--About two and a half years later. This is five years after Twilight!--

Chapter Eighteen

"Oh my God, Simon," CeeCee said holding up a handbag and turning to me. "When did this happen?"

Gina and I turned away from a rack of Kate Spade and Coach bags in a store at the mall in Carmel to look at the bag CeeCee was holding up. I gasped in shock. She was holding up one of my newest designs--a little clutch, designed with the upcoming prom season in mind. I hadn't expected to see it there, among all the famous labels. I was still in college, after all. I was going to start my last semester in January, but still. I had only designed a few bags, a skirt, and a sweater. That's not exactly anything that would make a fashion student famous, you know.

"Oh, that," I said. "Last month."

"You know, this is your fifth bag in two and a half years, along with that cute black denim miniskirt and that chartreuse scoop neck cashmere sweater," CeeCee said. "You only have one more semester to go, and then you're finished with school. Don't you think it's time you let me do an article for the paper? I'll call it Local Design Student Has It In The Bag. I'll even include a picture of you, along with a picture of some of your stuff. What do you say? Any word yet on getting your own line of clothes and stuff? Your own label, I mean."

Gina raised her eyebrows, one of which she'd had pierced recently. She had been living in San Francisco with me for the past two and a half years, visiting Carmel in the summer and on the weekends, but she still wasn't used to CeeCee's sudden bursts of inspiration. CeeCee had been working for the Carmel Pine Cone for the last year, and she would do anything for an excuse to write about something other than drowned tourists and wind chime thefts.

"I don't know," I said. "I though Macy's was supposed to pick up one of my jackets I designed, but no word from them yet."

"But you wouldn't mind me doing an article would you?" CeeCee asked hopefully.

"I guess not," I said. I knew it would make CeeCee happy if I allowed her to do an article for me.

Gina looked down at her watch. "Yo, Simon, we need to meet your mom at that bridal shop in half an hour," she said.

"Oh yeah, and I still have to get Jesse's Christmas presents," I said.

"What are you buying him?" Gina asked. "Because if you are buying him CDs again, I really do think you should get him something else. You bought him CDs last Christmas, and for his birthday. Maybe you should buy him something else…"

"Like what?" I asked.

"I don't know. Another book? He likes to read those intellectual books doesn't he? Those books that only he and David get," she said, wrinkling her nose. "I don't see how you stand it."

"Yeah," I said, choosing to ignore her last comment. "But you don't understand. He loves all sorts of music. I mean, he likes classical music, and Smashing Pumpkins, Zwan, A Perfect Circle--stuff I'd never listen to if he didn't listen to it all the time because I wouldn't even know it existed--and he loves Nirvana, strangely enough. And he doesn't mind my Madonna CDs, and he listens to old rock music, and lots of Mozart, and he could never have enough CDs," I explained. "I'd hate to buy him another book. Not without buying him a CD or something to go with it. Besides, he's been too busy to read."

It was true. Jesse had loved the CDs Gina had lent him. He loved them so much, in fact, he tried to find out about all the bands and their music. He also tried to find more music to listen to, resulting in a massive CD collection. He had also, over the last two and a half years, acquired a large collection of books, ranging from Stephen King novels to nonfiction to philosophy to books about the end of the world. It was also true that Jesse had been very busy with his new job--working as an emergency room doctor in the hospital in downtown Carmel, incidentally the same hospital Paul and I had driven him to that night that seemed to be so long ago. Jesse and I had also been very busy planning our wedding, which was to take place on June 11, a Wednesday. As we'd found on a Website for wedding traditions:

Married in the month of roses--June,

Life will be one long honeymoon.

And then there was this:

Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday the best day of all.
Thursday for losses,
Friday for crosses,
And Saturday no luck at all.

We hoped we'd made the right decision, because once the wedding date is set, it's not supposed to be changed for anything--another bad-luck thing to do. Changing the date of the wedding, I mean.

So I went to the CD store and bought Jesse a CD--one I hoped he didn't all ready have--to go with a book I had also bought him, a book about the Vietnam War, which David had discussed at length after his graduation ceremony. Lame, I know, but what else was I supposed to buy him?

