(A/N) Hey everybody. Sorry I haven't updated in like, a year. But I honestly had no idea what I wanted to do with this story. But now it's summer break yet again and I have time on my hands. My creative juices have not deserted me and I know exactly what I want to do. Hope you enjoy.
The Fellowship Meets Reality
Chapter 3: Bouncing Like a Possessed Muffin
"But why can't we take them outside?" Aaron whined pitifully.
"You heard Atalanta. They can't be seen," Caly answered as she flipped the last of the pancakes up from the skillet and onto her giant mountain of pancakes. Apart from Cereal, pancakes were the only things Caly could make that actually tasted good. So she had made her siblings and their new guests a giant stack of them. Atalanta still wasn't awake after last night's episode so Caly decided to let her sleep and eat her chocolate chip pancakes later. Atalanta had had quite a time of it. It had taken some convincing for Legolas to believe that Atalanta wasn't Saruman in disguise. But when he finally did Atalanta forced the other members of the fellowship to come out of hiding. The power hadn't come back on for at least another hour and when it did Atalanta had a long talk with the Middle-Earthers about Saruman and weapons in the house. She had forced them all to hand their weapons over after managing to convince them that there were definitely no evil wizards on Earth. The fellowship had all somehow managed to squeeze into Aaron's room and that was where they slept. Now Aaron was begging Caly to let him take the Hobbits out back to jump on the trampoline but she stood fast. Even though bouncing Hobbits would be funny as hell to watch, Caly was starting to see what Atalanta had seen from the beginning. These nine may well be dangerous to their health.
"But who's going to see them in our backyard?"
"You never know."
"I don't care! I'm taking them out anyway!"
"Don't you even think-" Caly began angrily. But she was interrupted by the arrival of Atalanta, still dressed in the pair of shorts and the t-shirt she'd slept in.
"Can't you two just- PANCAKES!" Atalanta burst out when she saw the stack of chocolate chip pancakes sitting on the kitchen table. Boromir and Gimli pulled aside just in time to keep from being hit as Atalanta launched herself into the plate of pancakes.
"Uh…Atalanta? Don't you want a fork?" Caly asked nervously as she watched bits of pancake fly every which way.
"What for?" Atalanta tried to say through a mouthful of pancake.
Caly just shrugged in amusement as she slathered butter over her own stack of pancakes. Apparently age really didn't have anything to do with behavior.
"So, um…Atalanta…do we have any plans for today?" Aaron asked.
Atalanta shook her head as she downed the last of her pancakes and took a big slug of water from the glass sitting by her elbow. Merry tried to tell her that the water was his but she just glared at him in response.
"Not really. I have some plans for the Elf and the Dwarf but apart from that you guys can do what you want."
"Ok then. Can I take the Hobbits out back to jump on the trampoline?"
Atalanta regarded him with skepticism for a moment, running through last night's events in her head. But she finally nodded her consent.
"Sure. You can take them out back. But not anywhere else."
Caly stared at her older sister, shocked.
"Atalanta! What are you saying! What happened to the they can't be seen policy?"
"Our backyard's not dangerous, Caly. The Smiths are out of town this summer and Lloyd and Shortie aren't going to bother them if you're not out there. And you'll be helping me."
"Helping you with what?"
"You'll find out soon enough. But yeah, Aaron, have a ball. Just so long as you don't start a nuclear war back there I'm fine with it."
Without wasting another word Aaron pulled the four Hobbits up from the table. Sam managed to grab one last pancake before he rushed them out the back door. Aragorn, Boromir, and Gandalf just stood staring for a moment.
"And what are we to do while they are outside, my lady?" Aragorn asked.
"Ok, first off, don't call me lady. It ticks me off. Second, Gandalf, come here."
Gandalf approached Atalanta without protest. But he was soon protesting when she went around behind him and yanked his head down by the hair.
"What are you doing!"
"Pulling your hair back," Atalanta answered tersely as she pulled her hair tie off of her wrist and pulled Gandalf's unruly gray hair into a ponytail. "It's not too weird for an old guy like you to have long hair so long as you keep it pulled back."
Once she was finished with him, Atalanta shooed the three outside after Aaron and the Hobbits. Once they were gone she turned her gaze on Legolas and Gimli.
"All right, Caly?" Atalanta began to ask as she led the three down the hallway back towards her mom's sewing room, or, project room as they called it. "Where does Mom keep the scissors?"
"In the top drawer of the desk in the project room. They're- WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO WHAT I THINK YOU'RE GONNA DO ARE YOU!" Caly asked furiously.
"Of course I am," Atalanta answered matter-of-factly. "They can't go around with those wild manes."
"What exactly do you mean by that?" Legolas asked nervously.
"You'll find out," Atalanta answered as she shoved the two into the project room along with her sister. Then she entered and locked the door behind her. "Caly?"
"Yeah?"
"Go over to the closet and get what's on top of the thread draw."
Caly quickly ran to the closet and opened it, apprehensive about what Atalanta was about to do, but interested all the same. She reached in and came up with a bundle of curtain cords from her Mom's last big project.
"Rope?"
