First off, yes I have returned to you all. This time I have acquired myself a new beta, Angels-Obsession, who is not afraid to yell at me to get my lazy ass working on Fall From Grace so updates should become more frequent. I highly suggest you go read some of her works in the Final Fantasy 8 section.
Next, review response time.
Angels-Obsession:
Chapter 10: Yes. Thank you for killing Heero even though I still need him alive. And sorry about him being infuriating, but he is.
Chapter 18: Yes Ma'am. And Thankies. You're not so bad yourself. Now YOU get to work!
HpDeVoTeE: Thanks. I will keep posting. And I already have then ending planned out. So just hold on, kay?
Random Reviewer: First things first. If you didn't put your name cuz you were worried I'd flame you back like I did Dark Cloud back in chapter whatever it was, don't worry. I accept your criticisms gracefully because they were well put. To be honest I suppose I could have made him a teensy bit weak, but hey.. this is an angst fic. And in response to his past making him stronger, it may be true, but only to a degree.. And we have to consider that he was only 15 during the series, which would put everything that happened to him back in his childhood. Children handle things much differently then adults and tend to be affected much worse by such events than an adult would.. Which is why I took the point of view of him being more traumatized and hurt by it than becoming stronger.
True he harboured a lot of anger and hatred from his past during the series and he used it to motivate him into fighting, but you can't be angry forever, so what happens once all that rage and contempt dissipates? You're left with regret and sorrow.. But I promise I will try to make him stronger in my next fic, okay? And I know.. my computer points these sentences out to me all the time but I have a hard time thinking of a way to fix because I don't get much sleep at night and then I don't get to work on writing until I get home from work so I'm practically a living zombie.. Though, if you have any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them.
Raven's Light: Well.. Here's the next chapter. Don't hurt me for the ending, kay? And I'm glad you feel special.
I-Heart-Manga: Yeah.. if I feel it necessary a long response shall be given. I you want I own Ground Zero as well as Episode Zero, Battlefield of Pacifists, Blind Target, Endless Waltz the Manga and DVD, and the series on DVD so if you want I could probably scan it onto my computer and email it to ya. And I know.. Trowa's a wallflower. But don't tell anyone!
Rikothedeathangel: I finally have everything sorted out. Thank you very much for your support. I hope you enjoy this long awaited chapter.
A/N/.../ - song lyrics. The song is Half Pain by the group Bana. These are the translated lyrics instead of the original Japanese ones so we all know what they mean.
Now then. Onto the fic!
Chapter 18: Half Pain
/ How far back should I have to go? Tell me. Everything is so painfully vivid. /
I sighed once as I watched Wu Fei exit the room where he and Quatre had accused me of hurting the one person I cared about most only moments before. I didn't understand. Though I suppose I couldn't blame them either. I had done a lot of terrible things in my short lifetime. Why shouldn't they be suspicious?
Sighing once more I looked out the window and decided that even though it hadn't stopped raining that I would go for a walk. I needed to be alone and think. Away from the others.
Grabbing my jacket I exited the safe house and turned down the sidewalk. The rain was cool and refreshing on my skin. Stopping to look up at the grey sky I was reminded of a poem I had heard once. It was written by a girl in the French class at one of the schools I had been operating from during the war. She had short, dark brown hair, the color of roasted chestnuts, and crystal blue eyes. She had kept to herself for the most part.
Closing my eyes I let the drops of water land on my face, as I recalled the words that she had spoken. La pluie. Sage, melancholie. Nettoyager, accepter, oublier. Tristement, paisiblement, divinement, éternellement. Mon dégagement.
Opening my eyes again I remembered the mission I had received that night.
I was to destroy a nearby missile base. It was supposed to be a quick and easy mission, but the information that the doctors had supplied me was inaccurate. There were more soldiers and mobile dolls than anticipated. The fighting was intense and quickly spread away from the base and towards the school. I soon found myself and my gundam surrounded by the pilot less suits and was reaching for the self-destruct button when an explosion rocked my gundam, sending it flying back, landing a short distance from the dorms.
