Thank you for all the reviews - they mean a lot! I have actually now completed this story- it made me feel surprisingly sad to do so! That means I can tell you on authority that there are 11 chapters - 2 more after this one, so start counting down folks!

It's a bit early to be asking, as this one still isn't fully posted, but I'm thinking of starting another story which obviously I would start posting once back from my holiday (the beginning of September) and I wondered if anyone thinks I should; if anyone would be interested in reading. I'm toying with the idea of a slightly more general story, not focusing centrally on Sara and Grissom but dealing with all the members of the team and their relationships, although it possibly would contain a little GSR. That's about as far as I've got in my planning - as you can see it's at the very early stages, but please review with comments on this story and any comments on my impending second fic!

Thanks!

Em x x

"So?" Grissom probed impatiently, unable to wait to hear of Sara's fate. He could not stand the fact that her life was in the hands of people he didn't know. Not knowing where she was in the hospital had felt worse than not knowing where she was when she had been with Philip Bowran, even though he knew his fears were, in these circumstances, much more unfounded. Yet still he tried to keep himself calm. His conversation with Catherine had highlighted to himself how irrationally he had been acting. He needed to stay calm for everyone's sake, not least Sara. "Is it good news or bad?"

"I'm afraid it's not as clear cut as that, Mr Grissom."

"But she's alive? Please tell me she's alive."

"She's alive."

"Oh, thank God," Catherine intervened. She placed a hand on Grissom's arm. "I told you, Gil – no need to jump to conclusions."

The doctor went on. "I don't want to cause you excess worry but equally I don't want to get your hopes up. If you'd like to sit down, Mr Grissom and-"

"Willows, Catherine Willows."

"-Ms Willows, and I can try to explain to you the situation."

"I want to see her," Grissom insisted.

"I'm afraid you can't see her right now. And I really feel it is imperative that you understand what is going on."

Grissom took a deep breath to try and calm his fraught nerves and glanced at Catherine, who smiled supportively. Together they took a seat, and the doctor followed suit. She smiled reassuringly at them, maintaining eye contact as she spoke, her voice sickeningly calm and friendly. Grissom recognised her techniques as those he had so frequently adopted when talking to witnesses or victim's families, but never before had he realised quite how frustrating they were at such difficult times. All the same, he listened. He couldn't afford not to.

"Ms Sidle's body suffered greatly from the morphine overdose administered to her," she began.

"But I was told she was over the worst of that," Grissom interrupted.

"I know, Mr Grissom, and we still believe that. But unfortunately the reaction to the drug masked the severity of her other injuries. As I am sure you're aware, Ms Sidle suffered greatly as a result of multiple beatings, and traumas to the head and other areas of her body. Once her body had begun to overcome the morphine it suddenly was forced to give in to other problems."

"What other problems?"

"Ms Sidle is bleeding internally as a result of beatings to her stomach."

"Oh God. Where is she now?"

"We've taken her into theatre."

Grissom jumped up again. "She's being operated on now! Why was no one consulted!"

"I'm afraid Ms Sidle has no registered next of kin. And as you are not a family member-" The doctor trailed off but then went on. "Anyway, we really had no choice. Once we successfully resuscitated Ms Sidle it became clear we had to take action there and then."

Sitting back down, Grissom sighed deeply. "This is serious, isn't it," he commented, as though the reality of the situation was just hitting him.

"I'm afraid so, Mr Grissom. But you have to remember that most people would never have got as far as Ms Sidle already has. After the number of beatings she received and then the drug overdose – well, most people would have given up long ago. The fact that she has made it this far can be nothing but encouraging. I can assure you we will do everything possible to help Ms Sidle. And I am also certain she will keep fighting. There's no way she's willing to give in – this is one young woman who really doesn't want to die just yet."

And with that the doctor stood up, shaking hands with Grissom, who was slowly digesting what he had heard, and Catherine, who thanked her quietly.

"We appreciate you taking the time to explain."

"I can assure you it's my pleasure. If there's any further news I will update you. But for now, as I said, there's nothing more you can do."

As the doctor left the room, Catherine heard a muttering behind her.

"Sorry, did you say something, Gil?"

"She's not right you know."

"What?"

"About Sara. About her not wanting to die. She did."

"What?" Catherine repeated, gazing open mouthed at Grissom's revelations.

"She told me so. 'Just let me die', she said."

"She wasn't fully conscious, Gil. She didn't know where she was."

"Exactly. She didn't know I was there. Otherwise she wouldn't have admitted it. But she was telling the truth. She wanted to die. And let's face it, who could blame her? She's been through hell, Catherine. And I never did anything to help."

"We did our best, Gil. We got to her as fast as we could."

"I don't just mean over the last few days."

"Then what do you mean?" Catherine was beginning to get frustrated with Grissom's vague comments, but tried to sound understanding, realising that he was really going through hell right now.

"She was falling apart, Catherine. Long before that. The day she got taken, when she decided to leave. I told all of you she was going, but I never told you why."

Realising some revelations were to follow, Catherine sat back into her seat.

Grissom began to explain. "She exploded in that interview with Philip Bowran."

"I know," Catherine said. "I heard about that. I assumed Sara was just having a bad day."

"I think every day was bad for her, Catherine. I told her to go home, to take some leave. But she came in the next day." Grissom seemed to grow emotional as he remembered the events which had occurred only two days ago, but now felt so distant. "I was so uncaring. She broke down. Tears and shouting and everything. Right in front of me. And I did nothing. She quit. Because of me. She was suffering, Cath. I still don't really know why, but something inside was killing her. And I was never there to listen."

Catherine still was not entirely sure of what she was hearing but she realised that reassurance was what Grissom needed.

"It's not your fault, Gil. Sara was never willing to talk. That was her way. She didn't want to confide in us."

"What if she did? But we weren't there?"

"We were always there, Gil. Or rather she was. She never went home."

"Exactly. Shouldn't we have been worried by that?"

"We were! Don't you remember? How many chats did we have about Sara? But we all knew there was nothing we could do. There's no point in beating yourself up over it, Gil. Just because we weren't there this once, does not mean we failed Sara completely. We're here aren't we? Right now we are showing Sara what she means to us. How long did you sit by her bedside?" There was no verbal reply, but Catherine unwittingly smiled at the large bags under Grissom's eyes which said more than words ever could. "We are demonstrating that we care. That Sara means something to us. So if – when," she corrected herself, "Sara gets out of theatre, we will go and sit with her and when she wakes up she will know how much we care."

Grissom smiled weakly at Catherine, more grateful for her reassurance than she would ever know.

"Oh, come here," she laughed, and pulled Grissom into a massive hug. They both needed each other's strength right now.

Eventually they pulled apart and both sat down to wait for more news. When it did come, they could not have been more relieved. Another hurdle passed. And so they did what Catherine had said they would. They sat by Sara's bedside, both ready to remind her when she woke how much she meant to them.

What's happened? Sara my love, my plans have fallen apart. How did I end up here – in a clinical hospital room? Our end was meant to come perfectly, together up to heaven. But I'm still here on earth and I so hope you are too. I would have preferred we could have gone together but if I'm still here the only thing that will keep me going is if you are alive too.

I think you are. I would know if you weren't. Our link is so strong.

And that means I have to find you. I can't move right now, but it won't be long. I don't know what we're going to do, but I have to see you again. When I do, everything will click into place. Don't you worry your pretty little face, my darling Sara. It's not over yet.