CHAPTER SIX

You're the little boy made for me in the stars

That's why I can't let you go

The little boy made for me in the stars

That's why I love you more the further I go

And before this existence you were always there waiting for me

You are the realest thing I know

Childhood Dreams, Nelly Furtado

Padme slept a great deal for the first couple of weeks on the Command Ship, recovering from her head injury. When she was awake, Anakin made sure he was always there.

"When Darth Sidious told me you were dead, they had to sedate me for months," he said in his unnatural monotone early on.

Padme lifted her head and stared at him. What in hell had he done to make it necessary to sedate him? "Why?" she asked gently.

"If I wasn't sedated, I would destroy everything around me using the Force," he replied.

Padme's lips parted in shock. How was such a thing even possible?

"I couldn't bear it, Padme," he said, his teeth gritted behind the mask. "It was the one thing, the only thing, that I couldn't bear to happen and it did. Or so I thought."

Padme was silent. She couldn't say she regretted hiding from him and the Dark Side because she didn't.

"I wanted to die too," he stated bluntly. "Then I realized one day that you were still alive after all," he added.

"I remember," she whispered. She'd never forget the first time Anakin had crashed into her consciousness all that time after she had last seen him.

"I knew that no matter what our differences were, we would have to find a way to live with them. I can't live without you Padme, it's as simple as that," he said.

"It's not that simple, Anakin. It's not simple at all," she replied and then closed her eyes again. She still felt too weak to deal with Anakin at that point. He has a hovering, unfamiliar, black shadow and he seemed to watch her constantly and with great intensity. It was exhausting and unnerving. Tension emanated from him in waves whenever he was with her, as though he was always tightly suppressing something. In his stillness, he betrayed enormous agitation but Padme couldn't put her finger on why that would be so.

- - -

As Padme got stronger, Anakin would tell her about other parts of the Galaxy that he had seen in the past year. He did not tell her about Darth Sidious' plans for the Empire in case Padme ever carried that information back to the Rebel Alliance. Regardless of how he felt about her, he held no illusions as to her loyalties.

Padme found it hard to be with Anakin. On one hand, he felt so familiar and comfortable. Her Anakin was still there. On the other hand, not only did he look and sound like another creature entirely but she could no longer find any common ground with him. Every topic of conversation was dangerous. They could not talk about their mutual friends because Anakin had killed so many of them in the Clone War and the attack on the Jedi Temple. Padme was afraid she would scream at him and cry until she was exhausted if even one of their names was mentioned, and what good would that do? They could not talk about politics because they disagreed profoundly on fundamental principles. They could not discuss their plans because both had to keep their knowledge hidden from the other – they could not trust each other. The past involved those gone and betrayed, and both had a different view of their future. Anakin saw his future in the Empire with Padme at his side. Padme saw the only future worth having as being away from the Dark Side and the Empire, and inevitably - away from Anakin too.

Anakin seemed to ask nothing more than to just be with Padme although he was always so tense. His energies were taken up with establishing his new Empire and so while she was there, he was not restless. Padme was unbearably restless. She had to watch every word she said constantly, her movements were restricted and she had little to do other than dress in the exquisite clothing that Anakin had brought to her in vast quantities. She was bored and felt useless. She was not made for a life of leisure and luxury. She had been a warrior, a Queen and a Senator. She was used to an active and constructive life. Here, she felt wasted and frustrated. She also felt like a pawn to the Dark Side which also made her angry and ashamed. She wanted nothing to do with Darth Sidious' plans even from the sidelines.

For all the strong emotions Anakin had displayed since she landed on the Command Ship, he was oddly distant physically. She knew he could not breathe without a pressurized suit or room but even in their apartments, he did not unmask himself. She had no idea what he looked like anymore under all that metal and circuitry. He seemed hesitant to touch her which Padme found strange. He had always been very tactile. She became very curious as to what was under that dark suit but her wildest imagination could not have prepared her for the truth. In a way, she was almost relieved. She had missed touching Anakin for the past year but doing so now could only complicate the simple fact that she had to get away if she was ever to be able to lead her own life again. She did not want to be her husband's prisoner.

