AN: It's been a while! Sorry! Here's the next part! Enjoy!
Chapter 10: Rumor Mills and Singing PJ's
Considering the fact that their last plan blew up in their faces, the "alliance" (one that Professor Snape had deemed unholy) did what they thought was best (though the ones with actual sanity thought it was absurd): the effective use of peer pressure. With Rick and Kevin's famous motor-mouths, it was not long until the entire school buzzed with condensed and stretched versions about the "escapade" of the two favorite staff members. By dinnertime that night, both parties of the incident had more or less heard the stories going around by the minute. Of course, one took it better than the other.
Two guesses who.
"So," Hermione began as she took her usual seat between Oliver and Severus, "have you heard that we have used the boys' locker room as our secret snogging spot for the past month? I find it odd, considering I heard this from another source and did not know of it first-hand. What do you think, Oliver?"
"With a sound close to a snort, Oliver turned his attention away from the carrots to make his point. "You thought that was bad. From what I've heard, we were shagging mindlessly—ow! It's not like I was the one who said it!" he protested at the pain shooting up his leg.
"Awww, is the big, tough ex-pro-quidditch player hurt by a little girl like me? Hermione said mockingly.
"Girl? Devil's more like it! I—mean an angel. There's just this light around you, Hermione. Have you changed skin products?" After months of sitting next to the volatile woman, Oliver had learned the importance of self-preservation and the quick change of topic.
"Seriously though, the rumor mill is getting ridiculous. Merlin! I can't imagine being known eternally as the medi-witch who shagged the flying instructor in the shower stalls." At this, the humble Hermione buried her blushing, embarrassed face in her hands.
"So it would be okay for you to be the medi-witch shagging the flying instructor, just not in the shower stalls? Well, Hermione. I didn't know you were interested. I would have—"
"Wood?" Snape, who'd been silent up to this point, interrupted.
"Yes, Severus?"
"This would be a good place to stop if you would like to avoid indescribable pain," the potions master said casually as if he'd just commented on the weather.
At this, Oliver looked over at Hermione and sure enough, that glare was in tact.
"Yea, I think I'll shut up now." Obviously, he still had much to learn.
"Well, looks like our plan is working," the headmaster said, excited that something had finally gone his way.
Minerva looked over at the couple and immediately became confused. "Albus, they're just talking."
"Oh Minerva. Sweet, naïve Minerva. They may be just talking, but we can all hear the hidden sexual tension beneath their tones. Yes, they're falling in love quite nicely."
Minerva, who'd been doubtful of the plan in the first place (in fact, she barred the door so they couldn't escape, but Hagrid lifted her like a sack of screaming potatoes), was even more skeptical now. "Oh Albus, you're getting old. You can't possibly still have such good hearing to know what they're saying over this ruckus."
With a cheerful grin, Dumbledore revealed his secret. "Not with the all new travel-size extendable ears for spying and other trouble-making now available at the nearest Weasley Wizard Wheezes for 3 galleons and 4 knuts. However, if you order by owl in the next 2 days, they'll throw in these awesome blue, singing bunny pajama pants! All for just 4 galleons!" At this, he lifted part of his robe to show her the merchandise. Sure enough, against a dark blue background, furry little bunny-like objects broke out in a rowdy, yet squeaky-sounding chorus of "My Girl Wants to Party All the Time" by the muggle entertainer, Eddie Murphy.
"What are you, a walking, talking, singing-pajama-wearing advertisement?"
"They pay me by commission. So how about it, Minnie? Can I put you down for the ears and pants?"
"I'd rather not," she said as she returned to her food, obviously wanting to end the strange conversation.
"But then we can match!" he said enthusiastically.
"Exactly," she replied briskly, ending the exchange.
A brief silence followed until she heard Dumbledore turn and say, "So Severus, how do you feel about blue, singing pajama pants. They're silky!"
"How did the rumors get so bad?" Kathy, one of the Gryffindor beaters, asked.
"Well, you give us a job, we'll get it done right!" Kevin said proudly with a grin and gave his best friend a high five.
"You didn't do anything right! You were only supposed to tell what happened, not stretch it to sex and marriage and what not! We're going to be expelled! I just know it!" Cammy cried. Seeing his distressed girlfriend, Rick quickly put his arm around her shoulder and abandoned his momentary spike of pride.
"We won't get expelled. We're working with Dumbledore, remember? You can't get expelled for doing what the Headmaster agrees to," Cassie said, taking pity on the high-strung girl. The involvement of other faculty members seemed to calm the bookworm a bit and she returned to her dinner. "So, oh brilliant mastermind. What now?"
Kevin smiled his 100-watt smile and girls from all the way across the room sighed in admiration. "Don't worry, I have a plan."
Cammy quickly put her forehead against the table, not caring that she landed on the mashed potatoes. "We're screwed."
