a/n; i own no lotr stuff

Chapter 3: Identification and arrival date

Yes yes yes, some of the hardest parts of having a hobbit is figuring out witch one is witch. Below I give you a little diagram.

Frodo: Is a fairly small hobbit with dark brown curly hair and piercing blue eyes and paleish skin. NOTE: If your daughter is swooning, its Frodo!

Sam: is a round hobbit who will ask you about cooking up some coney stew. He has a big smile and brownish-blond hair.

Pippin: Looks very sweet and innocent. If you are not able to identify, you'll know it pippin if all your cheese is gone and select items are smashed. Has curly brown hair, a cute, funny accent, and a mischievous but none the less adorable smile.

Merry: Will always be asking for Pippin. Is slightly taller then your average hobbit, thanks to the ent wash. Has a mix of brownish-blondish-light brownish hair, a round nose, and a chin you fall in love with.

NOTE: If your hobbit is nothing like this, its not a big deal UNLESS it starts mumbling in black speech and stealing all the shiny and pointy objects from your house. Then you MUST dispose of it. ( Again, World-wide terrorism)

I Hope I've given you enough to work with. If you have any questions about the identity of you hobbit, just call 1-800-MYPOORUNIDENTIFIEDHOBBIT

When you send your application in and you get a phone call, our services will tell you what the arrival date will be. On that day, wake up extra early and you will see a humongous box on your doorstep. Don't bring it in you r house, just open it outside. The hobbit has never been exposed to sunlight, so when you open it, it might scream, cry, shriek, and curl into fetal position, that's all normal. The first word you say to them must be " I'm ( Your name) and this is my family, ( Names) and you are ( Hobbits name) aren't you. Pippin will be confused, Merry will be looking for Pippin, Sam will be hungry, and Frodo, well with Frodo, all things are possible. If you ordered 2 hobbits, beware of the mix of Pippin and Merry, again, the word-wide terrorism thing! Make them familiar with there surroundings. I'll tell you, the trick with any hobbit is give them a good book, a good bed and good food and they'll love you. Put them to sleep at around 6 o'clock that night, they need a good night sleep.