Disclaimer: How I wish I owned the characters from the Harry Potter series... but I did kidnap Oliver and put him in my closet next to my daisy duck stuffed animal! ... I mean... I didn't kidnap him... he walked in there on his own... Oh wait! Time to change his water dish! Excuse me!
A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I've had a serious case of laziness, not to mention school is about to start. It definitely has a way of creeping up on us, doesn't it? Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Mwahahahahaha, I love being evil! Don't forget to R&R either!
Professor Severus Snape was on a mission. One that he definitely had not foreseen. With amazing stealth and the grace of a panther, he crept back slowly to the entrance, away from the Headmaster of the prestigious school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If he wasn't trying to sneak by the unsuspecting¡K what would he call them? Oh yes, the term that his employer used was "couple-to-be." Anyway, if he wasn't trying to sneak by the unsuspecting 'couple-to-be' inconspicuously, he would have let out a string of vocabulary that would undoubtedly bring him unwanted attention.
He sighed again after escaping the somewhat smothering environment of the Three Broomsticks. Usually he welcomed the quiet chatter among the scattered groups seated at the booths as he enjoyed his mug of butterbeer. Today, however, it was more like a jail cell. Why did he have to do this again? Ah yes, a manipulative headmaster and that stupid Gryffindor cat¡K
He waited just outside the doorway within the shadows. So far, the two seemed to be¡K getting along? They don't seem to be talking, but Wood's lucky that he hadn't already been hexed. No one knew Hermione's temper like Snape did. After all, before Oliver came, he was whom she usually directed her anger towards. A quirky and rare smile invaded his face against his will as he recalled a certain prank war between the two. Ah yes, he discovered that purple hair definitely did not match his skin tone. Thank goodness now there is someone else for her to torture with the skills she'd acquired with all those advanced charms and transfiguration classes.
He was pulled out of his flashbacks with a sudden loud crash from within. 'That's my cue,' he thought bitterly to himself. With that and an uncharacteristic Gryffindor courage, he walked onto the battlefield¡K
* * *
All right, her patience was definitely running thin. This man is possibly the most boring person she had ever met. Can't he say anything or at least try to make conversation? You'd think some big shot ex-Quidditch player would be a bit more interesting. Honestly, it's not like she'd beat him up if he'd made civil conversation. It's just that most of the time he's rude.
She sighed. It seemed like Severus wasn't going to come rescue her anytime soon. She would have to be the one to at least start talking. Honestly, isn't this supposed to be the gentleman's job? "So¡K how was the famous Quidditch life?" All right, so she wasn't the best at starting conversations, but almost all her life, she had met mannered gentlemen who would be the conversation starter and keep her entertained. It's not her fault that there was absolutely nothing interesting about this man except a history of Quidditch and a somewhat handsome appearance. 'And it is only somewhat¡K really it is¡K' she thought as she waited for him to answer.
"Well, there was Quidditch, what can I say? It is the main passion in my life. But I don't know, I'm really getting used to teaching too. All the kids are great around here. A lot of talent too. Like the other day, the Gryffindor Seeker, Kevin did this amazing¡K" she stopped listening from then on. With her experience with Harry and Ron, she knew that this is just going to be useless talk in the "Quidditch language." She rolled her eyes and suddenly found her nails very interesting.
"As I thought, all Quidditch and no brains¡K" she muttered under her breath. Of course, she thought that no one had heard her, and so she was completely surprised when there was suddenly a hand slammed on the table across from her. Abruptly, she looked up to gaze into furious, and surprisingly enough, seemingly attractive cinnamon eyes¡K
* * *
He had never seen a more impolite woman in his life. At first, he had been thrilled that she voluntarily start a conversation. But her reaction when he started pouring his feelings out? She may be pretty, but this seemingly impossible friendship is definitely not going to happen with that rotten attitude of hers. He'd had enough from her.
With a palm slapped against the wooden table between them, he stood and held her stare. When she was confused, she almost looked¡K innocent and harmless. But he knew better. "You listen to me, Madam Granger," he spat out her title as if it were poison. "I may not be your best pal, heck, I'm probably not even your friend. But I am a decent person that deserves better than this attitude of yours. Now, if there are no other insults you would like to say to me, I'll be leaving!" With that, Oliver Wood left Hermione with her mouth flapping open and close like a codfish.
* * *
"Woah, can you believe that?" Kevin said as he leaned over the table so far that he nearly knocked the drinks over. "Professor Wood totally lost it! Oh look, he's walking out. Dang, I was hoping to see whether or not 'Mione could hold on her own in a fight."
"I know, man, imagine if she could actually beat Professor Wood up. That'll be the day! Maybe we should have egged them on! It would have been one hell of a show!" Rick agreed with his best friend, now leaning over his girlfriend, Cammy, to get a closer look.
"You guys! That's awful! Besides, Professor Wood is too much of a gentleman to hit a girl!" Cassidy said with a distant, dreamy look in her eyes.
