Nothing Else Matters

Chapter One: Can't Fight the Memories

"STOP!" The raven-haired 6-year-old screamed, clutching her hands to her ears in hopes of drowning out the screaming. Tears flowed freely down her fair cheeks like rivers, as she shrank to her knees, pinned against the wall. How she wanted everything to stop.

"YOU NASTY HARLOT," her father yelled at her mother, as the argued across the room, "YOU FUCKING CHEATED, CHEATED ON ME WITH MY OWN BROTHER!"

"You're a filthy hypocrite," her mother had said venomously back, "you cheated on me as well."

Her father advanced on her mother, and he shouted still louder, "MAYBE I DID, BECAUSE I COULDN'T STAND LOOKING AT YOU EVERY MORNING! You broke my heart to be with my brother, my brother , when he's a fucking low down convict who only wants you for your money. What about our children? Did you think of them when you pissed your money away on him, and his drugs?"

"Eudoxia," her mother said sweetly, now turning to face her, "I have something to tell you about your father. Do you know what cocaine is? It's a bad drug, a very bad drug and Daddy doesn't want to stop using it."

Her father had had it. Eudoxia shrieked and closed her eyes, but she could still hear the bones shattering and the wailing of her mother.

'Please make it stop,' she prayed desperately, ' Please just make it stop, just for once.'

--/

This was the household Eudoxia Acerbus had grown up in. Everyday her parents fought about this or that, and as she grew older she would drown out the sound with music, something that she lived for. She knew nothing of family life, and was left to fend for herself. That is, until she turned 11 and was hauled off to a school where they taught magic. She herself had never known she was a witch, because she of course was muggleborn. She knew about as much of her magical abilities as she did the love of friends or family.

Eudoxia was now 16. She trusted no one. She found safety in her loneliness but could she stand it much longer?

On this particular moment, the sounds of her little battery-powered muggle machine was blasting music into her ears, yet again using this to drown out the sound of anyone or anything around her. She drifted off and closed her eyes, only to have them snapped open again moments later, as she felt the presence of others in her compartment, which she valued to have for herself as she loved solitude. She pulled the headphones out of her ears and turned the machine off, and looked with questioning eyes at the intruders.

Messy and tousled jet black hair, glasses, and hazel eyes. James Potter was wearing a scowl, as he spoke to his friends.

"Sorry about that, mate," Sirius said, "didn't expect that one."

"Yeah, yeah," James grumbled, as he plopped himself down on the seat, "I don't understand why she likes him , what does he have that I don't?"

"Well, for one, he doesn't have the band of fan girls she so fondly calls Barbie Dolls following him around, he doesn't have numerous and ingenious pranks under his belt, and he doesn't have me as a best friend, which means she probably should let him go. After all, I am about the best best friend you could ever hope for."

Another boy sighed, heaving his trunk up into the head compartment.

"Sorry about them," Remus said, "how rude of us to have invaded. We were under the impression this compartment was empty. You aren't bothered by us sitting here, are you?"

She desperately wanted to say 'Yes, please get the hell away from me' but she bit her tongue and said, "Not at all."

"Hey, I know you! You're the Seeker for the Ravenclaw team!" Sirius said, "beat James last time, heh, quite a funny story actually. He was distracted by the sight of Evans...Well, she was jumping around, and she was cheering him on, which was a complete first."

"Shut it," James growled to his best friend, shooting daggers at him through his eyes.

Eudoxia couldn't help but smile at this, as her grey eyes scanned the group.

"Yes, well, we never caught your name?" Remus said to her.

"Eudoxia Acerbus," she said, "it's an ancient Greek name."

"Eu-what? That's a mouthful," Sirius replied, grinning his boyish grin, "I'm Sirius, this here's Remus, and the one over here acting like a garden gnome is James."

"You-dox-ee-a," she said clearly, as she smiled, "but you can call me Zia for short, if you wish."

"Or Doxy," Sirius said, "or Ox, or Udo, or--"

"Excuse him," Remus, "he doesn't know when to stop."

"But Eudoxia is a very, very exotic name," Sirius replied, purring the words with a slight accent.

James seemed to find this all very amusing, "Acerbus almost sounds Latin, is it? I know I've heard that name before."

"I don't think so," Eudoxia replied, or as Sirius now called her, Doxy, "I'm a muggleborn."

"Oh, but I could have sworn..." James said, thinking.

"What's that?' Sirius said, pointing to the CD player on her lap.

"Lily has one of those!" James said, perking up, "she says it's used to play music or something, muggle bands!"

Sirius smiled and said to Eudoxia, "isn't a bit sad, isn't it?"

"I heard that!" James said, jumping up from the seat to lunge at his friend. Suddenly a small brawl broke out in their compartment, accompanied by laughter from Eudoxia and sighs from Remus.

"This is precisely why I didn't get Head Boy," Lupin said quietly.

"Hmm?" Eudoxia asked.

The brawl had finally stopped, and Sirius answered for him, "Shame you didn't get it, old Dumblydorr seemed to think that you would somehow abuse the privileges by helping out your mates."

"Well, you would have, wouldn't you?" James asked.

Remus replied calmly, "Depends on how much damage it would have caused."

The train ride seemed to go all too quickly, and soon they were approaching the warm and lit castle of Hogwarts, each with a smile on his or her face.

"Oh shit...I forgot to change into my robes!" Eudoxia said suddenly, "you guys go ahead...I'll see you later."

"No, it's okay, I'll stay behind," Sirius volunteered, and she noticed that James had sniggered before replying, "Whatever you say, Padfoot."

As soon as she was done changing, she grabbed her things and immediately Sirius snatched them from her, "You know, it's only proper to carry a ladie's things."

Eudoxia cocked an eyebrow, before slowly nodding her head, "Right."

Sirius smiled his infamous grin, which drove most of the female species mad.

The rest of the way up towards the castle, Sirius amused Eudoxia with a story about how he and James had managed to turn Severus Snape's hair purple, make him break out in sore warts, and made him jump up onto the table at dinner in the Great Hall and made him dance a jig. Of course, she had known the aftermaths of the situation but never how it had begun.

Finally they reached the Great Hall, alight with many candles and the warmth and chatter of students.

"Would you like to join us?" Sirius said, gesturing towards the table as he shoved people away to make a clear seat.

However, the moment Eudoxia had set foot in this warm and loving place, she felt small and isolated. There with hundreds of pairs of eyes all around, hundreds of minds ready to ridicule her for a small mistake, hundreds of people she knew thought of only evil, hundreds of people she vowed she'd never trust.

"I'm going to sit, over there," Eudoxia said, in a whisper, pointing to the end of the table that was vacant.

"Oh," Sirius said, "well, if you want."

She managed a smile before hurrying away, and as she sat down she wished she could have been alone. Just for a moment, just so she could breathe. She could feel many eyes, and hear the voices of many people. Something inside her constricted, and she lowered her eyes to her empty plate, determined to look away from the many faces.