Harry Potter and the Finding of Power

by MidnightPhoenixx

Harry Potter's 6th year is unlike anyone ever thought. Harry deals with relationships and his destiny as he unlocks the power within himself.

9. Chapter 9

A/N: Hey everyone, a lot of you are saying that Harry is too powerful too quickly. I'll go over the biggest things that you've all pointed out: Why was Harry able to master the animagus transformation in only 4 weeks? Because every night for something like 12 hours that's all he was doing. I mean while he was being tortured, he spent about 3 or 4 hours a day being tortured, another 4 or 5 sleeping or passed out, that leaves 15 to 17 hours that he has to learn the animagus transformations. It took James and Sirius and everyone else years to learn because they probably weren't learning it as though their life depended on it! The other thing is that Harry learned how to perfectly manipulate his own body in the dungeon. When Harry does any bit of magic that affects his body, it requires way less magic than a normal wizard would have to use, that's why he can turn himself invisible. But it's hardly the monumental killing power that you all seem to think it is. I mean, what's Harry going to do? Turn invisible and knife every death eater and Voldemort in the back? No way! Harry has some power, yes, enough to beat the average D.E. because they suck ass, but not nearly enough to stand against Voldemort, and he knows this. I hate the fics, where Harry is obviously way more powerful than Voldemort, but Voldemort always manages to escape or something totally gay like that to keep the story running longer. Right now, Harry can give Voldemort a hell of duel, but without an act of God, Voldemort would still win the day. That's what Harry needs to train for. To give a synopsis of power levels, Harry is not more powerful than Voldemort. And he is only slightly more powerful than Dumbledore (but only because Dumbledore is like a 150 years old; but what the old man lacks in raw power he more than makes up for with 150 years of fuckin experience!). The romance with Cho will, I guarantee you, be nothing like the story book fantasy that I made it seem like it was going to be. And that's the point! I'm trying to show you all that Harry and Cho SHOULD have had a wonderful, perfect life together, but then all this shit happens and now neither of them knows what the fuck they want and what's going to happen. Don't you just love drama? As for the whole, showing Ron and Hermione in the halls . . . come on, I was trying to have a bit of fun! I mean, I can say with experience that having your girlfriend give you a grin with a glint in her eye right before she jumps you, is a fucking fantastic thing! I was just trying to show that, despite their powers and their problems, in the end all these people are 16 or 17 years old, and sometimes they just need to act like it. Alright, I've talked for a long time now, something that I really did not want to ever do, but I was really getting sick of people asking the same questions. I love reading reviews,but please, give me the benefit of the doubt that I'm not some moron writer, I actually do have a reason for everything being the way it is. By all means, express your concerns about the story, but understand that I've tried to anticipate what you would all be thinking at this point (it's not toodifferent than what I had initially anticipated) and I'm going to answer questions, and solve dilemmas later in the story, when it become appropriate. Enjoy the chapter, (it's something like 14,000 words!). Cheers - Midnight

Chapter 9

The world was a blur. Landscapes beneath were little more than iridescent colors, the stars above stretched into streaks so bright they were almost blinding. There was only the sound of the wind rushing at impossible speeds all around him. And yet despite flying faster than any human eye could possibly follow, Harry could not escape.

The swirl of emotions within him was so great that Harry could not even begin to describe how he felt.

He felt infinitely more than upset or angry.

The betrayal he felt was so intense he felt as though his soul had been stolen.

And the pain, sadness, and confusion just made everything so much more . . . impossible. For impossible was the only description for Harry. He was sure he was being driven insane. What he was feeling could only be described as the epitome of despair.

Cho had taken nearly two goddamn years to get over Cedric, and now barely two months after he "died" she was in the arms or another guy? WHAT THE FUCK? Had all his friends moved on? Was he so easily forgotten about? Were they all glad now that he was no longer there, constantly putting them in danger? Feeling safe now that weren't going to end up like Sirius or Cedric? No longer afraid that they would be used to get him?

Well if that's the fucking case, then they don't fucking deserve me! Voldemort can fucking kill them all and shit on their bodies for all I care! As soon as Harry thought that he immediately regretted it. He knew that his friends were good people and if anyone didn't deserve friendship it was him. Even though he knew it wasn't his fault that Voldemort was after him because of that goddamn prophecy, he couldn't bear the guilt of knowing that someone else close to him had died because of it. Better the world think him dead and his friends safe, than him being with them, putting them in danger. They deserved better than that. They deserve better than a curse like Harry Potter.

He had to get away.

He had to be gone.

Every tendon in his back and wings burned from the punishment he was putting himself through. Faster. Harder. There was no speed that was fast enough. Harry was flying so fast the air around him was actually heating up.

The muscles of the phoenix cried out in agony as they were worked so hard that they actually began to split the skin they were under. And finally he could take no more. The muscles in his wings completely seized up and suddenly, Harry was several hundred feet off the ground in a body that could no longer sustain flight.

But as Harry began to plummet to the ground he couldn't even bring himself to worry. The ground rushing at him ever more quickly meant absolutely nothing to him. Down he fell, faster and faster.

Until in one moment Harry finally understood.

Happiness, comfort, love, these were all things that Harry Potter was not meant to have. It was not his purpose. His purpose was to kill. Once Harry killed Voldemort, there was nothing left to live for. Everyone else would have something to live for, everyone else could be happy and live normal loved-filled lives.

But not him.

Was it even worth it?

Did he even care anymore?

Why should he fight and kill for something that he can never have? Does everyone else in this fucked up world deserve this from him? Why not simply let it end right now?

Because it was the right thing to do? HA! Fuck that! The right fucking thing to do? No, Harry could not give any less of a damn what the right thing was any longer.

But there was something else.

While fate might be a horrible bitch goddess, Harry had at least someone on whom he could vent his fury and rage. Voldemort. That fucking maniac of a monster that killed his parents and made his life a living-fucking-hell.

Screw everyone else on this miserable ball of dirt and shit, all Harry wanted to do was kill that goddamn bastard who stole everything he could have ever wanted in his life. If Harry could kill fate for making it his destiny to be nothing more than a weapon he certainly would have without a second thought. But since such thoughts are little more than whims and fantasy, Harry would have to settle for the next best thing, Voldemort.

And in that instance, Harry renewed the vow he made at the beginning of the summer to not rest until Voldemort lay dead. Except this time he held no illusion that once dead, he might have a chance at a normal life.

For it does not do well to dwell on mere fantasy.

Mere moments before crashing into the street, Harry transformed back to his human form, and with the speed of thought, cast a physical protection spell on himself.

CRASH!

The magnitude of the impact when Harry hit the ground was roughly that of a small meteor. Harry tore through the concrete of the street and down into the sewer below. The blast broke every car's windows nearby. Bits of concrete and debris flew in all directions as though a bomb had been detonated.

Harry was dazed only for a moment before gathering his wits about him. Not wanting to have to deal with muggles and their extremely annoying questions, Harry recast the invisibility spell on himself just as he had done in Hogsmeade. Harry jumped out of the crater in the middle of the street, aided by his magic, and ran away from the growing scene he had just made.

Go figure that Harry just had to land in a street in downtown London. Harry discovered his whereabouts when he heard a clock tower chiming the hour, only the find that the aforementioned clock tower was none other than Big Ben.

Harry quickly ducked into a dark alley and made sure it was deserted before removing the invisibility spell. Looking at his clothes Harry saw that they were practically hanging off him in tatters. With yet another quick thought Harry instantly repaired his clothes. But Harry had to suppress urge to shudder.

It was cold. Harry briefly thought about conjuring himself a jacket. But decided that would be too much trouble. It would be far easier to transfigure something. Harry looked around on the ground for something suitable to transfigure into a jacket when his eye caught something across the street.

In the front window of a shop was a black leather jacket that Harry simply couldn't help but think of as totally cool. In an instant, Harry decided that transfiguring a jacket was also too much trouble. Instead he simply walked across the street and without any preamble or warning simply punched through the glass, and grabbed the jacket. He swung it on as he walked away leaving a security alarm ringing into the night, and several muggles gawking at what he had just done.

Harry walked swiftly through the city. He knew neither where he was nor where he was going, but he couldn't be bothered to care one bit. All he knew is that he wanted to not feel. And the only methods to escape one's own emotions that Harry knew of involved either drinking mass quantities of alcohol, or the use of very dangerous and damaging drugs.

