Chapter 6
Only Odessa and the plot are mine!
Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Responses are at the end!
Padmé's tears abruptly stopped as Odessa's words sunk in. She let out a little "oh" of sympathy and wrapped her arms around her friend. While she was deeply grateful for Padmé's support, it did little to help the raw pain coursing through her body. She felt numb, too numb to speak or even cry. Admitting her feelings to her friend had made the situation real to her, and now she felt as if she had lost her husband all over again. They sat in silence for a while, and finally Padmé pulled away and looked at her friend.
"Are you going to tell him?" Padmé asked. Odessa sighed, and looked at her friend.
"No. At least, not any time soon. I…I think it would complicate things too much. I don't want him to put his position in danger for me…right now, he's able to put me aside because he thinks that his feelings aren't reciprocated. But if he finds out they are, he might do whatever he can to be with me – he's already said that he wants to speak with the council about my position, and I know that won't go over well if I can't talk him out of it. I can't even imagine what he might do if he knows how I feel about him. I won't let him endanger his position as a Jedi," Odessa said, her voice growing a bit stronger as she spoke. She rose from the couch and looked out the window.
"'Dessa, it could work out. I mean, Anakin and I have a wonderful relationship, and it hasn't ruined his position as a Jedi. He's still one of the best there is, and I'm sure it would be no different with Obi-Wan." Padmé walked into the kitchen, watching her friend. Odessa did not turn around. Instead, she thought over what Obi-Wan had said about his apprentice. Headstrong, eager. Vengeful, from what Padmé had told her. None were traits of a good Jedi at all, and a good Jedi wouldn't simply forget about his master when they were done with battle, nor would he neglect his Jedi duties and exercises. While she sensed no evil in Anakin, she couldn't help but wonder if he would really rise to his full potential with Padmé in his life. She turned to her friend.
"I wouldn't want to hold him back. He's worked so hard to accomplish everything he's done with his life, and regardless of whether or not he'd do it, I don't want there to be a possibility that he'd give it all up for me." She entered the kitchen and helped Padmé prepare dinner.
"When did you realize how you felt?" Padmé asked as she cooked.
"It just sort of…happened. He's been very good to me, very attentive and supportive. He genuinely cares about my well-being, and wants me to be happy. It's hard not to fall in love with someone like that," Odessa said. "We have a lot in common, and it just seems that he…well, he completes me, in a way that neither Han nor my Husband could. That's not to say that they both don't have their place. Han is my son, and he's all I could ever ask for in a child. My husband shared my passion for flying and battles, but there was still a part of me that he could never have – the Jedi in me. Obi-Wan shares my passion for strategy, and he also challenges me to be the best Jedi I can be, given the circumstances. There are very few traits that we don't share." As Odessa listed off the reasons she had for caring about Obi-Wan, she felt another surge of pain at his absence.
"Well, perhaps if you reveal your feelings, he'll do whatever he can to get you back into the Jedi order, and then you can do what you love," Padmé suggested.
"That's exactly what he'd do – he's threatening to do that as it is. I don't want that. It would endanger his position and besides, if I do become a Jedi, then what? What about Han? I wouldn't just abandon him. I could never do that. My responsibility to him is the most important thing in my life."
"Well, of course. But what if Han is training to be a Jedi? Surely the council wouldn't deny him because of your situation, would they? He is your son after all, so he could be a Jedi."
"I don't think he is. He has too much of his father in him, and I would know if he could use the force. I would sense it. Regardless, I couldn't use his education as a reason to shirk my responsibilities. Even if I could turn him over to someone and wash my hands of him, I wouldn't want to. I love him too much." Padmé sighed.
"Well, I still think you should tell him. That way, whatever happens you can decide together, instead of worrying what he might do if he knows, because knowing Obi-Wan, he probably knows already," she said.
"That's what I'm afraid of," Odessa replied. "But tell me, how was your month with Anakin?" she asked as they say down to eat.
"Don't think you can weasel your way out of this conversation. You're going to have to tell him eventually, whether you want to or not. But my month with Anakin was absolutely heavenly…" Padmé started on a long and detailed story on her fabulous month with Anakin that lasted through the meal and an hour past. Odessa listened as attentively as possible, but she couldn't keep her thoughts from wandering to Obi-Wan, and hoping he was alright. But one thing Padmé said snapped her back to their conversation.
"…and I was thinking, maybe next time he returns, we'll try starting a family," Padmé said happily. Odessa looked at her, eyes wide, but kept her expression blank as she spoke.
"Padmé, do you think that's wise? I mean, I understand the desire to have a family, but it's very difficult without the father there. Of course I would help you if you needed the help, but I'm sure that your first choice would be to have Anakin here, and he'll be off on Jedi business most of the time. What does Anakin think of that?" Odessa asked.
"Well, I haven't really discussed it with him yet. I'm sure he'll want to be a father, and we'll discuss it before we start trying. But, I think it'll be a good way for me to pass the time waiting for him to return – preparing for a baby and then caring for a baby would probably make the times he's gone go much faster," Padmé replied. Odessa gave her friend a weak smile.
"Well, I need to get going. I'll see you at my place tomorrow?" Odessa asked, rising. Padmé walked her to the door.
