FLIPPEDDEPPILF
Yuugioh does not belong to me.
Okay. I said the last chapter was weird? I take it back. This takes the cake. What drugs was I on when I wrote this, I don't know. If you're confused, I'm sorry. I'll try to clear things up next chapter.
God, I even sketched out a little drawing for this story. I have far too much time on my hands.
Oh, and Lily Bob, here's your Honda with raging hormones. Well, a peek. No Otogi, though, sorry.
And there they are, three males and one female standing under a rather bright streetlight. They don't mind, seeing as how it's five o'clock in the afternoon.
"Is she coming, or not?" Mokuba is beginning to get irritated with this whole thing.
"Why am I even here with you!" Sanouke cries despairingly. This is ridiculous, she thinks to herself. For some reason she tagged along when Katsuya, Seto and Mokey ran off to the place where the Rabid Fangirl had decided to meet up.
Katsuya—although, really, it's Seto in there—gives her a scathing look. "If you really don't want to be here, you can wait in the car."
"What? And miss you demolish that Rabid Fangirl?" She snorts incredulously. "Not bloody likely!"
Mokuba's loud cry of joy interrupts Katsuya before he can reply with some sort of derisive remark. "There! Is that her?" Before Sanouke can scold him for his lack of manners—he's pointing right at the approaching figures shamelessly—Katsuya jumps up excitedly.
"Yuugi-kun! Is that you, there?"
Before Katsuya can say another word, though, someone bombs him. Well, that's what if feels like to him, at least. There's a small chance it isn't, though, because as far as Katsuya knows bombs don't have arms and dark brown hair. "Ahhhh! SETO-KUUUUUNNN!" The bomb cries in a very high voice.
"Ahhhh! SETO-CHAN, it's a bomb!" He tries to pull the bomb away with his bare hands, but with Seto's exercised-deprived body, there's no way he's getting her off.
"It's the fangirl, you idiot," Sanouke replies in an amused voice, and quickly pulls something out of the inside of her jacket.
"What the—" All three males stare at her with identical expressions of complete shock. The fangirl—because it wasn't a bomb, that was just Katsuya being a dumbass—is too busy nuzzling Seto's lanky figure to notice.
And then she is hit on over the head with a dildo.
It is obvious in that moment Sanouke is not an old lady, and also that she is not a young lady. She's a deranged weirdo witch that belongs in some sort of institute. Would a sane person go around carrying a bright green dildo inside her coat? No, they would not, in case that question is difficult to answer.
In any case, the fangirl is now lying on the ground—twitching every few seconds—and Katsuya is huddled behind a wide-eyed Seto. Mokuba off to join Yuugi—who the fangirl left across the street in her hurry to reach Seto. After all, Yuugi did delay the end of the world at least five times before he was twenty. Perhaps his purple-slash-blonde hair held unimaginable powers of some sort. Either way, Mokuba hopes he'll stand a chance against an angry witch with a dildo.
"Finally! I shut that little bitch up!" Sighing, and pushing the neo green weapon back into its hiding place in her coat, Sanouke does not notice the odd looks that everyone—not counting the unconscious fangirl—is giving her. "Can we go back now? See, Katsuya? I told you that you weren't going to need to give her your body as payment."
"You never said that!" Katsuya cries indignantly, despite his immense fear of the bulge in her chest. "You said one has to be willing to do anything when faced with crazed fangirls!"
"Precisely! Why do you think I brought Kurosaki-sama?" She pats the swell lovingly.
"You named that thing!" An outraged voice calls from across the street. Sanouke, Seto and Katsuya all follow the direction of the voice and find themselves being taken aback . . . again. Damn, the surprises just keep on coming!
"Seto-chan! It's the fangirl! I think she's some sort of superhero, because she survived Sanouke's attack without a single scratch!" And so it seems, because standing next to Mokuba and a liberated Yuugi, stands a tall girl with short brown hair and a derisive expression pasted on her face. She looks no older than fifteen, and so obviously foreign.
"Hey! Are you from Italy?" Sanouke calls out to the girl. In reply she gets hit in the forehead with a large, light pink, plastic knife.
