Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize from any Harry Potter book. If you don't recognize it: Hey, it's mine! Should I still be putting this on every chapter?
Welcome back to the land of my mind.
So we've all had nice extended vacations, haven't we? Well, I finally finished it, and the idea of what happened at the end was something that completely jumped me and bit me in the butt while I was writing… and I love it. And oh yes, a small swear word in the beginning, but don't blame Sirius, he's an angry fellow. I apologize if it offends anyone.
I hope you enjoy my much belated chapter.
* * *
As it was, the day students went home for the Christmas holiday was a hectic, scattered, loud and joyous day.
Well, that is if your father wasn't being held by the Dark Lord, tortured endlessly, presumably being starved and kept from you.
'Happy fucking Christmas,' thought Sirius as he dragged his trunk towards the Entrance Hall with the other students heading home for the holidays.
It was December the 19th, 1976, and on this Sunday the Hogwarts Express was leaving for Platform Nine and Three-Quarters. Students would sit in their compartments; excited about the prospect of presents, good food, family, extra sleep and best of all: no homework. First years would finally see their parents or guardians after being separated for three and a half months. Seventh years would be able to do full magic at home had they turned eighteen by then (the new law of making the age seventeen was shot down once again a week prior). As it was the holidays, students were able to use simple, easy spells during the two weeks off. Many students had been banned from such a privilege for abusing it. It was now being considered taken away.
Much snow had fallen already in the winter season. Usually it came slowly, but this year it piled itself on, reaching some of the younger years' knees. It had caused many snowball fights, snow forts and other such activities that some deemed themselves too mature for.
They were usually the first to be bombarded with snow.
The Seventh years were also relieved to have time off from essays, tests, homework and studying for their NEWTS. That's not to say none were going to study. After not making Head Boy, Patrick Boot was determined to get an O on all of his exams. His mother would soon come to realise that not even her famous treacle tart could sway him from his Hag Decree homework.
There had been no word to Lily, the twins, Mrs. Black or anyone on how Mr. Black was doing. Well, they guessed he wasn't sipping martini (miniature umbrella, and all), but some sort of physical evidence (in a letter of sorts, if not Mr. Black himself, whole and unharmed or unchanged) that he was still alive would have been nice.
But no. Nothing for nearly two gruelling weeks.
"Lily and I decided to sit with you guys for most the ride home," James said, hauling his trunk into the luggage caboose after putting Lily's in first.
Jen gave Lily a thankful half-smile but Sirius showed no emotion. James knew he was thankful, though. How did he know? Come on – he's Prongs. Prongs knows his Padfoot. James took Lily's gloved hand in his and they followed their friends on the train.
A select few students, including Remus, were staying at Hogwarts for the entire Christmas holiday. Some had no family to go home to (or that they enjoyed, if they were honest), or their families were vacationing.
Remus had decided to stay at Hogwarts because Romulus was there. Troy was out on an assignment out of the United Kingdom, rendering Remus alone for Christmas had he gone home. Of course Jen, James and the others had scoffed, saying he could stay with either one of them, but he politely declined. His brother was at Hogwarts; it made sense for him to spend yuletide there.
People were excited about the New Years Ball. Lily and James had allowed the Prefects to take more care of everything involving the dance than they were sure was acceptable. They were so busy with their own lives, and the Prefects didn't complain, it suited everyone fine.
Lily only hoped they didn't screw up.
She smiled when she remembered the Christmas present all the girls pitched in to buy Sirius this year. Lily expected he would like it and sure as hell hoped made him smile. They were all going to wait until they were back at Hogwarts to exchange gifts this year, since they were all heading back early for the Ball. James tugged her forward and sat her close to him in their compartment. The temperature this winter seemed so much colder than last, and no matter how many warming charms she put on her clothes, she always seemed to be cold. Living in a stone castle had its disadvantages from time to time.
Ara sat on the other side of Lily and puffed out a breath as she plopped down. "I'll welcome any sleep I can get at home, that's for sure," she said, tugging off her scarf and folding it on her lap.
Jen gave a small, forced smile to her. "Won't we all," she spoke up quietly, pulling off her toque and causing her hair to frizz. Lily held in a smile.
Jen was a lot softer with anything she did or said these days. No one could really blame her though, and no one did. Even if a spell she cast during charms went wrong or her potion was bubbling over the edge of her cauldron in bright blue instead of teal, she'd keep her cool and fix everything with little fuss. She was often found staring off into space, her eyes cast to the side, and slightly lowered. When interrupted from her reverie, she'd apologize kindly but the far off look wouldn't leave. Remus had taken to sticking by her side, especially in the halls to keep her from walking into anyone or thing, and during classes to make sure she paid attention. He was always next to her on a regular basis anyways, but now he was doing more than holding her hand and books. Jen was handling the news of her father with silent, introspective thoughts, being gentle to everyone.
Sirius was nearly the complete opposite.
At meals, the knife Sirius used to cut food could easily be heard scratching on the plate from the staff table. It warranted him more than a few odd looks. He was very moody and would twitch wherever he was touched. During class he'd slouch in his seat, arms crossed and glare at people who addressed him, including the teachers. The staff were very happy to see him go home for the holidays, not being able to endure his cold looks much longer. Although he got in trouble more than once (more likely on McGonagall's turf for rude muttering when she'd call his name), teachers only ever deduced points. But no one in Gryffindor dared to tell him to lighten up – when Sirius was upset, his whole aura darkened and a shiver would pass through people who had the courage to be upset with him to his face. Only a couple got a few words in about how the Gryffindor stats were lowering everyday.
Genie, although with a new flame, hadn't been able to rid herself of the purple blotches on her arms for a few days.