Approximately a month after Padme had been brought to the Command Ship, an odd event occurred. Padme was in her rooms when the power for the entire Ship seemed to go out. This was an event that was supposed to be impossible. On these ships, there were so many back up generators that power should never go out for more than a second or two. 'Only a Jedi…' Padme began to think and then immediately knew she had to act. All the security would be down. If she was to ever get out of her suite, now was the time.

She ran in the direction of the far door. It was one that Anakin had never used because it led away from the bridge of the Ship. It was pitch dark, so she felt for the base of the door and heaved it up. It was heavy but fortunately ran on well-oiled bearings so that it was easy to lift. Once out in the corridor, she noticed a feint green light in the distance. She could see just enough to know it was a droid carrying a battery light. She felt along the wall until she came to a doorway. Hiding just inside, she waited until the droid was level with her. She held out her foot and tripped it. It was not a very intelligent droid and Padme was able to disarm it, shoot it and take the light before it had a chance to scramble to its feet.

Padme knew she had to make her way to the flight deck. Obi Wan and Yoda would have left the ship there. She quickly assessed from her current position (in the aft of the Ship, judging by where the engines were located - she had seen them from her suite windows) that she would need to travel towards the engines. The flight deck was always located centrally and on the underbelly of ships like these.

She ran in the correct direction for a full five minutes. She did not encounter anyone. She knew they would all have been called to the power stations to restore supplies. Without power, the Ship was helpless. Restoring it would be their first priority.

Once Padme had judged (from the curvature of the corridors) that she had gone far enough, she knew she had to get lower down in the Ship. The elevators were not working. Padme bit her lip. She wasn't sure what to do next.

Suddenly she heard footsteps and she raised her weapon and fired at the figure. The blast was deflected easily by a light sabre and Padme saw with relief that it was Obi Wan.

"Padme, don't worry about getting to the flight deck. I have a transport waiting at one of the portals," he called as he ran over to her. "Are you alright?" he asked, his kind face looking worried.

"I'm fine, Obi Wan. Let's just get out of here!" she said.

They ran in the direction of one of the main portals further down the corridor. Padme could see Bail Organa in the driver's seat. His face was tense but determined as he watched them approach. Suddenly he looked with alarm just behind them but Obi Wan was faster. He turned on his heel in an instant and deflected Darth Vader's blow.

Padme screamed, "No! Stop it!"

The two men, once Master and Padawan, exchanged blows so quickly that Padme couldn't follow it. The elegant and deadly buzz of the light sabres sounded continually in the air. Suddenly from the portal, a small figure leapt with incredible agility into the corridor.

Padme would have been entranced with Yoda's incredible skill if that skill wasn't currently threatening Anakin. Somehow, he was able to hold off both Obi Wan and Yoda together but he wasn't gaining ground either. Slowly, Obi Wan and Yoda drove Darth Vader further back along the corridor giving Padme room to get through the portal. "Get in Padme!" Obi Wan called.

"No!" Darth Vader roared, doubling his blows with the light sabre.

"Go now, Padme!" Yoda commanded.

Nobody disobeyed Yoda. With tears running down her face, Padme ran to the portal and jumped through into the waiting transport. She couldn't bear the thought of anybody getting hurt… or worse. Her heart was pounding with fear that Yoda and Obi Wan would overwhelm Anakin. They wouldn't kill him, surely? She shivered with dread.

Slowly Yoda and Obi Wan allowed Darth Vader to drive them back towards the portal. With a deft leap, Yoda jumped into the transport with Padme. Anxiously, Padme watched Obi Wan defend himself against Darth Vader's blows. Whoever this creature was, it was definitely 'Darth Vader' and not her Anakin. Darth Vader was merciless, and filled with rage and menace. She didn't recognize him. She didn't want to.

Yoda suddenly leaned out of the transport and with a deliberate flick of his wrist, sent Darth Vader flying against a wall. As Obi Wan leapt into the transport, he threw something into the corridor behind him.

Padme turned her head and saw that Obi Wan had thrown a poison bomb into the corridor. If that thing went off, it would kill Anakin immediately. There was only one way to disarm a poison bomb. Pulling out the weapon she had taken from the droid, she quickly shot the small bomb to pieces. Fire destroyed the gas and rendered it harmless.