Looking at the vid screen in front of me I could see students and teachers evacuating the building in a vain attempt to escape being caught in the cross fire of the battle. A bright light drew my attention back to the mobile dolls as one fired its beam cannon at me. I managed to dodge the beam fairly easily, but it hit the dorms with a powerful release of energy, decimating them.
Seconds after, the green glow of Duo's thermal scythe sliced the mobile suit in half as he joined the fray. We dispensed of the dolls as fast as we could, trying to protect what remained of the school, it's students, and its faculty, while driving the dolls back towards the base. The next morning, we were told that the death toll had been nearly 200 of the students attending, including that girl. She had had a bright future ahead of her. Duo took it hard, opting to stay in his room and refusing to speak with anyone. Including the grief counsellors that had been sent to help us remaining students cope with the tragedy.
Thinking back, Duo had also been in that class. After she had taken her seat after presenting her short piece he had told her that he felt the same way about the rain. Until now, I didn't know why.
/The truth is, we couldn't understand each other, so I left and didn't look back. /
When I awoke all I could remember was bearing my soul to Wu Fei once more, sobbing brokenly as I told him of my woes. Blinking, slightly disoriented, I noticed that I wasn't in my bed. Glancing about at my surroundings it slowly dawned on me that I was still in 'Fei's room. Sitting up I looked out the window, it was dark out, clearly nighttime, but the lightning that soon illuminated the window showed me that it was raining again. I shivered, placing my hands over my ears and clenching my eyes shut as a loud clap of thunder sounded a couple seconds later.
Silently climbing out of my friend's bed I padded over to the door. Opening it slowly, I poked my head out and looked down the dark hallway. Not seeing anyone, I slipped out the door and found my way to mine and Heero's room. Once there I curled up on the bed and let my mind wander, trying to block out the sounds of the storm raging overhead.
The first thing that entered my mind was the memory of what happened after the fight that had split Heero and me up two years ago. Sighing I drew my knees up to my chest and let the memory consume me.
Angrily I had stormed out of the house, tears tracking down my face as my cheek had already begun to bruise from when Heero had struck me. Grabbing my helmet and key I climbed on my motorcycle. As soon as the engine had roared to life I was speeding down the road trying to forget the pain that I was feeling.
The truth was I loved Heero. Unfortunately I was afraid of losing him as I had so many others, so I hid my feelings, settling for friendship instead. Thinking about that as the wind whipped my long braid around behind me, I began regretting ever having thought that Heero could be anything more than a cold, uncaring bastard. Almost as soon as that thought entered my mind I banished it. No. I couldn't think that way. I still cared for him, even if he didn't care for me.
Hours later I returned to our house under the cover of darkness. Making sure to be silent I snuck in only to realize that Heero wasn't present. Most likely Quatre had insisted on taking him out somewhere. I sighed; deciding that being silent wasn't necessary and made my way upstairs to Heero's and mine shared bedroom.
Grabbing a suitcase out of the closet I immediately started packing up my belongings, intent on leaving once again before Heero returned home. It didn't take very long as I had never owned very many things and was used to living out of a duffle bag from the wars. As soon as I had everything neatly and securely stored away in the luggage case I headed out the front door one last time, locking it behind me and leaving my key in the mailbox, where I was sure he would find it the next morning when he collected the mail.
After spending a few nights in a cheap motel under an alias I had secured myself a one-way ticket to the L3 colonies where I would begin my life anew. Little had I suspected then that 2 years later I would wind up where I was now, curled up on the bed Heero and I shared.
/Fall into a light sleep, it encompasses my very being. I never carry out my promises. So long ago, I threw away my brightness, and like the light from the morning sun, it can never return.
I continued to let my mind wander as I resumed my journey down the wet sidewalk, subconsciously memorizing landmarks. The rain falling from above had weighted down my usually unruly hair, causing it to fall in my face, obscuring bits of my vision. I sighed as I remembered how we had split up after the war had ended.
