and I cried. The two biggest signs of weakness as far as Heero Yuy is concerned. And Solo had always said boys don't cry. Damn if I wasn't pathetic and didn't deserve his scorn.
And worse, now I was wasting Quatre and Trowa's time with my dumb problems. I know they are both very busy people, why the hell am I such a nuisance? Wu Fei probably left to go yell at Heero too. Damn Wu Fei he's done nothing wrong this is my fault! I'm the weak little cretin that made Heero hate me. I better find him.
~*~*~*~*~
/ No answers for what was asked /
/ You're all alone /
/ Cuz you know I'd give up my life for you /
/ Time can be nothing but our enemy /
/ Don't give up just hold on /
/ Is the pain too strong /
/ To hold on /
/ Sometimes we're wrong when we think we're right /
/ Tonight will be the night /
/ You'll break free from this fight /
/ Don't let life break you down this time /
/ I'm sitting here, crying here /
/ You're alone and dying there /
/ Wait for bad news /
/ Like walking on broken glass /
When I came back into the room Duo was swiftly making his way towards the door. "Duo! Where are you going?" I asked. Trowa heard and came in. Duo turned to face me and his face looked so sad it nearly tore my heart in two. "I'm going to do what I should have a long time ago." I think my jaw hit the floor. I mean Heero had left Duo and hurt him. Everything Heero had done and Duo wanted to apologize to him? "What?" was the only word that popped into my head. And consequentially, out of my mouth
Trowa thought much better than I did. His first instinct was to restrain Duo, prevent him from leaving. "I have to say sorry for driving him away. If I hadn't been so weak.." Duo trailed off as Trowa held him fast. "Duo you're not weak..." I began only to be cut off by him.
"Yes I am! I loved him! I cried! Two sure signs of weakness!" I didn't know what to say to that one at the moment so I simply wrapped him in a comforting hug. Then I thought of something. A question. "Duo? Do you think I'm weak?" The question in place of a command seemed to startle him. "Huh? Nah Quat... of course not." "Well how then can you see yourself as weak? I love Trowa. I cry. If those don't make me weak how can they make you?"
~*~*~*~*~
/ No answers for what was asked /
/ You're all alone /
/ Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you /
/ Time can be nothing but our enemy /
/ I die inside from all I feel /
/ Does it have to be this way? /
/ Memories of yesterday /
/ When it all just slips away /
/ I give up everything I had to keep you one more day /
/ I know that it's not right /
/ Why do we feel this way? /
/ Why do I feel this way /
/ I'm sitting here, crying here /
/ You're alone and dying there /
/ Waiting for bad news /
/ Like walking on broken glass /
It surprised me when Quatre asked if I thought he was weak. I'll admit that much. To me it seemed almost as if he started thinking on a different tangent. Well, whatever it was, it caught me off guard. However, Quatre didn't understand. My upbringing didn't allow for emotions like his did. Living on the streets of L2 it was survival of the fittest, a hand to mouth survival. Emotions, especially love, were signs of weakness. And were useless as the person you loved could die at any given moment, particularly when you least expected it. I learned that the hard way. First there was Solo, my best friend. He was like a big brother to me; I knew I could trust him to always be there for me. That was until the plague got him. I stole the cure from an alliance hospital, but it was too late. That night 2 little boys died, Solo, and the street rat they called Purple Eyes. Also on that night, I was reborn, as Duo.
Shortly afterwards, after a bad raid on an alliance base, my gang and I were taken in by the Maxwell Church. It was there that I met Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. To me, they were like the parents I had never had. They loved and cared for me. Also they taught me that I didn't need to steal to get what I needed. They also showed me that violence, though most effective, isn't always the right answer. The year I spent with them was the happiest year of my life, but it too ended in tragedy. The Maxwell Church Massacre. The Alliance military attacked and destroyed the church as a rebel group had taken up residence there to care for the wounded and plan a strategy of attack. 245 people died that night. I only survived as I had left to steal a mobile suit from the alliance for the rebels so they would leave. The church was nothing more than rubble when I returned. It was then that I became Duo Maxwell, the Shinigami.
Now Quatre is one of the strongest guys I know. But, back then; emotions also made a person a target. A victim preyed upon by all the sick and twisted individuals of the world. And that is something I do not want to have to live through ever again. Back then, you had to learn to hide your emotions and fast. And if you could just bury and forget them, the better off you were. But I would never tell him this. He's too good for it. He doesn't need the problems a pathetic ex-street rat.
~*~*~*~*~
/ No answers for what was asked /
/ You're all alone /
/ Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you /
/ Time can be nothing but our enemy /
"Yuy, answer me." He growled rather upset. I think my persistence in my correctness in the decision to leave was getting on his nerves. I sighed and closed my eyes. I knew what I wanted to tell him... But I couldn't. The words wouldn't come. Also, I am not used to being so open in my feelings. Which only made the task more difficult. But I finally settled on what I would say... Now the only problem was... How would he react?
