Disclaimer:

I disclaim.

Natterings: It always seems to take me some time to get my ass in gear to write another chapter in this hurried story. But believe it or not, here it is! Yes it is! My faithful audience and loud reviewers and silent readers, I proudly present, THE SIXTH CHAPTER (collective "ohm's" and "ah's" are heard in the background)…

Chapter 6:

Trying and Syaoran's Mother-Assured Sex Appeal

Huffing, Sakura slammed the Jeep's door shut.

How dare she!

After almost having her killed she still had the nerve to ask her to go to that effing dinner!

She was Tommy after all…

ARGH!

Shooting for a grand retreat with a flipping of hair and nose in the air, Sakura tried to turn around and stomp away.

Tried being the key word here.

As she grandiosely tried to turn around, she found that she simply couldn't.

So she tried again…

And again…

Nope, still not working.

Hearing the almost hysterical laughter that came muffled from the inside of the Jeep, Sakura, with all the dignity in her, turned and seized the tail of her trench coat and gave a vicious yank.

Hearing a horrible—satisfying to Sakura's ears—rip that prophesied the freedom of movement, Sakura tried another shot at her grand exit with a trailing piece of ragged trench coat sweeping her way.

She flipped her hair, stuck her nose in the air, and she sauntered away a few steps.

Then, with a resounding THUD, Sakura was flat on her face, with Tomoyo's shrieking laughter echoing in her ears and the honk of the Jeep beeping madly, in time to Tommy's fists that were slamming against the wheel.

So much for grand retreats.

Even she knew when to give up in a dramatic exit…they never did seem to work right for her.

Heaving a silent sigh, Sakura scooted herself up and dusted her already soiled clothing. She straightened her coat's collar and walked away as if nothing at all had happened.

(Mâgo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mâgo)

Impossible.

I still couldn't believe that I, the most sensible person of all times had accepted to form part of this demonic ritual. It was preposterous! Who, in their five senses, would accept such a proposal? Well, me!

But it didn't matter how completely stupid the whole thing seemed, I was still getting ready to attend the sweet 'reunion' of the two lovebirds that barely remembered each other.

Cursing and muttering, I violently started brushing my hair (another form of punishment also known as masochism…) and tried to at least arrange the bird's nest I called hair. Or at least find it a shape, for God's sake!

I had managed to almost completely bald before the age of twenty and to tangle my hair even more when my adored, beloved, darling, sweet, bitch, dictator, traitor—ahem, when Daidouji entered the room.

"What do you need, darling?" I asked through clenched teeth as I continued the savage plunges against my poor hair that, when you think about it, didn't have the fault of Tomoyo's stupidity—I mean Daidouji.

The bitch was literally oozing happy bunnies and fluff. Since she had entered, she had done nothing else than walk around, picking up things and tossing them again when she had finished toying with them after a few seconds.

Talk about metaphors.

"A lot of help the one who doesn't bother, Daidouji," I growled, totally giving up on my hair and throwing the brush, which zoomed suspiciously and accidentally way too close to Tomoyo's perfect and surgically intervened nose.

…Accidentally, I swear!

"It's a pleasure seeing you too, Sakura," Tomoyo answered with a stupid grin that showed laserwhitened teeth. "Do you need some help?" she asked sweetly, already taking the brush from my clenched hand without waiting for an answer. She started brushing expertly, softly working through the dough that I call hair. If she thought that by doing that she was going to convince me, she was very mistaken!

Very much mistaken!

…Damn, the bitch knows my weak spots.

Soon enough, I forgot about my savage anger and started to relax before Tommy's attentions. I was about to forgive her (after all, who can keep her anger against someone that brushes so well?) when the dense girl talked.

"You know? A bit of makeup wouldn't do any wrong, Sak-chan," she murmured suggestively.

She just had to ruin it, didn't she?

Immediately, my shoulders tensed and my face hardened.

Quite literally.

Daidouji seemed to notice my sudden change of humor, because she stopped her mild strokes and took a few steps back. Although I was sure the girl didn't have any idea as to why my drastic mood swing.

"What?" I asked softly, mi mind already reviewing quite some painful scenes in which Daidouji could find herself starring in these moments.

"You know, some blush here…a bit of gloss o-over th-there…" she left the sentence hanging upon seeing my features.

Finally it seemed that the potato had gotten my message. My rather clear message that screamed "OUT!".

