Disclaimer: As ever and always, not mine.

Warnings: Language.

Thank you to Emily, HumHum, Akennea, Vash the Humanoid Sunshower, Pia Bartolini, kaori-chan, kentoukurige, rumplestiltskin, satanira, skarlet red, link worshipper, ellen, camillian, starbugkenny, mc-88, Natasha aka: tash, Jessica Jepson, lrigelbbub, mysterious double, maladyrancor, shadow seraph, and mama-sama for reviewing!

Control Freak Part VI

"I'd offer you a cold beverage, but that would imply you're welcome to stay," Duo stated with recherché courtesy. "As it is, I'll give you a free pass to the front door, limited time offer, no strings attached." He leisurely raised himself into a sitting position, gingerly brushing his bangs from his eyes. "To make this a once in a lifetime offer, I'll even throw in a rebate good for three tutoring sessions valued at an hour apiece. We suggest that you act now because this offer is expiring fast," he concluded, eyes narrowing ominously.

"Let's go, Heero," Relena urged in a muted undertone. "We obviously made a mistake in coming here." She stood and started towards the door, Trowa moving to open it in an effort to usher them out with the utmost efficiency. His effort was thwarted, however, by the fact that only Relena seemed inclined to exit the premises.

"I didn't come here to bother you," Heero said evenly, planted so firmly in his chair that he seemed to be a permanent fixture in the apartment.

"That's funny because that's sure what you're doing," Trowa scowled, poised next to the open the door. "Now leave."

"Wait," Duo snapped, frowning briefly at his roommate. "Why did you come here, then?" he asked Heero, voice paradoxically pullulating with both apathy and curiosity.

"I wanted to apologize again and," he continued quickly, seeing the thin veneer of patience begin to slip from Duo's face, "make a peace offering. We were wondering if you'd like to join us for pizza. My treat. He can come too, if he'd like," he concluded, reluctantly including Trowa in the invitation.

Duo quirked an eyebrow, the motion barely perceptible behind the mass of hair that hung down his face. "So let me get this straight. You tracked me down like a freakin' dog, showed up completely unexpected at my home, and picked a fight with my roommate just so you could invite me to grab a slice at the local pizzeria?" He let out a sharp bark of laughter. "You, Heero, are one deranged fuck-hole of a human being. You beat the shit out of me the last time we met. Now you're offering to treat me to dinner. What'll you do for your next trick? Rip out my tibia, throw it across the room, and then offer to fetch it for me?"

"Only if you promise me a Scooby snack for doing so," Heero deadpanned. Involuntary laughter burst from the other boy, making him feel instantly more relaxed. He found himself able to grin with both open amusement and contrition. "Seriously, though, I made an ass out of myself earlier. I'd like to make amends."

"Sure, whatever," Duo said off-handedly. "Why the hell not? I've never eaten with an insane man before. Let me just grab my shit and we can go." He hauled himself to his feet and disappeared into what had to be the bedroom, leaving Heero to deal with Trowa's open animosity.

"Just to make things clear," he stated flatly, "he's still pissed. If he decides to beat your ass down once we get outside, don't say I didn't give you fair warning."

"I'll take my chances," Heero returned evenly.

"Would you two cut it out. Jesus fucking Christ, it's not like I can't hear you," Duo groused. He reentered the room, having made no visible changes to his physical appearance. "You," he glared at Trowa, "make me sound like some deranged beast that's liable to disembowel random old ladies at any given moment. And you," he turned to Heero, "talk like I'm a fire hydrant you've pissed on. I don't belong to you, you're not entitled to anything from me, and if I didn't believe you're too damned naïve to know how arrogant you come off, I would kick your ass out of here and lock the door behind you. Just to keep things straight, I'm only going with you for four reasons. One, it's better than laying here thinking about the headache you gave me. Two, I might as well get something in return for said headache. Three, it's free food. Four, I feel bad for you, you son of a bitch. I know guys like you. Once you decide something's your fault, you feel like shit until you're forgiven. I'm not enough of a sadist to let that be your problem."

Heero began to deny this estimation, but a sharp glare caused him to snap his mouth shut once more.

"This doesn't mean you're my friend or anything or even that you qualify as an acquaintance," Duo continued. "All it means is that we're even and we can finish this crappy excuse of a paper without going for each other's throats. Now let's go and get some fucking pizza so we can return to some semblance of sanity." Lecture complete, he shoved his hands into his hoodie's pocket and headed out the door, passing Relena where she hovered uncertainly in the hall.

"Are we leaving now?" she ventured hesitantly.

"You bet your fucking ass we are," Duo called over his shoulder, already half-way to the staircase.

"I really wish he wouldn't curse at me," she sighed, attaching herself to Heero's heels as he walked by.

"Maybe instead of expecting him to change for you, you should be willing to change for him," he suggested snidely. "Compromise for once."

Relena frowned. "We're going out for pizza, Heero, not getting engaged. What is wrong with you today? You're acting so odd."

"Nothing," he impassively assured her, staring after Duo as he disappeared onto the stairs. "Nothing at all."

-end part vi-

A/N: Another short one and for the same reason as last time. Sorry!