"Of course. And then we'll talk about your time with Obi-Wan. You know, you really should tell him how you feel. I'm sure it's not doing anything good for his ego to not know that the woman he loves is in love with him, too. We'll discuss it more tomorrow," Padmé said hurriedly before Odessa could interrupt. Smiling at Odessa's obvious discomfort with the subject, she hugged her friend and Han, then ushered them out.
Odessa returned to her apartment with a lot on her mind. Obi-Wan had told her how preoccupied Anakin already seemed, and to add a child to the situation would only make things worse. And what if something happened to Padmé or the baby? It could be terrible, knowing Anakin's history with his loved ones.
Moments after she returned, she heard the sound of her communicator beeping in the living room. Rushing in, she saw that it was Obi-Wan, as she expected. She sat down in front of it, and when Obi-Wan saw her, he smiled brightly.
"I was worried that I had missed you," he said to her.
"No, I actually just got in. How was your trip?" she asked.
"It went well enough. Unfortunately, no one here really knows anything about Count Dooku's whereabouts, so I think we're going to be chasing our tails here. But maybe I'm wrong, and we'll finally find him. That would be a great relief for the senate and the council."
"Well, I'm glad to hear you arrived safely. Hopefully your mission will be successful," she said to him.
"Right now, I'm just glad to hear your voice. I know it's been less than a day since I saw you, but I can't help missing our time together," he said to her. His eyes were full of emotion, but everything else about him was casual.
"Hush! You don't want to get caught by Anakin saying things like that to someone!" she said to him, but then softened. "I…I miss you already, too," she said in barely a whisper, looking away.
"Well, with any luck, I'll be back soon. Continue with your exercises, so we can pick up where we left off," he said to her, using his best Jedi Master voice. She smiled.
"Yes sir. And don't go getting yourself killed or anything, because I would be very upset with you," she told him. He returned the smile.
"I need to get going, but I'll contact you as soon as I can," he said. "Take care of yourself, and may the force be with you."
"And you, Obi-Wan," she said as his imaged faded away. She put Han to bed, then changed into her Jedi uniform. She went through the strenuous exercises Obi-Wan had taught her the night before, and was surprised to find that they did work her body nearly as much as sparring did. She slipped into a peaceful sleep shortly after.
It was comforting to have things back to normal, and while Odessa did miss Obi-Wan's presence constantly, she couldn't help but enjoy the time she had for her work and her meetings with the younglings, without the anticipation of meeting with the Jedi Master. She once again found the joy in analyzing the battles by herself, coming to her own conclusions without Obi-Wan's influence. He contacted her every day, and they would discuss as much as they could in the time they had, but since his schedule was so sporadic, she never had more than half an hour to speak with him. Yet she never was able to tell him how she felt about him, despite Padmé's almost constant nagging for her to do so. Mostly they spoke about his mission and their progress. Obi-Wan was becoming more and more frustrated as time went by, and three months into their mission, he was practically at his wits' end.
"We're making blind stabs in the dark here! If we're lucky, we'll stumble across a droid army or two, but none of the droids seem to know where their master is. It's madness out here, and I've contacted the council to inform them of the status of this mission. Frankly, they don't seem all that concerned. They haven't any better idea where he is than we do, so I guess they think we'll eventually find him by some stroke of luck. Of course, Anakin's enjoying destroying all the droids we come across, but frankly I'd prefer to have my feet on solid ground, preferably on Coruscant," he told her one evening, exasperated. She saw the frustration written in the creases in his face.
"Well, hopefully something will happen soon. Surely the senate can't approve of two of their finest Jedi and numerous clones just being thrust into space to find one person, and no leads to follow," Odessa said soothingly.
"Supposedly the senate will be having an emergency meeting to discuss the situation, but I'm not holding my breath. Politicians aren't to be trusted, especially with the matters of the Jedi," he said to her. She smiled.
"Well, you've never had a high opinion of Politicians. I'll see what I can find out for you, and I'll let you know. Perhaps Padmé will know some of what's going on," she said.
"Perhaps, but don't get the dear senator in trouble. I know she has a lot on her plate, and I wouldn't want to burden her with the misfortune of two miserable Jedi," he replied.
"Oh, I think she'd be more than happy to find out what's going on if I asked her. She's always thought very highly of the Jedi, and I know she cares for you and Anakin, so I can't imagine she'd take well to the thought that you were being forced into a useless mission."
"Yes, I sometimes wonder if she cares about Anakin's condition a bit too much. Anyway, I have to get going, we're off to another slip of a lead that probably won't be anything at all. I'm sorry to have dumped all my problems on you," he said to her with an apologetic smile.
"Oh, don't worry about it. That's what I'm here for. I'll speak with Padmé, and see if anything useful is going on with the senate. The force be with you, Obi-Wan," she said.
"And you, Odessa," he said. The image faded away, and Odessa immediately contacted Padmé. She had just returned from dinner over at Odessa's apartment.
"Padmé, are you there?" she asked the empty view of Padmé's living room.
"Yes, yes, I'm here, give me a moment," she heard Padmé call from somewhere in the apartment. A moment later, her face appeared.