Since Harry really didn't feel like finding some kind of drug dealer with something that could be pure poison he decided that the alcohol would be the solution. Oddly enough the first pub he ran into seemed to be more of a dance club, complete with velvet ropes, bouncers, and line that looked about an hour long.

Not wanting to wait in line, nor desiring to find some other place to get trashed, Harry strode right up the front of the line and made to walk straight into the club. The bouncers did not seem so keen on this.

"Oy! Get back in line!" one of the bouncers said grabbing Harry by the shoulder and pulling him back.

"Hey, he wasn't even in line! I'm next in line!" a particularly shrill girl whined to the bouncer.

"He's a line jumper, toss him the street!" the bouncer said to the one holding Harry.

Before the bouncer could even think about doing that, Harry grabbed the hand on his shoulder and spinning around he twisted the bouncer's arm in a way that any additional pressure would break the bone.

"It's not worth you having a broken arm and lot of pain. If you let me go in right now, no questions, I promise you will not have to spend several hours in a hospital tonight," Harry said in little more than a growl.

"You let him go right now!" the other bouncer said moving closer to where Harry was holding the first bouncer.

"I don't give second chances. Don't think for a moment that I won't hesitate to send you both to the hospital tonight. I am not some guy you want to fuck with right now!" As Harry said that he squeezed the bouncers arm eliciting a pained yelp from the man.

The second bouncer stopped in his tracks and hesitated before saying, "Is it really worth all this trouble just to get in to a club quickly?"

Harry didn't hesitate as he said, "Absolutely not, but you have to understand that I couldn't care any less what happens to either of you. The question you need to ask yourself, is it worth risking your life just to make me wait in line?"

The bouncer didn't respond right away and in an instant Harry knew that he had won. He let go of the bouncer's arm and threw him to the ground in front of the other bouncer. And without a second glance at either of them he went through the door and into the club. Just as he entered he heard the first bouncer say, "Are you just going to let him walk through?"

And the second bouncer reply with, "By all means try and stop him again, it's not worth it to me."

Under any other circumstances Harry would have been impressed with the club. It was very well designed with state of the art lights flashing everywhere, loud music blaring, and large dance floor filled with people moving to the rhythm of the music. But Harry had no time for such shit, he just went straight for the bar. On the way he noticed the wallet sticking out the back pocket of a guy who looked like he had drank one or two or ten too many, and without any remorse or second thoughts, grabbed the wallet and tucked it into his jacket pocket.

Harry sat in the nearest open barstool and waited for a bartender to come to him. He really had no idea what the hell he was doing. Hell, he didn't even know what kind of drink he was going to get. There was obviously no chance of getting butterbeer, or firewhiskey, which were pretty much the only alcoholic drinks he knew of. But of course, even if they did serve butterbeer it was unlikely that he could consume enough of it to get as drunk as he hoped to be.

Harry once overheard from the television that when people wanted to forget their problems they often turned to alcohol as a quick solution. It was some kind of documentary on alcoholism that Petunia was watching, and Harry didn't remember much from it except that alcohol in mass quantities altered perception enough that painful emotions were alleviated, if only for a small amount of time.

Harry was so consumed in his thoughts about why exactly he was here that he almost missed it when a bartender asked him what he wanted. Harry, having no idea at what exactly he wanted responded in the only way that seemed intelligent to him at the moment. "Anything that has more alcohol than it really should," perhaps not the smoothest ever, but the bartender definitely got the idea. Speaking of which, Harry couldn't help but be quite pleased with the bartender that was serving him. She was about an inch shorter than he was with shoulder length blonde hair that was mostly pulled back but a few well placed strands cascaded down, framing her face. Actually, now that Harry was finally paying attention, he realized she was absolutely gorgeous.

She pulled out a shot glass and a bottle of clear liquid that Harry read to be vodka. Oh yeah, Harry thought, Dudley and his gang used to get trashed off cheap Vodka. Harry wondered at the irony of the situation for a moment, here he was about to engage in the exact same kind of behavior as Dudley, and yet the two claimed to be nothing like the other. Of course, Harry simply killed the thought by telling himself that he actually had real reasons to get drunk, not like Dudley who did so simply to look cool.

Taking the freshly poured shot, he lifted the glass into the air and said, "Cheers," to the bartender before slamming it back. The vodka burned down his throat and Harry had to suppress the urge to cough. Knowing that even with his relatively non-existent drinking experience that it would take far more than a single shot to get him wasted he asked for a refill.

The pretty bartender gave Harry a small smile and poured another shot, which Harry took immediately and then followed up with two more in quick succession. Harry felt that he should slow down a bit, the fourth shot made something in him feel slightly sick, and he had no desire to throw up . . . especially not with the amazingly pretty bartender right in front of him.

"Is it always this busy here?" Harry asked the bartender. He had to yell to make himself heard over the blaring music.

"Only on the weekends, but tonight is more crowded than usual," she responded.

"What's your name?" Harry asked.

"Natalie," she said back.

"Pleasure to meet you, I'm Harry, by the way." Harry might have been imagining it, but he could've sworn that she was checking him out . . . no that's not possible, Harry thought, wait, yes she is! There was no mistaking the way she let her eyes travel the lengths of his body. "How long have you been working here?" Harry asked her.

"About two years. I only work here to pay the bills, I attend University not far from here. What about you, do you go to school anywhere near here?"

"Actually I attend a boarding school pretty far away from here. But I really hate it there so I left. I'm not sure if I'll ever go back, but I sure as hell won't be going anytime soon," Harry said trying to think of a way to turn the conversation away from his past.

Fortunately, Natalie did that for him, "So then where are you staying? Do you have family here or something? Friends?"

Good question, Harry thought. "I really don't know. Haven't given it much thought. I'll probably just end up in a hotel for awhile or something." Harry was definitely starting to feel the alcohol taking effect, he wasn't entirely sure what was going to happen but he definitely felt far more relaxed then he did a few moments ago. "How about another drink?"

Natalie smiled and retrieved another bottle from below the counter this time with a dark liquid in it. As she poured the shot, Harry tried to read the bottle but found that it was all in Spanish. "What is that?" Harry asked.

"Tequila, just let me get you some salt and –" but she didn't finish as Harry took the shot as he had all the others. The burning sensation was definitely more severe with the tequila and Harry noted that it tasted like shit. But despite all that he actually liked it. He asked for another and drank the shot completely oblivious the looks that Natalie was given him. After his fourth tequila shot he decided to take another quick break from his drinking and chat with Natalie some more.

"I can't believe you just drank tequila straight like that," she said.

"Did I do something wrong?" Harry asked.

Natalie shrugged and said, "Most people can only drink tequila with salt and a lime, I've never seen someone drink that much straight."

"I guess I'm just special." There was a small moment of awkwardness as Natalie blushed and looked down. Harry decided to break the tension with a practical question, "How much do I owe you?"

Natalie looked surprised for a moment before saying, "Eight shots at two pounds each, sixteen pounds." Harry had no idea if that was expensive or not for liquor, but he pulled out the stolen wallet and gave her a crisp twenty-pound note. He inspected it further and found that there were another two twenty-pound notes in there as well as a five-pound note. Making sure that Natalie was busy at the register he quickly waved his hand over the wallet casting a duplication charm on the notes.

Wizard gold and silver pieces had very special anti-duplication charms all over them. Some of the enchantments were placed by the goblins and others were placed by ministries from around the world. All in all it was impossible to for a wizard to simply multiply his gold at will. But muggle money had no such charms, which is why goblins will only exchange muggle money from genuine muggle born wizards and witches like Hermione, but never from a pure blooded family. And even then goblins cast all kinds of dispelling charms on the notes so that if they were duplicated, the notes would disappear. Harry once heard from Hermione that wizards who had been caught trying to cheat the goblins often ended up in Azkaban for a few years.

But Harry had little to worry about in the muggle world as it was unlikely that a muggle would cast a dispelling charm on money. When Natalie returned to Harry, Harry said, "Got anything that I can drink for a while?"

"Like a beer?" Natalie asked.

Harry grimaced at the thought of having to choke down that disgusting, bitter drink. "Something not so disgusting," Harry said back, not really caring that he was probably offending at least half of the establishment's patrons.

