Flowers for My Daughter
Mama
They said their farewells outside the temple, in the courtyard. "I will never be able to thank you enough for saving me and my daughter," Mama said as she held her still unconscious child in her arms.
"It was Papa...it was Papa who saved us all," Kagome replied sadly. "But Mama, I don't remember any of this. I remember meeting a little girl with long white hair, long ago, but that's all—I don't remember where, or when, or how. All I remember about tonight is that I woke up in the hospital with my arm in a cast, and you told me that Papa had died in an accident at the temple. Why didn't you ever tell me what happened?"
"Tell you what happened? Just exactly what am I supposed to tell you? I mean, her? I mean, you? I mean...well, I don't really know what I mean," Mama said testily. "Tell the nine-year-old you that a future you came here, along with a half-demon that you had met in the feudal era and the child that you had by him, and that your father had used a magical sword to defeat a demon that had threatened to kill you before you could grow up and go back to the feudal era to meet your future lover and kill its master, five hundred years before you were born?" She laughed darkly. "I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it, I'm quite sure that don't understand it, and I am absolutely certain that couldn't explain it to a nine-year-old."
"I see what you mean," said Kagome, more than a little chagrined. "But the temple...we've destroyed the temple."
"Oh, that old thing." Mama laughed again, but more light-heartedly. "I can't tell you how many times it has burned down over the centuries. It's nothing but trouble. We needed to repair the roof anyway, Grandpa's jars of pickled demon parts are always overheating and starting fires, and your father and I have been fighting for years to keep the equipment in the basement from exploding on its own. Believe me...this was a blessing. Now, at least, we can get the insurance to pay for it." Despite herself, Kagome actually laughed along with her mother.
Izayoi's ears twitched. "Sirens, Mommy. I hear sirens."
Mama kissed each of them hurriedly. "You'd better go before the authorities get here. This mess," she nodded towards the temple, "I'm sure I can explain, but I don't know what they'll say if they see the three of you."
"What about Papa's...what about Papa?" Kagome asked quietly.
"I'll see to what's necessary," Mama replied calmly. "I need to do it myself...to help say goodbye." Cheery again, she said "Now get going. Even I can hear the sirens now, and they'll be here any second."
Kagome kissed her mother quickly, and they headed across the courtyard to the well-house. Kagome kept looking over her shoulder at her mother; and when Mama saw her, she waved merrily back to Kagome, and called to her, "Don't worry about me! Besides, you'll see me again soon..." and she nodded at the unconscious child in her arms, "just as soon as you wake up!"
Inuyasha, Kagome, and Izayoi entered the well-house, and climbed up onto the lip of the well. Kagome looked out the door one last time, and saw her mother, standing alone in the moonlit courtyard. Mama looked with sadness at the ruined temple, but when she looked down at her daughter in her arms, her face warmed with sweet sorrow and joy, and she tenderly kissed the sleeping child's brow.
Kagome grabbed Izayoi with one arm, and Inuyasha with the other, and hugged them both very tightly. "Let's go home," she said with a choked whisper. Inuyasha's strong arms wrapped around her and their daughter, and they stepped into the well.
The three of them held each other tightly as they were buffeted about in the stream of time. The ride was rough, but they were numbed by sadness and loss, and they paid the bumps no notice. Presently, they arrived at their destination: the bottom of the well, inside the temple well-house.
Inuyasha and Izayoi both sniffed the air. "Smells right...sounds right..." Inuyasha said, and Izayoi nodded in agreement. Inuyasha climbed up the ladder cautiously, popped his head out the top of the well, and motioned for the others to join him.
Standing at the door, he looked at Kagome and Izayoi, then said, "Well...here goes." He slid the door open, and they all looked outside. When they had left the past, it had been the middle of the night, but now, it was late afternoon, and the gray flagstones glowed red in the waning sun. Everything looked exactly as it was supposed to: a quiet day, just like any other, at the Higurashi temple. Across the courtyard in front of the family home, Mama was sweeping the front steps, humming contentedly to herself. Her clothes were right, and her hairstyle was right; they were, at last, home.