About an hour and a half after my fight with Duo I started to become worried by the fact that he still hadn't returned home. The image of the hurt look he gave rose up in my mind, unbidden, and magnified the feelings of guilt and anxiety that were writhing in the pit of my stomach like snakes. I sighed as I rose from my chair, no longer able to focus on my work, and made my way to the door, grabbing my jacket and keys. Taking one last look at the interior of our shard abode, I silently prayed I'd find the braided boy. I sighed once more before leaving to search for my missing companion, locking the door behind me.
Several hours later I returned home, feeling more anxious than when I had left, as I hadn't found my comrade. Slowly making my way towards the front door, tired from the trying to locate the violet-eyed youth, I hoped that he had had enough time to calm down and had returned home on his own. Slowly I placed my key in the lock on the doorknob and turned it, opening the door. Sighing I trudged in as I was met with silence, which meant Duo was still missing.
Suddenly I looked up, fully aware, as something about the place that the braided teen and I shared seemed off. "Duo?" I called out only to be me with silence. Tentatively I flicked on the light and took a step forward. "Duo?"
I began to explore the house, calling out my partner's name. "Duo, Are you here?" Again met with nothing I lowered my gaze. How foolish could I be to hope that he would come back so soon? I had really upset him this time. And then it dawned on me.
Raising my head I let my gaze sweep across the living room and I realized that all of Duo's belongings had disappeared. Worry growing once more in the pit of my stomach I searched the house once more, this time for any sign that Duo still lived here, but came up empty handed. Everything in the house that had ever belonged to Duo was gone. He had left me for good. Upset I called Trowa and told him that Duo was missing.
/It lies beside this cold heart, frozen. So completely mindless that it persists forever/
I decided that I would make sure my sweet death angel was still resting peacefully, then I would go meditate for a while, to clear my mind of all differing thoughts. Unfortunately enough, things didn't exactly go as planned. It would seem that they never do.
Quietly I walked down the hall towards my room. Upon reaching the door I opened it as quietly as possible and peered inside only to discover that Duo was not where I had left him... Growing worried I closed the door and began searching for him.
"Duo?" I called out softly, hoping for a reply of some sort, yet receiving none. I continued my quest until I located the once outspoken brunette sitting on the bed in the room that he and that wretch Yuy shared. Once again I vaguely wondered what that honor-less creature had done to win the affection of the beautiful being that sat on the bed, unaware of my presence.
Tentatively I knocked on the door and called out to him. "Duo?"
Duo looked up smiling slightly at me. "Yeah?"
"What are you doing in here?" I asked, coming into the room and closing the door behind me before walking over to him. "Did you have another nightmare?"
"No, just remembering." Duo scooted over making room for me to sit next to him. "Which isn't any better." He finished
"Remembering what?" I asked as I sat down in the space he had made for me. Concern filled my voice as I looked at his features, drinking in his undeniably ethereal beauty, which was tainted by an air of sadness. I would do anything to make him smile like he used to... but I was not the one he wanted to make him smile. A fact, which I fully acknowledged and was willing to accept. For his sake.
"I was just thinking about my dream, remembering how it felt... I felt like I was helpless, what if Heero really thinks those things about me? What if my dream comes true?" Duo's eyes filled with tears yet again, as he bit his lip. Seeking comfort he leaned against me.
Gently I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, in an attempt to provide him some reassurance. " It won't... I promise I won't let Yuy do anything to hurt you. If he does try, I will kill him." I swore to him as I breathed in his scent. He smelled of soft vanilla.
Duo sighed softly. He always felt safe in my arms, and was glad that someone was there for him. "Thank You." Duo buried his face against my neck closing his eyes.
We sat there quietly for a few moment before I softly asked him, "Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah." Duo answered staying where he was, not wanting to leave my comforting embrace.
"Good." I nodded, enjoying being able to hold Duo like this, and tightened my embrace on him marginally before looking down at him. "Come on. Let's get you some dinner, okay?
"Kay." Duo said looking up at me freezing when he realized that this move caused our lips to brush slightly. Without thinking he leaned forward slightly brushing our lips again.
Shocked I didn't immediately respond but soon my eyes drifted closed of their own accord as I pressed my lips against the longhaired man's, returning his gentle kiss.