She let out her breath slowly as the transport took off. Just before it did, she could hear Anakin screaming behind her in his deep, mechanical voice, "No! Padme!"

She turned away. She didn't want anyone to see her face. Although she had desperately wanted to get away, she was rendered breathless but how hard it had been to walk away from him at the end. It had been a terrible, awful wrench. In some ways, it had been worse than Mustafar.

"If you had left that bomb alone, it would have solved so many problems Padme," Obi Wan said in his well-bred accent. He was not pleased, Padme could tell.

"If you want to kill Anakin, you will have to do it when I'm not there," Padme said and Obi Wan knew from the tone of her voice that she meant it.

"I will be happy to oblige you," Obi Wan said.

"Thank you for rescuing me. I know what you risked to do so," Padme said quietly, looking at her friends with full eyes.

"Reluctant to leave him, you seemed," Yoda observed.

"I wanted to leave but it was still hard. I don't know why," she explained with a sigh. "I'm relieved to be gone from there but… I don't know…" She shook her head, unable to express the emotion.

"Tied to him, your heart still is. More about your heart it says than Darth Vader's worthiness of it," Yoda said wisely.

Padme smiled at him. Yoda always put things in perspective and calmed her down.

- -

Darth Vader knew immediately the power went off in the Ship that only a Jedi could have planned the attack. He issued orders to his men to get the power working and then ran towards Padme's suite. If he knew Padme (and he did), it would have taken her two seconds to realize that with the power out, she was no longer restricted to her rooms – at least for the time being. If she was going to run away, now was the time she would do it. With Jedi scum on the Ship, there was every chance she would succeed.

He heaved open the heavy main door and ran a battery light quickly over the rooms. Sure enough, she was not there and the end door was open. He saw the burnt out droid lying in the corridor and figured he was on the right track.

He tried to tune in to her emotions but all he felt was a sense of urgency. Her mind shields were, as usual, well in place.

He caught up with her near a main portal with Obi Wan. Red washed over his vision. Here was Obi Wan interfering in his relationship with Padme again. The anger he had felt at Mustafar came back to him ten fold. He would kill Obi Wan this time.

Obi Wan was still as skilled as he ever had been. When Yoda joined the fight, he was at a disadvantage. He could hold them off but that was all. With a sense of despair, he watched Padme run to the portal and jump through. He must not let them leave!

He fought with every ounce of strength he had with the Force but it was no good. Two Jedi Masters were still too much for a single Sith. All of them got away in the end. Obi Wan kept him distracted with the light sabre while Yoda attacked him with a blast of the Force. He didn't stand a chance against an onslaught like that.

As he recovered from the bang on his head (he was grateful for his metal helmet for once) he noticed the poison bomb but just as he saw it, it went up in flames. He looked up to see Padme holding the gun. She had saved his life and deliberately thwarted Obi Wan's plans.

But it was no good because she was taking off in the transport regardless. He bellowed after her but she did not turn around again. He radioed to the flight deck to bring a transport up to the portal so that he could follow them. If their power had been on, he could have launched a whole fleet but all they had that was working were the small transports.

The small ship appeared outside the portal in seconds and Darth Vader leapt agilely into the driver's seat. Vader circled the Command Ship hoping to sight them but he already knew he was too late. By the time the transport had arrived, they would have had time to hyperjump into a different part of the Galaxy.

And he had no idea where that might be.

Cursing, he hit the control panel and brought the transport back to the Command Ship just as the power came back on.

- -

Anakin lay in his suite of rooms that night, heavily sedated once more. The men had reported to Darth Sidious that he had been raging and storming again, and it was causing violent destruction to the Command Ship and its ability to function. Repair crews had to be on constant stand-by. Darth Sidious had ordered the sedatives until he could get back to the Command Ship to see to his apprentice.

"What has been happening?" Darth Sidious asked the General.

"We had a power outage for half an hour or so just before he… he started behaving like this," the General said. "Apart from that, I don't know."

Anakin had hidden Padme from everyone else on the Ship so effectively that not even his General knew she had been there or that she had escaped.

As Anakin lay in a drugged haze on his bed, he contemplated his short time with Padme. He had gotten everything all wrong. He should have known that whatever had made her hide from him after Mustafar would make her run away again. He should have at least put a tracking device on her – one she couldn't remove. He should also have made if physically impossible for her to leave the rooms even in the event of a power failure. A simple slave device would have accomplished that. He hadn't wanted to do that to her but now he had lost her again. It would have been a simple precaution that would have saved him this torment.