I lowered my head, opening my eyes to stare at the ground at my feet, preferring it to the scowl that was sure to be on Wu Fei's face. "I..." I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. I know I left in fear of hurting Duo again. But how to explain it to Wu Fei? I just could not do it. So instead I came up with a new strategy. I resorted to a weapon that had never failed me before. I became the perfect soldier one more time. I stood up, and looked at Wu Fei dead on. "I'm leaving. I left the safe house because I had to. I had to because I do not need someone like him tagging along and slowing me down. I am Relena's chief of security and personal bodyguard. I am a very busy person and do not have any more time to waste with that whining, simpering, braided baka. Now if you'll excuse me." I said rather coolly before turning around and starting my trek back to where I had left my vehicle. //I'm sorry Duo...//
To the reviewers:
Raven's Light: Many thanks for the suggestions and ideas. They proved to be most helpful.*glomps and huggles* Where would I be without you??
Wolfgirl333: Yeah, that's my life now. A new science project, unit, and test every week. Not counting homework and in class worksheets. Then there's French and Social studies. @. @
Bishie Lovers 'R' Us: Yup. Not the way I'd intended them to be... But yep. And the Duo – 'Fei getting together thing? We'll see. Even I don't know how the story's gonna turn out..
Weissangel24: I know how you feel.. I wish it was longer too, and even I'm wondering what the fuck is going through Yuy's head. Oh, and no problem about the responding to reviewers thing. I feel it is my right and responsibility to do so.. After all... If it weren't for you guys... I wouldn't still be writing. ^.^
Mysticheero: I didn't mean to tease! Honestly I didn't! Also my mother had my bankcard cuz I've a spending problem too... But I have it now, though I suppose I'll give it back to her. Don't worry, I shan't discontinue yet.. And I prefer the Heero - Duo pairing myself..
Sarano: Glad to hear that you relocated my story. And no. My story is not great.. I'd rate it as a mediocre to a good.. But it's not great. Next, Duo and Heero... We'll hafta see on that.. It all depends on what ever the muse I don't have offers me by way of inspiration and my traitorous beta. She likes to mess around with my story.. But then again.. If she didn't, it wouldn't have progress the way it did.
NeputneHelena: Idiot? You? Only if you say so... Repressed anger? Nope. I'm a perfectly healthy individual in all meanings of the word. So what did I do to Duo again? Seriously. It might have been my evil beta Panther's Tear, but yes. Angst and torture good. Fluff and sugary sap bad... Very, very bad... ^.^''
AnimeOnna: (I love that name...) Don't worry. I want them to get back together. The only thing that is standing in my way of achieving that is the muse, and my beta. But I am a formidable force and I shall achieve my goal. I hope.
Now on to the next chappy.
Warning: Switches between pov's but I'm sure by now you all can guess who's talking when. If not, how the heck you get this far?
Song is 'Walking on Broken Glass' by Mest. Many thanks go to Raven's Light for suggesting this song.
Chapter 10:
/ Time goes by, I just try /
/ To hold my head up high /
/ People try to deny /
/ Classify, or just hide /
/ The feelings, what's inside /
/ Broken hearts, and hard times /
/ Don't let life break you down this time /
/ I'm sitting here, crying here /
/ You're alone and dying there /
/ Waiting for bad news /
/ Like walking on broken glass /
When I woke up on the couch 'Fei was gone. Tro and Quatre were in the kitchen though. Probably 'cuz 'Fei called one or both of them. It made me momentarily glad to know that at least someone cared about me enough to not leave me alone. I vaguely wondered for a brief second why I was in the living room. However I soon remembered why I was there. I had fallen asleep in Wu Fei's arms... crying. Crying because Heero, the one person in the world I dared to care about beyond simple friendship, the only person I decided to trust completely after losing so many others in the past, hated me. Yea, I know 'Fei said that Yuy doesn't hate me, that he's jus' bein' a jerk. But, Wu Fei didn't see what I had. He didn't see the disgust and contempt in Heero's eyes as he got up and left the room, forsaking my trust and leaving me completely shattered and utterly alone. I wondered why he could loathe me so for a minute before it dawned on me. It was almost glaringly obvious. I was weak. I loved him, and I cried. The two biggest signs of weakness as far as Heero Yuy is concerned. And Solo had always said boys don't cry. Damn if I wasn't pathetic and didn't deserve his scorn.
And worse, now I was wasting Quatre and Trowa's time with my dumb problems. I know they are both very busy people, why the hell am I such a nuisance? Wu Fei probably left to go yell at Heero too. Damn Wu Fei he's done nothing wrong this is my fault! I'm the weak little cretin that made Heero hate me. I better find him.