Kagome, Izayoi, and Inuyasha wearily made their way across the courtyard to the house. Mama saw them approaching, and waved merrily. "Iza-chan! Inu-chan! Kagome-chan! Welcome home!" Mama saw immediately that something was wrong. Normally, Izayoi ran full-tilt across the courtyard to greet her, nearly knocking her over and smothering her with a big hug. But today, Izayoi tottered along at Kagome's side, her eyes downcast. Mama had seen them come home exhausted from their adventures before, but today they looked worse than ever: Inuyasha's and Izayoi's long white hair was sooty and gray, and Inuyasha's kimono was covered with dirt and debris. Kagome's face was wet from her tears, and her kimono was as filthy as Inuyasha's; but across her chest, there was also an ugly stain of dried blood.
"Good heavens, Kagome-chan," Mama asked worriedly, "what happened?"
Kagome began weeping anew. "Mama...we just...we just saw Papa..." and she fell into her mother's arms, crying bitterly. Izayoi began crying too, and she hugged Inuyasha very tightly and buried her face in his kimono. And even Inuyasha, who always did his best to maintain a stern face, was blinking back the tears, and his lower lip was clearly quivering as he tried vainly to comfort his daughter.
Mama quickly bundled the three of them into the house, made them take off their stained clothing, and saw that everyone had a good scrub and a good soak (and, in Kagome and Izayoi's case, they also had a good cry as they sat together in the tub), and she wrapped them all in warm, soft robes.
Once they were washed clean of the dirt and sorrow of the previous day, Mama sat them down at the dinner table, and rather than hot tea, she brought out hot sake. Even Inuyasha, who loathed the taste of alcohol, asked for a cup. ("Man, I hate this stuff," he muttered as he pounded back a shot, then reached for the bottle and poured himself another.) Inuyasha and Kagome sat together on one side of the table, and Mama, cradling the sleeping Izayoi in her arms, sat on the other.
"I was wondering when it would happen," Mama said musingly. "Oh, of course, it already happened, but...oh, you know what I mean. I've never been able to really understand this. But once Izayoi turned nine, I knew it would be soon--that was her age when...well, when we first met."
"But Mama, why didn't you ever tell me? After all these years?" Kagome asked.
"Sometimes, it's best to let things happen as they were meant to happen," Mama said thoughtfully, sipping at her sake. "Your father and I were meant to happen, and that meant that you and Souta were meant to happen. The same way, you and Inuyasha were meant to happen, and Iza-chan was meant to happen; and, sadly, your poor father's death was also meant to happen. I didn't want to do anything that might put any of that at risk."
"But besides," Mama laughed, "it was because of that night that I let you go back to the feudal era in the first place. I mean, what kind of mother would I be, letting my fifteen-year-old daughter all but quit school and disappear for weeks at a time? Most girls that age only talk about music and clothes, but all you ever asked for was first-aid supplies—how do you think that makes a mother feel?" Both Kagome and Mama started giggling, and even Inuyasha left his reverie long enough to laugh with them. "The only boy you ever brought home seemed nice enough, but he had no manners at all, and clearly had no upbringing. Whenever he stayed the night, he always stayed with you, in your room, just the two of you, and I never asked once what you were doing in there." Mama looked half jokingly, half reprovingly at Kagome. "And whenever you didn't come home with him, you would come home in tears, wondering whether he loved you as much as you loved him, because he was involved with another woman who, if I get it right, was...dead?" Kagome and Inuyasha were both blushing fiercely at Mama's description of their rocky past, but even they had to laugh at that. "But I never worried for a second about either of you, no matter what life threw at you...because I had seen you fight for me, for each other, and for her." She looked lovingly down at Izayoi in her arms, and stroked her soft white hair. "And I knew that no matter what happened, you would live long enough to see that moment...that horrible, beautiful moment."
Again, a silence fell between them. Kagome refilled everyone's cup, and they all sipped their sake pensively, lost in their memories. Kagome was first to break the silence. "Er, Inuyasha," she began, "How was Papa able to hurt that thing, when none of us could?" The kaze no kizu, my arrows, nothing could touch it...and yet Papa could."
"That old weapon...it really was a demon slayer. It wasn't like those toys your Grandpa plays with...it had real power." said Inuyasha without looking up, absentmindedly fiddling with his cup. "Plus, it never saw him coming. He was just a human—he was something that a youkai like that wouldn't even notice. It never expected him to attack like that, so it wasn't paying attention...and that gave us the break we needed." He stared at his cup for a moment. "Your dad and mine...they both..." his voice trailed off, and he grabbed his cup and drained it.