"'Dessa, is everything alright? I just got home," she said.
"Yes, everything's fine. I just got through talking with Obi-Wan, and he was wondering if Chancellor Palpatine had called any emergency meetings of the senate lately," Odessa told her.
"Actually, yes. He's called one for later this week, concerning Count Dooku. Why? Are Obi-Wan and Anakin in danger?" she replied, worried.
"No, quite the opposite. They're out there searching for him, but they haven't a clue where he might be. Obi-Wan is getting frustrated, and is hoping to be able to return to Coruscant soon, and perhaps continue with the mission once they have a better idea of where he is," Odessa said.
"Well, we're meeting the day after tomorrow – would you like to meet me for lunch after the meeting, and I'll let you know what they've decided?" Padmé asked.
"That
sounds wonderful."
"Alright, meet me outside the Senate
around noon – typically the Chancellor won't go past then. We'll
grab a bite to eat, and I'll tell you what the decision was,"
Padmé said. Odessa nodded, and Padmé faded away. She
spent the evening playing with Han, then going through her exercises.
The next morning she made her way to the temple as early as possible, and found that Merina had finally stopped spying on her to ensure that she was getting her work done. Relieved, she brought up as much information on Count Dooku as she could find and browsed through it, hoping to pick up any information that the council may have missed. Unfortunately, it appeared that they had been just as thorough as she was, and she came to the same conclusion on where he would be. Frustrated, she went back to her work, wondering where the elusive Count could be. That evening, she told Obi-Wan of her impending meeting with Padmé after the senate meeting.
"Well, I hope they'll have come to some sort of conclusion. It's getting downright boring out here, but we can't return home without the senate and the council's approval. Morale is low since no one knows what's going on, and we haven't had even a hint of luck in finding him. Not to mention I can think of much better ways to spend my time on Coruscant instead of out here," Obi-Wan told her.
"Such as what?" she asked, a bit coyly. He eyed her for a moment before answering.
"Well, such as spending time with you," he said earnestly. "I've missed you so much, Odessa. Forgive me if I make you a bit uncomfortable, but I truly believe that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I never thought I could connect with someone as well as I do with you. Surely you feel it too?" His eyes searched hers, and she looked away as her face turned a bright red, and she was momentarily speechless. Finally she looked back at him. His eyes were so full of emotion that it was a bit difficult to tell exactly which feeling dominated.
"Obi-Wan, I…" she started, but he cut her off with a wave of his hand.
"I'm sorry, Odessa. It isn't proper, nor is it my place to ask you such a thing. I hope you can forgive me. I have to get going now – thank you for speaking to Padmé for me, and I look forward speaking with you tomorrow. Take care," he said quickly.
"Obi-Wan, I…I mean, take care of yourself," she said to him. For a brief moment she saw a crestfallen look on his face, but it was gone a moment later. He smiled weakly at her through the blank, emotionless mask he wore, and faded away.
Odessa could feel the tears threatening to fall as she stared at the emptiness where Obi-Wan's face had been. Why hadn't she told him? He wanted to know; he was practically begging her to tell him, but she couldn't get the words out. She loved him, yet because of her inability to express it, she could have lost him forever. She went to bed, but got very little sleep.
The next morning Odessa woke, the pain from the events of the night before still stabbing into her gut. She reluctantly got out of bed and made her way to the shower, hoping to drown the memories of her last conversation with Obi-Wan. She wasn't successful, and she went to the temple feeling more miserable than she had in a while. Finally it was time for her to meet with Padmé, and she dragged herself to the Senate meeting hall. She stood among the massive columns, watching the senators leave. Chancellor Palpatine walked past her, and smiled serenely as their eyes met. Yet inside she felt a cold stab of darkness that pushed all other thoughts from her mind. A dark presence surrounded the Chancellor, and Odessa continued to watch his retreating back for a few moments. Confused, she turned back to the exiting senators, and saw Padmé speaking with Bail Organa. Once she caught her eye, Padmé waved and excused herself.
"'Dessa, you look positively dreadful!" she exclaimed, looking at Odessa's distraught expression. Odessa waved her off, casting her an 'I'll-tell-you-later' look. They made their way to a café near the Senate and sat in a booth near the back. After ordering, Padmé turned to her friend, concerned.
"'Dessa, what's wrong? I don't think I've ever seen you so upset," she said.
"First, tell me what went on in the Senate, and then I'll tell you everything," Odessa responded.
"Alright. Chancellor Palpatine is concerned about Anakin and Obi-Wan, but he wants to see if they can find Dooku where they are for a few more months. If they're unsuccessful, he'll bring them back and he said that he personally would help search for Dooku." Padmé told her.
"But nothing now? Well, I suppose Obi-Wan didn't expect anything now…but one more of his hopes will be dashed," Odessa said, looking down.
"One more?" Padmé asked, confused. Their food arrived, and Odessa picked at it.
"Yes. Last night…he, well, he basically asked him how I feel about him. I…I couldn't get it out. I feel terrible now, knowing that he thinks I don't care for him as much as he does me," Odessa said in almost a whisper.