"I think I know just the thing for you," Natalie said. And a few moments she returned with a glass and said, "That's a whiskey sour. I made it a bit stronger for you, because I figured you'd be able to handle it. Don't worry about it, it's on the house," she said as Harry went to hand her some more money.

"Are you sure, I don't want you to get into trouble for me," Harry said.

"I'm sure. Enjoy your drink, I'll be back when you need a refill." With that she went to attend to some of the others at the bar, but Harry could've sworn that she winked at him just before she left.

Harry tentatively tasted the whiskey sour that he had been given and found to his surprise that it wasn't really sour at all, it was actually rather sweet. Harry was definitely beginning to feel some of the effects of the alcohol now. He was feeling quite warm so he removed his leather coat and placed it on the ground in front of his feet, pressed against the bar. Harry couldn't help but feel like his very mind was just starting to kind of cloud over, like he was still very aware of everything going on, but he no longer felt like he was being crushed by it all.

Harry just felt . . . kind of content. He continued to slowly sip his drink and took the time to better check out the bar. It really was more of a nightclub now that Harry took the time to properly notice. It seemed like there were more young people here looking to dance and have a good time as opposed to the middle aged type who would rather drink a few pints at the local pub. In fact, now that Harry was really looking, it seemed like he wasn't even the youngest person here. Some of those girls looked like they were only fourteen or fifteen but trying to hide their youth under tons of makeup. No doubt so that the guys won't be turned off by their age, Harry thought. And indeed it looked like the mission of the girls all over the club was to try and find some guy, have him buy them a drink, dance with him in a way that would suggest all kinds of sexual innuendo. Then she would either drag him into a corner to start making out like crazy, or find another guy and repeat the process.

Thank the powers that be that none of those airheads seem interested in me, Harry thought to himself. Of course immediately following that thought, Harry wondered if they were staying away from him because they thought he was extremely unattractive. Oh who cares, in fact I'm thinking entirely too much, I think I need some more to drink.

Finishing the last bit of his whiskey sour, Harry decided that it was time to throw caution into the wind and drink until he couldn't drink anymore. It only took a moment for him to catch Natalie's eye and for her to make her way to him. "So how'd you like the whiskey sour?" she asked.

"It was very nice," he replied. "Listen, I don't know what I'm looking for, but I really need something strong. Could you please just give me whatever your most potent drink is?"

"Harry, why do you want to get drunk so bad? I mean I'm not complaining about the patronage, but I'd feel responsible if you hurt yourself." Natalie looked genuinely concerned for Harry at this time. Any other time Harry would have been more diplomatic about the situation, but the very question she asked invoked thoughts in Harry that he desperately did not want to have.

"Look, just pour the drink!" Harry snapped.

Immediately Harry felt bad about what he just said. Natalie looked genuinely hurt at the snappish comment. With her eyes downcast she retrieved a bottle from under the bar and set it down in front of Harry. "This is one-fifty-one, it's mostly all alcohol. I'm not even supposed to give it out in straight shots, we use it in a select few flaming shots and the like. But if you're so eager to drink yourself to death, then by all means," she said indicating that Harry should pour his own shot.

Harry had another idea, however as he took the bottle, ripped the plastic thingy off the top and proceeded to drink straight from the bottle. Harry simply ignored the furious burning in his throat and nostrils as he chugged the bottle. After about seven or eight swallows and killing about a third of the bottle Harry finally stopped and set the bottle back on the bar.

The effects of that much alcohol seemed nearly instantaneous. Within a few moments the room was considerably more blurry than it was earlier. Harry looked at the bartender who was giving him a look that suggested she thought that he was going to collapse at any moment. But Harry had no intention of collapsing. He felt better than he had in a long time . . . and he had absolutely no idea why!

Harry Potter was fucking wasted and he loved every moment of it. Feeling a grin coming unbidden to his face almost caused Harry to laugh aloud, but instead he asked Natalie, "Would you care to have a dance?"

Natalie for her part was clearly surprised but composed herself after just a moment and checked her watch. "My shift is done in ten minutes. Usually I don't bother to stick around much after, but I think tonight I'll make an exception."

Harry's grin somehow became even bigger and he said, "Excellent! Alright, I'm going to go to the dance floor and learn to dance, I'll wait for you."

Natalie smiled and nodded. Harry jumped to his feet, the effects of the alcohol making his knees wobble slightly. But in his inebriated state, Harry found that tripping over nothing was quite hilarious and laughed to himself as he made his way over the dance floor. Harry wasn't joking when he told Natalie he was going to learn to dance. He watched the guys on the floor as they danced by themselves or with a girl or in a big group of people. It all seemed pretty basic enough, so without any second thoughts about embarrassing himself he strode onto the floor and began to move to the music.

After about ten seconds Harry realized that dancing was considerably more difficult than he had originally thought. He noticed that several girls around him were giving him looks that most definitely indicated that he was lacking. Growing frustrated after about five minutes of looking like an asshole, he decided to be a bit more reckless in his learning. Looking around he found the guys that were dancing and seemed to be doing a good job of it. Harry then went over to them and, with barely any thought to what he was actually doing, used legilimency to rip the information pertaining to dancing from their minds. Harry was a little too drunk at the moment to realize that he was performing incredibly advanced magic with little more than a thought. After Harry had had done this to five different guys he went back to his spot on the dance floor and started dancing again.

Now this is more like it! Harry thought as he found that he knew what to do now moving to the beat of the music. Harry could tell that he was dancing far better than he was earlier and the girls noticed as well. In no time at all Harry had at least half a dozen girls around him dancing with him. Harry barely noticed them as he lost himself in the music. The lights became a blur and Harry didn't even realize what he was doing but he felt his magic actually helping him dance by keeping his balance and helping his movements to be more graceful. He couldn't begin to describe what was happening but when the music finished Harry found himself sweating slightly and completely surrounded by girls who were looking at Harry like he was the most amazing dancer they had ever seen, and some of them actually said as much.

But through the crowd Harry caught sight of the girl he was waiting for. Harry excused himself from the crowd of girls who all looked extremely put out by his leaving them. But Harry could care less because Natalie had finally come out the dance floor. Harry couldn't help but be amazed by what he saw. She was no longer wearing her bartender uniform but had instead changed into significantly more revealing and immensely more sexy clothing. Harry knew she was pretty but hadn't expected her to be drop dead gorgeous.

No words were exchanged between them but when the music started they danced with each other in a way that made everyone else in the club look like awkward beginners. Harry couldn't tell how long they had been dancing before she started grinding into him. Harry wasn't aware of much of anything when she started to kiss him softly. All Harry was aware of is that she felt good.

And he wanted more.

Harry, not longer after . . . apparently, found himself in a flat that he could only assume was Natalie's. Funny how aware of everything Harry became when Natalie began removing pieces of clothing. Harry soon lost himself in a night of frenzied passion.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry slowly opened his eyes, squinting at the bright light of day. Looking to his left he realized why he felt incredibly warm and relaxed. Natalie was curled up next to him and there was not one bit of clothing on either of them. As smashed as Harry was last night he could still remember most of what had happened. Or at least until clothing was removed last night, Damn, Harry thought. But the memory of everything that happened last night wasn't as important as the realization that last night, either through the alcohol or the ridiculous shagging, Harry did not suffer one bit from nightmares. Something that had not happened in so long Harry couldn't even remember what it was like to sleep so well.

At that moment, the only thing important to Harry was relaxing in the bliss that Natalie provided with her warm body pressed tightly into Harry's ever so slightly moving with the steady rhythm of her breathing. But the moment ended far too soon for Harry as soon Natalie began to stir and open her beautiful blue eyes. Upon seeing Harry she smiled and said, "Hey," snuggling up closer to him.

"Good morning, beautiful," Harry said to her kissing her lightly on top of her head. For a while they both laid in each other's arms before Harry said, "What do want to do for breakfast?"

"Mmmm, I don't want to get up yet, it's too early," she said nuzzling in closer to Harry.

"Too early? We've already had quite the lay in."

"Yeah, but when you're up all night it's still only a few hours of sleep."

"Oh come on we weren't up all night, I know for sure that we were back here by like 2."

"Yeah but when we got back here we didn't fall asleep until something like 4," Natalie countered looking him in the eye with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

Harry couldn't help but blush. He hadn't realized that they had . . . you know . . . for several hours. Harry chuckled lightly and asked, "So what did you think of last night then?" Harry made the question very light but in truth he wondered how he had performed, his memories were jumbled at best and he had no idea how his first time had been.