"Exactly. Rope them down," Atalanta ordered.
A sadistic smile spread over Caly's face as she caught on. Before Legolas could protest, she was on him, shoving him down into a chair and tying him to it.
"Make it as tight as you like," Atalanta said casually.
At seeing what they were doing to his companion, Gimli quickly ran to the door and tried to unlock it. But he was unfamiliar with the lock and finally reverted to pounding on the door and calling for help. But since the others were outside this was of no help and he wasn't much good at breaking out without his axe. Once Legolas was securely fastened into the chair, Caly turned her attention to the struggling Dwarf. It didn't take much for her to drag the midget back to another chair and tie him down.
"Now," Atalanta began as she reached into the drawer and came out with a pair of sharpened scissors. "For the fun part."
Both of the Middle-Earthers stared at the psychotic human, each gulping nervously.
XxX
"What is it?" Aragorn asked apprehensively. "It has the feel of something evil."
The rest of the companions seemed to agree with him, as he was the only one brave enough to come the closest to it, which in this case, was about five feet away from the thing itself. Everyone else sort of cowered behind him and stared at the device. Maybe it was a trap!
"Dudes, it's just a trampoline," Aaron said condescendingly. Afraid of a trampoline? They were like frickin' babies for crying out loud!
"And how is it supposed to be 'fun'?" Boromir asked suspiciously.
"Like such," Aaron began, approaching the trampoline and climbing onto it. He sat in the middle for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. But suddenly he leapt up and shot into the air, rocketed by the force of his sudden bounce.
The Fellowship stared in awe as Aaron continued to rocket into the air again and again. Being unfamiliar with the mystical science of trampoline construction, they were all convinced that Aaron was some kind of powerful sorcerer.
"How is this done?" Gandalf asked.
"Here, I'll show you," Aaron said. He extended his hand down to Merry. The Hobbit stared at the hand for a moment, uncertain of what to do. But he finally decided that it was worth the risk. It actually looked sort of fun.
"What do I do?" he asked once he had finally managed to keep his balance on the constantly shifting surface.
"Since you've never done this before I'll just bounce you for a little bit, ok?"
Merry nodded…but soon regretted it. Aaron worked up another powerful bounce, jumped into the air and landed hard beside Merry. The force of the bounce sent the poor Hobbit flying into the air. For a moment, it seemed to him that he was indeed flying. But he soon came crashing back down and Aaron sent him rocketing back up. With the sudden changes in altitude, Merry felt like he was about to loose what little breakfast he had gotten down that morning.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!" he screamed in terror as the wild ride continued. But Aaron was enjoying himself and had no intention of stopping.
After a good ten minutes of hard bouncing, Aaron allowed Merry to collapse on the trampoline, breathing hard and staring up at the sky.
The three other Hobbits approached the trampoline with extreme caution.
"Merry?" Pippin asked hesitantly. "Are you ok?"
At first, Merry didn't seem to realize that someone was talking to him. But after a few more minutes of staring blankly up at the sky, he turned his face over to his friends.
"That was actually…kind of fun."
"Really?" Sam asked, clearly surprised.
"Could…could I have a go?" Pippin asked.
"Sure. Come on up."
Pippin eagerly grabbed hold of the railing and pulled himself up onto the trampoline. Sam stared after him for a moment and then clambered up himself. Both Hobbits helped Merry to his feet. Frodo tried to go and join his kin, but Aragorn held him back.
"Wait, Frodo. I don't entirely trust this thing. Let us see what happens."
"Prepare yourselves, adventurers," Aaron said in a deep voice, imitating a dark master of some video game. "For the likes of a game which you've never played."
XxX
"Hey, Atalanta? Do you think I could keep his hair?" Caly asked.
"Why would you wanna do that?" Atalanta asked apprehensively.
"Because it's Legolas's hair!"
"Whatev."
"H-how could you? What have you done to my hair?" Legolas asked, a look of shock plastered onto his face as he stared at his hacked-off tresses scattered all over the floor.
"It had to be done. Especially if you don't want to be mauled by a horde of fan girls. We've gotta take you guys outside someday."
"I demand you return my hair to its rightful place!"
"Sorry. No can do. We're not witches," Caly answered as she blissfully went around the room, gathering the strands of blond Elf hair.
"But I can't go around like this," Legolas said irately, shaking his head for emphasis. "It looks like a Dwarf took an axe to my hair."
"I resent that!" Gimli said angrily.
"Hey! I didn't do that bad!" Atalanta protested as she went to untie his hands. "You look marginally normal now. All we've got to do is hide those ears of yours and you'll be fine."
Once he was free of the chair Legolas jumped up and went to look at his face in the mirror mounted up on the desk of drawers. He did have to admit that it could have turned out much worse. His hair stopped just above his neck but it was at least mostly even. But he shuddered to see his reflection just the same.
What would they say back home if they could see me now?
"All right then. Now it's the Dwarf's turn."
Before Gimli could even shout Atalanta had his mob of wild brown hair in her hands and was starting to hack through it with the scissors.
"Aaaaargh! Let go of me!"