The talk on the train was anything but light. Conversations were generally forced and rarely included either of the Black siblings. Sirius sat beside Peter, sandwiched between him and the window, frowning at the scenery as the train passed by rolling hills of snow. Jen, frizzed hair tamed thanks to Mel, leaned against her friend, head resting on the blonde's shoulder.
"I'm tired," she whispered and closed her grey eyes. Jen didn't see the worried or pitying looks sent her way from most of the others.
The train ride continued till nightfall, with James and Lily stepping out to enjoy some solitude in their Head compartment; blissfully spent half sleeping on the luxurious couch. They talked about their Christmas plans, Sirius and Jen, the upcoming New Year's Ball (and how it would hopefully lift the twin's spirits – if only for the night), and anything else that entered their heads.
In the compartment (that wasn't one ounce as nice as the Heads'), fellow seventh years stopped by to chat briefly and wish them all a Happy Christmas.
The familiar voice echoed throughout the Hogwarts Express, reminding all to dawn their muggle clothing and to have a wonderful Christmas, hopefully seeing them earlier than normal for the Ball. Students grabbed their luggage, lined up to exit the train, and then hauled it off onto Platform Nine and Three Quarters.
James and Lily met with the others after opening the train doors and waiting for all the Prefects to assure them that no student was left aboard.
Arabella left immediately when she spotted her aunt on the magical platform. Apparently while on the train she told the others of some errands Aunt Janine wanted to run after picking her up. She bid a hasty, but hug-filled, goodbye and ran off, luggage and cats under her arms.
Exiting the platform to the entrance of the station, the other six senior students chatted idly about Christmas plans.
"Well, my Grandma Roe wants us to have a complete muggle Christmas this year," said Mel with a roll of her eyes, "so we'll see how that turns out, eh?"
"My dad wants us to try and cook the turkey this year as well," James added. "Don't know how well that'll turn out, seeing as I'm not of age to use my wand outside of Hogwarts…"
"I'm sure you won't burn too much of the house down, James," Lily soothed teasingly. "I think my Christmas will be the same as usual, unless Petunia invites her boyfriend for dinner." Here she made a face to distaste. "I've always hated meeting her past boyfriends, and something tells me this one won't be too much different." She turned to Peter, signalling that it was his turn.
"Oh…" he started slowly, "well this is a year since… since last yearm" Peter began, fumbling a bit with the hem of his winter cloak.
Sirius snorted humourlessly. "How logical of you, Pete," he muttered.
Peter bowed his blushing face, while James hit Sirius on the arm. "Don't be a bastard," he muttered.
"No, no it's ok," Peter assured him quietly, "he has things on his mind… he wouldn't remember what happened last year…"
Sirius' eyes momentarily widened, before they resumed their normal, bland gaze. "Sorry Peter," he mumbled, avoiding the smaller man's eyes.
Peter shrugged as if it was nothing. "So it'll just be my mum and I this year. I think she'll want to visit my Grandfather's grave at some point, but other than that, I'm sure I'll be expected to help with the turkey."
It was either Sirius or Jen's turn to tell what they planned to do that year. No one bothered to pursue them to give out any information. Hell, neither of them probably knew what was going on.
"I don't know what we're doing this year," Jen said quietly, arms crossed, after a few minutes of awkward silence. "It's all up in the air, now."
A car horn honked a few times, scaring nearly everyone at the entrance to the station.
Groaning, Lily picked up her luggage. "Petunia," she muttered, "See you all sometime this holiday?" Her friends either shrugged or nodded. "Get yourselves home quickly." She kissed James, hugged her friends, picked up Iphigenia's cage and hauled it over to the car. She insisted to James that she could manage. Although she admitted to herself that she could have used the help, she didn't care to have Petunia and her boyfriend within ten feet of each other unless needed. She wanted to avoid any potential wicked looks and words from Petunia.
She silently loaded the trunk into the boot of their parent's light blue car, gently placed her cat's carrier in the back, and wordlessly joined Petunia in the front.
"Mum and dad are busy. Consider this part of your Christmas gift." And those were the only words Petunia spoke to Lily the whole ride home.
Over in front of the station, James and Mel nodded and waved to other students as they too were whisked away back home. Peter stood with his head slightly lowered against the chilled breeze, while Jen and Sirius addressed no one.
Mel's grandparents showed up next ("Terribly sorry, Melissa, but this confounded junk wouldn't get started." Grandma Roe had then hit the engine of the car with her handbag), and she said her farewells. Peter's mother showed up, nodding to all his friends and wishing them all a Happy Christmas before hustling her son into the car.
"You two and your mum are welcome at my place any time, you know that, right?" James said quietly, sitting on a bench with Jen who sat a few minutes earlier. "Christmas dinner, morning, any time."
"I'll tell my mum," Jen nodded slowly. She looked up when a familiar Rolls Royce drove up and stopped before the three teenagers. "Your dad's here," she pointed out.
James looked up, and indeed his father was here.
Mr. Potter exited his car, obviously ready to dish out an excuse, as James was used to. "Muggle traffic always stresses me out this time of year."
"It's alright, father," James replied, as was his usual response.
"No, no it's not," Mr. Potter shook his head; "I promised their mother that I'd have them home in…" he checked his watch, "twenty minutes."
"Pardon?" Sirius asked, the first thing he said in a long while.
"I told your mum I'd pick you up while she was at the Ministry," Mr. Potter clarified, grabbing Jen's trunk. "You two live close, but I'm afraid it will take longer to get home than I'd like." He stowed Jen's baggage, and moved onto Sirius' (who did not protest). "Ministry's in a bit of an uproar with everything that's happened." James loaded his own trunk and moved to the front seat of the car. "Aurors are going mad trying to figure out where the captives are." Jen and Sirius took the back seat after Mr. Potter opened the door for them, and shut it once they were in.
