Note: Written for the Just Rewards challenge at the yuridrabbles livejournal community.

Pairings: RosemariexClaudine, mention of Claudinexothers

Warning: Spoilers for all but the end of Claudine.

Disclaimer: Claudine is copyright Ikeda Riyoko and Shuueisha. I am using the characters for non-profit entertainment purposes only. The title of this drabble comes from the title of a Sarah Brightman song, "She Doesn't See Him."

Rosemarie doesn't look in mirrors anymore. The first time she looked in a mirror after The Incident, she went into hysterics and had to be forcibly restrained. She has never tried again since. She has accepted her lot in life now, but some things are just too hard.

She had not thought herself a coward, before, but now she knows the truth. She wears sunglasses all the time now, and carries herself so that her hair covers her face on the right side. She tries to blend into the crowd, hoping that nobody will look close enough to see her disfiguration.

And she has not gone to see Claudine, not since their brief meeting the other day, their first since The Incident. Claudine was with another woman, pretty, with dark hair. She looked happy.

The old pain welled up again - I love you, damnit Why not me Why her Why am I not good enough What does she have that I don't I love you Why don't you see me, I've been by your side all along I walked through fire for you Why don't you love me They'll all betray you but I never would I love you I love you Why don't you love me - but she pushed it back down firmly and smiled. Though she doubted there was much danger of Claudine noticing how hurt she was, she didn't know how perceptive this new woman might be. So she smiled, and was polite and friendly, and left as quickly as possible to go home and have a good cry.

It would be easy enough to find Claudine at her university, she knows, but she cannot bring herself to go there. She cannot bear to see Claudine with another woman yet again. Another whom she will love, who will break her heart. Or, both better and yet worse, one who will properly grasp the value of the gift bestowed upon her and will treat it with care, who will be together with Claudine for the rest of her days. In short, one who will live out Rosemarie's own fantasy.

Rosemarie has known since she was very small that Claudine was The One for her. She is perhaps the one person who sees Claudine for what she - he - truly is. In a just, ideal, world, her understanding and affections would be rewarded with True Love and maybe even a Happily Ever After. But this world is not just, or even good, and Rosemarie's "reward" is a broken heart and a burn on her face. A terrible disfigurement that would ruin her chances for marriage if she weren't completely incapable of loving anyone but Claudine anyway.

She knows the situation with Claudine is hopeless. Claudine doesn't see her, not the way she saw Maura and Cecilia, the way she sees this new woman. Rosemarie isn't sure how she's different from the others, but she supposes there must be something.

She knows she will never be good enough for Claudine.