Slowly, I took hold of his braid and unwrapped the elastic band that was tied around the bottom of it, unbinding his long chestnut tresses, allowing them to flow freely around his shoulders. While I gently trailed my tongue across his lips as if asking for permission to enter that soft, moist cavern.
Duo sighed letting my tongue caress the inside of his mouth. Moaning at the feel of his scalp receiving a gentle massage he placed his hands on either side of my face. Somewhere deep inside Duo loved this and I craved more, but we knew that what we were doing was wrong. He was supposed to be in love with Heero, right?
Carefully I pushed he smaller man down onto the bed, never breaking the kiss as my tongue explored his pallet, before meeting with his tongue to wrestle with it. Meanwhile my hands slowly slipped down to rest lightly on the American's hips as I rested on top of him, enjoying the taste of his mouth, like sweet sugar with just a hint of cinnamon.
Duo's hair fanned around his face like a halo. He arched his body towards the mine above his accepting the wet muscle sliding across his tongue tasting of Cummin and a hint of Terragon. Suddenly the front door slammed signaling someone has entered the house.
Unfortunately the sound of the banging door went ignored as I slid my hands under Duo's shirt, gently lifting it over his head, breaking the kiss only for a moment before our lips met once again passionately.
Duo unbuttoned my shirt, wanting to feel my heated flesh rub against his own. The brunette pulled the shirt off of my shoulders moaning into my mouth when our chests were pressed together hard nipples kissing each other eagerly.
Slowly I began to kiss my way down the American's pale, cream colored throat to his collar bone as I slid my hands down his chest to rest once more on his hips, lapping at the salty taste of his skin. Gently I grazed my teeth over the skin at the base of his neck, eliciting another moan from him.
Duo let his hand slid up my back arching into my powerful kisses moaning when his hard cock brushed the mine.
I felt a moan rumble up deep from within my throat the friction duo caused when he arched up, forcing our still clothed members to rub against each other as the bedroom door began to open revealing a rain-soaked Heero standing in the hallway.
Duo gasped and pulled away realizing what he had just done. Instantly he felt tears threaten to spill. "H-Heero I can explain."
/Numbly, I gather the remnants of my emotions, and searching for redemption, I.../
I stood there in the doorway, shocked. Before me lay Duo and Wu Fei on my bed, half naked, in the middle of what could only be described as a heated make out session. I could not believe what I was seeing.
Duo must have noticed my presence because he gasped and immediately pulled away from Wu Fei, looking to me saying in a desperate voice, " H-Heero I can explain." I felt a cold numbness sweep over me as all I said was, "Don't bother." Then I turned and walked away. At least now I understood the real reason why Wu Fei didn't want me near Duo.
/Fall into a light sleep, on a lonely night. I'm beginning to learn the designs of sorrow. The hiding away of your warm presence makes me fear the overflowing darkness./
I cried out scrambling away from Fei. I tried to run after Heero, but was stopped by a pair of strong arms. "Heero, please don't leave." I cried.
"Let him go..." Wu Fei said quietly as he held onto me, preventing me from running after the blue-eyed gundam pilot.
"I don't want to, Wu Fei why?" I asked collapsing in the Asian's arms. "Why did I let this happen?"
Wu Fei remained silent, as he continued to hold my trembling form in his arms, unable to think of anything to say that would comfort him. While I continued to cry, laying my head against Fei's neck, I closed my eyes suddenly not able to keep them open any longer.
The Asian man slowly rubbed my back in a circular motion hoping the feeling would calm me. Meanwhile he became lost in his own thoughts, thinking of how he had swore that he would back down and let the Japanese pilot have me. Suddenly the onyx-eyed man felt disgusted with himself, but he chose not to act upon the feeling, seeing as my crying in his arms required his attention.
Soon the comforting hand rubbing circles on my back and the warm chest and arms I was enveloped by lulled me to asleep.
xXxXxXxXx
As soon as the fragile looking man was asleep, Wu Fei laid him on the bed, placing the covers over top of him, and kissed him on the forehead before leaving the room. He would go find Yuy and explain to him what had happened. He had to make things right between the chestnut haired angel and Heero. And he would. For Duo's sake.