Natalie lifted her head up and faced Harry looking him squarely and said, "It was hands down one of the best nights of my life. I don't think I've ever met anyone who was as passionate as you were."

Woohoo! Harry couldn't help but be elated at the praise. "Well thank you for the glowing review, and allow me to say in return that you did things to me that I hadn't thought possible." Harry hoped that she didn't realize that he couldn't remember much of anything, but he was being truthful in that he didn't really think that he would ever escape his nightmares like what had happened last night.

"I'm wondering if I might get a repeat performance," Natalie said snaking her hand between Harry's legs and feeling the arousal Harry woke up with every morning.

Harry looked at her and saw that she was giving him a devilish grin just before she swooped down and captured Harry's lips with her own. For his part Harry couldn't get his mind around how good this felt, it was just amazing how much one person could make another person feel so alive.

Harry's hands slowly caressed her backside as she began to ever so gently rock against him indicating her desire. Harry broke free of her lips and began trailing kisses down her neck and shoulder as she gave a small sigh of pleasure. Positioning herself, she slowly brought herself down Harry's length until he was fully in her. Natalie allowed herself a brief moment reveling in the fullness that Harry gave her before beginning to writhe on top of him. For Harry the feelings of pleasure from Natalie's warmth and movements could only be described as exquisite.

Natalie slowly increased her tempo until she suddenly cried out Harry's name and climaxed, Harry following almost immediately thereafter. Panting, Natalie rested on Harry's chest as he struggled to comprehend once more how she could possibly make him feel this way. With his arms tightly wrapped around her back, Natalie simply laid on top of Harry for quite some time enjoying the post bliss of lovemaking.

As much as Harry would like to lay in bed all day like this, the demands of his stomach were growing ever more persistent. Finally, Harry said, "Natalie, I would love nothing more than to lay here like this for hours, but if I don't get some breakfast soon I think I'll have to start eating your pillows."

Natalie laughed and said, "Okay you win." And with that they disentangled themselves from each other and put on a very select bit of clothing. In Natalie's case she simply put on a pair of knickers that Harry would have thought to have been scandalously revealing and then an overly large button up shirt that somehow made her look every bit as amazingly attractive as she was when she was completely naked.

Harry for his part simply found his boxers and put them on deciding to forgo the rest of his clothing for the moment. Unfortunately he forgot one very important aspect of his lack of clothing.

"Where did you get all those scars Harry?" Natalie asked. "I didn't really notice any of them until just now."

Looking down Harry saw that across his entire torso and down his arms and no doubt extending to his back as well were the remains of Luscius Malfoy's torture in the form of spidery thin scars. Harry turned around and looked at himself in the full-length mirror in the room so he could see himself better. If Harry hadn't known any better the scars might have seemed eerily beautiful, almost like artwork across his entire body. Turning back to Natalie he saw that she was staring at his body with no small amount of curiosity.

Gathering himself he said, "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's alright."

Natalie nodded and then hesitantly asked, "Is it some kind of tatoo or body art like that?"

Feeling memories of torture coming unbidden to his mind Harry looked Natalie in the eye and said with far more force than he meant to, "This was done to me against my will in a most painful manner. I'd rather not discuss it."

Looking into his eyes, Natalie saw so much emotion, so much anger and pain in his eyes that she couldn't help but feel sorry for Harry.

Harry calmed himself using the occulmency techniques he learned over the summer. It took only a few moments for him to calm himself enough to say, "Alright, now how about that breakfast?"

Natalie nodded and left the bedroom. As soon as she left, Harry found his shirt and pants and put them both on, not wanting his scars to be seen anymore. As he entered the kitchen he could tell from the expression on Natalie's face that she was disappointed that Harry had covered up more. As to whether or not that disappointment came from her wanting to see more of his scars or her just wanting to have a well-toned half-naked guy walking around, Harry had not a clue.

Natalie made a small breakfast of eggs and bacon that Harry found to be surprisingly good. "So I noticed that there are a few other bedrooms here. Do you have any flatmates?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I live with three other girls. We all go to the same university so it's easy for us to carpool or take busses together to get to classes and such."

"Why aren't any of them around?"

"They all went home for the weekend, they should be back later this evening. It's kind of funny actually."

"What is," Harry asked.

"Well . . ." Natalie seemed kind of hesitant but said, "It's just that generally I'm not the one to do crazy stuff like this. I mean I'm always the designated driver and the like. Not the one who meets a guy a bar and takes him home for the night."

"A very satisfying and fulfilling night I might add," Harry interjected.

"Yes it was rather," Natalie said with a sly grin on her face that Harry was truly beginning to love. "They probably won't even believe me when I tell them about last night."

There was a bit a silence until Harry spoke up and said, "Well thank you very much for giving me a place to sleep last night as well as a complimentary breakfast. Company wasn't so bad either." Natalie giggled a bit at Harry's joke before Harry continued, "I guess I'd better grab my shoes and get the hell out of here."

"Harry, you never did tell me where you were staying," Natalie said.

Damn! "Umm . . . I really haven't figured it out just yet, but I'll find some place. Probably some cheap hotel that won't ask me for any kind of I.D." Harry said trying to sound as if he were joking.

"You really don't have a place to stay?" Natalie asked.

"Listen, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself, I've been doing so almost my entire life. In a few minutes you can go back to your life and I'll just be a memory." Harry sincerely hoped she didn't ask anymore questions.

Unfortunately, Natalie did the one thing that was worse than asking awkward questions, she asked, "Well why don't you just stay here? I mean the other girls have had people stay for a couple of nights before. Just until you find out what's going on."

"Oh no, I couldn't possibly put you out like that. I mean look at me. I have nothing but the clothes that I'm wearing, I'd just be a burden on you."

Natalie didn't respond at first but finally she said, "Harry, I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you just go off into the city with no money and no place to go. I'm not saying that you have to move in. Just spend a few nights until you can contact a relative or a friend or something and then we can figure the rest out. Just . . . please."

Harry wanted to tell her with all his heart that he wasn't going to stay here. But looking into her blue eyes he couldn't help but find himself saying, "Alright I'll stay, but only for a few nights . . . and you have to let me make it up to by cooking."

Natalie laughed and said, "Are you crazy? I've seen what men can do in a kitchen and I'm telling you that no way am I going to let you feed me something that hasn't been identified by science yet."

Harry feigned a look of hurt on his face and said, "I'll have you know that I'm quite an impressive cook. My cooking makes your cooking look like a pile of puke."

Natalie laughed more at this and soon they were in a full-fledged tickling match. After they finished tickling each other Natalie said, "Alright, I'm going to go take a shower, you can take yours after I've finished."

"Sure I'll just write out a list of things for me to do today. Oh by the way, what's the address to this place?"

After Natalie told him the address she went into the bathroom the sound of the shower soon following. Harry found a pen and paper and began to write out what he wanted to do today. Deep down Harry was immensely relieved that Natalie had offered to let him stay with her. Not having to find a motel or some other place to lay low was an immense relief to him. But he was far from set.

Harry knew that as much as he might want to run away from the war in the wizard world, he could never escape it. But Harry also knew that he needed to be away from that world for a time at the moment. There was just too much going on there, he was presumed dead by everyone he had ever known, and the only person who knew he was alive wanted to experiment on him like a lab rat. Finally there was Voldemort. Harry knew that Voldemort was more powerful than he was at that time, and the only chance he would have would be to train himself so that he could fully understand his own power and use it to defeat that bastard once and for all.

So that's my ultimate goal, Harry thought, become powerful enough to kill Voldemort. To achieve this goal Harry would need books, lots of books. That means a trip to Diagon Alley . . . probably Knockturn Alley as well. Books would cost money, so that meant a trip to Gringotts. Hmm, complications might arise upon a person trying to take money from a dead man's vault. But Harry knew that there was simply no way around it. He would have to try and get to Gringotts and hope that they didn't ask too many questions.

Looking down at himself Harry noticed that he had definitely filled out some due to his work over the summer, but it was far short of what Harry wanted. Harry knew that his battle with Voldemort had every chance of being just as physical as it was magical. And passing out due to fatigue or getting caught with a minor curse because of being to tired to dodge simply would not do. Harry wasn't sure how to go about fulfilling this particular task. He couldn't simply buy the weights because he very much doubted that Natalie would appreciate her flat being filled up with free weights. That meant he would have to join some kind of gym or something like that.