We all--Gina, CeeCee, and me--piled in my car and drove over to the bridal shop my mom was waiting at in downtown Carmel. We had to buy a lot of dresses for my wedding--and for CeeCee's wedding, so CeeCee and I had been doing a lot of our bridal shopping together. Gina was a bridesmaid in both mine and CeeCee's wedding. CeeCee was a bridesmaid in my wedding, and I was the maid--or rather, I would be the matron of honor in her wedding because Jesse and I were getting married sooner; CeeCee had joked that a matron of honor is luckier than a maid of honor, since the matron is supposed to be happily married (she said that Jesse and I didn't need luck, but she and Adam might)--of honor in her wedding. So we had to buy a total of six dresses for ourselves, and my mom needed one for my wedding. Seven dresses. The clerks at the counter would have thought we were crazy if we were buying them right then--our plan was to put the dresses on layaway since they were so expensive.

Yes, you read all that right. CeeCee and Adam were going to tie the knot a month or two after Jesse and I got married.

Mom met us at the store, and then she went to go and pick out her own dress, leaving us girls to shop for ourselves. I was glad I had all that money saved up from my purses. This wedding was going to make a huge dent in my bank account.

But it was totally worth it.

"What kind of male strippers do you want at your bachelorette party?" CeeCee asked, fingering the skirt of a green bridesmaid's dress.

"None," I said. I doubted Jesse would go for that kind of thing. Besides, could any man on the face of the planet look better naked? I think not. Okay, so maybe I haven't actually seen Jesse full-Monty, but a girl can daydream, right?

"Ooh! I know," Gina said to CeeCee conspiratorially, "How about a guy dressed as a police officer?"

"Why?" CeeCee asked, not getting it.

"Free handcuffs, dude," Gina said with a grin.

"Well, in that case, we need to get Suze a man dressed in a prisoner's costume. He comes with handcuffs and prison shackles!" CeeCee said, giggling. "I want a…oh I don't know! Knowing my luck, Adam would show up, dressed as Frankenstein, and I'd have to explain to him why I was having a bachelorette party…after I pummeled him for being a male stripper."

"Now that's kinky," Gina said.

"No, no," I said joining in on the joke. "We need a doctor."

"A doctor? Why? You're going to have one on your own after the wedding…" CeeCee said.

"'An apple a day keeps the doctor away,' but if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit!" I said, thinking about Jesse.

"No, screw the doctor!" Gina said. At least she was honest.

"Gina!" I couldn't believe she'd said that. Not in a store. The clerks at the counter looked at us, as if to say, We hope you're buying something, if not, never come here again. Brides-to-be are supposed to be civilized, not making jokes about strippers.

"Girls," Mom called from a few racks away, "Are we being naughty?" But she meant it to be funny.

We burst out laughing.

"Naughty? Us, no, Mom," I said. "We were just having a friendly discussion about men…"

"And body parts," Gina said.

"Shut up," CeeCee hissed. The other customers--not just the flunkies behind the counter--were starting to look at us as if we were insane. Which given that two of us were brides-to-be, we probably were.

Insane, I mean.

I went back to looking at dresses. I wanted a white silk dress that didn't show too much, if you know what I mean. I'd accidentally worn a two-piece bathing suit to the beach once with Jesse, and he'd been all like, "Nombre de Dios, Susannah, where did your clothes go? Are you sure that is--I don't know--legal?"

Then I had to explain to him that it was a bathing suit--not my underwear--and that since it didn't show any private areas, it was legal. Which was, needless to say, totally embarrassing.

But remind me not to leave any Victoria's Secret catalogues lying around when he comes over to my place. I'd hate to scar him for life, and he undoubtedly would be if he got a good luck at the underwear section of that catalogue.

As I looked at all the dresses--there were a good many to choose from--I didn't see any I really liked enough to wear. The dress for my wedding to Jesse had to be just like our relationship--special, unique, even.

"How about this dress, Susie?" Mom asked, holding up a light green dress. "Or did you want to wear white?"

"White," I said. Then I recited,

"Married in white,
You have chosen all right.

Married in green,
Ashamed to be seen.

Married in red,
You will wish yourself dead.

Married in blue,
You will always be true.

Married in yellow,
Ashamed of your fellow.

Married in black,
You will wish yourself back.

Married in pink,
Of you he'll think."