But, it seemed that she wasn't about to give up, or the girl didn't notice my rather direct hint.

"It's just that…Suki, you have such a pretty face, but you don't care for it enough. For example, look at these wrinkles that you have in your forehead. You have them marked way too deeply. Haven't you thought about stopping the frowning? See? There you go again. You won't marry soon if you keep it up."

"WHAT? DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP FROWNING? I shall mention to you the points of torture that I never thought to reach, but I have in these few days, and consequentially I have these 'profound wrinkles'. Point number one, I find myself stuck organizing a freaking wedding, which, let me add, was thrown my way the last minute, giving me the total time of null to arrange my other RATHER important accounts with my other-just-as-important-clients, consequentially leaving my career hanging from a thread; second, I had to stand up to the insults of a damn eunuch that believes himself to be the Lord Almighty but doesn't even know the Lord's Prayer, and to turn out he was false! Third, now I have a criminal record for your fault, result of what? Of going SHOPPING WITH YOU! Would you like to explain? I DON'T THINK YOU CAN!"

Tomoyo seemed to change tactics upon noticing that Sakura wasn't going to give up with these steps. So, she lowered her eyes and started talking to the floor. Maybe a bit of guilt…

"No, I can't." And with a downcast face because of her 'obvious' failure, Tomoyo exited the room.

It didn't matter that I knew that that begging tone was completely false, and that the glassy eyes with signs of completely non-existent tears were a farce to make me feel guilty.

"If she thinks that I'm going down, she is badly mistaken. I AM NOT GOING TO THAT DINNER. Never…ever...not even for her…no for…"

Tomoyo, meanwhile, was waiting in the kitchen, her perfect nails softly drumming against the table's surface. She heard some clumping coming from the stairs, which could only mean that Sakura was coming.

"Feign indifference, feign indifference Daidouji!" she told herself, and she quickly opened the fridge's door as the clumping arrived. "Milk…milk…milk…where's the milk?" she said in a sing-song fashion.

"On the table, Daidouji," I answered dryly, my arms crossed.

Tomoyo lifted her gaze and acted surprised, as if she hadn't been waiting for me, the bitch.

"But of course! How stupid can I get?" Tomoyo took the container and tried to act knowing what the hell to do with this white and liquid substance that she know had on her hands. If only Sakura would stop scrutinizing her! Maybe she could think more clearly and thus, act. Ah, but no! The bitch just had to stare at her every movement…suddenly, a perfect idea came to mind. With a firm and direct pace, she took out a tiny bowl, served some milk, and placed it on the floor.

"Kitty…kitty, kitty! Come kitty!" she said with saccharine voice as she kneeled and made absurd signs as if to attract the pet's attention.

"Tomoyo…"

Tomoyo so totally ignored me. "Kitty! Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!"

"Tomoyo…"

"Come cutie kitty! Come, come, come!"

"Tomoyo, the cat's been dead for more than a year. You said so yourself," I replied dryly, in my eyes an infinite grace.

"Kit—oh." Tomoyo then straightened up and crossed her arms. "Damn cat," she muttered, and then, with the brightest smile, looked up to me. "Shall we go?"

"¬-¬ I'm ready."

(Mâgo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mâgo)

Eriol was standing below the doorframe, his back casually leaned against the wall and his eyes narrowed, waiting for his friend to finally get back to earth and remember that today he had a thoroughly important date to which he was doomed to go, wanted to, or NOT.

His hair was wet, and his glasses had slid down his nose a bit. He was really bored. For starters, his SLOW wolf hadn't yet woken up, so this was still had a lot of ways to go.

Feeling the unmeasured need to scratch his head, Eriol raised his hand and started doing just that, when a magnificent idea to spend some time appeared.

Leaving all kind of shame behind (come on, after all, he was alone) Eriol both his arms to chest level and flexed.

Seriously, he contemplated his biceps for a moment and then mused, "Not bad, not bad at all…"

Taking advantage of his recently discovered talent for modeling, Eriol started trying various positions that he was sure would melt every woman.

After a moment, he tried a new and better pose: The Most Intellectual. He raised his right arm to his chin and lowered his eyelids to half mast, as if he was considering something really important. Next he raised his head a bit and arched an eyebrow…

And started humming one of his most favorite songs…

"You're so sexy, sexy, sexy…"

He was in his best pose, The Sexiest Model to Ever Walk on Earth, which consisted of a hand over his heart in a very gay manner and the other stretched against the wall, a bit farther up his head level, and his lips partially open, when Syaoran found him.