"Oh, 'Dessa," Padmé said sympathetically. "You need to let him know. You don't want to lose what you have with him, but if you think that he feels rejected by you, he'll start pulling away. You can't keep it from him anymore."
"I…I know. I wanted to tell him, believe me. I just couldn't get the words out. He was so…so upset that I couldn't tell him, but he shook it off as if it were nothing. But I know it's not…it's certainly not to me." Odessa lowered her head to her hands.
"Tell him tonight. You have to, 'Dessa. There's no way around it anymore. I know you don't want to lose him." Padmé placed a hand on Odessa's arm.
"I'll try, don't think I won't. But, what if he expects more of me than I can give?"
"He won't. I know Obi-Wan, and he won't ask anything more of you. He already has your love, I don't think he'll want anything more," Padmé said soothingly. They finished their meal making small talk, and Padmé walked her back to the temple.
"Don't worry, everything will turn out for the best," Padmé said to her friend, hugging her.
"That's what my husband said to me, right before he died. So forgive me if I don't believe you," Odessa said, smiling sadly. Padmé gave her an encouraging smile and left. She returned to her work, using the time archiving battles to figure out how she would tell Obi-Wan how she felt. The day went by entirely too fast, and as the clock announced the end of the day, she felt her stomach churning uncomfortably as she left. She picked up Han and met Padmé for dinner, but couldn't eat anything. Han was babbling on senselessly to Padmé, who was overjoyed to see the young boy beginning to speak. Finally she turned to Odessa with a supportive smile.
"Have you figured out how you're going to tell him yet?" she asked.
"Not really…I have an idea, but I just hope that I can get it out," Odessa said.
"I'm sure everything will be fine. Now, go on and tell that man how much you love him," Padmé said teasingly. Odessa shot her an apprehensive look, and Padmé hugged her.
"Obi-Wan won't do anything drastic, no matter what you say to him. He cares about you, so regardless of what you say to him, he won't intentionally do anything to hurt you. Trust me, everything will be alright."
Odessa made her way back to her apartment as quickly as possible, worried that she might miss his call. Putting Han to bed, she paced the living room until she heard the familiar beeping. Rushing over to the couch, she hastily pressed the button. Obi-Wan's face appeared, smiling as he always did every time he saw her.
"Well hello there," he said to her cheerily. If he was concerned with their conversation the day before, he didn't show it.
"Good Evening Obi-Wan. How was your day today?"
"Similar to most that we've had lately – uneventful. But it's better now – what news do you have from the senate?" he asked.
"From what Padmé could tell me, they'll be keeping you out there for a few months, hoping that you'll stumble across Dooku. If there's been no progress, they'll bring you back here, and supposedly Palpatine will personally aid the council in finding him," Odessa said, rushed. She was grateful that they hadn't started talking about their past conversation. Obi-Wan pondered what she has said to him for a moment, then spoke up.
"The council won't be terribly happy about that. They don't want the Senate meddling in their affairs." His expression was grim.
"True, but wouldn't the extra help only be good?" She looked at him questioningly.
"It depends. If the Chancellor truly wants to help us, then of course it would be good. But if he doesn't, then that could mean many more months of searching in the entirely wrong part of the galaxy."
"Why wouldn't he truly want to help us? He's in as much danger from the separatists as anyone else, after all."
"Odessa, don't be naïve. Once Dooku is taken into custody and we have control of the droid army, there will be no need for Palpatine to have as much power as he has now. I'm sure he's quite happy with his permanent place at the head of the Senate, and he won't want to give that up." Odessa thought over Obi-Wan's statement for a moment.
"Well, now that you mention it, I did notice something odd about him today. It was as if he were surrounded by some sort of dark presence. Do you think that has anything to do with the rumor that a Sith Lord is in control of the senate?" she asked.
"A dark presence around Palpatine? It very well might. I'll look into it when I return, whenever that will be. What was he doing when you noticed it?"
"Leaving the senate. And, well, he was smiling at me," she said, remembering his eerie expression as he passed her. Obi-Wan stroked his beard as he thought about it.
"Well, that certainly is curious. I'll mention it to the council after I've done some investigating myself," he said. There was silence for a few moment, and Odessa swallowed. She knew that if she was ever going to tell him, it would have to be now.
"Obi-Wan, I…I wanted to talk to you about the conversation we had yesterday," she started shakily. His eyes snapped to hers, and she noticed a slight coloring fill his face.
"Odessa, it isn't necessary. You don't have to-"
"Yes I do. Perhaps it's been something I've been avoiding for some time, due to my conflicting feelings with Han and my husband. But my husband is gone, and Han, while I love him with all my heart, can't fill all of my needs. It's taken me quite some time to come to terms with everything. Obi-Wan, I…I would be lying to you if…if I said that I didn't care for you," She said, barely listening to what she was saying. By the end, she could tell that her face was beet red, and she couldn't meet his eyes. There was silence for a moment, and Odessa feared that she had been reading Obi-Wan wrong, and that he didn't love her at all.
"Odessa, look at me." His voice sounded husky, and when she looked up, she saw the raw emotion in his eyes.