Gina looked at me with her eyebrows raised. "Girl, I told you you needed to just go to the magistrate's office or to a notary public, get the marriage license, sign it, and be done with it if you're just going to stay up all night reading all those stupid superstitions on the Internet," she said.

"But I wanted Father Dominic to do the ceremony," I said.

"Why? You're not even a Christian, much less a Catholic," CeeCee pointed out. She and Adam were also having a wedding ceremony, but theirs was going to be a simple wedding, with only two bridesmaids, a best-man, and a few guests. It was for my mom's--and Jesse's--sake that I was going through with the whole huge wedding ordeal. Just the thought of walking to the altar made me cringe. Then there were all of those superstitions, which weren't helping any. The wedding--along with the mall, Christmas, and finals--was starting to give me hives. I'm not kidding. I totally had to chill out and not worry to make the hives go away because disfiguring skin rashes really suck.

I know because I still want to throw up every time I think about poison oak.

"Jesse is Catholic," I said. "He wants Father D to do the ceremony, and I don't mind. I like Father Dom."

"What about this one, Suze?" Gina said, holding up a pretty satin dress.

"Satin is unlucky. I want silk," I said.

"You're still using my veil, aren't you, Suze?" Mom asked, referring to the veil she'd worn to her wedding with Andy.

"Yeah. The older the luckier," I said.

"Don't you think you should try it on then?" Mom asked.

"No. I'm not supposed to wear it before the wedding day," I said. "Or at least only at the most necessary of fittings, and never at the same time as the dress."

"Okay, well, you're borrowing the veil, so now you just need something old and something blue," CeeCee said sarcastically. "Everything else is supposed to be new."

I looked at her severely. "Don't start--" I said.

"Relax, Simon. Jeez. I was just kidding," she said.

"What color are us bridesmaids wearing again?" Gina asked.

"Blue," I said.

"Then I have the perfect dress, I think. Here, look at this," Gina said. She was holding up a very beautiful blue dress.

"Perfect. I almost wish I were a bridesmaid," I said. "I still can't find a dress I like."

"Why don't you design your own?" CeeCee asked.

"I could, but it's unlucky," I said.

"'Tis true," Gina said. "She would be damning herself to a life of poverty, according to the superstitious women of the Victorian era."

They burst out laughing, having a joke at my expense.

"Oh, Suze, really. It's okay. You have six months left," CeeCee said. "To plan, I mean. You don't really believe in all those superstitions now do you?"

"Not really," I said. "I just don't want to take any chances."

"What are you so worried about?" Gina said. "It's not like you're not sure that Jesse is The One. The One you will spend your eternity with, according to Madame Zara, so don't start with that whole 'but he could leave me for someone better' crap again. It's so patently untrue and you know it."

But it was too late. I was going to flip out again if I stayed in that store any longer. "You know what? I don't see anything I want here, so I'm just going to go wait in the car…" I said. I lowered my voice so that only Gina could hear. "Don't mention Madame Zara--or anything else about that--here. Not in front of Mom."

"Oh no you don't. You're not going anywhere," CeeCee said. "If I'm stuck in here, you are, too, Simon. Oops. I meant de Silva."

"Don't," I said. "It's unlucky to call a woman--"

"By her betrothed's surname until it is officially her name as well," Gina said, rolling her eyes. I'd told her that a number of times when she'd jokingly called me Mrs. De Silva.

"Oh, Susie! What about this dress? I think you'd be lovely in it," my mom said, holding up a strapless Natalia Misslin dress with flowers stitched into a few places on the skirt. It was perfect, except I thought it needed a fuller skirt.

"It's beautiful," CeeCee gasped.

"But it needs a fuller skirt," I said.

"Well you could do that yourself," Gina said. "It wouldn't count as making your own dress."

"Okay," I said. "That's the dress."

So then someone came over to help me try on the dress, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I wondered what Jesse would have thought, even if he wasn't supposed to see me in the dress before the wedding. I mean, I looked pretty good in that dress, if I may say so myself.

"It's perfect, Susie," Mom said. "Just perfect for you, just like Jesse."

And with that, I started to cry, only from joy instead of sadness.

CeeCee and Gina said nothing, only nodded in agreement.