He also needed to do something about his appearance. He knew he looked totally foreign to her now. Perhaps if he could appear more human to her again even just in the privacy of their rooms, it would help. She may not view him as a monster if he didn't look and sound like one all the time.

He had options. There was painful surgery he could have to graft new skin and get rid of his scars. He could even grow skin over his mechanical arms and legs. It would mean having surgery whenever he needed maintenance done on his limbs but it was a small price to pay to look human again to Padme. He could have new hair implanted on his head and face, and wear contacts to cover his damaged eyes.

Well, he supposed he had time to do all of that. It had taken him a year to find her the first time. This time, the Jedi would have her even more closely protected. It may take even longer to get her back. If so, he would have enough time to work the transformation.

One thing he did know for sure, he would find her again and this time she would not get away regardless of how many Jedi came to her rescue.

- -

Obi Wan glanced over at Padme. "Are you alright, Padme?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, I'm fine. I got hurt in the accident in the asteroid belt, other than that I'm okay," she said with a brief, strained smile.

"He didn't use mind probes or anything like that, did he?" Obi Wan asked gently, almost wincing when he mentioned the mind probes.

"No," Padme said, her voice reflecting her own surprise. "He did nothing to hurt me, none of the things anyone expected him to do."

"Except keep you a prisoner," Obi Wan said wryly.

"Except that," Padme agreed. "I don't understand why. All he did was hang around and watch me a lot. He didn't even talk a great deal. I'm not sure what his purpose was," she admitted.

"Your husband, he is," Master Yoda said. "With him, he wanted you to be. No more, no less. Mystery there is not. That he did not hurt you to gain his own ends, grateful I am. A good sign, that is. Something of Anakin left, perhaps there is. Who knows? For sure I do know, find you again he will," Yoda concluded certainly.

"Then we will rescue Padme again," Obi Wan said with a kind smile at Padme.

"I think not. Learn from his mistakes, Darth Vader will. Make them again, he will not. An impossibility to rescue Padme again, I greatly fear," Yoda said astutely.

- -

Darth Vader eventually calmed down enough to not be an inadvertent destructive force wherever he went. He was able to control his emotions more quickly this time, knowing she was alive. He did not want to be forced to be under sedation too long. The longer he was sedated, the longer it would be before he could act to find Padme again.

He avoided Darth Sidious' questions about his loss of control putting it down to on-going problems with the engineers on the Death Star and his frustration over not making progress quickly enough. Darth Sidious was satisfied with the answer because it pleased him and also because his mind was still on another project in a system on the other side of the Galaxy.

Once Darth Vader seemed to be functioning fully again, Darth Sidious went back to his projects and Darth Vader began putting his plans into place.

In the first instance, he reorganized his system of contacts, bounty hunters and spies to begin the search again. After the reward given out when Padme was captured the first time, his network was eager to have a second chance.

Secondly, he sought out the most highly skilled surgeons and medical droids to begin his physical transformation. He knew he would never look the way he once did but to have smooth skin, hair and unreddened eyes was enough to begin with.

Within three months of Padme's rescue, he was ready to undertake the long and painful process. It would take many operations over a long time and patience to allow the healing of tissue each time. Skin would be grown artificially and then grafted over the burns. It would also slowly be grown over the artificial limbs, giving the blood supply a chance to develop with it. Hair would have to be implanted strand by strand, patch by patch into the new skin. For this reason, the specialists decided to do his head and face first.

- -

Inevitably, Yoda ordered Padme back to the Dagobah system. Nobody knew Yoda lived there and thus, nobody suspected Padme would hide there particularly in such an inhospitable environment. It also meant that Yoda was present in case anybody did happen upon Padme and try to abduct her.

Padme used the next six months to finish some more units of the Rebel Alliance training modules and also to practice the military skills she had learnt as a young girl. Her days were peaceful but she couldn't shake a feeling of waiting and of inevitability. With the threat of Anakin finding her always shadowing her thoughts, she found it difficult to invest too much into the present or make plans for the future.