Uh Oh-The Plan Unfolds!

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A hand popped out of the ground. "Raugh! Edward! Alphonse! Hang in there, I'm on my way." Winry pulled herself out of the pit she was buried in. "I won't die so easily! This isn't how it ends!" She stood. "I'm coming, Edward..." she ran off.

"Augh...where---H-huh!"

"Brother!"

"Al, are you alright!"

"Brother, I'm in pieces! Everywhere! I can't even see my own body!"

Edward gasped. "Alphonse...?"

"Yes brother?"

"I know where we are..." They were in a room, Edward's arm and leg missing, a curtain seperating them from the rest of the room. Still, Edward could see from under the curtain, the room was bright, and pink. "We're..." footsteps were heard. The curtain was pulled back. "Winry!" Edward shouted. "Thankl goodness you're here, I---"

"Can it!" Winry shouted. Ed's eyes grew wide. "Winry...what did you, forget about me and Al?" Winry laughed. "No, I could never forget..." She pulled out Edward's arm and leg. "...my two bestest friends..." Alphonse gasped. "Winry! What's gotten into you?" Ed screamed. "I don't exactly know, but it sure did feel great, taking Alphonse apart!"

Edward chuckled, tears in his eyes. "You're not Winry. The real Winry would never do or say anything like that."

Winry gasped. "I am too the real Winry!" Edward looked up, smirking. "Alright then..." Edward took a deep breath, and looked down, crying. Winry looked confused. "Brother?" Al asked.

"I will go down with this ship..." Edward sang, crying. There was a pause.

"And I won't put my hands up and surrender." Al sang. "There will be no white flag above my door." they sang in unison. Edward looked up at Winry. "You finish, just like we did when we were kids, right, Winry?"

Winry laughed. "Okay, okay, you got me...Winry isn't behind all this..." Winry morphed into the Colonel. "Mustang is! No...? How about, Hughes?" Roy morphed into Hughes. "Not Hughes? How about...the insane butcher!" transforming and morphing and changing! "You--you're that homunculus!" Al said. "Show your true form!" Edward demanded. "Okay, fine..." the thing transformed into... "uhh...I said your real form, not a palm tree."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A PALM TREE, SHRIMP!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' A MOUSE-SO-SMALL-YO-FAT-MAMA-STEPPED-ON-HIM-AND-DI'INT-EVEN-KNOW-IT, HUH BITCH!" Edward screamed.

"Rrr!"

"Rrr!" they were face-to-face. Insulting one another. One was a palm tree, the other, an evil midget gnomelette. (gnomelettes o.0) Alphonse was sweatdropping.

"AHEM!" he snoughed. "Oh..."

"Right..."

"ANYWAY! I am Envy! Behold my power, fools!" Envy transformed into a kitten, then a tiger, then into Alphonse, then into Pinako. "I can fool anyone so blind!" he snorted as Edward. "Don't make me laugh, you don't act anything like me." Ed scowled. Evny's brow twitched. "I'm Edward Elric! I'm soooo short! Please don't step on me, or else I'll go crying to my little brother about how it's not fair how he's so much larger than me! WAAAH! Oh, I fell, oh! Now I'm crying! WAAAAH!"

"SHUT UP, PALM TREE!" Ed screamed. Envy changed back. "Yeah, whatever, now I'm gonna go torture the others, catcha later." Al tried to cock his head. He sighed. "The others?" Envy nodded. "Yes, the other gullible fools I tricked into my evil plan. There's two! A blonde, and the one she follows." With that, Envy left.

"A blonde, and the one she follows...hmm...OH! The colonel...oka--WAIT! Okay, it's alri--WAIT! Oh no! What's he got up his palm tree-branch-ish sleeves!" Al asked. Edward began laughing. "He's stupid." Edward sat up. "He left my arm and leg!" Alphonse smiled.

There was light..."Lieutenant?" ...mumbles... "Say something, Hawkeye!" ...more mumbles... "First Lieutenant Elizabeth Riza Hawkeye!" Roy screamed one last time. Some garbage shuffled around. Under all of the rubble and blood, Colonel Mustang heard a faint "Colonel, sir...I can't breath. There's blood everywhere. My leg...augh..." Roy's eyes grew wide. "Keep talking to me, I'm gonna get you outta here!" With that, Roy jumped into the dumpster. "Sir, just leave me and get out of this place."

"No! I can't do that! You were ALWAYS there for me, and I'm returning your loyalty."

"But, sir, you'll get killed." Hawkeye screamed softly. "Elizabeth! I am NOT going to let you throw your life away like this! I'm coming for you RIGHT NOW!" Roy swam further into the bloody tomb. Riza felt something grab her arm. "Sir?"

With all of the strenghth he had, Roy pulled Riza to the surface. He clenched the side of the dumpster, and hauled them over to it. "Hold on to me tight." Mustang ordered. Hawkeye nodded pathetically and put her arms around his waist. Roy pulled them up, and out of the dumpster. Gasping for breath, they hit the ground. "Thanks...Roy..." Hawkeye said. Did she just call me Roy! Mustang thought to himself. Riza's eyes shut. "AWWW!" Said a voice from inside the dumpster. "Who are you!" Roy demanded. "You know me..." Said the voice. Then, Lieutenant Havoc jumped out. "Remember, I left you in that car, SIR!" said Havoc. "Remember?" Roy looked up. "You...yes, I remember escaping, you left in there, a pipe! A tool like that could easily smash a window! I got out with no problem." He smirked.