"I know that I could never be a replacement for your husband. That's not what I want to be. Honestly, I shouldn't want any of the things I do, and it's been tearing me apart ever since I realized how I felt. A Jedi shouldn't form the type of attachment I feel for you, but ever since I met you, I couldn't help but feel that the rules were wrong. I saw how strong you were, how dedicated you were to your training, despite your love for your husband, and knew that the kind of love you felt for him couldn't be wrong for a Jedi. If anything, I think it made you stronger. Being with you has made me stronger, that much I know. There's just too much going now, for both of us I think, and too much at stake, that progressing whatever it is we have further may not be the wisest thing to do. But I think, perhaps sometimes after the war is over, maybe we could start something then." His voice was choppy, as if for the first time he were unsure of himself. Odessa looked at him, smiling.
"Yes, after the war, perhaps we can have something more," she said. He grinned broadly at her. They continued talking for a few minutes more about the battles Obi-Wan and Anakin had engaged in, and then they said goodnight. Odessa made her way to bed feeling as though her feet weren't touching the ground. She slept better than she had in all her time living on Coruscant that night.
The next evening she sat with Padmé in her apartment, barely able to contain her happiness. Yet she kept her expression blank, enjoying Padmé's frustration as she waited for her friend to tell her the news. Finally Padmé's patience ran out.
"Alright, tell me what happened already! It can't be bad, because I know you would have told me if it had been!" she exclaimed. Odessa laughed.
"Yes, I told him. We both decided that it's better not to act on our feelings now though, while the war is still going on. After the war is over, we'll pursue a relationship."
Padmé squealed and jumped up to hug her friend.
"See? I told you everything would work out just fine. And you were so worried that things would go horribly wrong, you silly girl!" Padmé continued babbling on about how wonderful it was and how happy she was for Odessa and Obi-Wan while Odessa just listened. She was happier than she had been in a while, yet was anxious about Obi-Wan's impending call.
"Do you think things will be different between us now?" Odessa asked, feeling extremely unsure of herself.
"Yes and no. The things you love doing together will still be there, but that underlying knowledge that you're doing something with the person you love, so it'll make the experience that much better," Padmé told her.
"I hope you're right," Odessa said apprehensively. Padmé hugged her goodbye shortly before Obi-Wan typically called, and once again Odessa was anxiously awaiting his call. She tucked Han into bed and sat at the couch, counting the minutes until his call. At precisely the same time as every evening, the communicator beeped.
"Hello!" she said to him, a bit more excited than usual. He grinned at the sight of her.
"Good Evening, Odessa," he said to her. They started talking a bit shyly to one another, but soon they were back in the swing of things once Odessa brought up some of the battles she had been analyzing. They spent longer talking to each other than they had in all of the time he had been gone, and it was clear that neither wanted the conversation to end. But end it did, and Odessa went to bed still walking on air.
Three more months passed, and Obi-Wan and Anakin were not successful in finding Count Dooku. Odessa could tell that his frustration with the mission was bringing his temper to almost its breaking point, but she was able to soothe his nerves when they spoke. But one evening Obi-Wan greeted her with such enthusiasm that she knew something was up.
"Odessa! We're coming home!" he told her excitedly. She gasped and brought a hand to her mouth, happiness coursing through her body.
"Obi-Wan, that's wonderful! I mean, it's not good that they kept you out there so long, but it'll be wonderful to have you home again," she said, smiling.
"It'll be wonderful to see you again," he said seriously, studying her face.
"When will you be back? I'll prepare a nice dinner for the two of us, and then we can resume our training," she said excitedly.
"Tomorrow. We'll be in meetings all day, but I'll try to stop by the library at lunchtime to see you. I should be free in the evening."
"Do you think any of your meetings will be with Chancellor Palpatine?" Odessa asked.
"It's possible. If we do meet with him, I'll keep my eyes and ears open for any sign of the darkness you described. But if he is in fact the Sith Lord we've been searching for, he'll probably have trained himself to hide it from the Jedi – you were just lucky to notice it because he didn't think you were a threat. I will also mention it to the council – the more people we have that know about it, the better the chances are that we can figure out what's going on," he said.
They spent the rest of their available time talking about what had been going on with Anakin and Obi-Wan, and it appeared that their call back to Coruscant was long overdue. The morale of the troops had been at an all-time low, and even Anakin had grown weary of the constant plunges into space, only to return with less of a clue than before. No one had any clue of what was going on, and it was practically chaos up there. Odessa couldn't be more thankful that they were returning home, simply for their own safety.
She called Padmé as soon as her conversation with Obi-Wan was over, and wasn't surprised to find that her friend already knew of Anakin and Obi-Wan's homecoming. Padmé was just as excited as Odessa felt, and they spent most of the night talking about what they were going to do once the Jedi returned.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't!" Padmé teased as they said goodnight.
"That's very much what I'm afraid of," Odessa said, smiling. She went through her exercises then made her way to bed, but found that she had a very hard time falling asleep.
The next morning she woke extremely early and was unable to fall back asleep due to the butterflies in her stomach. Reluctantly she pulled herself out of bed and spent the extra time meditating, hoping to calm her nerves. She was somewhat successful, but she couldn't completely shake the anxiety she felt at Obi-Wan's return. She was ecstatic that he was returning home, but a little unsure of what he would want from her. She showered and dressed, fidgeting with her robes to try and make them look their best. She woke Han and fed him, unable to eat herself. Finally it was late enough that she could go to work, so she dropped Han off at daycare and made her way to the library inside the silent halls of the temple.