Mr. Potter got in the front seat. "I must say some other projects, well, most others, were put on hold. There are clues, but some have been similar to a wild Demiguise chase. You think you've found it, but then poof, it's like it went invisible." He drove the car off and back onto the busy London streets. "I can assure you two that we're trying out hardest," he told Jen and Sirius solemnly, looking in his rear view mirror.
"We appreciate it, Mr. Potter," Jen told him, forcing a smile on her lips. "It is a bit difficult, though."
"I have no doubt in that," Mr. Potter replied quietly. They drove on, getting stuck in some late evening traffic, speaking occasionally.
James spoke of the Ball coming up, Christmas dinner and classes. Mr. Potter gave the Black's the same offer James had before he arrived.
"… honestly, any time you want to come over, do it. Three A.M.? Just come on in; you're mother still has a key with the security charms on it?" Mr. Potter asked them as they entered a more suburban landscape.
"In the second drawer of the desk in the drawing room; left side." Jen answered, sending Sirius yet another look for saying nothing during the car ride.
"Good, good…" Mr. Potter mumbled, pulling into the large loop of a driveway that was the entrance to the Black Manor.
The normally blossoming fruit trees were crystallized in ice and snow, tinkling in the breeze. The lights that were lit along the driveway shone off the snow and into the night, making the scene very beautiful in its own haunting way. Ice sculptures (no doubt made by Pumney and Gorgey to liven the place up) sat beside the walkway to the front doors. James could make out a centaur and unicorn. A large wreathe, lit with fairies, hung on the large black door invitingly.
The door opened, and Mrs. Black appeared, hand on her chest. She blew out a sigh of relief, her breath clouding up and dissipating above. "Oh I was worried that something had happened," she said, feet crunching on the snow as she met her children at the car. "I only got home a short while ago."
Jen got out of the car (opened of course, by Mr. Potter) and immediately hugged her mother. Sirius followed his sister out of the car, and kissed his mum on the cheek, wrapping an arm around her. James and Mr. Potter brought their luggage into the front foyer, and Mr. Potter closed the door behind them, wreath jingling with tiny gold bells.
James rubbed Jen's back and spoke to them. "We'll see you three later, alright? Owl us if anything is found out and remember, any time you want to come over-"
"'We can', yes we know." Jen replied, a hint of a smile on her lips. "Thanks, both of you. I'm sure we'll be taking you up on that." She gave James a hug, while he patted Sirius on the back.
James pecked Mrs. Black on the cheek, said goodbye and headed to the car.
"We better see you three spontaneously show up a few times." Mr. Potter leant over, kissed Mrs. Black's cheek as well, and scruffed up Sirius and Jen's hair.
"With these two, you'll regret demanding that of us," Mrs. Black joked lightly, sniffing once.
"Get back in before you get sick," Mr. Potter mothered, backing up to his car. "We'll be seeing you."
"Yes, so we've been told," Sirius finally spoke up with a light roll of his eyes.
Mr. Potter joined his son in the car, made sure the Blacks were safely inside and drove off the Black estate, passing the white christened trees and hills of snow where it was ploughed.
"So how are you James?"
James snorted. "Bloody great compared to them."
Mr. Potter nodded. "They'll get through it, and we'll help them along the way."
~ * ~
The Evans' household was decked out in Christmas decorations, as was the style this time of year. The tree (fake pine since Mr. Evans was allergic to the real tree) was to be decorated the day before Christmas Eve, which was their family tradition. Garland wrapped around the banister of the stairs, hung above the mantle of the fireplace, and just about anywhere else Mrs. Evans deemed necessary. A little layout of the Nativity scene rested on the mantle, complete with the hay around the manger, miniature sheep, cows and pigs, and the three wise men. Iphigenia had made off with the Little Drummer Boy her first Christmas at the house. All they ever found was the small wooden drum.
A large red bow dawned the white front door, and lights wrapped around the small cedar bushes on either side of the front porch. Mrs. Evans had spoiled herself (in the words of her husband) and bought a large plastic Father Christmas, placing it beside their fence to welcome people.
Lily had rolled her eyes the minute she saw it.
A few days before Christmas, Lily had met James at Diagon Alley. It was her idea that Cupid and Psyche should at least see their babies for Christmas. Although James had rolled his eyes when reading her letter that requested this, he obliged like a smart man would.
Mr. Veer, the owner of Eeylops, allowed them in to see the owlets, which were now covered in thick buff-coloured down. Near the back of a store, sitting in a large cloth nest at about shoulder height, were the owlets. Four out of the six had green eyes, with the other two having blue.
"Oh Psyche, look," Lily pointed, "They have your eyes!" Psyche poked her head forward, and let out a light screech. It wasn't heard too well in the loud Owl Emporium. The owlets replied with varying sounds. "They're all too cute, James."
James, frowning a bit as he was sure the bottom of his shoe was covered in owl poop, nodded. "Adorable."
Psyche slowly walked down Lily's arm, stopping on her owner's wrist. Lily held her arm steady beside the large nest that the owlets were sitting in.
Cupid sat on James' shoulder, watching the whole episode with a tilted head.
"I think you should go see them, buddy, or you'll regret it later." James muttered to his owl, nodding to Psyche.
Cupid turned his heart-shaped face to James', blinked his great blue eyes and slowly lumbered down James arm. Clicking his beak, he joined his girlfriend (as Lily and James were centuries from giving the two a wedding), who had now stepped onto the edge of the nest.