"Sexy, sexy…"

The wolf just arched an eyebrow as he saw what, exactly, Eriol was doing…

"Eriol, what in God's name are you doing?" Syaoran asked calmly after a moment's consideration and seeing his friend being somewhat…weird.

Eriol froze…in a very inconvenient pose. "I'm going to change," he said rapidly, and shot out of the room towards his bedroom, leaving behind his shattered pride.

Syaoran followed him up to his bedroom's door, slightly suspicious. Suddenly, Eriol came out wearing a pink shirt with the first three buttons undone.

"What do you think? Does this color suit me well?" he asked, striking another one of his sexy poses. "I don't know, I think pink makes me look somewhat pasty, don't you think? What if I better try on the blue one? I'd look sexier with that one, no? Although, technically, that is impossible," he said with a wink. "Careful Syaoran, don't go lunging yourself at mi with my so immeasurable sex appeal. Or better yet, please do. Then I could say that I had the Great Xiao Lang in my arms."

"Eriol…" Syaoran started formulating a sentence, but his voice was quivering. He cleared his throat and tried starting again.

After several failed attempts at talking, he finally managed to formulate some words with a slightly gravelly voice. "Is there something you should tell me? You don't have to worry about anything, we-we have been friends forever; you don't have anything to be ashamed of with me. You can trust me. Don't you have to tell me something?" he repeated. There, he had said it. Now all that Eriol had to do was to deny it and then everyone would live happily ever after without having to worry about each other's sexuality.

Eriol thought for a few moments…

And finally answered very slowly, "No…I don't think so."

Syaoran started heaving a rather deep sigh of relief…

"Wait! Yes!"

And choked.

"We need to feed the cat!"

He could have punched Eriol in that moment…and as a matter of fact…he did.

"Ouch! What the hell was that for?"

"Your cat died a year ago, Eriol. ¬-¬"

Mortal silence.

"Yeah! Then, don't you want some flowers?" Eriol said, taking out a bouquet from behind him, causing Syaoran's almost death.

"F—for me!"

Eriol nodded enthusiastically, and Syaoran gulped with difficulty.

"E—Eriol, we have to talk." This was so definitely NOT happening. His best friend had not just given him a bouquet of flower and he was NOT wearing a pink shirt with the first three buttons undone and he was NOT checking him out.

"You're not going out like that, right?" Eriol said, ignoring him completely and eyeing him with obvious disapproval.

"Out where?" For a moment he forgot about his internal conflict.

And Eriol looked at him with exasperation. "To your engagement part, your hell, your perdition, your averno, however you wanna call it. It's in fifteen minutes."

Syaoran only shrugged. "If I go like this, do you think the crazy screaming banshee will dissolve our compromise?" he asked hopefully.

"¬.¬ Dream on, lover boy. Please do me the favor to turn around and look at yourself in the mirror, you mindless twit."

Eriol, without waiting a reaction from Syaoran, turned him around. "Look at yourself. I'm really sorry to burst your dream bubble, but it doesn't matter how much of a slob you are, or look," he quickly added as Syaoran shot him a death glare. "You will always look sexy. You will keep being and looking extremely attractive. Totally hot. Miss Shrieking banshee is bound to notice that. I mean, look at you! Look at that ass. Your butt is immensely similar to your mother's. So firm and soft…I would even daresay that it is your mother's. And then those squared shoulders…" Eriol trailed off as he was about to put his hands on the aforementioned part of Syaoran's body when the latter responded.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" And ran off in the opposite direction, where the room he had spent the night was.

"What are you going to do, Syao?" Eriol called as he heard the door slamming.

He didn't receive an answer…

And then…

"I'm changing!"

"Oh!" Eriol clapped his hands together and jumped in excitement. "Do you need some help, little wolf? I could help you if you were having some problems…"

"NO!"

(Mâgo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mägo)(Mâgo)

I kept my death glare firmly on the road, trying to ignore the happy squawks Tomoyo just didn't seem able to control. Really, I still didn't comprehend how come we were friends. There were too many differences between us, and yet this…this…friendship had survived more than five years.