Harry was still puzzling over the gym issue when Natalie finished her shower and came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. "Shower's all yours, Harry," she said winking at him.

Harry smiled and folded up the list he was writing of things to do and put it in his pocket. Harry didn't realize until he stepped into the bathroom that he hadn't showered in months, and he was really missing it. Harry always loved taking baths and showers, the hot water was more relaxing than anything else Harry had ever experienced.

Harry peeled of his clothes and stepped into the shower turning the water up so hot that it was nearly at full hot. Within moments the entire bathroom was completely enveloped in a cloud of steam. It was by far the best that Harry had felt in an extremely long time. Reflecting back on his life he realized that there were entirely far too few moments like this one. Yes, it might be Harry's destiny to be the conqueror of the greatest evil the world has seen in several hundred years, but in no way does it mean that Harry's life has to be filled with the excruciating sadness and downright unfairness that it was filled with thus far. Harry wasn't one to bitch about what he deserved in life and go on about how fate had basically fucked him over, but enough was enough. Right now he had a chance to pursue an entirely normal relationship with a really nice girl and live a life that doesn't have to be filled with loss and suffering.

Harry finished his shower a good twenty-five minutes later, smelling very flowery due to the girly soaps and shampoos that he was forced to use. As he was toweling himself off he noticed that his clothes were gone. Harry could've sworn that he had simply left them in a heap on the bathroom floor, but after a minute of searching around they were definitely not in the bathroom anymore. With little other choice Harry wrapped the towel around his waist and left the bathroom. He heard voices and figured the TV must be on in the living room and Natalie must be watching it.

"Hey, Natalie have you seen where my pants . . ." Harry trailed off as he entered the room and realized that the TV was not on, and Natalie was talking with two other girls that Harry could only assume were Natalie's flat-mates.

For a few moments no one moved. Harry could practically feel the two new girls boring into him with their eyes and Harry became very aware of the fact that he was only wearing a towel and was still dripping a bit. It was Harry that broke the silence by softly clearing his throat and saying, "Hello, um, ladies."

The two new girls continued to simply stare at Harry and Natalie said, "Hey, Harry. I put your clothes in the wash. They really stank something furious. I have some men's clothes from my ex-boyfriend that you can use. They're buried in the back of my closet but I'm sure you can find them."

"Uh, thanks Natalie. I'll just . . . be off then. Ladies," and with that Harry made a hasty retreat to Natalie's room. As soon as he was out of sight he could hear the girls release the breath they were holding as they spoke in hushed tones.

"Oh my god, where did you find him, Natalie!"

"He is gorgeous!"

"You slept with him?"

"Was he a good shag?"

"Ssshhh! Yes, that's the Harry I was telling you about."

"Well I certainly don't mind him living here! Hell, he can sleep in my room!"

Harry closed the door to the bedroom after that last comment blushing a furious crimson. He still wasn't used to receiving that kind of attention from girls. Most of his experience with girls came with the fact that they knew he was famous, but these girls simply thought he was a hottie.

Thinking that he should most definitely not think about it anymore, Harry made his way over to the closet in the hopes that whatever clothes Natalie was talking about fitted him reasonably well. It took Harry a moment to find what he was looking for but he soon found a pair of jeans and a pair of khakis, as well as a t-shirt with some kind of logo on it, and a button long sleeve. If Harry had to venture a guess he would say that the clothes were made for someone about two or three inches taller than he was, the waist of the pants also seemed a bit large for him. Deciding that there was little he could do about it, he simply put the jeans and t-shirt on. Feeling a slight bit chilled Harry decided to put the long sleeve on as well.

In the past Harry wouldn't have given a damn about how he looked or what he dressed in, but for some reason at this time Harry felt very irked that he couldn't even have clothes that fit him properly. Casting a look about to make sure that he was completely alone, Harry waved his hand over the clothes and pictured them in his mind fitting him perfectly. Harry smiled as the ever increasingly familiar feeling of warmth traveled across his entire body as he wielded his magic. Looking over himself in the full-length mirror in the room, Harry thought that he looked entirely too bright and colorful and what he wouldn't give to have his dark clothes back. But at the same time he was in a much brighter mood than he had been in a rather long time, maybe the brighter outfit wasn't too bad after all.

Knowing that attempting to do anything with his hair at all was a lost cause, Harry took a deep calming breath (and a small bit of occlumency) and left the room to confront Natalie and her flat-mates.

As Harry walked into the living room he found the girls still talking very closely and quickly in hushed tones. Harry cleared his throat to indicate his presence and immediately the girls broke apart like something had bit them all in their asses. Deciding that a bit of turnabout was fair play, Harry said, "Oh please don't let me interrupt, what were you all talking about?"

It took Harry every ounce of self-control he possessed to not crack a smile at the panicked looks the three girls were giving each other. It was Natalie who responded with, "Oh just a bit of girl talk and what we all did over the weekend."

"Or who we did," one of the girls muttered earning her a pointed look from Natalie.

"Well now that I'm properly dressed, perhaps we can be properly introduced . . . Natalie," Harry said, nudging Natalie and getting a few giggles from the girls.

"Oh right, sorry. Harry, this is Cara and Jess," Natalie said. Cara was slightly shorter than Natalie and had brown hair and brown eyes. She looked very thin and had a fair complexion. Harry would have thought her very pretty if it wasn't for the fact that she was sitting next to Natalie whom Harry thought to be the prettiest of the three. Jess also had brown hair and brown eyes as well as very tanned skin. If Harry was to guess he would say that she seemed very Italian. She stood about as tall as Natalie and was also rather pretty.

"Pleased to meet you both," Harry said shaking both their hands. "I guess Natalie has told you both that I'm going to be . . . well living here for a bit, I guess. But I promise you that I won't be here long and you'll barely notice me as it is."

"Do you go to the university as well, Harry?" Jess asked.

"No, I go to a boarding school, or rather I did until a few days ago. I kind of ran off. Don't know if I'll go back there or simply move on with my life, but I'm definitely not going anywhere close to there in the near future."

"Wait, you mean you just left your school? Aren't you worried about being expelled?" Cara asked.

"I couldn't give any less of a damn if I was expelled. I've pretty much got my life all planned out for me as it is now, anyway. If you don't mind the reasons for leaving that place are very personal and I'd really appreciate not talking about it anymore," Harry said.

There was an awkward silence for a moment before Harry spoke up, "Well I really don't want to intrude any more than I have to. You all must have better things to do than shoot the shit with me all day. I'm going to go off and take care of a few errands." With that said, Harry got up and made for the door before he remembered, "Hey, are there any kind of gyms or weight centers around here?"

Jess answered, "There's one on campus that you can use. I think you have pay a membership fee but it's really close."

"Thanks, I'll check it out," Harry said, and then he left the apartment.

For a brief moment Harry felt extremely annoyed with Natalie for washing his pants with the list he had written of things to do in the pocket. But the feeling passed quickly as Harry remembered everything he needed to do anyway.

Harry left the apartment building and stepped into an empty alley. Making sure that he wasn't being watched, he transformed to his phoenix form and took to the sky. Harry thought it rather ironic that he had just fled from Hogwarts and had just told the girls that he wanted nothing to do with his former school, and yet it was where he needed to make his first stop.

After several minutes of ridiculous phoenix speed Harry once again found himself at Hogwarts. Because Harry was quite sure that he would have to go into the castle this time he made sure the astronomy tower was empty before flying into it and resuming his human form. Harry cast a silencing charm on his feet and then concentrated to become invisible again. Harry found that doing something that he had already done before was far easier than doing it the first time and found that it didn't take him as much time or effort as it had previously. When he was sure that he was completely undetectable by all conventional means (Harry felt that masking his magical signature was overkill) he left the tower in search of his trunk.

Harry knew that the directional spell he had used in his fourth year in the maze of the tri-wizard tournament would default to point the caster in the direction of north, but could be modified by the caster to find specific places or even objects. At the time, Harry was far too unskilled or he would have used the spell to point himself in the direction of the tri-wizard cup and not simply North. But now Harry felt confident in his ability. And as he cast the spell concentrating on his trunk, a small wisp of light issued from his hand and began zipping down the stairs.