/Fall into a light sleep, it encompasses my very being. I never carry out my promises. So long ago, I threw away my brightness, and like the light from the morning sun, it can never return./
Duo woke up wrapped up in Wu Fei's warm arms and a blanket. Yawning the brunette snuggled closer to the man looking up into his face. He was startled to see that Fei was watching him. Again when he looked up it caused their faces to be inches apart. Without thought Duo leaned forward kissing the Asian tightening his embrace.
Silently Wu Fei leaned down, meeting Duo's questing lips half way, his dark onyx eyes never leaving Duo's own violet orbs as their lips pressed against each other. Duo felt Wu Fei's tongue gently swipe at his lips, in askance, as Wu Fei slowly slid his hands down the American's back to rest at the hem of his black pants.
Duo let his own hand travel up Wu Fei's chest questing to unbutton the shirt covering it. He managed to finish his task without letting their lips part for more then a second. Duo started to play around with the Asians nipples hardening them to small nubs that he would be sure to suck on later.
Wu Fei ran his hands along the waist of Duo's pants until they rested on the longhaired youth's hips before hooking his thumbs underneath the edge of the fabric, sliding them down over Duo's silk boxers. Slowly he began to trail feather soft kisses along the young man's jaw and down his pale throat to stop at his collarbone. Once there the darker haired man began to suckle the flesh, causing a small moan to escape Duo's lips.
The brunette arched forward slightly wrapping his arms around Fei's neck and rubbing their bodies together. Another moan slipped form Duo lips when the silk of his boxers caressed his aching member.
Wu Fei pulled back a couple inches to look at Duo's face, a smirk pulling at the edges of his mouth before he returned to leaving a trail of kisses down the smaller mans chest, stopping once more when he encounter a dusky pink nipple. Slowly he kissed the sensitive nub of flesh, before gently taking it between his teeth and sucking on it..
Duo let out a drawn out moan running his fingers through Wu Fei's hair and massaging the Asian's scalp. The American's hips started to grind against Fei's successfully causing friction and hot pleasure to spread and burn in the men's stomachs.
Wu Fei released the nub of flesh as he tilted his head back, his eyes sliding shuts as he moaned in pleasure. Carefully he slid his hands upwards to the waistband of Duo's boxers hooking them with his thumbs and pulled them down as he had the braided man's pants, effectively freeing Duo's member..
the smaller man sighed when the cool hair hit his heated member causing him to tingle with anticipation. Remembering Fei still had pants on Duo quickly started to discard of them not wanting to be the only one naked. When he got them unbuttoned he pulled them down along with the boxers. Fei's large cock flopped out arching toward the older man's navel. Duo licked his lips..
Wu Fei resumed trailing kisses along Duo's abdomen once more, stopping when he reached the younger man's swollen member, smirking as he took the piece of flesh in one hand and slowly lowered his lips to just cover it's tip. Still smirking the Asian man swiped his tongue along the opening at the end of duo's cock, tasting the salty precum that had begun to gather there.
Duo's hands flew to the Asian's head, and he tried not to thrust into the hot mouth. Moaning Duo ran his hands down Fei's neck squeezing. "Oooh Wu Fei"
Wu Fei chuckled, the vibration only adding to the sensations assaulting the brunette's senses.
Suddenly, Wu Fei's hand was gone and Duo's member was completely engulfed by the black-eyed man's mouth. Slowly, Wu Fei drew his head back, lightly sucking on Duo's member before releasing it, gently blowing across the top.
The American shuddered moaning loudly feeling his legs quiver even though he was lying down.
Slowly Wu Fei leaned up once more, kissing Duo on the lips as his hand wandered over to the nearby nightstand and opening the drawer grabbed a bottle of lubricant.. Keeping Duo distracted with his lips he lubed up two of his fingers and gently pressed then to duo's entrance.
Duo willingly spread his legs moaning when the finger pressed against his hole massaging the puckered skin. Duo was having a hard time deciding which direction to thrust and settled for rotating his hips instead moaning he felt like he would come soon.
Gently sliding his digits past the ring of muscle, Wu Fei began to wiggle them, slowly stretching duo's entrance.