And in reality I still didn't comprehend how come I was the one who was driving…It's not that it bothered me, but you need to take on count that when you 'best' friend is a multimillionaire and that this was HER event (to which I found myself much inconveniently dragged…) you would think that SHE would provide the methods of transport. I mean, it's not that I was ashamed of my beloved junkie, with which I had spent many experiences and many, many, many years, but something a bit more elegant wouldn't have done anybody any kind of harm…maybe a LIMO, perhaps?

With these thoughts running through my head, I opened by rather big mouth.

"I still don't understand why I am the one driving," I muttered, mi irritation demonstrating itself in my voice.

Tomoyo's nattering ceased.

And I tightened my hold on the steering wheel, trying not to lose my rather scant, at the moment, wits.

"Well…it's…I don't want Syao-kun thinking…"

It seemed as if Daidouji was having some problems to talk…

Heaving a sigh of irritation or resignation I'll never know, she started again.

"Sak-chan, you know better than anyone how much this means to me. I mean, all this is simply insane. I don't even know him, for God's sake! And it's not as if I should care…I mean, I am pretty, beautiful…and for real, what I don't like him? I mean, I know it can sound a bit shallow and selfish, but come one, let's be realistic, I wouldn't marry someone who has two left feet, or that is a complete dumbass! Besides…"

"Tomoyo…"

"…nothing has to do with the other. I shouldn't care as much…and maybe all of this is a completely insane idea…but here I go, no? Ah, but I had to be the stupid one, ne?"

"Tomoyo…" Damn it, was this bitch deaf!

Oops, minor slip there.

"Besides, it had to be Yelan the one who arranged everything, ne? Is she so sure of his son's sex appeal or WHAT?" Tomoyo's eyes were streaming with tears.

"Tomoyo…" And she was only going out to meet him…imagine her wedding day…bleh, not a nice picture.

"Don't interrupt Sakura; I'm in the middle of a nervous crisis, panic attack, whatever…and what if nothing works? And what if there's nothing of nothing? There's no chemistry between us, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing…"

"TOMOYO"

"I just don't want to be the typical snob, Sakura," Tomoyo finalized, her eyes sad.

"You are not Tomoyo, there's more to you than meets the eye. You're not only money and appeal," I told her softly. "Besides, he is your cousin; I don't think there's a lot of difference as to where money is concerned. Really, I don't think there's something about him worth worrying. You just know how much I hate saying this Tommy, but you are beautiful, and nobody can take you that. So you are going to get there with your chin held high, irradiating money and chic, got that? Now, stop crying, that you're ruining your make up, and we know that a bride without her make up…"

"Won't have a wedding wake up!" Tomoyo chorused with a giggle. "Thank you Sak-chan, I don't know what I would do without you."

"You'd die," I answered her with a wink.

"Nah, not really. I think I would be better off without somebody who's scolding me at every turn…"

"I still don't understand why I'm driving," I said between clenched teeth.

"Don't take it wrong Suki, I love you too much, but sometimes you can get to be somewhat…bitter. You know what I mean, right? I don't know…your obsession with men…no, I stand corrected; your lack of obsession for men is really alarming. I mean, I know I am irresistible, but Suki, I really do think you know me well enough to know that I don't swing that way…"

"Get out"

"What? Suki, we're in the middle of a boulevard, there are cars everywhere. You have to think in my wellbeing. They could run me over and…"

"Exactly," I contested sweetly. Tomoyo turned to look at me with wide eyes, but they suddenly returned to normal while a silver limo sided up with us.

"Suki!"

"Get out, Tommy," I replied saccharine sweet.

"Ok," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders and opening the door. "It was ok while it lasted, don't you think?"

I managed to react as she got out of the car, dripping Armani and beauty.

The bitch had had a bloody limousine following us during all this time!

"DAIDOUJI!" I roared, completely forgetting all kind of sanity.

Tomoyo lifted her right shoulder and shot me with her 100 watt smile, reserved especially for when she has done something really, really bad.

"Thanks for the ride, friend, you passed the test. You are worthy of my friendship! Now come, get out of that…" Really, the pause didn't make any kind of absolute improvement in my enraged stated. "Car," she finished.

Who did she think she was to be commanding me around as if I was her maid?

If she thought I was going to submit, she was in for a big surprise…!

…Crunching my teeth, I complied with the order.

After all, she was the one behind the paycheck.