It was hard for her to concentrate on her work. She couldn't stop thinking about what she would say to him when she first saw him, or how she would react. They couldn't reveal their feelings at the temple – there was far too much at stake to do something like that. But would he smile differently now, or study her face with a different sort of look, now that he knew how she felt? The hours dragged by, and as much as she tried to avoid looking at the clock, she couldn't help get frustrated every time she glanced up to see only five minutes had passed. She knew that once Merina realized that Obi-Wan was returning, she would be constantly watched by the librarian to ensure that her work was getting done. She took a few deep breaths and forced herself to push all thoughts of Obi-Wan from her mind as she worked.
Once she had forced herself into the Jedi mindset, her work went by much faster. Soon the battle-strategy part of her brain had taken over, and she was analyzing each battle with a fiercely critical eye, completely immersed in her work. But as soon as she felt Obi-Wan's familiar presence, everything else stopped. She looked up, and saw him standing at the entrance, talking with one of the younglings. She resisted the urge to run up to him, but it was extremely difficult. Reluctantly turning back to her work, she kept her thoughts on Obi-Wan, and could feel when he approached her desk. She didn't look up as he placed his hands on the cool white marble in front of her, and waited for him to speak before putting her work aside.
"Busy as usual, I see," he said to her, smiling.
"The workings of the Jedi temple do not simply stop because two members have returned from battle," she said in a tone that would have made Merina proud. But as she looked at Obi-Wan, she couldn't hide the happiness she felt at seeing him.
"Nor would I expect them to. However, I wouldn't like to see employees of this fine establishment overworked, so I will expect to see you at the entrance near lunchtime, so I may tell you all about my fantastic travels across the universe. If you're open it, Ms. Sinthea?" His eyes glittered with amusement and joy as she smiled at him.
"Of course, Master Kenobi. Now, as much as I'd love to spend all morning chatting with you, I really must get this work done. I'll see you at noon?" She tried to make her reply sound sarcastic, but the excitement in her eyes gave her a way. Obi-Wan chuckled softly as he looked at her.
"Noon it is, Ms. Sinthea. Do not be late; you're not the only one on a strict schedule," he replied. She watched him walk away, biting her lip to conceal the smile on her lips. Glancing at the clock, she saw that she only had fifteen minutes before she had to meet him. Hastily going through the battle she had been working on, she typed out the basics of the battle, then made her way to the entrance. She straightened out her robes then walked up to Obi-Wan.
"Master Kenobi, shall we?" she asked formally.
"Ah, Ms. Sinthea. Punctual as usual, I see. One might think you look forward to the meetings we have," he said to her as they started down the hallway.
"One might think that. Don't forget, Master Kenobi, it was you and your council that banished me from battle. I have never denied my passion for strategy, and since you so graciously keep me informed as to the goings on of the Jedi, I'll gladly admit that I enjoy meeting with you, for nothing else than I can point out your errors in battle," she retorted. He smirked at her as they entered the cafeteria, but said nothing. They got their food and sat in a particularly secluded area of the large room.
"I trust your flight back was alright?" Odessa asked mildly as she picked at her food.
"It was uneventful, but pleasant. I had many things to think about," he replied, looking into her eyes. She felt a slight shiver go up her spine as she stared into his familiar turquoise eyes.
"I hope only good things," she said, breaking eye contact.
"Oh yes, only good things. It's wonderful to be back on solid ground, for once. It seems as if it's been forever since I've been here."
"Were your meetings with the council and others eventful?" she asked him, hoping he would catch her drift.
"Somewhat, but nothing that would interest someone like you," he replied. She sighed, understanding what he meant.
"So, tell me about these, um, how did you put it? Your 'fantastic travels across the universe.'" She grinned at him. He went into very elaborate detail on some of the battles he had told her about before, making them sound much worse than they actually were. By the end of the lunch hour, both were having trouble trying to conceal their laughter. They walked side by side to the entrance of the library, where younglings were pouring in to study for their tests. He took her hand in his, and whispered just loud enough for her to hear.
"I'll be by the same time tonight. If I'm late, I'll let you know beforehand." She nodded imperceptibly, and he brushed past her. She stood for a moment, calming her thoughts and nerves so she would be able to work again. She approached her desk and saw Merina watching her. Smiling serenely at the woman, she sat down and continued with her work. She forced herself to let go of all thoughts of Obi-Wan and was able to breeze through her work without catching the attentions of the librarian. Finally it was time for her to leave, and she rushed to pick up Han and go home.
Once at home, all the fears and worries about Obi-Wan returned. Her stomach was in knots, and she was initially worried that she didn't have time to do everything she needed to do. Hastily she gave Han a bath and dressed him, then slipped into a simple yet flattering dress. She cooked one of her favorite meals, and just as she placed it on the table, a knock sounded on the door. Feeling her stomach flip uncomfortably, she opened the door. Obi-Wan stood in her doorway, smiling. She ushered him in, and as soon as the door was closed, he pulled her into a tight hug.
