Double-Dealing
A/N: Thanks for the reviews Mick and technetium! Hopefully the plot will shape up in the next few chapters... Oh yeah, I found that I tend to go towards humor whenever I can so I changed this story from General to General/Humor. Yup, just thought you would like to know!
Disclaimer: SG-1 is not my property… SG-1 is not my property…
Chapter Three: Double the Confusion
Jack and Daniel, who were closest to her, had to cover their ears and shut their eyes at the sound of her loud voice. As they opened their eyes, they stared in shock at the two who had entered the room…
"Whoa! We're going home!" Jack quickly said as he stumbled out of his chair.
"I agree with you Jack," Daniel found himself saying. Those words sounded foreign to his ears.
Sam had to hold back her laughter. Even Teal'c had a hard time repressing a smile.
"Carter, Teal'c, Daniel, let's go now," Jack commanded desperately.
"Right Jack, let's get going!" Daniel said.
"Daniel," Sam said, trying everything in her power to keep her composure, "You're in tights!"
"Ah! So, I have heard about these second class doubles. Second class, indeed," the Daniel-look-alike, no doubt the Prince, who wore red velvet tights much like the Shakespearean actors, said as he eyed Daniel.
"Nar, calm down! They aren't that bad," said the King, who looked exactly like Jack, except he had a long gray beard and slouched, which was most unlike the military posture of Jack O'neill.
"Fine, father," Prince Nar said as he went to stand beside a large mirror, "If you need me, I'll be practicing my lines with the greatest actor in the land!"
"Well, greetings my guests! I hope my wife has treated you well, thank you Kuki, and hopefully, you had no trouble finding my kingdom," the King said.
"Yeah, it was like a walk in the park… until your guards jumped us and locked us in the prison!" Jack barked.
"My, my, you are a handsome fellow," they heard Prince Nar muttering.
"I am most sorry about that… um… Well, I am somewhat embarrassed now to ask you this favor since we've treated you so ill…" the King said as he fidgeted with his beard.
The Queen sighed, got up and walked to the King, "Ful'ardi dear, just ask them! You are the king afterall!"
"Sire, I will ask them if you feel too ashamed to do so!" Balibob said dramatically as he stood up. "Pride is no object to me!"
"Pride! It's my damn pride!" King Ful'ardi said as he shook his fist in the air, "Damn you pride!"
"Well, it seems that your looks aren't the only things you guys share," Daniel said with a chuckle.
Sam and Teal'c joined him in the laugh.
"Alright!" the King shouted, "I'll do it!"
"Good for you dear!" the Queen said.
Balibob plucked another feather from his collar and got out another journal entitled "Historical Moments of the Royal Family: The King Shedding His Pride". He was poised and ready to capture the moment the King proposed his request.
"You must help us. We are in mortal danger," the King said, about ready to choke on his words, "Th-there will be… an assassination attempt on us! The lovable royal family!"
"Your highness, that's awful. How would you like us to help?" Sam said, feeling like she should calm the man down before he keeled over, choking on his pride.
Jack shot her an alarmed look. One that read: 'Oh God, Carter, what are you doing?'
"It's alright, sir," Carter reassured him, "I'm sure that in exchange for our assistance they would be willing to give us naquadah. Plus, they obviously need our help."
"They are in serious need of help," Teal'c commented.
"Fine!" Jack said to the King, "What do you need us to do? We can get more men and set-up a watch around the parameters."
"Ah, no… that won't be necessary," King Ful'ardi said. "Balibob, if you please."
"Well, you see, the assassination attempt will be held in two days at the Courtship Ceremony where anyone who's anyone from all the nearest kingdoms will be in attendance," Balibob said.
"Yeah, what's that got to do with us? Like I said, we can call for back-up. We've got technology like you wouldn't believe," Jack said.
"Not necessary, you see, we only need you. Specifically, you three," Balibob said as he looked from Daniel to Sam and then finally, to Jack.
Sam couldn't believe what they wanted them to do. She was speechless. Daniel clearly knew what they wanted them to do and grimaced as he looked over at Prince Nar. Jack, on the other hand, looked at them blankly.
"What?" he asked.
"Sir, you do know what they want us to do right?" Sam said.
"Sure…" he said hesitantly, "Whatever we need to do to get that naquadah, right?"
Daniel put his face in his hands. Teal'c gave him a pat on the back for comfort. Unfortunately, the pat was too strong and sent Daniel's face crashing into the marble table.
"Mind explaining?" Jack said.
"Sir, they want us to shadow(1) them."
"What?"
"They want us to go undercover as the Royal Family to find the assassin at this Courtship Ceremony," Sam clarified.
"I know what shadowing is! I meant what as in, no!" Jack clarified to Sam.
"Oh please, you must help us!" the Queen said as she got on her knees. "Please!"
"Don't you care about our lives?" King Ful'ardi said.
"Oh, you're the best. No, you are," they heard Prince Nar arguing with his reflection.
Jack rolled his eyes, "No, not really."
"Okay, this might be the anthropologist in me speaking but, I think we have to help them save their lives," Daniel said, painfully aware of what he will have to wear.
"I think Daniel's right," Sam agreed.
"Besides, are they not loved by their own people? Even in the prison cells, they were calling out for the Prince," Teal'c said. He had nothing to lose, afterall.
"Don't come complaining to me when you're shot by the assassin," Jack resigned.
"You'll do it?" Balibob said ecstatically, "They'll do it!"
The Queen jumped up and hugged the King. Meanwhile, Prince Nar continued to 'run lines with himself.
"Narcassous, come join your family!" Queen Kukinis shouted.
"What a name," Daniel muttered.
"It's yours now," Jack said, smiling.
"Shtup! Come, come! No more sitting! There is much to do, to learn!" Balibob said.
"Hey Bob, calm down," Jack said nonchalantly.
Balibob took another feather from his collar and whipped out a book entitled "Dealing With Foreign Ingrates". He began to scribble furiously.
"We're the ones helping you out, remember that."
As the three were being ushered out of the room, Teal'c stood up to follow them.
"Shtup! I'm sorry, but we don't need you," Balibob said.
"But we do," Jack growled.
"Can't you find a position of some sort for him?" the King coerced Balibob.
"Hmm… I'll find something, your highness," he replied.
"I know one! How about this: our own personal royal guard," Jack said.
"Very well," Balibob sighed.
As Teal'c passed him, he gave him a cold, hard stare and then nodded to the Colonel in appreciation.
SG-1 was now ready to undergo the transformation.
To be continued…
(1) I'm not sure if I'm using 'shadow' in the correct sense. I was watching an episode of '24' and they used this term when a character went undercover as someone else.