Looking about the store, James sighed. The Blacks weren't doing well at all, and they had yet to drop by spontaneously like he and his father had ordered. Owl's were returned unanswered or with very little enthusiasm. Communication through the fire was the dullest it had ever been. Sirius would often say he was busy, and just walk away, with no bounce in his step or anything similar to show he had any life in him. Jen at least thanked him for calling, if he were to catch her instead. Mrs. Black was continually in and out of the house, Apparating between home and the Ministry. Once James caught Pumney decorating around a fireplace when he decided to pop his head in, and that was the only sign that Christmas still touched the Black household.
Zooming out from Eeylops Emporium…
At Hogwarts, Remus was quite glad of the sleep he was getting. There was to be a full moon by the time his friends got back and he was very happy about that. He didn't want another incident similar to what happened to James during the summer holidays. The puncture wounds on his neck had healed nicely, but very barely could the signs of scars still be seen.
Romulus had been very glad of Remus sticking around because, as he said modestly, all the teenage girls blushing when he addressed him got tiresome. Remus was sure it was only because they were younger years that were still in school, and knew that his oldest brother just enjoyed being with him; with family. Sitting in his brother's office (the fact that Romulus taught still amused the werewolf), they chatted idly, or sometimes just sipped tea and sat in companionable silence.
Living with her Aunt and Grandmother was always interesting, Arabella came to realise. Being just like her father's sister, Ara often spent nights talking to her and making jokes. Her mind, like all the others, so often travelled to Sirius and Jen. She called them, like all the others, and tried to make either smile. But when her mind was off of the woes of the world, she was having a great time. Each dinner, Grandma Figg would recount tales of going to a muggle school, unlike her magical brother and sister.
She shopped in Diagon Alley for gifts just a couple days before Christmas (although Sirius' was pre-bought a while ago with the other girls) and often went out for tea with her Aunt Janine. Although she missed her parents horribly on this festive occasion, she found the holidays weren't so bad.
Melissa wasn't so fortunate with how everything went at her house. The tiny cottage was loud as her Grandpa Roe would turn up the Wizard Wireless to hear it properly, or her Grandma Roe would be doing the laundry the muggle way – by machines. She visited Ara often, and on a couple occasions, Lily, when the redhead wasn't going out of her mind with her sister.
Keeping her mind off of the clatter down below (her Grandma had just dropped a plate), she instead worked on assignments that were due once term started. Twiddling with the quill in her hand as she lay on her bed, Mel continued picking out key ingredients for her essay from the large tome beside her.
Peter spent most of his time alone during the holidays. He met with James and Lily once in Diagon Alley for shopping, but other than that he was asked to keep the house clean. He did as told, since his mother so often was alone, with him off at school. She always seemed distressed about something. Mrs. Pettigrew had talked to Peter once about her past illness and how it confused her that she was… better.
Peter had hated the whole conversation. It felt as though his mother was about to turn an accusing eye onto him, point a finger and say he had something to do with it all. Which he did… and which he should feel proud of… but why did the guilt and feeling of dread still sit in the pit of his stomach and brew?
He instead decided to take a deep breath and continue shovelling his walkway from all the confounded snow they got that year. That night was Christmas Eve and he only hoped his mother didn't mention his Grandfather too often. That was yet another ingredient in the mixture that was his guilt.
Lounging on his bed, Sirius flipped through a book that he picked up in Hogsmeade around Halloween. Jen stood by his closet, looking for something she was sure he had taken a while back, already clad in her navy blue pyjama set. Sirius hadn't changed yet, figuring he wasn't going to sleep well that night anyways.
"That was James again…" said Mrs. Black softly as an introduction, standing under the doorframe of her son's room. Neither of her children gave her a response, except to acknowledge her presence. "He's only trying to help." Still no response. "You two would do the same for him."
"We know, mum." Jen spoke up, turning towards her mother.
"You two sleep well tonight," Mrs. Black said quietly, hand resting on the doorframe. "If either of you need anything, I'll be in the sun room for a while."
"Thanks mum," Jen said in a gentle voice, "you get some sleep as well."
Mrs. Black's fingers tapped on the doorframe a few times and her eye caught the wedding band and engagement ring on her finger. She remembered what Orion had engraved on both their wedding bands… Lifting her eyes again, "Alright…" she looked at her two children; her two babies. "I love you two."
"We love you too, mum," Jen replied, feeling that her mum was close to breakdown. "Everything is going to be alright."
Mrs. Blacks eyes begun to tear. "I just don't know anymore, children," she whispered, bringing a shaking hand to her mouth.
Jen sped her way to her mother. Wrapping arms around her mother's body, she hugged her close. Jen was crying as well.
Sirius joined the two a minute after, placing an arm over both their shoulders.
Mrs. Black cried on her daughter's shoulder, her arms tightly around the young girl's neck. She didn't stop until she exhausted herself; a task easily achieved in the past couple weeks.
"Go get some sleep, mum," said Jen, pulling back. "Sirius and I will bring you to your room."
The twins walked beside their mother and up a flight of stairs. Already dressed in her nightgown, Mrs. Black allowed them to lead her to bed. She climbed in, giving the smallest of smiles when Jen insisted on tucking her in. Under Jen's orders, Sirius wouldn't take no for an answer and fluffed the pillows.
"Will you be needing anything to drink?" Jen asked after kissing her mother on the forehead.
"No," Mrs. Black yawned and eyes drooped, "I'm fine."
"A lullaby?" Sirius offered, saying something for the first time that evening.
Mrs. Black was already in the throws of sleep.
Sirius doused the lights and followed Jen to the door. Closing it quietly behind him, the two made their way down a floor.
"She's in really bad shape," Jen commented, entering Sirius' room, black walls all around.
Sirius followed her and walked to his bathroom. "I don't blame her," he said, washing his face.