"Damn it, no! I'm COLOMBIAN, damn it!" She begins raging around Yuugi and Mokuba, causing the two short boys to look extremely frightened—with good reason, of course.
"Wait!" Seto cries out, using his eyes expertly to notice the answer to the age-old question: What is wrong with this picture? "The fangirl is still lying on the ground. How is she over there?" He nods over to the girl stand with Mokuba and Yuugi, still glaring angrily because of Sanouke's comment.
"Hi! Jou-kun!" Yuugi's waving rather energetically for a shrimp who just recently got kidnapped by a fangirl, and possibly her . . . twin. Or perhaps she's an alien.
"Hi, Yuugi-chan," Katsuya replies, anything but energetically. His mind is hurting from all these things going 'round and 'round. Fangirls? Twins? Kurosaki-sama?
Sudden Katsuya gets a . . . well he has an idea. He's not witty enough to come up with a cutsie word for it, so he doesn't. He grabs Seto's hand and begins running across the street—thankful that there aren't any cars—towards Yuugi and Mokuba. Sanouke lets out an outraged cry from behind them, and follows on their heel.
"Don't leave me behind, damn it!"
Katsuya is breathing hard by the time they get there. Oddly enough, the street isn't all that large. Katsuya curses Seto's body and makes a note to force him to go to the gym more often. Will probably make all the difference during sex, too.
Yuugi gives Katsuya a worried glance. "Are you alright, Jounouchi-kun? You look really out of breath."
"I AM!" He points an accusing finger at Seto. "It's all because he can't take care of his own damn body!"
"I so can!" There's a long pause in which everyone looks at Seto oddly. When did Seto become a five-year-old? "I mean, I certainly do not. I mean, I DO SO!" Mokuba giggles under his breath at his brother's quirky attitude. "You know, what, I hate you all!" With that, he stomps off down the street, in the opposite direction of his house.
"Erm, Jounouchi-kun," Mokuba asks Katsuya in a low whisper. "Isn't our house that way?" Katsuya shrugs. Seto must be hiding his drugs in some obscure place in his room. Why else would he be so inexplicably moody all the time, even after—
"Um," Yuugi interrupts Katsuya's . . . unsavory train of thought with a hesitant voice. "D'ya think I can . . . go home now?"
"No!" This sudden outcry reminds all present parties that there is indeed a kidnapper afoot. She is currently an awake kidnapper, and Katsuya finds himself being . . . glomped by her, for lack of a better word. "Oh my dear, dear Seto-kuuuuuun, how I've missed you!" The fact that this strange girl is rubbing her face against his chest—which feels nice when he's doing it to Seto.
"Get off!" He yells savagely, pulling her off him. He's never been one to care about being gentle when people spontaneously attack him, and he's not going to start now. "Stop it! Perverted fangirl! Stop! I'm going to get a disease! Stop giving me STDs! Ahhhhh! Yuugi-kun, help me! Mokuba-kun! Sanouke-sama!" He's so intent on this task of screaming his head off and awaken several bad-mannered housewives armed with pans, he doesn't notice that the offensive fangirl has been pull away and hit over the head with a large book.
"Hey! How come you didn't call my name?" Seto asks, a frown on his brow, and the abovementioned book in his hands. "I knew that this book would come in handy!"
As soon as the other catch the title of the book, they inch away from Seto. Suddenly, in their mind, they have gotten more information than they rightly need or want. They are in no way conservative about sexuality, but imagine being a young boy and catching your brother in the possession of a rather large, hardcover How-to sex book. For men.
"Seto-nii . . . what the hell are you doing with that?" Mokuba asks his onii-sama, pointing to the large book.
"I . . .erm . . . " At least he has the decency to look embarrassed. "It's Katsuya-chan's!" He answers quickly, throwing it at him.
"What. . . what!" Katsuya sputters, kicking the book away as soon as it lands on his lap—he's still on the ground. "No, it's not!"
And chaos ensues. That is, until Sanouke gets tired of their annoying antics, and knocks them all out with one swipe, thanks to Kurosaki-sama.
"Oh, Seto-chhaaaannn, that sure feels niiice."
"Yes, there, Katsuya-chan. Oh god, don't stttooppp."