"It feels like forever since I last saw you," He said into her hair. She clutched him tightly, afraid that if she let go he'd disappear again. They stayed that way for a few moments, then he held her at arm's length to look at her.
"You're even more beautiful than I remembered," he said softly, looking into her eyes. She blushed, and he laughed.
"You are. It's a wonder some other man hasn't snatched you up while I was away," he told her. "I've dreamt about this day since I left, when I could hold you in my arms and tell you the things you should hear," he said to her, bringing her close again.
"It's so wonderful to see you, too, Obi-Wan," she said in barely a whisper. It didn't seem real to her, that he was actually with her and she was really in his arms.
"Mama?" a tiny voice sounded from the living room. Obi-Wan and Odessa pulled away from each other and looked at the small boy sitting on the floor. He was holding out the large rubber ball. Smiling, Odessa went over to Han and scooped him into her arms.
"Han, can you say hello to Obi-Wan?" she asked him.
"Hi O-Ben!" the small boy said excitedly, waving. Obi-Wan laughed.
"He's still getting the hang of talking. It took him forever to say Padmé's name, and even now it comes out as something like 'Paa-may.' Of course, she thinks it's absolutely adorable," Odessa explained.
"And it is," Obi-Wan responded, taking the boy into his arms. Han shrieked with laughter as Obi-Wan held him high above his head. Placing him back on the floor, Obi-Wan turned to Odessa.
"Shall we begin eating?" he asked. She nodded, and they made their way to the table. Obi-Wan surveyed the meal, which was full of the most delicious looking meats and vegetables imaginable.
"Odessa, you really outdid yourself," he said, awed.
"Well, it's not every day the person one cares about returns home," she said simply. He cast her a sweet smile, then dug into the food. They discussed Obi-Wan's meeting with Chancellor Palpatine during the meal, and while Obi-Wan noticed that he seemed to have a great dislike for the Jedi, he greatly cared for Anakin. He didn't appear to have a dark presence surrounding him, but that could be concealed by the more powerful Sith lords. Obi-Wan promised to continue looking into it, though. Once Odessa had put Han to bed, she joined Obi-Wan in the living room. He sat on the couch, looking at her as she entered.
"Did you want to get some training in tonight?" she asked as she sat beside him.
"In a few minutes. Right now I just want to spend some time with you. Your presence is quite soothing, and I've been very tense these past few months. You kept me sane, you know, just being able to talk to you every night." He took her hands in his.
"Obi-Wan, I'm flattered that you care about me the way you do. I don't think I would have made it through the tougher parts of these past two years if I didn't have you in my life. I wish that I could find the words to express how much your companionship has meant to me; how much you mean to me. I just worry that should we progress our relationship any further, you could be in danger of losing your position within the Jedi, as I was. As much as I care for you, I won't let that happen to anyone else," she said to him. His eyes were full of concern for her, but he smiled.
"Nothing like that will happen. Like we said, we really shouldn't progress things any further until the war is over – I have a feeling the rest of the council wouldn't look down upon a relationship as much when we're not running off to battle every three days. But we could keep it quiet – no one would have to know if it worries you. I know it would get us both in a lot of trouble right now, but we don't need to worry about that yet." His calm voice soothed her nerves, and she smiled at him. They sat together in silence for a moment, then Odessa turned to Obi-Wan.
"Well, I don't know about you, but my muscles could use bit of exercise. I'm going to go change; why don't you prepare the living room. I'll be back in a moment," Odessa said. She got up and headed for her bedroom.
"My dear, are you propositioning me?" Obi-Wan asked, one eyebrow quirked. Odessa grinned at him.
"Of course, my dear Master Kenobi. In the best way possible. Make sure your blade is ready for me." She disappeared into her room, but heard Obi-Wan laughing in the living room as he moved the furniture out of the way. She quickly changed into her Jedi garb and grabbed the lightsaber she had stashed in a high cupboard over her bed. Entering the living room, she saw Obi-Wan stretching in the center of the room.
"Ready?" he asked.
"As I'll ever be," she said, getting into position. Soon they were fiercely battling as Obi-Wan called out the mistakes she made. There were far fewer than Odessa expected, and Obi-Wan seemed genuinely impressed by her style. They continued for three hours before returning, exhausted, to the couch.
"Your form is almost perfect," Obi-Wan said as he tried to catch his breath, "but sometimes you leave your upper torso unprotected once you loose your focus. It's rare and it's very brief, but a good Sith Lord would find it easily."
"Strangely enough, that's the same complaint my master had about my style. We spent years trying to fix it, but I'm not sure how much of it helped," she replied. He smiled at her, then yawned sleepily.
"I suppose I should be going. I'm not sure if I'd feel right, staying her now that we…have something together," Obi-Wan said apprehensively.
"Oh, nonsense. You're exhausted, and I know I can trust you to behave yourself. You did in the past, after all. Let me just get you an extra pillow and blanket, and then you'll be all set," she said to him. She pulled herself up, aching, and he caught her arm.
"You're too good to me, Odessa," he said with a weak smile. He pulled her back onto the couch and gathered her into his arms. She went willingly, unable to let go of him just yet.