"I never implied that I did." Jen lay down upon his bed, legs hanging off. She looked at his taupe ceiling, eyes following the swirls that slowly danced across its surface.
Anubis, the Doberman, looked up from one of his many baskets throughout the manor. Remnants of his party hat from the birthday party the past summer lay chewed up beside his brown paws. He yawned, tongue sticking out, and rested his head down.
Sirius walked out of his bathroom, towel drying his face. "Neither did I." He tossed the towel at Anubis and it landed on the dog's head. All to be seen of his face was the tip of his nose.
Frowning, Jen turned her head to the side and watched Sirius lay down beside her, copying her position. "At least she still has hope. Although you can't tell that too easily, I can see it's there."
"Even if it seems pointless now," Sirius injected, crossing his arms behind his head.
Jen propped herself upon one elbow. "What do you mean 'pointless'?" she asked crossly. "He's still out there and for all we know, alive."
Sirius grunted in the back of his throat. "Are you asking me to believe that that bloody maniac hasn't done him in yet?"
Jen's mouth dropped and she fought back the urge to beat the shit out her brother. "How can you be so cruel?" she asked incredulously.
"You can't believe Voldemort has kept him alive for these past few weeks," Sirius said, turning his head towards his sister.
Setting her jaw, Jen said, "I have no reason to believe otherwi-"
"No reason to believe?" Sirius repeated, voice rising as he sat up. "Jen, you know what he's done. The man's unhinged!"
Jen spoke fast and loud as she sat up also, "There's no proof-"
"We don't need proof-"
"I do." Blinking back tears, she stood and marched to the door. "You can be a real prick sometimes, you know that?" Hastily wiping her eyes, she added, "Happy bloody Christmas Eve."
An echoing, moaning call of the Augurey, signalling snowfall on the magical evening, did not aid in lifting the spirits of the Black Manor.
~ * ~
Never before had any of the friends been so depressed on Christmas. Well, Peter had… but of course he had expected it, and it wasn't really depression… just well hid happiness.
They all knew of Sirius and Jen's argument, even Remus who had nearly shown up to the Black Manor by Floo, and it was just another face to add to the ever-growing totem pole of stress.
Christmas dinners were as they expected, although Sirius and Jen had figured they'd at least be talking to each other. They kept up a civil conversation in front of their mother, but blatantly ignored each other every other hour of the day. Remus ate well during the Hogwarts feast, listening to the tales that his brother and other teachers told, and watched (along with the other students) as each of the Professors became steadily drunk. James and his father had, obviously, requested that the Blacks ate dinner at their place, but found themselves alone. They didn't mind the time together at all, as Mr. Potter was usually on the case of the missing Unspeakables. Mel had lent a hand in making the turkey and stuffing. Some cousins had visited during the day and kept her mind off the troubles that seemed to plague the magical world for a few hours. Arabella had drunk some eggnog and was having one of the most wonderful conversations with her Aunt and Grandmother over Christmas dinner. Her Grandmother, only around the age of 65, had made the recipe from scratch. Peter and his mother had a quiet dinner together, talking light conversation and trying to ignore any annoying uncomfortable silence. He was sad that he was glad to be going back to school in only a few days. Lily was relieved to see that Vernon (she finally learned the boyfriend's name) had declined Christmas dinner, but still had to endure her sister. Dinner was fine, but she still thought of Jen eating in near silence.
She slept in late the day after Christmas; filled close to bursting with all the delicious food she ate the night before. Waking up, she slowly opened her green eyes. First she stretched her tired limbs that collapsed around her once she was done, and second she opened her eyes. First thing she saw was her room with its tan painted walls and trunk with its contents on the floor. Second thing she saw was a silhouette against the curtains of her window.
First she thought it was an owl from a friend… but on a second thought, she realised it was too small. Psyche was at James' house, she remembered, and she didn't know of anyone's owl being so little…
Standing up slowly, Lily adjusted her nightclothes and tentatively walked to her window. Avoiding her clothes on the floor, she kneeled on her bay window and took a peek through the curtain, eyes squinting from the sun that reflected off the snowy landscape.
First, her reaction was to run away, move to another country (one far away and secluded) and start a new life. But second, and the one she actually preformed, she screamed and pounded the window with her hand.
"GO AWAY!"
The crow screeched and fell off the ledge in shock, wings flapping everywhere, feathers flying. It flew back up and landed on the windowsill, cawing at her.
A clatter from the kitchen that Lily didn't hear would have told her that everyone in the house had heard her scream.
Thrusting the curtains open, Lily hit the window again, but the bird didn't fly, it only flinched. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Her father and mother burst into her room; Mr. Evans holding a tennis racket in the air, ready to attack anyone hurting his daughter, and Mrs. Evans with a rolling pin.
Lily didn't even notice them, but continued her assault on the window. She lifted a leg to kick it, but her father grabbed her by the waist to stop her from destroying the glass. Lily flailed in his arms, reaching for the window, hoping to strangle the horrible avian. Mr. Evans backed up, trying to hoist Lily in the air, who was kicking like mad.
"Lily, calm down!" her father shouted, "It's just a bird!"
"It's the devil!" Lily yelled, not quite in her right mind and looking to kill the crow that sat on only a few feet away, looking almost bored.
"Lily!" her mother yelled in surprise, "Just breathe, dear, breathe. It's nothing to be scared of."
Lily, feet now on the ground, was trying to push her fathers arms from her waist without success. Her eyes had begun to water with all the yelling she had done and the anger that had risen. "Let me go."
Mr. Evans, breathing quite heavily with the struggle he had dealt with, shook his head. "Not until you calm down."
"I am calm." Lily said in a deadly calm voice, eyes glaring at the bird that waited for the fiasco to finish. "Calm enough to rip that bird's wings off!" She started flailing again, trying to wriggle out of her father's grip.
