Near Buffalo
Some time later, and hundreds of miles down the highway, they stopped at a roadside diner.
One of those roadside diners in the middle of nowhere, the ones that used to be a streetcar.
"Sort of like the one that opened in Westbridge last year," thought Sabrina. "Like the one I hung out at after Aunt Hilda closed her coffee house, and started working at Scorch magazine."
She was interrupted in her thoughts by the waitress, a middle aged, heavy-set woman.
"What would you like, honey?" she asked.
"Well I don't want honey," said Sabrina, as the waitress gave a tolerant smile. "But I will have some of your all day pancakes, no, never pancakes, I mean your all day French toast."
"Yeah, sure, honey. And you?" she asked Harvey.
"I'll have your Quintuple Decker Sandwich," he answered. "With everything on it."
"And I'll have," said a voice from the backpack beside Sabrina, "the Tuna surprise."
"Salem!" said both Sabrina and Harvey at once.
"No, honey, your south of Buffalo, your not in Salem," said the waitress, calmly.
"Thanks," Sabrina said, as the waitress gave them a look. The waitress left. Harvey stared at Salem with eyes bugged out.
"What are you doing here?" whispered Sabrina angrily.
"How did you get here?" asked Harvey, still bug eyed.
"Just tagged along. Anyway, what's with this Las Vegas kick? You know how irritating it is to travel three thousand miles in a knapsack? Why not go to Niagara Falls, it's the honeymoon capital of the world, it has a couple of casinos. Why not shuffle off to Buffalo?
"I'll shuffle you off," said Sabrina, zapping Salem, only to find that he didn't disappear.
"Sorry Sabrina, your Aunt Zelda zapped me here with a yenta spell. I'm your Aunt appointed chaperone until you get to Vegas. And I get to the blackjack tables and the slot machines, yeah.
"Where do you and Aunt Zelda come off doing this to me?" asked Sabrina.
"Your Aunt Zelda has 14th century ideas about these things, mainly because that old maid is from the 14th century. As for me, do you think I want to stay around you mushy love birds? I wanted you to marry Harvey, but I didn't want to tag along while you eloped."
"That makes two of us," said Sabrina.
"Three," said Harvey, getting over his shock.
"Don't worry Sabrina, I'll make it up to you," said Salem.
How are you gonna make it up Salem? Give me some more of the birthday money you stole?" asked Sabrina sarcastically.
"Nope. Got an old friend in Las Vegas. Owns the The Sharper Juice Joint Hotel. Bugsy Sharper. He'll put you up for free."
"What's the catch?" asked Sabrina suspiciously.
"No catch," said Salem. "Here's the brochure."
Salem threw a glossy maroon pamphlet out of the knapsack. Sabrina and Harvey looked at it. It featured a gangster holding a machine gun, with shoes in concrete, on the front sign. The building itself was a large art-deco high rise. Picture showed the hotel's large casino, fancy dining room, some other restaurants, and a bar featuring, besides the drinks, flappers dressed less than real flappers ever dressed. It showed pictures of large, luxurious rooms, with twenties style furniture. The whole hotel looked as if it had been zapped out of the nineteen twenties.
"You see," said Salem. "That's why the Aunts sent me, so I can get Bugsy to give you the hospitality of the house. Or else do you want to go a dump like the Flamingo Economy Roadside Inn," he said throwing out of the knapsack an ad for an old run-down motel.
Harvey was still studying the first brochure. 'Seems like, overall, it's a pretty cool place. I'm okay with it, if you are Sabrina."
"Hot Dawg," said Sabrina, speaking like a flapper. "I never thought I'd want to honeymoon at a glorified speakeasy, but this place, is a real ritzy joint. It's the bees knees.
"Cool," said Harvey.
"No, the sandwich is piping hot," said the waitress, returning with their food. "And honey, I wouldn't blab so loud about secretly eloping if I were you, it simply isn't traditional."
"Thanks," said Sabrina. "It isn't. That is unless we want to make a new tradition."
The waitress didn't get the humor.
"Hey, can we get an order of the Tuna Surprise?" asked Harvey, grateful to Salem for the free hotel stay.
"Okay, but you'll be surprised when you get it. And it won't be a pleasant one."
"That okay, I won't be eating it. I mean, I'll be eating it, only I won't be eating it if I not going to eat it. I mean, . . . " Harvey forgot his explanation.
Sabrina hit her forehead with her hand.
"One Tuna Surprise," said the waitress, writing it down. "You know, you two elopers are made for each other, your both strange. But then again, I've had stranger." She left, unfazed.
"Sorry, Sabrina. But in my defense, I haven't really had much experience with these explanations. You should of heard the zucchini jam one I fed Morgan."
"Or the methane-in-your-office excuse I gave Mr. Kraft. You'll get used to it. It's not as if the local paper's gonna write "Passing Biker Orders Tuna Surprise Suspiciously."