Harry had to run to keep up and was immediately grateful for his silencing spell as he would have been making a racket flying down the stairs in the way he was. Fortunately for Harry class seemed to be in session at the time and there were almost no occupants in the hallways. The few wayward students and ghosts weren't paying enough attention to notice a small wisp fly by. Despite all of his summer training and newfound natural physical prowess, Harry was actually getting a bit tired or running at top speed up and down stairs and across the entire bloody castle it seemed like. Finally the wisp approached the gargoyle that was the gateway to Dumbledore's office. Harry held out his hand and froze the wisp knowing that however old and aloof Dumbledore might seem he would certainly notice a wisp of magic zipping about his office. Although the thought of the headmaster being utterly perplexed by a little wisp of magic did bring a smile to Harry's face.

The gargoyle itself was another problem. The magical wisp could simply fly right on through, Harry would need to open up the gargoyle. Harry was also reluctant to begin guessing random sweets. Harry didn't know of any security measures on the gargoyle, but that didn't mean that they weren't there. Unless Harry wanted to bet on an extremely lucky guess he would have to think of something else. It was too cold for the window in the headmaster's office to be open so he couldn't fly through as a phoenix. Harry definitely needed to get around the gargoyle but it needed to be flawless. Harry thought for a moment before an idea struck him. It was a bit of a stretch but he really thought it might work.

Relaxing himself, Harry began to concentrate on the magic of the gargoyle. It took several minutes for Harry to finally feel it, but when he did he was quite surprised at the simplicity of it. The enchantment on the gargoyle was an incredibly simple activation charm. When the right stimulus was applied, a verbal password, the charm is activated, in this case animating the gargoyle to reveal the passage behind. The animation charm and the security charms (Ha! I knew it!) were quite a bit more complex but Harry didn't need to mess with those at all. Harry reached out with his magic and simply supplied the stimulus. Although nothing was said, the charm thought that the password had just been spoken and thus activated.

Snapping out of his reverie Harry couldn't help but feel incredibly proud of himself as he had successfully bypassed an ancient security spell with a mere thought. Harry unfroze the wisp and slowed it down so that it wouldn't just fly right into Dumbledore's office. Harry had to make sure that the old man wasn't in his office before he burst in and began searching the place. Harry followed the wisp and froze it again right outside the office doors. Harry put his ear against the door and listened to try and ascertain if the room was vacated. Harry heard nothing so he concentrated on the door to see if there were any charms on them. But they appeared to be clean, so Harry pushed the door open a crack and waited.

Nothing happened, so Harry opened it more and peeked in. The room was empty except for Fawkes. Opening the door so that he could get through Harry unfroze the wisp and followed as it zipped around the office. The wisp actually circled the office a few times before it slowed down and came to a rest right in front of a very large closet on the far wall. Harry made sure all the portraits of the previous headmasters were all sleeping before going to the closet and pulling it open. Inside, in the exact condition Harry remembered was his trunk and his firebolt. Harry pulled out his trunk, opened it up, and began going through the contents to make sure that everything he needed was in there. Harry found his books, his invisibility cloak, his photo album, which he hugged to his chest for a moment before continuing, his school robes, some miscellaneous junk he never bothered with, and finally his Gringotts key. Harry knew that was everything he needed, but he was slightly confused. Where was his wand?

Not that Harry needed it or had any inclination to begin using it. But it was rather sentimental to him and he'd like it back. He was about to cast another point spell but his sensitive hearing picked up rapid and multiple footsteps coming up the stairs. The closet! Harry felt incredibly stupid that after all his caution he forgot to check the stupid closet. Harry slammed the lid of his trunk and shrunk it with almost no thought. Harry thought for a moment on how easy magic was when he was in a panic situation before dropping the invisibility charm and putting the trunk in his pocket.

With a fearful glance at the portraits who were all still asleep Harry held his hand out towards the window and blasted it. No sooner had Harry transformed into his phoenix form did Dumbledore along with several Order members burst into the room, wands drawn. All they saw however was a brief flash of black flame.

Harry didn't even consider how lucky he was to have gotten out of there. Dumbledore could have easily left some kind of jinx on the closet or had a portkey to take him directly to his office. Either way it would have sucked to have been caught and be forced to deal with that shit.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It didn't take Harry very long to fly back to London and find Diagon Alley from the sky. Although the entire alley was covered in anti-muggle charms, the phoenix could see right through them so Harry had no need to go through the Leaky Cauldron in order to access the alley. Instead Harry found a dark corner right next to Gringotts and with a small pop resumed his normal form. Knowing that he couldn't afford to be recognized, Harry conjured a set of robes to wear. The robes were so purely black they seemed to suck the light around him, and with the hood up Harry was quite certain that he would not be recognized.

Harry walked into Gringotts and approached the nearest available goblin. "I'd like to withdraw a substantial amount from my vault, if its not too much trouble."

The goblin examined his key with close scrutiny before examining Harry even closer. Even though Harry was quite certain that the hood completely obscured his face he couldn't help but wonder if the goblin could see right though it. More importantly would the goblin even care that the key supposedly belonged to a dead man? Just as Harry was beginning to sweat under the hood the goblin spoke, "Very well then, Mr. Potter. I'll have someone escort you to your vault, which if you're wondering has remained untouched since your last visit."

Harry was quite shocked at this and said, "You're not going to alert the ministry to . . . my . . ."

"No, Mr. Potter. The business of Gringotts is hardly in the affairs of the Ministry. The goblins in general have very little regard for the laws of men. If you wish your presence here to remain confidential which, judging from your state of dress, I can assume to be the case; you have nothing to fear. The goblins have our own ways of knowing if our clients are among the deceased. You never were declared dead by Gringotts. If that is all," the goblin said waving another goblin over. "Crossedsock will take you down to your vault now."

Harry thanked the goblin and followed Crossedsock to the carts. As the cart sped down to his vault Harry couldn't help but feel depressed by the thought that the last time he did this was with Cho. Cho with her hair flying behind her, looking so beautiful.

Stop that! Harry told himself. It would do no good for him to dwell on her. Cho had a chance now to live her life, happily away from Harry. If things had been different then maybe . . . but why bother to even entertain the thought? Things aren't different! They are what they fucking are! But why, dammit? It's not fucking fair! I know that life isn't supposed to be fair, but a bit of fortune now and then would really be FUCKING APPRECIATED!

Harry was allowing himself to become so angry his didn't even notice that his hands were once again starting to bleed off the same green magic that he did at the attack in Diagon Alley. Harry didn't even realize that the cart stopped and the goblin asked if he was alright.

"Mr. Potter!" the diminutive goblin practically shouted.

Harry snapped out of his anger and immediately the magic stopped flowing from his hands. He realized that he was at his vault and followed the goblin out of the cart. After Crossedsock had opened his vault he grabbed a nearby money sack and began stuffing it full of gold. Harry asked the goblin if he would mind casting an enlargement charm on the interior of the money sack to which the goblin did so with a wave of his hand. Now the money sack could hold several times what it could previously.

"Crossedsock, would it be possible to get a large portion of my gold exchanged for pounds?"

"Certainly, Mr. Potter, we can do that for you back on the surface."

After the cart ride back to the top, Harry exchanged three hundred galleons to fifteen hundred pounds. Hoping that would be enough, he thanked the goblin and left the bank. Although Harry could easily multiply muggle pound notes, he really felt guilty about both stealing that guy's wallet and then using fake money that had no doubt disappeared by now. Even though Harry was enjoying rebelling against traditions and rules, he had no desire to become a dishonest person. The thought of cheating muggles just because he could sounded a little too much like what a person like Wormtail would do.

Harry left Gringotts and stepped out back into the alley. Walking swiftly through the alley, Harry wanted to do what he needed to as quickly as possible to decrease the chances of being recognized. And that was when he saw it.

On the exact spot where he had stood a little over two and half months ago was a life sized statue of himself atop a rather large stone base. The base looked to be made of some completely black and shiny stone and was about four feet in diameter and about five feet high. The statue of Harry was dressed in the exact way he was during the attack, the statue was standing tall and proud with his hands on his hips and his head up as though he was looking off into the distance. Even Harry had to admit the figure just looked, for lack of a better word, heroic. Is that how people really see me? he thought to himself. As Harry approached the monument he saw that on the front of the base was an engraving.

It was on this exact spot that on July 30th, 1998
Harry Potter died fighting the forces of evil
at only 16 years of age.
Fighting one of the greatest evils of modern times,
Harry Potter brought the light of hope to a world of darkness.
A hero, a friend, a warrior,
A boy
Harry Potter will always be remembered.

