I was wrong: Gina did hang out with me, but it was just because she wanted to find out the truth about the mediator stuff, and when I told her that I wouldn't tell her until I could tell CeeCee and David and her at the same time, she decided that she wanted to see which guy was better Jake or Brad.
Disgusting. I could have given her the answer: Neither. Well, actually, Jake was okay, I suppose. Brad, well, he just wasn't. I had never really liked Brad all that much because he was a complete and total idiot.
Okay. Maybe that was a little harsh, but it was true. Brad was an idiot. I mean, he had failed both English and Spanish twice, and English is his native language, and I've heard Spanish is pretty easy to learn.
Gina was so wasting her time.
But if that's what she wanted to do, she could just go right ahead and do it. Who was I to stop her? If she wanted to hang around with two losers, it shouldn't bother me. It was her own time she was wasting, after all.
CeeCee, Adam, and Paul all made it back to Carmel by the third week of June, and we all (including Jesse) got together to celebrate a "class reunion" of sorts, meaning that we all went to the beach and hung out together on one Saturday afternoon.
Adam busied himself teaching Paul how to surf while Paul's new girlfriend, Allison, tried to get to know me and CeeCee and Gina.
You read that right. Paul has a girlfriend. She's not a mediator, but she's nice. Too nice for Paul actually. I pitied her. Not only was she too nice for Paul, but she wasn't exactly bright.
"So you and Paul knew each other in high school? What was that like?" she asked excitedly. I bet she had been designing her future house she was to share with Paul in her mind. She was probably even naming their future kids.
I tried to think up a convincing lie. It was kind of hard to think of ice cream on a day like today, when I was lying in the sun in my Calvin Klein one-piece and a sarong well, what can I say? I didn't want to freak Jesse out by exposing "too" much skin. There was, I realized, no use in telling her the truth, which was that Paul had had my boyfriend exorcised, and that he was a jerk to his younger brother, and that he once went back in time to keep Jesse from dying, because:
A) She wasn't a mediator; she wouldn't understand. Or okay, maybe she'd understand enough to think I was crazy, or
B) She and Paul weren't going to get married like she seemed to think.
I kid you not, she thought she was going to marry Paul Slater. Boy was she ever wrong.
She was nice, that was obvious, but she was more than a little in-the-dark about Paul: She was in a blackhole where he was concerned. Otherwise, she might not have wanted anything to do with him.
Allison, didn't know, like I knew, that Paul used to be a real jerk, who would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. That's been improved a little over the years, but it will never go away. Paul will never be able to love another person unconditionally. Paul will always be too selfish to commit himself fully to another person for life. He would never, I knew, risk his life for someone else. Paul's family, I knew, was not a good place to raise children if you wanted them to grow up and be at least semi-normal.
I doubted that Allison knew that.
I had to answer carefully. I didn't want to ruin what she thought she had with Paul. "He was okay," I said. "Not much different than he is now." I looked at Jesse. I could totally tell that he was listening. I think it'd be kind of naïve for me to think that he wasn't a little bit miffed to have Paul in so close a vicinity. "But I am really glad he found someone like you. You two will be great together." While it lasts, anyway, I thought to myself.
"Really? You think so?" she asked brightly. Allison was obviously not the brightest, which was kind of sad since she, like Paul, was studying to be a lawyer.
"Uh-huh. Yeah, listen. I'm going to get a Diet Coke. It was nice talking with you, Allison," I said in an effort to ditch her. I really wanted to go and talk to CeeCee, who was huddled under a huge umbrella. I wanted to see if CeeCee wanted to go with me to get a Diet Coke, since it was so hot, and she was likely to be burning up in her blue turtleneck shirt and light khaki pants.
But no. Allison wanted to tag along. I swear she was just like an older version of Debbie Mancuso, and I was supposed to be her Kelly you know, the one she was supposed to cling to and feed off of like a leech? That'd be the one.
I can sum up the situation in one word: Ew.
"Uh, hi, I don't believe I know you," CeeCee said to Allison as Allison and I walked up. CeeCee hadn't been paying too much attention to anything because she kept staring at Adam as he surfed. She was so in love with him. Did I mention that things had gotten really serious between those two? Yeah, they are. I keep waiting for CeeCee to call me and tell me that they're engaged, but she says that she and Adam want to wait until they're out of college and have jobs and whatnot.
Well at least they'd been talking about marriage. Jesse hadn't even said the M word to me. Ever. Well, he had, back when he was a ghost, and he was telling me how I needed to be with someone alive so I could get married and have kids.
But now he was alive, and we were together, so what gives?
"I'm Allison. Paul's girlfriend. You know Paul, right?"
"Yeah, I know him," CeeCee said. It was obvious she didn't really like Allison all that much. Apparently, CeeCee also sensed the Debbie Mancuso likeness in Allison.
Or maybe it was because Allison was in her way of seeing Adam surf.
Eventually, when Allison realized that I wasn't actually going to get a Diet Coke, she left to go see Paul, who'd given up on learning to surf.
I called Gina over. She came running over from her towel, where she'd been stretched out, getting a tan.
"There's something I need to explain to you guys later on when we get back to my house," I said. There was no use in beating around the bush. They needed to know. If I couldn't tell my mom, I could at least tell my best friends. "I hope it's okay if I let David come in, too. I think he needs to know what I'm going to tell you just about as much as you guys want to."
"It's the mediator thing, isn't it?" CeeCee said.
"It is," I said.
"Simon has owed me a huge explanation for a really long time," Gina explained. "I used to see her come into school with dark circles around her eyes, and she was always late for class."
"Gina, cut it out!" I said.
"Well, you're going to tell CeeCee anyway," she said.
While CeeCee and Gina started talking about how unfair I was for not letting them in on my secret a long time ago, I went over to see how Jesse was.
"Hey," I said, sitting down next to him. He seemed to be in deep thought. He thinks a lot sometimes. I think he misses his family, or maybe he wishes he could find some friends of his own. Since he doesn't want to be friends with guys like Brad and Jake the kind of guys who wear baggy pants and say swear words in front of girls and basically have no manners at all he's pretty much stuck with being friends with CeeCee, Adam, David, Paul, Father Dominic, and me. He had a few casual buddies in some of his medical classes, but no real friends.
"Hello, Susannah," he said, dazed. I watched as he moved his gaze from the ocean to me. The wind tugged a little at his hair, which looked kind of curly and messy, but in a good way.
"You okay?" I asked.
"I'm fine. I just want to go somewhere a little more peaceful is all," he said. What? Was he insane? The beach was peaceful. There could be nothing more peaceful than a sunny, warm day on a California beach with the waves crashing in slowly, while the rest of the ocean sparkled and flashed Morse-code SOSs at you.
"Peaceful…where?"
"I'll show you," he said, getting up. He took my hand and pulled me off of the towel, which was good because I was so sun-drunk I did not want to move.
I followed him to a really quiet, really secluded place on the beach.
"Here," he said. "I love it here. It's so relaxing. I was worried that it had disappeared since…" He trailed off, but I knew what he meant. "But it's still here."
"Yeah it is. Relaxing, I mean," my voice was kind of squeaky. I hate it when that happens. I also hate it when I don't say things the right way just because Jesse's around. "What were you thinking about? Back there" I pointed to the spot on the beach where all my friends were "I mean?"
"Oh…that. It is nothing, Susannah."
"Jesse," I said. "If there's anything wrong, you can tell me." I put my arms around him, hoping that a little contact would help him come around.
No such luck. "Nothing is wrong with me, querida," he said, stroking my hair. He pushed some of my hair out of my face and kissed me. "Nothing at all," he said with a smile.