Disclaimer: Sadly, Remis Lupin is not mine :( , nor Tonks excellent abilities. Even the title comes from my favorite werewolf novel of all time, Blood and Chocolate by Annette Curtis Klause…great book; anyone who likes werewolves or vampire novels should definitely check her out.
Part I
He prayed to a god he didn't believe in, that it was all a dream.
But of course it wasn't…it never was. His eyes closed tight, it was the blood he first tasted: cold and metallic, and saturated in the air so that he couldn't get away…he couldn't possibly get away from it all.
And then the feeling in his fingers came back, and it was the blood he felt: wet and sticky, and again everywhere, everywhere he touched.
She'd been a horrible girl, but she'd been just that: a girl. A potentially evil girl…a death eater in training wouldn't be too harsh, but just a girl. She had been as of yet, innocent. No matter how much blood she had planned to spill, her hands were yet unstained.
And he had murdered her, viciously.
He had ripped her apart, with his own claw-encrusted hands and his own spiked teeth dragged across her throat.
For days afterwards he had tried to at least find some comfort with that if it had had to be anyone, it had been her. But she had been innocent when she died, and he had no right to play the part of a nonexistent god, so he quickly gave up fooling himself.
And it had been his fault, because he hadn't taken the bloody potion. Because of no one but himself he had felt the racking call for blood, and flesh.
So every night for twenty years he relived that night, and steeled himself to feel the same shock, and the same horror, and self-disgust of that night every time he fell asleep. A part of him always knowing the outcome, while the stronger part of him shrieked.
Except this time it was different.
He scrambled back a few feet.
This time when he opened his eyes it was no future death eater gazing back at him, and when he blinked the image didn't dissipate. Why hadn't he felt the body beneath him, was not that of a girl's?
He squeezed her corpse to him then, and howled angrily at the moon.
And he knew without knowing what had happened as he moved ever closer and swallowing back tears, brushed away her own, still wet upon her cheek and frozen eyes. He laughed bitterly, not unlike a friend of his had at being framed for his surrogate family's murder. This girl…this woman, whom had always gone out of her way to make sure everyone was happy, even when she falling apart…this ray of sunlight who had never judged him, or called him a monster, or backed away in fear or hatred, must have reached out to him. Perhaps, he thought, she had been trying to give him the potion even after it was too late, or maybe she had thought he wouldn't harm her.
Strong as she was, she had probably held onto life throughout most of it, probably looked him in the eyes as he murdered her, and willed him to see her through the haze of his animal.
And now the tears came thick and fast, for she had never believed him when he called himself a monster, and how wrong she had been.
Please Reviw. More coming soon.