"Sorry," Atalanta grunted as she continued to saw at the mane. "Gotta do it."
Once she had gotten through the main body of the tangle she cut away small bits of it until his hair was mostly even. Even with the little hair that remained it would be near impossible to get a brush through it. Oh well.
Then Atalanta moved around to the front and Gimli realized what she was going to do.
"NO! NOT THE BEARD! I'LL DO ANYTHING!"
"You know, somehow I just don't care," Atalanta said casually as she grabbed a hold of the beard and started hacking away at it.
"No!" Gimli shouted as he continued to struggle, trying to wrestle his beard out of Atalanta's clutches.
"Gimli!" she shouted, using his name for once as she yanked his head forward to look him directly in the eye. "Stop wiggling. Do you want me to poke a hole in your face!"
Gimli just bowed his head forward in shame, his body going totally slack as Atalanta finished with the cutting.
"Caly, please throw all this hair out. I think his hair still has leaves in it."
XxX
"Hey, Atalanta! What took you guys so long!" Aaron shouted to Atalanta from high up in the air. Aragorn had finally let Frodo get on the trampoline and all four Hobbits were bouncing around like possessed muffins. But none of them could match Aaron's skill in trampolines.
"Sorry. It took longer than I expected."
"What did?"
"Caly!" Atalanta called out. Their sister immediately came out from behind the row of bushes that hid the family pool from sight, leading a reluctant Legolas behind her.
"Legolas? Is that you?" Aragorn asked, taking in the Elf's newly shortened hair.
The Elf Prince just grumbled in response.
"Eh! Gimli! Get out here!"
"No!" a voice came out from behind the bushes. "I won't do it!"
"Gimli," Atalanta said condescendingly. "What did we talk about?"
"I don't take orders from you!"
"Oh well. I suppose I'll just have to throw the axe away then."
"No! A-all right, fine!"
With that, Gimli came shuffling out from behind the bushes. Only he had his shirt pulled up so that it hid his head from sight and left his huge belly in full view, swinging back and forth.
"Dude, put that away," Caly said, her voice full of disgust. "There are kids around here."
Gimli obliged, however unwillingly, and revealed his nearly shaved head. Shaved at least, in comparison to what it was before.
"Umm…Atalanta? Who is that?" Pippin asked nervously.
Gimli glared up at the Hobbits. None of them recognized him without his masses of hair.
"It's ME, fool! It's Gimli!"
"Oooooh, sorry about that."
Gimli just snarled and hunched his shoulders up around his neck.
"Get used to it, Dwarf. You're gonna be here for awhile. Aaron, mind if I have a go with the Hobbits?" Atalanta asked.
"They're all yours," Aaron said, climbing down from the trampoline and letting Atalanta on.
"Can you bounce us as high as Aaron does? I don't think anyone could top that," Sam said.
As the four Hobbits stared expectantly, Atalanta let out a sadistic laugh.
"Aaron is nothing compared to me! You Hobbits have no idea what you're in for!"
Aragorn made a move towards Atalanta as she spoke those threatening words but Caly stopped him. This would be interesting to watch.
"Aaron?" Legolas asked the boy "Your sister did that same laugh when she was cutting my hair. She's always doing it. Is there something wrong with her?"
"Oh no. That's completely normal for her. She's sort of crazy like that."
XxX
Isengard had once been one of the most beautiful places in all of Middle-Earth. Now it was a scarred and barren place. Its beautiful groves of trees had all been ripped out and dragged away to make machines of war. Huge caverns had been dug into the land to make room for the industries of war…room for foul workings of breeding and dark magic.
The wizard responsible for this terrible rape of the land was currently at the top of the tower of Orthanc; the only thing that remained of Isengard. An impenetrable black tower built millennia ago by the followers of Isildur. Saruman the White cared nothing for the life he had destroyed. His mind had long ago been consumed by a lust for power. Power that he had hoped to gain by throwing in his lot with Sauron. And now all of his thoughts were focused on finding the nine that would stand against them.
"Where are you, Gandalf?" he hissed to himself as he paced back and forth across his chamber. He had tried all of his arts, all the power that he possessed, and it was not enough. He had lost track of the Fellowship somewhere in Moria. They had not met with the Balrog of Morgoth…of that he was certain. But the fact was that they had simply vanished. Gone completely beyond the reach of all of his senses.
"Perhaps another look in the Palantir," he whispered, though Saruman was fairly certain that he would not find anything. He had looked before and found no trace of them.
But now, as he gazed into the swirling depths of the seeing stone, a new vision came to him. He saw two girls and a boy, all dressed in extremely outlandish clothing. But what surprised him was that he recognized the weapons that the young ones carried.
The boy was holding Gandalf's staff aloft over his head. The elder girl held an Elvin bow in her hands and wore a quiver of arrows on her back. The younger girl was holding the hilt of a very familiar-looking sword in her hands.
"Anduril? What is this?"
But before Saruman could think on the matter further, a blinding white light poured forth from the center of the stone and it began to crack. As the stone split open the light engulfed the room and the wizard was pulled helplessly towards the vortex created by the breaking Palantir.
XxX