Petunia had by now shown up and was flabbergasted at the display. Not even her stubborn pride could gloat at what she was witnessing.
Lily's anger was rising again, and she could feel her magic begin to bubble deep inside. "Daddy!" she yelled, "I don't want to hurt you. I can't control my magic all the time." She had stopped moving, and now hung her arms by her side, hoping that the feeling to unleash would ebb away.
Her father's grip loosened but he did not let go. "Don't kill the bird, Lily."
"I won't," she replied through a clenched jaw, wanting nothing more than to do just that. Maybe if she took the rolling pin her mother was holding and smashed the glass, some would hit the bird, killing it with its glass shards… and then Voldemort would lose his beloved messenger from Hell. Maybe that would show him how much she hated him… yes; yes she should kill the bird. Lily shook her head. Thoughts like that would only cause her family to lock her up at the London Mental Institution.
She briefly wondered whether or not that would be better or worse than St. Mungo's…
Feeling Mr. Evans' arms recede, Lily asked quietly, "May you all leave now?" She was met with silence and stillness. Her family, standing behind her, obviously thought that a bad idea. "Leave or so help me Merlin I'm going to loose my head."
Petunia all but ran from the room, with her mother on her heels like the smart woman she was. Mr. Evans backed up slowly, picking up the tennis racket he had thrown to the ground.
"Please don't kill the bird, Lily," were his final words. Not bothering to close the door, Mr. Evans walked down the stairs, watching her room until his view disabled him from doing so.
Lily took a deep breath. 'Don't kill the bird…' She walked once again to the window, not blinking. The crow tilted its head when she reached it. She scanned the crow for any parchment, and found none. A thought that passed through her head was that this might be a wild crow and Voldemort was making her lose her mind… but that idea was diminished when she saw a string tied to the bird's leg.
"I don't want whatever it is you've come to bring me." Lily said strongly, sitting at the edge of the seat on the window. "Did you hear me?" she asked the idiot black bird, "I don't want it."
Bending its neck and reaching down, the bird pulled the string up with its beak. On the end shone something bright and gold. Tied to the gold thing was a small torn piece of paper. The bird pecked at the string that was tied to its foot, pulled a few times, and pecked some more. Soon it was loose and the crow shook the string off its scaly leg. With a caw, the crow took flight and flapped away.
Lily was unsure of what to do. Should she even touch the gold object? The sun reflecting off of it blinded her from proper view of what it could be. She brought a hand in front of her, trying to block out the glare but not the object. Still not seeing it properly, she decided, with a deep breath, to open the window. She could at least get a better look that way.
Unlocking the window, she gripped the wooden frame and pushed up. Immediately a blast of cold wind hit her in the stomach and she gasped. Wrapping her arms over her cold skin that had felt the air, she inched closer on the cushion and poked her head out the window. Her eyes widened when a closer inspection told her exactly what it was.
A gold band sat on the snow beside the small claw prints and a couple black feathers. It sunk into the soft snow just a little on one side, letting Lily look on the inside of it.
There engraved into the metal ring was the word Amor.
Lily vividly remembered Jen explaining to her in their third year… She could hear Jen's young voice clearly, as if the fourteen year-old girl was standing right next to her, telling the story for the first time,
"Yea, he was a real romantic back then… even engraved Amor on the inside of the rings. Amor? Oh, it's Latin for love. Isn't that adorable?"It was Mr. Black's wedding ring.
Lily jumped back inside her room, narrowly missing the windowsill with the back of her head, hand over her mouth. She was crying already, eyes wide.
The wind blew the small piece of parchment, letting it flutter. It called to her to read it. She had to read it. She had to find out what it said.
Walking without knowing what she was doing, Lily kneeled on the bay window seat once again and slowly reached a hand forward. Grasping the paper in a hand, she brought it inside, letting the ring dangle and blow in the wind that still entered her room. Unfolding the once folded scrap, she read,
Tell Black's wife that yes, prolonged bleeding from the wrist is fatal to the health.
* * *
Little to no laughs, I know… but this is a serious part in the story, and I assure you things will pick up and there will be smiles at some point during the next chapter.
Ok, how about I finally get around to typing up my thank you's, eh?
Let's see how many of you remember your reviews (I'm going to guess none – except for maybe the recent ones;))
blondelily: Thank you, thank you :)
mystikalolo: Aw, thanks. I tried to make some parts at least a tad humorous for you lovely people. I rather enjoyed writing the Voldemort letter, personally. I enjoy a bit of evil once and a while. ;) Thank you for reviewing!
Godric's Angel: Sorry I didn't write soon ;P – but at least it's late than never, eh?
SquirtCrsh: Hm, can't answer many questions without giving away answers, but then again, I'm writing these thanks halfway through the chapter, so hey – maybe some have been answered already and I just haven't written them yet!
MandaB: lol – oh yea… the chigger conversation. Never apologize for a long review – I like all sizes (preferably not one-liners, though – it's hard to write a good thank you for them;)). Thanks!
little key: Oh a new name… I'll have to remember that… *sighs* Maybe I should e-mail you back, eh? Don't know about too much happiness right after everything that happened… it'd be… odd. But you and I are happy, eh? So that's all that matters! (Well, I hope you're happy – I mean, it'd ruin my philosophy if you aren't…) Thanks, m'love!
Lily Smith: lol – know what I remember from the first time I read your review? Lol – it's pretty funny to me. You wrote, 'Voldemort truly is evil.' And I just couldn't help to laugh. I was like, 'Really? Damn – I've been making him as sweet as a fluffy kitten…' It just sounded like something Sirius would comment on. Not that I'm mocking – your point is valued and true. Lol – Thanks for the review!