~*~*~*~*~
/ No answers for what was asked /
/ You're all alone /
/ Cuz you know I'd give up my life for you /
/ Time can be nothing but our enemy /
/ Don't give up just hold on /
/ Is the pain too strong /
/ To hold on /
/ Sometimes we're wrong when we think we're right /
/ Tonight will be the night /
/ You'll break free from this fight /
/ Don't let life break you down this time /
/ I'm sitting here, crying here /
/ You're alone and dying there /
/ Wait for bad news /
/ Like walking on broken glass /
When I came back into the room Duo was swiftly making his way towards the door. "Duo! Where are you going?" I asked. Trowa heard and came in. Duo turned to face me and his face looked so sad it nearly tore my heart in two. "I'm going to do what I should have a long time ago." I think my jaw hit the floor. I mean Heero had left Duo and hurt him. Everything Heero had done and Duo wanted to apologize to him? "What?" was the only word that popped into my head. And consequentially, out of my mouth
Trowa thought much better than I did. His first instinct was to restrain Duo, prevent him from leaving. "I have to say sorry for driving him away. If I hadn't been so weak.." Duo trailed off as Trowa held him fast. "Duo you're not weak..." I began only to be cut off by him.
"Yes I am! I loved him! I cried! Two sure signs of weakness!" I didn't know what to say to that one at the moment so I simply wrapped him in a comforting hug. Then I thought of something. A question. "Duo? Do you think I'm weak?" The question in place of a command seemed to startle him. "Huh? Nah Quat... of course not." "Well how then can you see yourself as weak? I love Trowa. I cry. If those don't make me weak how can they make you?"
~*~*~*~*~
/ No answers for what was asked /
/ You're all alone /
/ Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you /
/ Time can be nothing but our enemy /
/ I die inside from all I feel /
/ Does it have to be this way? /
/ Memories of yesterday /
/ When it all just slips away /
/ I give up everything I had to keep you one more day /
/ I know that it's not right /
/ Why do we feel this way? /
/ Why do I feel this way /
/ I'm sitting here, crying here /
/ You're alone and dying there /
/ Waiting for bad news /
/ Like walking on broken glass /
It surprised me when Quatre asked if I thought he was weak. I'll admit that much. To me it seemed almost as if he started thinking on a different tangent. Well, whatever it was, it caught me off guard. However, Quatre didn't understand. My upbringing didn't allow for emotions like his did. Living on the streets of L2 it was survival of the fittest, a hand to mouth survival. Emotions, especially love, were signs of weakness. And were useless as the person you loved could die at any given moment, particularly when you least expected it. I learned that the hard way. First there was Solo, my best friend. He was like a big brother to me; I knew I could trust him to always be there for me. That was until the plague got him. I stole the cure from an alliance hospital, but it was too late. That night 2 little boys died, Solo, and the street rat they called Purple Eyes. Also on that night, I was reborn, as Duo.
Shortly afterwards, after a bad raid on an alliance base, my gang and I were taken in by the Maxwell Church. It was there that I met Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. To me, they were like the parents I had never had. They loved and cared for me. Also they taught me that I didn't need to steal to get what I needed. They also showed me that violence, though most effective, isn't always the right answer. The year I spent with them was the happiest year of my life, but it too ended in tragedy. The Maxwell Church Massacre. The Alliance military attacked and destroyed the church as a rebel group had taken up residence there to care for the wounded and plan a strategy of attack. 245 people died that night. I only survived as I had left to steal a mobile suit from the alliance for the rebels so they would leave. The church was nothing more than rubble when I returned. It was then that I became Duo Maxwell, the Shinigami.
Now Quatre is one of the strongest guys I know. But, back then; emotions also made a person a target. A victim preyed upon by all the sick and twisted individuals of the world. And that is something I do not want to have to live through ever again. Back then, you had to learn to hide your emotions and fast. And if you could just bury and forget them, the better off you were. But I would never tell him this. He's too good for it. He doesn't need the problems a pathetic ex-street rat.
~*~*~*~*~
/ No answers for what was asked /
/ You're all alone /
/ Cuz you know that I'd give my life for you /
/ Time can be nothing but our enemy /
"Yuy, answer me." He growled rather upset. I think my persistence in my correctness in the decision to leave was getting on his nerves. I sighed and closed my eyes. I knew what I wanted to tell him... But I couldn't. The words wouldn't come. Also, I am not used to being so open in my feelings. Which only made the task more difficult. But I finally settled on what I would say... Now the only problem was... How would he react?
I lowered my head, opening my eyes to stare at the ground at my feet, preferring it to the scowl that was sure to be on Wu Fei's face. "I..." I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell him. I know I left in fear of hurting Duo again. But how to explain it to Wu Fei? I just could not do it. So instead I came up with a new strategy. I resorted to a weapon that had never failed me before. I became the perfect soldier one more time. I stood up, and looked at Wu Fei dead on. "I'm leaving. I left the safe house because I had to. I had to because I do not need someone like him tagging along and slowing me down. I am Relena's chief of security and personal bodyguard. I am a very busy person and do not have any more time to waste with that whining, simpering, braided baka. Now if you'll excuse me." I said rather coolly before turning around and starting my trek back to where I had left my vehicle. //I'm sorry Duo...//