"Yes, that's true..." said Havoc. "But here's where it gets interesting..." Roy looked confused. "Huh?"

Jean smirked. "Let's just say...you left something important in the trunk..." There was laughing. Maniacal, really. Roy looked behind himself, and Hawkeye was gone. "Rrr! Damn it! What now! Where is she!" Roy shouted. "She was never there." said another voice. "That, my friend, that you just rescued, was a fake!" Roy turned around to the source. "Who the hell are you!" He screamed. "Well, do I friggin' LOOK human!"

"No...You must be a homunculus! Which one are you?"

"Please, allow me to introduce myself, I am Wrath, and me and Envy here have a wonderful plan which I'm afraid involves you and the lieutenant dead!"

Roy looked confused. "You? You're just a pipsqueak little kid."

Wrath's eyes narrowed. "I AM NOT A PIPSQUEAK! RAAAH!" The child homonculus ran over, and kneed Roy in the stomach. Havoc, changed into Envy. "Thanks for giving away my position!" he screamed. "Uhh, Envy! I'm so sorry!" Said Wrath. "Please forgive me!" Envy just sighed. "Whatever, I just wanted to torture him by actually thinking the other lieutenant was behind all this."

"You bastards! Where is Riza! I swear, I just pulled her out of the dumpster!"

Envy knelt down at Mustang. "Nope! You pulled out a fake!" Roy's eyes widened. "How can there be a FAKE!" Wrath laughed. "Amazing what you can do with alchemy, isn't it? All you need, is some ingredients of the person you're trying to replicate, and a bit of incomplete Philosopher's Stone!"

"So what you're saying is...that wasn't Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

Envy and Wrath nodded. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"NO! It's not cool! WHERE THE HELL IS SHE!" Roy screamed. "I told you, Colonel...you left something important in the trunk!" Envy said, smirking. Roy gasped. A tear streaked down his face. "Damn..." He whispered. He shot up, and ran to where he escaped from the car. "Lieutenant Hawkeye! Damn! Which car was it! All the windows are smashed!" He began screaming at the trunk of each car. "Damn it! She's running out of air, and I have no idea where she is!" He heard squealing. A perticular car was shaking up and down. "Elizabeth! Riza!" He ran to the car and banged on the trunk. "Riza, Are you in there!" He put his ear up to the trunk. "Let me out! I can't...I can't breath!" she coughed. Mustang tried to lift the trunk, but it was locked. "Damn! Hold on, Hawkeye!" he ran off to find something to pry her out with. He came back moments later with a pry (wow...niffy). He pulled down to open the trunk, but it still wouldn't open. "Grr!" he shouted, which echoed. He took the pry out. "There's only one thing left to do." he said. "Well...hurry and...do it..." Riza said, obviously running out of air. Roy nodded, and drew a transmutation circle on the trunk. "Please work, please work." he prayed aloud. He clapped, put his hands down, and the trunk of the car was crushed. He gasped. "Hawkeye? Did it crush you?"

"Hurry up and pry the damn thing open! It just got more crowded!" She screamed. True, now he could pry it open easier, but it was pressed against Riza now, and if he didn't pry it soon, her lungs would be crushed. He got the pry once more, and pushed down with all his strenghth. The trunk opened, and there lay Lieutenant Hawkeye, hands tied. "That son of a bitch..." said Roy, pulling Hawkeye out of the trunk. She was gasping for air.

"Holy shit!" she screamed. "Untie me now!" Roy nodded and did as he was commanded. "Riza, I--there was a fake." Roy explained. "It's alright. I'm just glad you got here before it was too late." she said, feeling her wrists. "I was put into this dumpster by that homunculus, and then, when I arrived here, another one carried me out, and took some of my blood in a jar. Then, it stuffed me into the trunk, I saw you, but I couldn't breath enough to say anything."

"It's alright. I'm sorry I didn't notice you were in the trunk." Said Mustang with much concern. "Don't worry about it. That little bastard took my gun, I need it back if we want to help the others." Hawkeye said. "The others?" Asked Roy. "Yea, on the way here, in that dumpster, I saw Edward and Alphonse being taken apart by a small child. He had two different colored skin. His arm and leg were sort of sunburned (I dunno how else to discribe it, and all my friends say that). I think, Roy, that it was another homunculus." Riza finished. Roy nodded. "It's possible. In that case, we've gotta get rid of it somehow. I refuse to be taken down by a palm tree and a pipsqueak. Just a question, Liuetenant."

"What is it?" Hawkeye questioned.

"Why do you think that none of the other homunculi are involved in this sceme?" Roy asked.

The lieutenant shook her head. "I have no idea, but if you recall, by Hughes' research, the homunculus Envy was the one who was reluctant to work with the others. Perhaps this is just him and the other homunculus' plan. Maybe they wanted the stone all to themselves. And if Envy wanted it himself, he could easily take down his new homunculus friend."

Roy nodded. "I see. Now let's go find Edward and Alphonse." Before either of them could get up, a scream was heard. It was Edward's scream. "Oh no! We'd better hurry!" said Riza. Roy nodded, and they were off.

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Now we know whaz goin' down! But how can it be helped? OH GOD! THE SUSPENCE! (not really) -stabs Envy...who is a palm tree- Uhh, R&R...