Part 3: Decisions to Last a Lifetime

As I ran to the ER from the car of Mrs. Q as fast as I possibly could, memories of so many times passed by me. I couldn't think properly and the road which had seemed to be so bright and hopeful, curved around into nothingness. I thought of the day we met, our first date, our first kiss, the proposal and our dream-like wedding. Everything was just so perfect.

As I was sprinting to the nurse's station to find out where they had placed him, I saw his face. The tears started to roll once again.

"TOOYA," I cried with all of my might, "TOOOOOYA!"

Surprisingly, he was still semi-conscious after the trauma from the accident.

"…Aya…," he murmured in a voice that didn't seem to be his own. His beautiful face was scared with blood and bandages.

I ran to his bedside and became even more depressed as I saw the various tubes and instruments protruding from his saintly body. Though I knew I shouldn't have, I wept over his body in awe and shock of what had happened.

"This happens to other people, but not us. It can't happen to us! Oh, please let me wake from his nightmare! Please let this not be true." My soul screamed in my ears. "It can't happen. Not to T-tooya! Oh … Tooya."

I touched his once fiery, flaming red hair, now limp at his side.

It seemed as though I stood there for an eternity, crying my eyes out over the very person I loved the most in this world.

A doctor came, then two. They had come to comfort and prepare me for unimaginable loss.

I can't exactly remember what they said, as I was still in a daze, thinking of my sweet Tooya, laying there on the bed, motionless.

All I remember was them telling me that the chances of him surviving this accident were next to nothing and that he would soon be brain-dead. They gave me my options: to allow him to live on with the aid of machines in hopes of recovery or to allow him to pass in a few hours, machines gone.

I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to say.

This had to be a bad dream. It just had to be!

As my world lay crumpling… as I stood, helpless…

This is not the time for self-pity! It's time for me to make a decision… a decision for Tooya.

"OH GOD! I can't do this. Oh God. Please… please. Just, just this once… Please let this Cup be taken from me." I had remembered the Bible. I had remembered prayer. I had remembered my Lord, the one whom I had abandoned for so long in search of the Hagoromo.

This should not have been the time and way to be returning, but I knew that He was there for me. Unlike I had, I knew he wouldn't abandon me. He would know just what to do. Everything was part of the Plan. But – but why Tooya?

Sadly, I told Him and my beloved, that I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't make the decision. I was too weak. I couldn't do it.

I fought, I cried, I struggled.

Why was I so weak? He was counting on me; the moment that he really needed me, why couldn't I make a decision. Why?

I wanted to die – to die and take Tooya with me. Then we could have been together forever! Wasn't that so? Wasn't it?

"Aya…………….." Tooya spoke, softer than in a whisper.