Disclaimer: Neither I, nor my friend Ashley own any these characters or songs…. we are NOT Janet Evanovich (though Ash has met her twice).

Author's Note: Sorry for the wait. I meant to update Thursday but forgot to. I'm meaning to update a new chapter every week but I lost track of time. But hey, better late than never eh? Anyways, on with the show!

Lula raised her head and put her hands on her hips imitating the two girls at the beginning of the song.

"Oh my god
Becky, look at her butt
It's so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute
I mean her butt
It's just so big
I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there
I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black"

Lula dropped her hands from her hips and raised them up. She started making all sorts of gestures and shaking her ass like it was on fire.

"I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Lula jumped straight into the air
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got
Make me so horney
Ooh, rump of smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me use me cuz you aint that average groupy

I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's Sweat,Wet, got it goin like a turbo vette

I'm tired of magazines
Saying flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back

So Fellas (yeah) Fellas(yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back"


Lula proceeded to shake her "healthy butt" and everything else on her. The beads in her hair where swinging around and if it had been me I'd have knocked myself out with them

"I like'em round and big
And when I'm throwin a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And UH, double up UH UH"


Lula looked like she was air humping something. Oddly I wasn't at all shocked.

"I ain't talkin bout playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
I wannem real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mixalot's in trouble
Beggin for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knockin these bimbos walkin like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas
I wanna get with ya
I won't cus or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna --
Til the break of dawn
Baby Got it goin on
Alot of pimps won't like this song
Cuz them punks lie to hit it and quit it
But I'd rather stay and play
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on

So ladies (yeah), Ladies (yeah)"


She would swing her head from side to side sing Mix's part and then the girls' reply.

"Do you wanna roll in my Mercedes (yeah)
Then turn around
Stick it out
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back

(LA face with the Oakland booty)
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo ain't got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"

So your girlfriend throws a Honda
Playin workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So cosmo says you're fat"

Lula was shaking her finger and tossing her head in a 'devil may care what they think' type gesture.

"Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin
And I'm thinkin bout stickin
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it miss thing
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice did miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back"

Lula jumped up at the end of the song and then stopped moving. I don't know how she could stop all that shaking and wobbling and not fall down. I couldn't do it when I was sober. The bar erupted into applause and laughter. Men wolf whistled and Lula blushed holding her head up as she walked to our table.

"Now that's how to do it. You little white girls don't know nothin' come on Steph it's your turn." I thought about wimping out and then looked at our table filled with empty glasses and at Joe's laughing face and turned and saw Ranger smirking.

"Chicken Babe?"

"No." I replied huffily. "I'm going." I pulled myself out of the booth and swayed a little on my feet. I wanted to drop into Ranger's lap but thought better of it and headed to the stage. I stood up and listened numbly while I was introduced. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard. Maybe this was just like getting a skip. Act determined and don't show fear, besides what's the worst that could happen? I had an image of me singing and then the speakers catching on fire burning down the entire place. Just my luck. I barely heard as the DJ introduced me