a/n i own no lotr stuff but my guide is certified! ...by me

Chapter 2 : Preparation

Good! You've decided to get one. You now will have to prepare a room for your little hobbit.

Find a room in your house that is small but cozy. Put in round windows and make the ceiling lower. If your a lazy bum, make the floor Higher. You will need a crib that's fool-proof, for your hobbit might look dumb and well he might be dumb too, but he can always escape. NOTE: DO NOT LEAVE ANY POINTY OBJECTS IN THERE ROOM, IT WILL FACINATE THEM, ESPECIALLY CODE 3: AKA PIPPIN, AND IT CAN LEAD TO WORLD-WIDE TERROISM.

Now choosing other furniture can be quite easy. You need a dresser that only go's 3 ft off the ground and you'll need a desk with a roll-around chair, preferably with lots of books ( see tips on books later in chapter).

The harder options will be your carpeting and paint. With paint you need to go to Lowe's or Home Depot and look for the Middle earth color swatches ( Across from the Disney collection and next to the Lizzie McGuire paint options). A few of the select hues are good for most hobbits. " Shire Mellow", " Rosie's cotton, Bagend Brown, Into the West yellow, Frodo's blue eyes, and " Apples From Farmer Maggot." Avoid any Middle earth colors from the limited edition " Mordorian Cheer" or " Isengard Bliss" such as " Ring of fire red" or " Orc", they will make your hobbit very scared and will turn them evil eventually. Carpeting I would advise you use the same hues, but a bit darker, Hobbits are VERY messy.

Books we advise having in your hobbit room should be fun but learned. Things like " The Shire: My only home" "There and Back Again: A Hobbits Tale" " What I see in the West" " My Love of Elves" " How to be a Master Cook: I always Brought my Seasonings" and " The Lord of the Rings".

Let see, you've prepared your family and a room, oh yes, we also would advise you start buying food from a bulk store. With normal little Babies, they start to eat regular food gradually, with hobbits, they could eat 5 pound of cheese and a six pack of suds by the time there delivered.

Note: We also advise, if they don't mention it, Not to give your hobbits alcoholic beverages ( Again, the pointy object mixed with drunkenness, world-wide terrorism). Some of the models will demand pints until your ears fall off, so you might not have a choice, but again, it is best to give them none.

OK, it seems you've prepared all you can, you're order will be here soon!