Chapter 10: Rumor Mills and Singing PJ's
Considering the fact that their last plan blew up in their faces, the "alliance" (one that Professor Snape had deemed unholy) did what they thought was best (though the ones with actual sanity thought it was absurd): the effective use of peer pressure. With Rick and Kevin's famous motor-mouths, it was not long until the entire school buzzed with condensed and stretched versions about the "escapade" of the two favorite staff members. By dinnertime that night, both parties of the incident had more or less heard the stories going around by the minute. Of course, one took it better than the other.
Two guesses who.
"So," Hermione began as she took her usual seat between Oliver and Severus, "have you heard that we have used the boys' locker room as our secret snogging spot for the past month? I find it odd, considering I heard this from another source and did not know of it first-hand. What do you think, Oliver?"
"With a sound close to a snort, Oliver turned his attention away from the carrots to make his point. "You thought that was bad. From what I've heard, we were shagging mindlessly—ow! It's not like I was the one who said it!" he protested at the pain shooting up his leg.
"Awww, is the big, tough ex-pro-quidditch player hurt by a little girl like me? Hermione said mockingly.
"Girl? Devil's more like it! I—mean an angel. There's just this light around you, Hermione. Have you changed skin products?" After months of sitting next to the volatile woman, Oliver had learned the importance of self-preservation and the quick change of topic.
"Seriously though, the rumor mill is getting ridiculous. Merlin! I can't imagine being known eternally as the medi-witch who shagged the flying instructor in the shower stalls." At this, the humble Hermione buried her blushing, embarrassed face in her hands.
"So it would be okay for you to be the medi-witch shagging the flying instructor, just not in the shower stalls? Well, Hermione. I didn't know you were interested. I would have—"
"Wood?" Snape, who'd been silent up to this point, interrupted.
"Yes, Severus?"
"This would be a good place to stop if you would like to avoid indescribable pain," the potions master said casually as if he'd just commented on the weather.
At this, Oliver looked over at Hermione and sure enough, that glare was in tact.
"Yea, I think I'll shut up now." Obviously, he still had much to learn.
"Well, looks like our plan is working," the headmaster said, excited that something had finally gone his way.
Minerva looked over at the couple and immediately became confused. "Albus, they're just talking."
"Oh Minerva. Sweet, naïve Minerva. They may be just talking, but we can all hear the hidden sexual tension beneath their tones. Yes, they're falling in love quite nicely."
Minerva, who'd been doubtful of the plan in the first place (in fact, she barred the door so they couldn't escape, but Hagrid lifted her like a sack of screaming potatoes), was even more skeptical now. "Oh Albus, you're getting old. You can't possibly still have such good hearing to know what they're saying over this ruckus."
With a cheerful grin, Dumbledore revealed his secret. "Not with the all new travel-size extendable ears for spying and other trouble-making now available at the nearest Weasley Wizard Wheezes for 3 galleons and 4 knuts. However, if you order by owl in the next 2 days, they'll throw in these awesome blue, singing bunny pajama pants! All for just 4 galleons!" At this, he lifted part of his robe to show her the merchandise. Sure enough, against a dark blue background, furry little bunny-like objects broke out in a rowdy, yet squeaky-sounding chorus of "My Girl Wants to Party All the Time" by the muggle entertainer, Eddie Murphy.
"What are you, a walking, talking, singing-pajama-wearing advertisement?"
"They pay me by commission. So how about it, Minnie? Can I put you down for the ears and pants?"
"I'd rather not," she said as she returned to her food, obviously wanting to end the strange conversation.
"But then we can match!" he said enthusiastically.
"Exactly," she replied briskly, ending the exchange.
A brief silence followed until she heard Dumbledore turn and say, "So Severus, how do you feel about blue, singing pajama pants. They're silky!"
"How did the rumors get so bad?" Kathy, one of the Gryffindor beaters, asked.
"Well, you give us a job, we'll get it done right!" Kevin said proudly with a grin and gave his best friend a high five.
"You didn't do anything right! You were only supposed to tell what happened, not stretch it to sex and marriage and what not! We're going to be expelled! I just know it!" Cammy cried. Seeing his distressed girlfriend, Rick quickly put his arm around her shoulder and abandoned his momentary spike of pride.
"We won't get expelled. We're working with Dumbledore, remember? You can't get expelled for doing what the Headmaster agrees to," Cassie said, taking pity on the high-strung girl. The involvement of other faculty members seemed to calm the bookworm a bit and she returned to her dinner. "So, oh brilliant mastermind. What now?"
Kevin smiled his 100-watt smile and girls from all the way across the room sighed in admiration. "Don't worry, I have a plan."
Cammy quickly put her forehead against the table, not caring that she landed on the mashed potatoes. "We're screwed."