Well... my first... uwaaah I feel like I lost my virginity! I want it baaaack! Ahem...Anyway, the warnings are as follows: yaoi Gash x Kiyomaro, (pedophilia if you consider it that), minor mature content, possible grammar and spelling mistakes concerning the names, and the chance that this will completely and totally suck...well, I hope this goes well, if it doesn't, be gentle. Even though this is listed as a one-shot because I am lazy, I might do a sequel. The GashxKiyo fanfics are lacking in population anyway.
The Heero Complex
Gash absently turned the volume up on the T. V. Meanwhile, he shoved a fistful of popcorn into his mouth. The mantis-man saved the beautiful, scantily-clad woman from the villain. Gash wondered if one day, the villain would win over the beautiful heroine. He hoped so, because that would mean he had a chance of capturing Kiyomaro's attention. Recently, despite all they had been through together, Kiyo had been seeking other people's company.
Even though Gash was his first, absolute, bestest friend.
Though, of course, Gash couldn't blame Kiyo. Gash had been feeling particularly unpleasant recently. Not like his face was ugly, (at least he hoped so), but he kept suppressing ugly, snaking feelings; a putrid loathing permeated his entire being whenever Kiyomaro exited the house or school grounds with someone other than Gash himself.
This particular day, however, Gash was just depressed. He didn't understand Kiyo. Kiyo had assured Gash many times that they were friends, yet Kiyo constantly spent time with his other, most definitely not as sincere, friends. Especially Suzume. Gash remembered one time, walking with Kiyomaro, when Kiyo had apologized. Gash didn't really remember what Kiyo had apologised for, but he had. Only a few minutes prior, Gash had indirectly to Kiyo he had a crush on the kind, if not a little dense, Suzume.
Now, however, his child's crush on Suzume seemed to be just that; a child's crush. No, that was all it was, for Gash had discovered that he loved someone else much, much, more. It just sucked that, the realization stemmed from deprivation.
Not long after Kiyomaro began to abandon Gash more often than normal, Gash realized what was happening. They were growing apart. Their lovely, beautiful friendship was breaking up.
Gash had immediately taken measures to prevent this rift from growing. In his eyes, he reached out for Kiyomaro to spend time with him- begging him to go to the park and such. Kiyomaro saw Gash interfering with his new life. So Kiyo responded to Gash's attempts with a casual disregard, or, if he were irritated enough, a tirade directed solely at Gash, which left him saddened, alone, and embarrassed. Because Gash was stupid to bother Kiyo.
Gash remembered the most recent attempt he had made to draw Kiyomaro back...
"Kiyo, Kiyo, let's go to the park!", cried an excited Gash. It had been so long since he had spent any time with Kiyomaro.
"Not now, Gash."
"Awww, Kiyooooooo, pleeeeeeeaaaseeeee-,"
"I said no, Gash, for the last timeI am not going to the park with you.", Kiyomaro all but shouted.
Gash fell silent. "Well, fine then," he said after a few moments. "I'll just go by myself then! Gyahaha!" he finished with a triumphant and confident laugh.
Thank god, Kiyo had thought, and even though he hadn't said it out loud, it was apparent on his features.
Gash also remembered what he had thought that afternoon, almost a month ago. He had thought that, Kiyomaro was right. This was the last time.
The almost-month had been passed by watching television when Gash was not at school or helping Kiyo's mom. And between the influence of the television and his neglect, Gash came to realize that what he felt for Kiyomaro was not just friendship or brotherly love. It was not even loyalty which had come from the mutual benefit of the human-mamodo partnership. It was a love, a adoring love for Kiyo, and it made him feel faintly sick when he first acknowledged it for what it was.
Gash couldn't stand feeling sick with himself, over love. Love was supposed to be wonderful, pure and untaintable. At least, that was what his limited experience had taught him.
And Gash decided, he was done, he would not feel jilted, nor depressed, lonely, stupid, and humiliated, not anymore, never again. And he would especially not feel ill with himself because he was having feelings that would surely be denied. Gash knew that his feelings would be mocked by the general public, who would not believe that a seemingly average child could seriously fall in love; but what mattered more was what Kiyo would think. Kiyo would most definitely consider Gash sick, knowing that Gash was a mamodo, and be disgusted at the prospect of a child who was his partner in the battle for king being in love with him. The age gap would still be large even if they were both a decade older, which they weren't. They pair of them were still a small child (however inhuman) and a teenager. Besides, Gash was not under the impression that Kiyo liked boys the same as girls. Kiyomaro had always been annoyed by Gash's presence anyway.
Gash, like any other person, with the exception of the masochistic, avoided being hurt. So he defended himself the only way he knew how: he stopped caring. Caring would only reveal weaknesses that would be exploited by those looking to harm him (like Naomi), and people unthinkingly teasing him (Kiyomaro's kaa-san would think that his crush was cute, but only a crush). So he rendered himself impervious and indifferent to the world around him. Of course, he covered up any major changes with his happy face. Just to stop too many questions from being asked, anyway. Gash appeared as normal as usual, though he avoided Kiyomaro, (who was openly relieved), and if one payed attention, they would be privy to Gash's bursts of uncanny insight.
But all in all, Gash did not care. He did not care when Kiyomaro's mother often left to do shopping or visit friends from around the neighborhood or her husband in England. He did not care when Kiyo left to 'hang out' with his 'friends'. He did not care when Kiyo brought said friends over, and ignored him. He did not care when Kiyo brought one friend in particular over, the one who used to be their friend. He did not care when he was kicked out of his and Kiyo's room for hours a time. Gash did not care when he could hear whatever Kiyo and Suzume were doing upstairs. Gash didn't care that he had to turn up the volume on the T.V. to drown out the noise. Gash did not care when his heart constricted with jealousy that Kiyomaro would rather spend time with Suzume than him. Gash did not care that he was alone, because deep down, all Gash cared about was that Kiyomaro was happy.
The End
Well, that was short. And sappy and sad. Eeeewww. I hate Suzume. If you hate stupid Suzume too, review and we can start a we hate Suzume and her creepy faced-fruits club. Haha, I'm such a trickster, trying to get you to review, ne? well, I hope you didn't want to shoot yourself with whatever when you were reading this. Cuz, I know I did when I was writing this, because I put Kiyo and Suzume together. ugh.