"But your sword, Inuyasha," Kagome asked. "How could he use your sword?"
Inuyasha set down his cup, and looked Kagome squarely in the eye. "Tessaiga and I are one," he said simply; then, unwilling to say more, he crossed his arms and stared absently at the table.
"Don't be sad, Inuyasha," Mama said gently. "Without you, my daughter, my husband, and I, all three of us would have been killed by that...that thing. You and your sword saved us all—in more ways than you know. Come take your daughter for a moment, and I'll show you." Inuyasha gently took his sleeping daughter from Mama. Izayoi stirred slightly, then drew a fold of Inuyasha's robe to her cheek and settled back to sleep.
Mama walked over to the family's shrine, and removed a small wooden box from a drawer. She returned to the table, opened the lid, and poured the contents out: a glitter of sparkling crystals, tinkling musically.
"Kongouseki!" Kagome said in an amazed whisper.
"So that's what they're called. I always wondered," said Mama. "The insurance paid for the temple, of course, but your father's company plan didn't go very far, and I was starting to get worried. I had two growing children and your grandfather to care for, and I wasn't going to make it much longer without some help. Then, it dawned on me." She picked up a crystal and regarded it thoughtfully. "I had collected all of these after...well, afterwards. It took quite a while—I can't begin to tell you how many of these there were, scattered all over the temple. I was finally able to sell some of these to a collector. It took some doing, but he paid a very good price—far more than he had originally intended." She chuckled, remembering her skills at negotiation. "Because of that, we were able to live comfortably, and all my children's needs were met. And, if you watch your spending wisely, neither you nor Souta will ever need to worry about money, either." Mama nodded at little Izayoi. "There's even something for her, if she wants it—and by the time she's old enough, it should be quite a tidy sum."
Mama laughed again. "How do you think we paid for the guest room that we built for you two, so that Iza-chan could have Kagome's old room to herself? And how do you think we were always able to repair the holes that would get blown in something" (here she looked pointedly at Inuyasha) "or the Inu-chan-shaped holes that would get dug into the flagstones?" She looked meaningfully at Kagome, who giggled nervously.
Mama gathered the kongouseki and replaced them in their box, and returned the box to its place in the shrine. "But your sword protects us in more ways than that, Inu-chan," Mama continued. "I couldn't bear to sell all those lovely little diamonds. I buried most of them around the perimeter of the temple grounds. Some of the larger ones I buried under the temple, and others are in various places around the grounds. The largest ones are under the floor of each of our bedrooms."
Mama looked at each of them in turn, as she said gravely but warmly, "And since the day I placed the last stone...the fortunes of the Higurashi temple changed. Grandpa's silly little charms didn't change, of course...they're still not worth the paper they're printed on...but the very air of this place became different, more peaceful...more blessed. Nothing dark or evil dares cross the boundary that your kongouseki have created. Even our night's rest is more renewing, more refreshing, than it was before."
"And so, Inuyasha...Kagome," Mama said, with her hands on theirs, "even though I miss your father terribly, and I know you do too, I want you to know that he was very, very proud of you...and that despite the tragedy that happened on that horrible night, it brought great blessings to this family, to me, and to you."
Mama turned away, brushing a tear from her eyes, but in a moment she was her old chipper self again. "So, I think it's time for the little one to go to bed, and from the day I know you two have had, I think it's time for you to do the same. But right now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend a few minutes at the Goshinboku... talking with your father."
"I'm coming too," said Kagome, pushing her chair back and rising. "Inuyasha, why don't you put Iza-chan to bed? I'll be back in a few minutes." And so saying, she and her mother grabbed their coats and headed outside.
Inuyasha carried Izayoi up the stairs to her room—Kagome's old room—and laid his daughter gently on the bed, and tucked her under the warm covers. He looked out the window onto the temple grounds, and saw Kagome and Mama, their arms around each other, looking at the Goshinboku. Kagome's mother had told him years ago that she had buried Papa's ashes at the foot of the tree, and although he had never felt anything there himself, both Mama and Kagome said they could feel Papa's presence when they stood in the shadow of the great tree.
He was lost in thought when he heard Izayoi's sweet little voice. "Daddy?"
He looked down to find her wide awake, her dark eyes looking deeply into his. He sat on the bed, and patted her lovingly. "Yeah?"
