Unrequited: Part Five
Fuji woke up, as he always did.
It was dark. Like it always had been, for almost as long as he could remember
But it didn't mean that he had given up. Every day he drifted off to sleep, hoping that one day, when he woke up, it would no longer be dark.
So maybe the day wasn't today. It could be tomorrow.
And so what if it was dark? As long he was by his side….
Fuji's ears perked up as he caught the sound of footsteps outside his room. On time, as usual. A buchou was never late for anything.
"Tardiness is not a trait of a good leader," he had once said, and Fuji remembered it clearly, as clearly as he remembered the back of his hand.
Fuji could feel him as he entered the room, as he faithfully had for the past three months, every day, at the same time. He felt him put his school bag beside the bed.
This was what Fuji woke up for.
Fuji felt him pull up a chair and sit next to him, as he always did. He waited with anticipation, wondering what stories he would tell him today.
"Evening, Fuji," he started, as he always did. "Eiji wanted to come today, but he's grounded because of his results, like he told you last week." A slight chuckle. "Well, as long as he's not thrown off the tennis team."
Tezuka rarely joked, and it made Fuij's heart swell with happiness.
"Anyway I've made Oishi help him with his school work. Eiji's first choice, but only after you, of course." A slight pause. "Kawamura says hello and that he'll drop by this weekend. As will the rest of the regulars, minus Eiji."
As he talked on, Fuji listened and remembered every word. He had many visits, but this was the visit he looked forward to every day. Nobody else's words mattered. Only his.
"Fuji…"
Suddenly his hand was warm. He was holding his hand. Fuji wanted to cry out. He wanted to respond. But no matter how much he willed his body to move-
"I miss you." His voice was deeper and husky with emotion. Fuji remembered his voice being that way only during one other occasion – when he had said-
"I still, and always will, love you."
I love-
"Remember that time when we were walking home and you had that crazy idea to go camping in the hills? I can't believe I went along with it, but you could make me do anything."
Deep in his throat, Fuji choked back his emotion.
"My parents nearly killed me after that, but it was worth it."
They grounded me practically for life, but for you, it was worth it too.
"Remember Echizen's thirteenth birthday bash? I was amazed the police didn't come with sirens blasting."
I wish we could go back to those days.
Fuji could feel him smile sadly.
"I wish we could do that again. More than anything I want to wake up, and go to school and wait for you on the street corner for your sister to drop you off, and walk you to school and listen to you talk….Then I'd drop you off at class, and you'd say 'Ja ne' in that way only you could pull off…"
Fuji's chest hurt when he heard the grief in his voice. We could! I'll wake up soon, Tezuka, you'll see-
"Then we'd go to tennis practice together, and walk home and sometimes have dinner…I've been waiting for you to come back to me. Why won't you wake up?"
He wasn't crying, but his voice had changed from its usual deep tones. It was strangely high pitched, as if he was trying to swallow something while speaking at the same time.
"Fuji, I know I'm breaking my promise never leave you, Fuji. But you're leaving me too. The longer I wait, it feels as if you're slowly drifting apart from me. Sometimes, it feels like you've already left me a long time ago, and I'm the one who's trying to hold on to something that isn't there. Fuji, I'm only human."
What are you-
"When I think of him and I know he's with me, I feel…stronger. It feels as if I can continue living, even without you by my side."
But I am by your side-
"Fuji, everyone's moved on with their lives. I still love you but I want to move on with mine."
Just a little longer-
"Fuji, please forgive me."
Fuji felt something warm touch his forehead. He could still feel the warmth from Tezuka's touch. But his insides were freezing over.
…..So three months was all you were willing to give me. You couldn't wait, in the end.
"Tezuka. The hospital is closing." The voice was far away, but Fuji could still hear it, and it killed him inside.
"I'm coming, Atobe." Then his hand was suddenly cold again, as Tezuka released it. "Good night, Fuji. Sleep well."
Fuji felt something warm fill his eyes.
Were you even planning to wait at all?
As he heard Tezuka leave, he suddenly realized that his cheeks were wet.
Tezuka, look behind, look at me! I'm crying, I'm still alive…
The door shut with a gentle click.
For a while, his pale cheeks shone wet with tears.
So the day I see light won't be tomorrow, after all.
Then the tears stopped flowing, and all was still.
Owari
A/N: Not particularly satisfied with it. Probably because I made too many changes until it totally became …. soap-operaish. And Tezuka probably doesn't talk that much even if he was feeling sad. But hey, "buchou's character changes on Rajipuri" so let him have a little talktime, I figure. I don't think I wanna make Tezuka some sort of mind-reader or…something.
And well, I was inspired by some lame movie I was watching, and was listening to "Ache of My Heart" as well.
Remember, the series is DISJOINTED. Each episode has no connection whatsoever with the other.
Venedy: No continuation. Nevah. It's suppose to make everyone feel really really frustrated and want to throw things at me. Nyeh nyeh.
Hikari no Yami: Yep, I'm writing. But this may be it, because no matter how much I think, I just can't get a Seiru plot to start moving.
Bloodblade: Yep. Your, umm, TezuFuji? Does this count?
No other questions, so I'd just like to thank Risa-chan, Royale, and Aeolus the Soul Hunter for reviewing the previous chapter. (I thought replying to everyone might piss off. I don't know. Just..scared.)
Lastly, thanks Kaia for reviewing Promises, and the Dark!