"Seto . . . c-chan"
"Katsssuyaa- ah . . . "
Mokuba exchanges an amused glance with Honda. "It's kind of scary how in sync they are, isn't it?"
Honda nods energetically. "I mean, how is it the two of them at having nearly the same wet dream at the same exact time?"
"Actually, I think Jou-kun came first," Ryou adds, unhelpfully.
Yuugi raises an eyebrow, but his cuteness is still rather unrivaled. "You know, Ryou, I don't want to know how you realized that. I really don't."
Honda leans forward curiously, "I would. Unless it has something to do with staring at Jou-kun's—"
He is not allowed to finish what he was saying before something flat and thin hits him on the head and shatters. "Hentaaaiiii!" Anzu cries, pointing at Honda and Ryou hectically and accusingly. "You assholes! How are those two going to get any sleep with all of you leaning over them? What kind of perverts are you, that you stare at people while they're having wet dreams, anyway! God!"
"Shut up, you little-"
"Anzu-chan, I was NOT HAVING A WET DREAM!"
"Your pants say otherwise," Honda mutters under his breath, covering up his words with an obviously faked cough. He gets a smack upside the head for his efforts.
"What the hell are you people doing in my room!" Katsuya whines, trying to shift the conversation from the sleazy dream he had been having.
"This isn't your room." Sanouke walks in—clothed in her youth appearance—a tray holding several steaming cups of something balanced between her hands. "It's mine."
Honda is immediately up, and out of the chair he had pulled over next to Mokuba and Ryou's. Imagine Katsuya's utter surprise seeing Honda helping Sanouke with the tray. "Let me help you with that."
"Stupid bisexual asshole," Anzu mutters angrily under her breath, just jealous that she didn't think of it first.
"What am I doing in your room?" Katsuya cries, sitting up and looking around for the first time. He isn't sure whether he's angry because he's not at home or because everyone's ignoring him.
"You're too damn loud, Katsuya-chaaan," Seto mutters, pulling a pillow over his blonde head as he kicks the blonde in a brunette's body.
"What do you care? You're usually out of bed by the time I wake up!" Katsuya has completely forgotten about the whole I-am-in-a-stranger's house . . . for about ten seconds.
"Fuck you," is Seto's oh-so-eloquent reply, slightly muffled by the pillow.
"Too l-aah shit!" As he bellows out the last part, Katsuya is jumping out of the bed, displaying his dark red boxers to everyone in the room. Everyone averts their eyes, hoping not to see the evidence of his . . . dream. "My dad's gonna be so damn pissed that I didn't come home last night! He'll have the cops on me, no doubt!"
Sanouke sipping her drink as she leans lazily against the doorframe. "Ah, I'm way ahead of you. I called him and told him you were completely wasted and sleeping it off at my house. By the way, he's gonna want to talk to you about that when you go upstairs."
"Whaaaa?" Katsuya finds himself gaping openly at Sanouke's nerve. She couldn't think of a better lie. You know, one that wouldn't get him knee deep in shit?
"Oh, I probably could have, bozu, but this is much more fun." She lets out a completely female laugh, and Katsuya adds another reason to his long list of Why Katsuya Does Not Screw Girls.
"Erm, Jou-kun," Yuugi asks tentatively, poking him in his stomach to get his attention. "Why is it I was kidnapped in the first place."
This suddenly reminds Seto of the happenings of the night before. He jumps up with as much speed as Katsuya had. "Bitch! You knocked me out with giant dildo!" Even though this is exactly what had happened, Sanouke glares at him, obviously letting her eyes speak for her.
And her eyes said, "Don't be an idiot, I did no such thing!"
"You did!"
Interrupting their argument, a girl comes in, her hair mussed and her eyes still groggy from sleep. "God damn it, Sanouke-chan! Keep it down. I hate it when Mom sends me to stay with you! You keep the oddest company." With that, she walks off again, muttering something in English about the damn Japanese.
After a delay of about ten seconds, Katsuya cries out in shock. "Ah! That was the fangirl!"
Yeah, yeah, ass chapter. Please forgive me, I wanted to update on WEDNESDAY. I like pretending I can be punctual.
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