Princess Pixie Ice: Hm… if chapter 12 wasn't your favourite chapter… out of curiosity, which was? Thank you for the review:)
Snuffles 55: You just got back from Canada? Where in Canada were you?? Thank you very, very much :)
inu lover: Thank you, and yea… didn't update too soon. I have the modesty to blush.
ferahgo/CID: Well that sounds cool (about the origin of your name ;)). Evil characters can often be the best! Well… in a literal sense… not that they are, in a sense, the 'best' character. *clears throat* Anywho, thanks.
lilychica378: Thank you for reviewing and enjoying my odd, but oddly universal humour. ;)
i o u a name: Thank you for reviewing!
LadyArwen14: *blushing* By the second paragraph you were sucked in? Oh that's excellent! Hm, writing shift to keep while the fight against Voldemort continues? In that case, it'd be for the rest of the story, eh? Nah, just till people have begun or are in the midst of healing. Thank you.
Heather: Oh thank you :) I wasn't sure about the James/Sirius fight at first cause it wasn't what I originally wanted to happen… but I think it was called for. Or maybe I wanted more fighting. ;) Ah yes, there was Romulus in this chapter; did he make you smile? Once again, thank you!
Whippy Bird: I can't stop thanking everyone today… thank you so much. And I live in Eastern Canada, in Ottawa.
Leigh: Thank you:)
Star23: Hehehe… I like how you said you haven't updated for going over two months, and hey – me too! Thanks ;)
starborn: Yea, I agree with you more. When someone dies and the characters sort of mourn for a day or two… then they're perky! That's why it takes me long to write, cause I don't like writing sad things… and we're sort of in it's little climax, so to say. Anywho – thanks.
Kat44: Hm… so I think I e-mailed you… did I not? I can't remember, lol, it was so long ago. So um… er, yea – let's leave it at 'Thanks for the review!' cause I don't want to go repeating myself…
VoldemortsIllegitimateChild: I think the brick/glasses line was from some comic, or a movie or something… I can't remember. My mum said it as a joke once, though… don't remember. Anywho, thanks for reviewing :)
running out of ink: *glances back and forth* Hello. I like the comment in your review that states, "Yours seems to be the only fic I can count on to be updated regularly." Makes me smile when I'm about two and a half months late. ;) Thank you very much for the review!
Musicstarlover: Lol – you sounded so excited. Thank you for the compliment and for reviewing.
Morbid Mind: Thanks for reviewing!
LovinLupin: Hey JT:) *chuckles* Yes, I'd love to kill off Peter. Things are going… ok around here. Perhaps we can blame the long wait on my ever changing (oh so subtly, though), ever weirding life. Anywho, thanks for reviewing!
Seriously Sirius: lol – no, no Janna, in your face. And it'll be funny cause you won't remember what you wrote. Anyways, you never want a long Thank You, so thanks and yes – come online and talk to me sometime.
Dahlia Flower: Don't know how much this chapter was up to my usual standard… but it was hard to try and top the other one, and frankly… *sighs* I'm not in the best of muses to try. But, lol, you sound so very excited to be reading something of mine. Do you know how much of a compliment that is? It amazes me that people enjoy this so much. Wow. Thank you for reviewing and critiquing. I really appreciate it.
tori: Hehe – you used the word 'shall'… Rock on. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Evil Goldfish: Thank you :)
The Spiffy Meeper: Wow, the fight rocked… thanks! Thank you for reviewing and all that jazz… and have I told you that I love your name? It makes me smile every time I read it.
Nessie8: How have I been? Hm… well, for the past two or months, I've realised that I need a vacation. ;) That's how I've been. But other than that, not horribly bad. So tell me how your production went – hope everyone liked it! Thanks for reviewing!
Effa Commander: I like that you shrugged with the possibility of Mr. Black's death… humoured me. ;) Thanks a bunch for the review!
Daphne: Imagine holding in something like that for so long? I'd admire Lily for doing so. Yup, I'm going to finish this story off with a third instalment, which would be to the beginning of Harry's birth or James and Lily's deaths. Not too horribly sure which ones… but I may be leaning towards the latter. Thank you for the huge compliment. I care for these guys too, and it's a shame to know I can't rewrite HP history and have all my characters come out happy. Even Peter. Thank you.
The Cavity: Oh yes – two cheap sodas now. Excellent – can you see me jump for joy? Thanks for reviewing!
Alej: Hm, cliffhanger = evil in your books, eh? Well, here's another evil chapter for you. Thank you bunches for the compliments :)
jasmine DarkAngel: Well thank you for the five stars! And thank you for reviewing so loyally. Brings a tear to my eye. *sniff* ;) lol – thanks.
Lexie13: Thank you very much.
~sundust~: lol – I love it. Really – the line that you wrote, "*takes out a "normal" looking bag* Yes by now you should know that its not a normal bag." That was genius – because it's true. Thank you very much for the gift, and I'm curious to see what I get this time, seeing as you've had over two months to get me it… hint. Anywho – when I receive my gift (aka Remus), I'll want him in black slacks and an ultra marine blue, button up shirt. I thank you in advance. Lol- thanks.
LadySiri: lol – don't we all wish we could explode things at will? I hope Freshman is going well for you. Look at me – I graduated alive. It's not that bad and the years become more fun as you go – mind you the work load grows… but you just go with it. Thanks for reviewing :)
ByeByeBirdie: *blushes modestly* Well, I don't know about realistic… but yea, it's fun. Thank you for the compliment and for reading and reviewing!