Harry stared numbly at the statue for a few minutes reading and re-reading the inscription and looking at the statue of himself. For Harry Potter the moment was nothing shy of an epiphany. This world needs a hero, not necessarily to fight battles or just to provide a bit of entertainment in the paper. They truly need someone to simply believe in. In that instant Harry's resolve to rid this world of Voldemort increased to a point Harry didn't think he was capable of. No matter the cost, he must be defeated!

Walking away from the monument, Harry headed to the bookstore. Once inside he immediately started browsing for books that specifically dealt with magical theory, not in any specific subject but just on magic itself. Also, Harry looked for books with extremely potent battle spells, Harry had no use for minor jinxes and hexes nor did he have any time for dueling spells. Harry needed spells that were used for one thing: war. The time for stunning enemies and using fanciful spells had past. Unfortunately for Harry, the subject that he desired was very limited. Most likely because the ministry had regulated the sale of books that had extremely dangerous and lethal spells within them.

After about thirty minutes of searching Harry only found four books. One immensely thick tome about the theory of magic titled, 'Origyns of Magick' the book looked to be hundreds of years old. Two of the books dealt entirely with magic spells with no other use than outside of war and the last book contained a history of magical wars complete with strategies, critiques, and counter strategies. When the cashier rung up the price on the four books, Harry wondered for a moment if he hadn't bought the four most expensive books in the entire store. He was sure that these four books had just cost him what his first three years worth of Hogwarts's books must have (including the Lockhart books!).

If the price seemed amazing, Harry gave no outward indication that was what he thought. He calmly paid the cashier and walked out of the store never saying a single word. Knowing that he only had one more place left to go, Harry walked swiftly towards Knockturn Alley. As soon as Harry felt nobody was watching him he shrunk his books and placed them in his pocket before entering Knockturn Alley.

Harry didn't once falter or break his stride as he walked into the dark alley. If the other patrons of Knockturn Alley found anything suspicious about Harry, none acted on it, as the most any would do is follow him with their eyes for a moment before looking away. Not someone they want to fuck with, Harry thought.

Harry soon found what he was hoping to find and walked into the small dingy bookstore. Noticing at once that this bookstore was far darker than Flourish and Blotts, most of the books seemed like they had been collecting dust for years. Without a word to the cashier who watched as he began to browse the titles, Harry looked for pretty much the same thing he did in Flourish and Blotts, hoping that a store of lesser repute would perhaps carry something that the other store didn't. Something darker that perhaps the ministry wouldn't want to be in the hands of an ordinary citizen. It took Harry almost forty minutes to find something but finally he did in the farthest corner of the store on the bottom shelf, Harry found a book that was positively brimming with lethal war spells, many of which had been classified as dark and illegal in most countries. With the book in his hand Harry made for the cashier who seemed rather surprised that the dark, faceless customer had found that particular book.

Harry placed the book on the counter and waited for a price to be quoted.

"I think this book is a bit out of your league," the clerk said in a very oily voice.

Harry said nothing but continued to wait.

"I wonder why anyone would even want to have this book," the clerk continued after if was clear that Harry wasn't about to move.

"The knowledge contained in this book is worth far more than a person like you can pay, I think."

Harry simply continued to wait.

The clerk seemed to be getting agitated and slightly unnerved at Harry's complete lack of response. "If you must know the price is 2,000 galleons! No less!"

The clerk visibly flinched as Harry finally, and suddenly, moved. Harry actually had to control himself to keep from laughing upon depositing the sum on the counter. The clerk didn't seem to know what to do so Harry took the book off the counter and left a flabbergasted and thoroughly frightened clerk behind. As soon as Harry was out of the store he shrunk the book and placed it with the others. He then found the nearest dark corner and transformed into the midnight phoenix and in a flash of black flame was gone from the wizarding alleys.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry flew back to the same alley that he had begun his trip, right next to Natalie's building and returned to his human form. Making sure that once again the alley was deserted he pulled out his trunk and began to sort through it. He removed all of his robes as none of them even fit him any more as well as all of his Lockhart books, they were completely useless. He was tempted to get rid of his first and second year books as well just to clear out space but decided against it. The trunk was already magically enlarged as all Hogwarts students' trunks are so Harry thought he would have enough space. He placed his five new books and his remaining gold inside and closed the trunk.

Concentrating he cast a minor, simple locking charm on his trunk so that only he would be able to get in. Any first year at Hogwarts would be able to break his locking charm, but even the most sophisticated muggle lock smith would be completely befuddled. And keeping nosy muggle girls from snooping was the goal for Harry.

Harry then set about gathering up as much spare newspaper as he could find. He then piled his discarded books and robes onto it and concentrated on lighting a fire. It worked beautifully and soon all that remained of the pile was ashes. Harry then banished the robes he was wearing and began hauling the trunk up to Natalie's room.

Harry was grateful for his improved strength as he felt like his trunk was still ridiculously heavy for its size. But then again it did have at least thirty big-ass hardcover spell books, that wouldn't even fit into a regular trunk of that size. Finally Harry reached Natalie's apartment and knocked on the door.

It was Jess that answered the door, "Hey, Harry. Where'd you go?"

Thinking fast, Harry said, "Well I just went to pick this up," he said gesturing towards his trunk, "I mailed it to myself before I left so I just had to go to the post office and pick it up."

"Oh okay, do you need a hand with that?" she asked.

"By all means," he said letting her pick it up.

Or rather she tried to pick it up. Harry wondered if she was just not very strong or if he really was quite a bit stronger when she tried to pick it up and it didn't even budge.

"Oh my god! What do you have in there, bricks?" Jess asked.

"Hey, my collection of bricks and heavy stones is very important to me," Harry joked.

Jess laughed and then stopped as Harry picked up the trunk with (almost) no difficulty.

If Jess was impressed she certainly hid it very well and said, "Well I guess you should put that in Natalie's room. Chances are you'll be sharing a room with her."

Harry wasn't too sure about that though. Although he had no problems with sharing a room with an incredibly hot blonde, she might not be too thrilled about the idea. After all last night she did have a bit too much to drink, and this morning when she asked me to stay we had just finished . . . yea, Harry thought. But such things can be decided later and Harry put his trunk in Natalie's room just so that it was of sight to avoid questions pertaining to its contents.

Harry had just put his trunk down when Natalie came into the room and said, "Hey Harry. Jess told me that you just got back. What are you going to do now?"

"Well now that I have my trunk and my money, I was hoping to get out and do a bit of shopping. I don't have any clothes with me so I definitely need to do that, and if anything else pops out at me I'll grab that too," Harry said. "Would you want to come with me. I generally have a pretty terrible fashion sense, and I gather from the clothes you and your flat-mates have that you know a bit more than I do."

Natalie's eyes seemed to light up at this and she said, "That would be great! I've been meaning to go shopping for a while now, and I know that Jess and Cara are always up for a shopping spree."

Indeed, as soon as Harry and Natalie asked if they wanted to come along, Jess and Cara jumped at the chance. Of course what Harry hadn't counted on was the girls all insisting that they needed to change and make themselves presentable. Harry thought that all looked just fine in the clothes they were in but they would have nothing of it. So Harry was forced to watch TV for the better part of forty minutes as they all changed and applied makeup and all the girl stuff that Harry and guys in general have little patience for.

Finally after a quick walk to the underground, a short ride, and another quick walk, Harry found himself with three girls in a gigantic mall. The girls wasted no time practically shoving Harry into a trendy clothing store and picking out outfits for him. The girls flatly ignored Harry's insistence that all he needed was a few sets of trousers and some shirts.

Harry soon found, after much arguing and a fair bit of cursing that, regardless of what he did or said, the girls were going to dress him up and make him try on outfits for the next several hours, and he might as well just shut up and go along with it. Not that it was completely without enjoyment. After a while Harry actually started to get a kick out of what he would look like in all kinds of different outfits, some of the more lurid and gaudy outfits were enough to make him and everyone around him just burst into laughter. As it turned out the girls really had no agenda to make him buy a ton of clothing and after they had finished playing "dress-up" with Harry, they gave their honest opinions on what they liked the best. Thus it was that Harry ended up with four jeans, a set of khakis, four button tops, two long-sleeved shirts, and one Hawaiian shirt that was too good to pass up. A bit more than what he had originally expected, but not so bad when considering that he had tried on almost everything in the store.