Duo bit his lip and thrust against the fingers revelling in the feeling of the digits moving inside of him.
After a few minutes Wu Fei added a third digit, which was soon followed by a fourth.
Arching Duo let out a loud moan, bordering scream. "I'm ready, Wu Fei please..."
Nodding once Wu Fei withdrew his fingers and placed the head on his cock to duo's entrance. "You're sure about this?" He asked, concern shining in his onyx eyes as he looked at Duo, locking gazes.
Duo nodded. "Yes, please."
Nodding once more Wu Fei slowly began sliding his member inside Duo's entrance, never taking his eyes off the braided ma's face as he fully sheathed himself in that silky channel. Waiting for Duo to adjust to the size of his member the Asian remained still inside the tight heat of Duo as he leaned forward to kiss his new lover.
Duo groaned into the kiss and slid his legs around Wu Fei's waist causing the Asian's member to slide deeper and strike his prostate. Duo arched up crying out as white spots danced before his eyes.
Taking that as his cue, Wu Fei began to withdraw from the warm passage until only the head of him member remained sheathed, then he thrust himself forward once again striking that spot hidden deep inside the violet eyed youth's body.
Said youth arched yet again fisting his hands in the sheet below him. "Wu Fei, oh Wu Fei." He sighed letting his head fall sideways against the mattress, and continued to thrust up accepting the whole of Fei's cock clenching around it.
Wu Fei continued to withdraw then plunge his member back inside duo's passage, building up a steady rhythm, while unnoticed by him and Duo the bedroom door opened to reveal Heero. Suddenly a solitary gunshot rang out as Wu Fei climaxed deep within Duo's silken passage. Blood spattered across the nearby wall and duo's face.
Slowly Wu Fei's body fell backwards, withdrawing from duo, and onto the floor to lay limply in a growing pool of blood.
Duo laid there in shock once swollen member was now limp against his thigh as he stared at Wu Fei's dead and blooded body. The American choked tasting bits of blood and bone on his tongue. Trembling Duo's gaze rose to the attacker. Heero's face looked angry, but hurt was the main emotion swimming in his eyes. Tears started to fall down Duo's cheeks turning from crystal clear to pink as they cleaned the blood from his face.
"How could you?" The Japanese man asked as he lowered his gun to his side, his entire body trembling slightly as he fought back tears. " You said you loved me..."
"I do Heero, I was confused...Wu Fei has just been someone for comfort. I love you, Heero. Please..." Duo pleaded with the man sitting up on his knees. He reached for the dark haired man in front of him only to be denied.
Heero stepped back as Duo reached for him, shaking his head in disbelief. " That's a lie Duo... I though you never lied?" he replied coldly.
" Tell me the truth Duo.." The messy haired man said quietly. " Do you love him more than me? Is that why you always run from me?"
"I wasn't lying! I love you, only you. I'll always love you Heero, please believe me." The American replied desperately moving to get off the bed only to trip over the blankets.
Heero deftly caught the falling man in his arms, hugging him close for a moment, breathing in his soft vanilla scent before whispering in the braided man's ear. " I can't believe you.." With that he let go of the youth, taking another couple of steps back and away from the now desperate Duo. "I can't trust you anymore..."
Duo stared at Heero his vision blurry through the tears, "Heero, don't go please. I promise I wont cheat, you can trust me!" the brunette stepped forward, he longed for Heero to come back and hold him.
"No, Duo, I can't." Heero said softly , lowering his head so that messy chocolate bangs hid his face from view.
"Heero, please look at me." Duo whispered. "Please, don't leave..."
"I'm sorry Duo... It's for the best.." Heero replied, raising his gun to be level with Duo's head.
Duo's eyes widened and he stumbled back. "N-no Heero, please." He pleaded sobbing hysterically by now.
"I have two bullets left Duo... I'll be following shortly after... I promise.." Stated Heero calmly as he looked up at the man on question, a single tear tracking down his face.
"No.. No! Heero don't plea-" and then Duo awoke screaming just as dream Heero had pulled the trigger whispering one final apology.