They Call Me Mellow Yellow: LMAO!!! Thank you – that was absolutely hilarious. "And I love Jen, too. It's too bad she'll eventually have to die." That was priceless, my kind of humour, and great. Whether you meant it as a joke or not, it was funny. Ok… L/J fluffy moment… it's going to have to wait till the next chapter, but I think I can squeeze one in (and it won't seem forced). I might be able to – depending on the mood of the next chapter. You can take back that comment about me keeping my promises about updating. It's ok – I deserve that. Thanks for the great review!
Melissa A.: Oh the compliments, the compliments! I'm going to have great dreams tonight. Thank you ever so much for all the love. I felt it reverberate from my monitor and into my heart. Poetic, aren't I? Thank you very much.
Manny2003: Ooo – like my plot line? Thanks – I'm making most of it up as I go. Thanks!
Luna-Elantari: First off… wtf's a gringa? It's (as you should know) part of your e-mail… But other than that, thanks for the review! ;)
Dangerous Perfection: Thank you, but as you can see, I've not had much time to do things, so I never went to your site… If I remember sometime… I will!!
vamperfly: Hm… Muggle Studies, eh? I wonder what's happening there, too… *winks* Thanks for the review.
oobergoober: Oh no, I notice that you hadn't reviewed for a while, I just don't remember half the time. But that's just me and it's really late right now… Ooo – unpredictable. That's one I haven't got before. ;) Thanks!
Silver Lady: Thank you!
Gryfydor Girl: Yarr, how ye be doing, matey? Thanks for the review and the pirate talk ;)
Amanda: If ever you want to talk about anything (sure this is a couple months late… but hey, whattaya gonna do?), just feel free to e-mail me. You are not lame one bit for liking my story and letting it brighten your day – you are cool! Remember that. Thanks for reviewing!
harrypfanatic1111: Thank you and, uh, now. Now I'm updating.
Braney: Oh stop it! I can't stand all the freaking compliments – my face is already the shade of a tomato and I'm grinning like a damn fool. But don't stop. ;) Thank you ever so much, I take all the love in stride, really.
jellybeanqueen: Thank you – yes, lots of people liked the fight scene with James and Sirius… odd, that, but welcomed. ;)
courtney: Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Beaver Buddy: God I love your review. It was so everywhere – but I could still follow it. So many things to comment on – oy. But really, all I want to say is, yes, Voldemort has that kind of time to write such a letter. I mean, really – if the man can seduce men and women with words to join him and be followers, he can certainly write a letter, eh? That's how I see it. He is a literary genius. *…* And since I write him, I guess that's an indirect compliment towards myself. Anywho – many laughs from your review. Thank you and keep it up ;)
tora: Thank you very much.
Krista: You're welcome, and thank you.
nerdypurdy: Thank you very much, Jen. Well, you couldn't read this chapter before – but now you can!
natalie potter: Ah well, I don't rat on writers for not writing in months, cause hey – I do it (well, this is my second and probably not last time), and I feel that my reasons are excusable. But if they don't write, then leave you without any type of note, then yea, that's annoying. But yea, I'm from the land of beavers, hockey and maple leafs.
teresaangel: Don't worry, I won't stop writing. Thanks for the review!
Silmarien Lossewen: Thank you very much – and hey – I got this out before Remembrance Day! Go me. Lucky girl, missing the black out.
slate07: Thank you. I think the sequel is much better than the original… but maybe that's just cause I cringe when I read how I used to write. Lol – anywho! Thanks.
tashie: lol – woo! Thanks!
The great and masterful Yoda: Ok, personally… it's odd that you somehow mentioned climbing walls… but it made me smile (and chuckle). Do you often climb walls? Thanks for reviewing.
Moe23: I'm never offended when people don't sue schools. Thanks for reviewing, even after so long!
Winky27: Oh a long review! Love it. No, no, no – I love all my reviews (even if sometimes it takes a few reads to follow their train of thought ;)) I love how you said "your voice" when referring to my writing, cause, yea, it is my voice isn't it? Never thought of it that way, and I like it. Thank you, thank you, thank you. There's so many things I want to thank you for… Ok – answering your question (I had to read parts of chapter 12 to answer it). Alright, James told Lily that he let Dumbledore read the letter the morning before she was to see him. The morning she woke up in the Hospital Wing, and such. He said that the Ministry and Mrs. Black had been informed by then. Mrs. Black's letter to Sirius and Jen would have been written a few days before for it to arrive at Hogwarts (Scotland) from the Manor (England). I thought you had me there for a second – but *phew* I found my loopholes!
TwiztedTiger: lol – I share your views on Sirius. He was supposed to be uber-hot back then, so I'm sure he was one piece of eye candy. And yes – eye candy with humour? Mmm… Oh I can feel the love. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Song*Breeze: Nice to have you back! Thank you for deciding to catch up and for the compliments!
Now that I'm done those – how about all those lovely people who reviewed other chapters and TGTYEL? Well, their thanks are here: Beaver Buddy, nerdypurdy, Grimm Sister, PrincessMila107, slate107, sara, Sarah, ProphecY, vamperfly, harrypfanatic1111, mercury3120, Pirates of the Caribbean, reviewer!, cool reviewer!, Samli, Skittles713, Clepsydra, cinnamonflamez, and Me2KnowU2FindOut.
My proverbial hand is wiping the proverbial sweat from my proverbial head.
In other words: it took me so long to get this chapter and the thank you's out that I'm about to pass out. (That may also be because it's 1:20 AM…)
Anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, although I don't there was one joke in it… hm, I'll have to work on that. Review and tell me what you thought, and once again, if you'd like to be told when I update, leave your e-mail address and actually type that you want to be added. Cause lots of people have their address up there if they don't sign in, and I'm not sure if they want to be added or what… Or I'm just easily confused.
Thank you for all being so patient and coming to my house with pitchforks and torches.