After he paid for everything, almost 400 pounds, Harry said the only thing he was lacking now were some t-shirts that he could wear around casually. The girls all looked at each other and seemed to have a silent one-second conversation before dragging Harry across the entire mall to a kind of punk looking store. Inside Harry found more than enough t-shirts to satisfy his needs. After picking out five shirts with either a band or sarcastic comment on it he felt satisfied, although the girls wished that he would pick out something other than black for his t-shirts. To satisfy them, Harry picked out one t-shirt that was completely blood red, with some kind of black logo across the chest that almost looked like an ancient rune of sorts. It was pretty cool.

After that Harry went to a shoe store and bought a pair of black shoes, as well as a pair of running shoes, and a dozen pairs of socks. Harry would have simply bought the one pair of black shoes, but as he wanted to get a membership at the gym that the girls had mentioned earlier and pick up with his training again he would need shoes that he could move around in. Fortunately that particular shoe store also had a selection of athletic clothing that Harry took advantage of. Buying a pair of black shorts, a pair of black sweats, a sleeveless white shirt, and a dark blue long sleeved shirt called "Under Armor" Harry had no idea what that meant but he knew that it would be ideal for running.

They didn't spend much more time in the mall after Harry had finished shopping. Harry got the feeling that the girls actually wouldn't have minded doing a bit more shopping of their own, they had all been buying the odd shirt here and there that they happened upon. But Harry suspected that they had taken pity on him seeing as how he was carrying around a shit load of bags. Not that the bags were exactly heavy or that Harry was having trouble carrying them all around, it was more that the girls seemed to be machines. Harry couldn't believe how tired he was getting just walking around the mall while these girls looked like they could have at it for hours and hours.

They all managed to return to the apartment without complication. Almost as soon as they had arrived Harry asked if one of them would show him where he could sign up for that gym membership they were talking about earlier. Natalie quickly volunteered to take him, and Harry had the suspicion that she really just wanted to talk to him a bit without any of the others around.

"Harry," Natalie began, "I really don't mean to sound rude, but I can't help but think that it almost looks like you're moving in. I mean, I know that I said you could stay a bit, but I didn't think that you had any money, or anywhere else to go. I mean, when I met you at the club, it looked like you were . . . I don't know." Natalie paused before continuing, "It looked like you were running from something with nothing more than the clothes on your back. I just couldn't let you go off with no place to go and no money. But now that that's not the case, I just . . ." Natalie trailed off and looked into Harry's eyes asking silent questions.

Harry smiled a bit and said, "I know what you're afraid of. You're thinking, 'Oh shit, I thought this guy was going to hang around for a few days before he found out where he needed to go and then I would probably never see him again. And now it looks like he's getting ready to stay for a long time.' You don't have to worry, Natalie, I promise you that I'm not some psycho who's going to move in and then make you call the police to make me leave four months from now. It's just that wherever I go after I get out of your place, I think I'll stay around this general area. It's a pretty nice place and it really has everything I need. So you don't have to worry about me staying with you for months and months, but unfortunately you might be seeing a bit more of me than you had originally anticipated."

Natalie gave a shy smile and said, "Well, I wouldn't say that I was hoping to never see you after you left."

Harry smiled and looked into her blue eyes. In them he found a genuine care and honesty that he couldn't help but be elated by. He slowly lowered his head to hers and kissed her lips softly. She responded by moving her hand to the back of his head and slowly running her fingers through his hair. The kiss was far more intimate and sweet than the frenzied, passionate kisses they had shared the night before. Harry couldn't believe that he had known this girl for such a short time and yet felt so at ease and peaceful when he was with her. And although he didn't know it, she was wondering the very same thing.

The trip to the gym was fairly uneventful after that, it was about fifteen minutes walking distance from the apartment. The gym itself was rather impressive, state of the art weight machines, free weights, and an entire room filled with cardio machines like treadmills and stair masters. Although Harry was fairly certain that he would never have a need for the cardio section, there was only one flat rate for membership, which Harry signed up and paid for a three-month period.

That night Harry offered to treat the girls to pizza, something to which the girls were only too glad to accept. After dinner they all sat and watched a bit of TV chatting about whatever came up. Harry had to avoid answering any question that pertained to his past and was quick to change subjects when he sensed that the conversation was heading that way. His legilimency skills were also immensely helpful in informing Harry when one of the girls was trying to "figure him out".

Soon enough, the evening grew late and the girls retired to their rooms leaving Natalie and Harry alone. Somehow in the course of the evening Harry found himself next to Natalie with his arm around her and her head resting on his chest. Harry knew that he needed to get something out of the way before he could get some sleep himself. "Natalie?" he asked.

"Mmmm?" was all the reply he received from a very relaxed looking Natalie.

"I just wanted to let you know that, even thought all my stuff is in your room, I don't have any intention of imposing myself on you. I guess I just wanted to let you know that I don't plan on spending the night with you. I figured that I would be on the couch tonight so don't worry about breaking the news or anything like that," Harry said.

Natalie moved her head off his chest and looked at Harry in the eyes and said, "You don't want to spend the night with me?"

Harry was a little surprised at the question and replied, "It's not that I don't want to spend the night with you. I just figured that you wouldn't want to spend the night with a guy you only met last night."

"Harry are you forgetting that I spent the night with you last night?" Natalie asked with a bit of mischief shining in her eyes.

Harry couldn't help but smile and say, "No, I remember that. But you know, last night there was alcohol, and passion, and I just figured that now that the moment had passed that you would be a bit put off by sleeping with someone you barely know."

Natalie didn't respond at first but after a short pause she said, "There's something about you, Harry. I can just tell that you're different from the average guy. I don't think I've ever been so open with a guy in my life, but there's just something about you. You make me feel so . . . safe and protected. I really don't know what it means, but the thought of sleeping with you isn't intimidating in the slightest. It's actually a very nice thought, something that I find myself wanting."

Harry didn't know how to respond so he just followed his instinct and kissed her. Once again the kiss was very slow and incredibly intimate. When they broke the kiss Natalie whispered, "Let's go to bed."

Harry silently nodded and followed her to her room hand in hand. As soon as he was in, Natalie closed the door and began kissing Harry again. Harry responded by trailing his hands up and across her back causing her to shiver in what he hoped to be pleasure. Harry soon broke the kiss and began trailing his lips along her jawbone and slowly to her ear lobe where he paused to kiss and nibble ever so slightly. Natalie actually let a small moan escape her lips as she pulled Harry even tighter to her body.

Harry started making his way down her neck softly kissing and lightly sucking the soft skin. Natalie's head was spinning from the pleasure that Harry was giving her, and her hands seemed to moving of their own accord as she snaked her hands under his shirt and began pulling it up. Harry broke away so Natalie could finish taking off his shirt and as soon as it was of his head he immediately went back to her soft neck as she tossed the shirt aside and began moving ever so slowly to the bed.

When they hit the edge of the bed Harry softly laid her down under him and he lowered himself onto her kissing her lips again. Natalie allowed her hands to wander across all of Harry's well toned back while his hands gently caressed the sides of her neck and face. Natalie then put her hands on Harry's chest and pushed him away from her so she could take off her shirt. As soon as it was off she pushed Harry down on the bed and laid atop him and began kissing him again. Harry's hands gently ran across her back and he soon unclasped her bra, something that Harry had heard was notoriously difficult for guys to do but which he definitely had no problem doing. A moment later the garment was tossed across the room as the two lovers each continued to explore the other's body.

After a few minutes all the remaining clothing was soon discarded and joined the rest of the clothing, decorating the bedroom floor. As Harry thrust into Natalie, with her eyes closed she opened her mouth in a silent scream. The night before and the morning were acts of passion and lust, what Harry and Natalie were doing at this time couldn't be any farther from that. This night had everything that the previous had lacked, a truly intimate connection. As Harry and Natalie climaxed they grasped onto each other and held tightly as they shuddered in pure ecstasy.

For a few minutes after they simply held onto the other not wanting the moment to end, but when Harry did finally move off her, he snuggled behind her and gently snuggled into her until they both fell asleep.

Harry fell into yet another sleep that would be free from the demons of his past. With a contented smile on his face, Harry fell into the best sleep that he had in many years.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed, expect next update in a week.