"Daddy, was that really my Grandpa who died last night?"
"Yeah...yeah, it was."
"Oh. I thought so." Izayoi fell silent for a moment, then continued. "Is Mommy sad that her daddy died?"
"Yeah, she is...but she has you, and that makes her feel better."
"Did your daddy die just like Grandpa died?"
Inuyasha replied grimly, "Yeah...yeah, he did. A very long time ago."
"Daddy, are you going to die like that too?"
Inuyasha was taken aback, but not for long. He held up his fist triumphantly and said proudly, "Naah. I'm too tough for that. I've faced a lot worse than that loser," and he clenched his fist hard enough to make his knuckles crack, "And the end was always the same!"
"That's good, Daddy." Izayoi thought for a moment, then asked, "Is little Kagome sad too?"
"Yeah, I'm sure she is."
"When will I see her again?"
Inuyasha's eyebrow twitched nervously. "Well...I don't know. That's kind of... complicated."
"If little Kagome's daddy was the same as Mommy's daddy, does that mean they're sisters?"
Inuyasha felt his heart skip a beat, and his eyebrow twitched uncontrollably. "Well...why don't you ask your mother about that?"
"O-kay. Good night, Daddy," she said, and shut her eyes and curled up in the comforter.
Inuyasha sat with her for a few minutes, stroking her hair, until Kagome came back into the house and joined him in the bedroom.
"How's she doing?" whispered Kagome.
"Just fine. She asked whether little Kagome's daddy was the same as your daddy, and whether you were sisters. I told her to ask you."
"Honestly, Inuyasha," Kagome sighed dejectedly, "How you can face down Naraku but can't answer your own daughter's questions, I will never understand. 'If I have Daddy's hair and ears, why don't I have the other things he has?'" she imitated Izayoi's innocent little voice. "'He says girls don't need them—so what does he need them for?'" She sighed again. "Now I have to explain to her how she's the little white-haired girl who taught me how to press flowers in books, and how I taught myself how to make omelets, and...well, at least I don't have to do it right now. Maybe by tomorrow morning I'll come up with something..." She scratched Inuyasha fondly behind the ears. "I always do." Inuyasha rose, and silently he and Kagome left Izayoi's room, shutting off the light and going downstairs to their own room.
When Izayoi heard the door to her parents' room shut, she threw off the comforter, walked to the window, and pressed her forehead and palms to the glass.
"I'm sorry you died, Grandpa," she whispered to the Goshinboku, "but I'm glad I met you."
Through the window, Izayoi saw the banners and trees that ringed the courtyard standing motionless in the still night air; but the leaves of the Goshinboku began to rustle, as though in a gentle breeze. And though it was autumn, and the air outside was cold and brisk, Izayoi felt a warm, sweet wind wafting through her room, rustling her hair and caressing her cheeks. A warm golden light suffused the room, and she felt herself lifted by strong, gentle hands, which bore her to her bed and set her tenderly upon it. She felt as though she were floating in a sea of light and love, and as she drifted into sleep, she thought she caught the faraway scent of springtime blossoms.
In the morning, Kagome arrived as usual in Izayoi's room to wake her and get her ready for school. Izayoi was not a "morning person," and the morning ritual was usually more difficult than either mother or daughter liked. But this morning, Izayoi awoke with bright eyes and a warm smile.
"Well, Iza-chan, you're energetic today!" Kagome said cherrily as she sat beside her daughter on the bed. "To what do we owe this change of heart?"
Izayoi smiled. "Grandpa loves me," she said, her face bright with joy, "and he loves you too." She suddenly embraced her mother, and kissed her cheek. "And so do I." Izayoi jumped out of bed and skipped down the hall to the bathroom.
"Well," Kagome thought, "I don't know what brought that on, but I'm glad that something did." She began making the bed, but as she adjusted the covers, she thought heard the sound of something other than cloth against cloth, and she caught a strangely familiar scent.
Intrigued, she pulled back the bedclothes, and found that Izayoi had been sleeping on a bed of flowers. She looked at them, puzzled, then gasped as she recognized what they were. Each petal was rare, and precious, and perfect, and once you had seen them, you could never forget them, or the tree from whence they came.
They were the flowers of the Goshinboku; and each one bore the scent that Kagome had known from the earliest days of her childhood: the sweet and gentle scent of her father.