"Oh please! You should have seen him at the Quidditch tournament a few years back. Man, the way he knocked that beater off her broom!" Rick said with a twinkle in his eyes. "It's like he always says, 'All is fair in Quidditch and... Quidditch!'"
"Isn't it 'All is fair in love and war?'" Cammy said with narrow eyes as she tried to recall the famous quote. She was certain it was love and war.
"Yea, but it's Professor Wood, what did you expect?" Kevin said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Now, we need a plan to get those two together without getting caught, which means everything has to be done right, all the proper calculations have to be made, now I've got a plan, but it's pretty sketchy and you all know how wonderful I am at details." All heads then turned to Cammy, who was trying to avoid the task.
"Fine, I'll help, as long as it's not something stupid like having them bump into each other every two seconds until they think that destiny has brought them together," she said while rolling her eyes. Why are men so stupid?
"Actually..." Kevin said sheepishly. An unusual silence rippled throughout the booth.
"... You've got to be kidding." Already, Cammy could see that this is a disaster just waiting to happen.
* * *
"Well, that was... unexpected," Minerva McGonagall said in a state of shock as she observed the scene in front of her. Two of the best pupils she had ever had the pleasure of teaching just did not seem to get along. She honestly don't understand how her employer could possibly think they would find interest in each other.
"I would say so. I remember Oliver as a calm, collected kind of guy, well, except when it came to Quidditch," Professor Flitwick replied while shuddering at the memories of the Oliver Wood that he knew from Hogwarts. The Oliver Wood that had the insane look in his eyes whenever a match was approaching. If only he had that type of dedication towards Charms...
"Love always makes people act in... irrational ways." Dumbledore tried his hardest to encourage his fellow conspirators. Certainly, he cannot let them be discouraged because of this... this... can he call it a lover's spat? "Look, there's Severus walking towards Hermione. Maybe he can get us some information on the matter. Can't you just feel the love in the air? You know, I was thinking. Maybe we can use the old trick where we lock them in a closet and not let them out until they work out their issues and fall hopelessly in love with each other. Of course, to spice things up, we can put Fluffy in there too. Then maybe Oliver can play hero, get hurt and have Hermione play nurse! Then during the time she takes care of him, they will see how they were meant for each other."
"Albus?"
"Yes, Minerva?"
"You're sick."
"No, actually, I'm quite healthy, but thank you for your concern all the same."
With that, the experienced Transfiguration Professor fought down the urge to turn the Headmaster into an ant and step on him repeatedly. 'I really need to look into that anger management class that Severus was talking about...' she thought as another image of Dumbledore the ant smiling deviously at her emerged.
* * *
Fortunately for Oliver, Severus Snape chose to step in right after he heard the outburst, or else he would have had a very heavy object chucked at his head... Because it hit Snape instead. As he approached the seething girl, he whispered a silent prayer... that he at least live through this. "I'm guessing that it would be beneficial to my health not to ask if you are all right."
"Where were you? Do you know what I had to sit through? Goodness, you're a Potions Master for goodness' sake! Can't you walk a bit faster?" Of course, he didn't understand what his occupation had anything to do with his speed, but fearing his life, he just agreed and apologized amiably. "Can you believe how that... that... thing publicly humiliated me? My goodness, talk about being rude!"
Here goes nothing, he thought to himself. He gulped down the fear at his throat and decided that what he was about to say proved himself to be brave enough to have been sorted into Gryffindor. "Perhaps he had some truth. I mean, you're not exactly polite to him..." His throat was hoarse and his voice trailed off at Hermione's glare.
"What?" she whispered in deadly hiss. Maybe she should have been sorted into Slytherin. Was this how that fool Longbottom felt around him? No wonder he always messed up his potions.
"Uh... What I mean to say is... uh... maybe you should give him a second chance. You know how uh... men are. They're dense and the scum of the earth so uh... just give him a chance and... start over...? ... Maybe?" There, he said it. Albus definitely owed him about a hundred.
He could see in her facial expression that she was silently contemplated this possibility. Could she forgive him? Now that Severus puts it this way, I have been awfully rude. Well... maybe... "Fine. I'll try, but he has to cooperate also. I'll apologize for being rude, but he better not make some smart comment. I can kind of understand why he would be offended. I mean, like you said, men are dense and just scum. They're born that way, it's not like it's their fault..."
He began to change his mind about her. Maybe she wasn't as annoying as he thought. I mean, she's reasonable enough to be willing to apologize. Maybe he misread her when he thought of her as nothing but a nuisance.
"Oh Severus, I'm so glad I have you to talk to. A guy could never understand me the way you do. Hon., you're practically, like, my best friend. I'm so glad that I have someone sensible to talk to about my problems. Thank goodness you're nothing like a man."
With that, Hermione reached over the table and gave him a hug. As her cheek pressed again his in the show of affection and her arms wrapped around his neck, there was only one thought on his mind...
'... Annoying little brat.'