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Pretending to be absorbed in a Monnoran newspaper, Daniel managed to keep his teammates at bay until it was time for them to meet at the town hall. Jack watched him without actually watching him, noticing the younger man's strained expression. Yep, something was definitely up.
"Okay, campers, time to go." He snatched Daniel's newspaper, eliciting a partially concealed expletive.
"Now, now. It's time to go to work, and I don't mean with a book or a newspaper." With a smile he ruffled Daniel's hair and sauntered outside.
The team walked in silence, but just as they entered the building, Jack felt himself suddenly pulled aside as Sam and Teal'c continued on.
"Daniel?"
"Jack, I can't go in there!"
Jack eyed Daniel, taking in the panicky expression. "Why not? Suddenly shy?"
"I—I can't say why, but I just can't!"
"Oh, for cryin' out loud, Daniel, will you just spill it? What's going—" He broke off, watching Daniel with curiosity. The younger man had suddenly bent over, his eyes squeezed shut and his arms folded tightly across himself. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Daniel shuddered, groaned, then slowly straightened. His face was red and his breaths came in pants. "Gimme a minute," he said, his voice a strained whisper. He groaned again and turned to the wall, his body hunched and shaking. "Can't you go on ahead?" he asked, a certain desperation in his words.
"Why?" Jack asked. He stepped closer to Daniel, then touched his shoulder.
"Don't!" Daniel nearly shouted. "Don't touch me! Not now!"
"What's wrong? Daniel?"
"A minute!" Daniel seemed to be trying to merge with the wall as his breathing grew faster. "Please go away!" he whined through gritted teeth.
"Not happening," Jack replied, his concern rapidly transforming into impatience. What on earth was going on with Daniel? And why couldn't he just say what was wrong?
"Ooohhhh…" Daniel's shoulders shook, while one hand slapped the wall. O'Neill folded his arms and waited.
Finally, slowly and only after wiping his face with both hands, Daniel turned back toward Jack. "Why didn't you go away?" he complained.
Jack heaved a sigh of one who is forced to endlessly endure maddening events. "Are we ready to tell what's going on, Daniel?" he asked with pained patience.
Daniel wrapped his arms around himself. "I wish I didn't have to."
"Are you in pain?"
"No, no pain. Definitely not pain." Daniel chuckled, a desperate attempt at levity. "I don't know exactly what's going on with me, but it's very strange."
Jack stood back, studying his young friend. "Well, if you're not in pain, what's wrong?"
Daniel glanced around, ascertaining their isolation. "You've got to promise to keep this to yourself. I mean, you can't tell anyone!"
He waited until Jack raised his hands. "Okay! I promise! Just tell me what's going on with you."
"Ever since I drank that drink, that juja or whatever it's called, I've been having some strange symptoms." Daniel ducked his head, avoiding Jack's impatient expression. "Very strange symptoms."
"Such as…?" Jack prompted, waving his hand. There were times that Daniel aggravated the daylights out of him.
"Well…" Daniel fidgeted, working his hands into a knot. "It's definitely…sexual."
Jack fought his grin. "Oh, so that local Viagra worked after all?"
Daniel glared at him. "You're not helping."
"Sorry. So continue. I'm dying to know how this ends. Oh, wait a minute. I know how it ends." He raised one eyebrow. "Or at least I think I know how it ends."
"You are so…" Daniel sighed. "Never mind. What happens is that I have all the sensations of—of a—you know—sex. But I don't have any physical symptoms. It's all in my head."
Jack tried to stifle his laughter, but lost. "Only you. So you're having sex in your head." His gaze unconsciously moved down. "No physical symptoms, huh?"
"No! Stop looking!" Daniel petulantly folded his arms. "So what am I gonna do? I can't control it, and I don't know when it's gonna happen."
"So…what I witnessed a minute ago…was…"
"Just never mind! This is difficult enough as it is. But what am I gonna do? What if it comes during the meeting?"
Jack winced. "Unfortunate choice of words there, Danny Boy. But as far as the meeting, I guess you'll just have to hide it until the meeting's over."
"Hide it! Jack—"
The colonel shrugged. "I don't know what else we can do. You need to be in on the meeting, so just grin and bear it." He started to return to the hall, then stopped long enough to take a final dig at the unfortunate archeologist. "Good thing you're not a screamer."
"Jaaaack!"
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