"I missed you so much," he whispered softly. Odessa rested her head on his shoulder, unacquainted with the sudden physical contact, but enjoying it already.
"And I you," she said to him. "But we really must get some sleep, or the council will know something is wrong when they hear it from Merina. We can't risk getting her suspicions up again." Obi-Wan reluctantly let go of her, and she brought out some bedding for him to use on the couch. Wishing him sweet dreams, she finally went to sleep in her own bed.
The next morning she met him in the living room for their morning exercises. They sat together silently as they meditated, but both could feel the connection between them growing. Reluctantly Obi-Wan left, promising to see her at noon.
A week passed with nothing to interrupt their brief but wonderful time together. Odessa was able to concentrate on her work, so although Merina kept an eye on her, there was nothing she could criticize. The evenings were pure heaven for both Odessa and Obi-Wan, as they spent them sparring and discussing battles, both those Odessa had analyzed and those that could occur in the near future. Odessa did improve her form, much to Obi-Wan's delight. They were true to their word that their relationship wouldn't progress at all, but the time they had together was still very intense and passionate. One evening, Obi-Wan appeared at Odessa's door with a strange expression on his face. Odessa let him in, and he simply held her for almost ten minutes.
"Obi-Wan, something's bothering you. What is it?" she asked as she finally was released from his grasp.
"They found Dooku. Well, not found so much as know the general area where he is. Chancellor Palpatine 'had it on good authority' that Dooku was in a particular star system, and it turns out he was right. Anakin and I will be leaving within the week," his eyes met hers, and they were full of so much sorrow that Odessa ached for him.
"Well, if you know where he is, then it shouldn't be a difficult mission, and you'll be back soon," she replied, trying to sound optimistic. Obi-Wan shook his head.
"He's just too good at jumping around and hiding. We've been chasing him for years now, and he's still managed to escape us. If they send us out, we'll be lucky if we're back within a year."
"It won't be that bad. They barely kept you out six months this last time, so I doubt it'd be any more than that this time. And besides, if you catch him, you'll get to come back sooner," she said reassuringly. He came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders as she set the table.
"I wish I could have your optimism," he said to her. "I just can't imagine having to leave you again." She turned to him.
"Don't talk like that. We both knew that you would have to leave again, since your first commitment is to the Jedi. All I ask is that you come back to me, so we can have another blissful few days before your next project. Wherever you go, you'll still have me with you in here," she said to him, placing a hand over his heart. He placed his hands over hers and smiled weakly.
"Of course you're right. It's ridiculous that I call myself a Jedi when I become a blubbering mess at the mere thought of leaving you. I should be stronger than this."
"You are. Even the strongest Jedi need to have a person or a place where they can drop their guard and just be themselves for once. You're a wonderful Jedi, so don't ever think differently," she said to him reassuringly. He embraced her once more, then they sat down to eat.
"Honestly though, it will take a miracle for them to bring us home this time. The Senate wants Dooku's head, and I don't think they'll take no for an answer. That means if we don't find him, we're out of luck until we do," He said to her as they ate.
"Well then, you'll just have to find him as soon as possible, won't you? I won't be terribly amused if you leave me again for an undisclosed amount of time," she joked. He finally smiled at her.
"So tell me, how did Chancellor Palpatine know where Dooku was?" she asked.
"That's the funny thing – no one seems to know. He just kept telling us that he had reliable sources and that he was definitely there. A quick scan of the area did show us that there were numerous droid armies in the area, so he's probably right. I would like to know who these sources are, though," he said.
After dinner they practiced as usual, then sat together for an hour to wind down from the exercise. They spent the time talking about nothing in particular, just enjoying the sound of each other's voice.
The next few days saw Obi-Wan growing more and more somber as the details of his mission were decided. The day before his departure finally arrived, and both Odessa and Obi-Wan were trying to keep a positive outlook. In truth, they were both dying a bit inside.
They ate dinner together; the meal oddly silent despite Han's senseless babbling. Instead of sparring, they simply sat together and talked late into the night about the battles to come. Reluctantly Obi-Wan fell asleep, and Odessa gently wrapped the blanket around him before turning in herself. The next morning they went through their exercises together, but it was particularly hard for Obi-Wan to leave.
"I'll contact you as soon as I can, but that could be days, depending on how close we're stationed to the droid armies. I'm sure you'll hear if…if something happens that I can't contact you," Obi-Wan told her.
"Don't say things like that. You'll be fine, and once again you'll be the hero of the galaxy. Nothing will go wrong," she said soothingly. He wrapped one arm around her waist, and used the other to gently work his fingers through her hair.
"I hope you're right. I've just gotten so used to being with you, I can't bear the thought of being without you," he said to her, his voice raw with emotion.
"Obi-Wan, I want you to know that I-" He cut her off by placing a finger to her lips, then gently lowering his face to her own. Their lips met in a sweet, slow kiss that sent fire to every part of her body. His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her closer, yet his lips remained soft and undemanding. Finally they broke apart, both breathless.
"I'm glad I waited until then to do that. I'll need that memory fresh in my mind during the battles to come," he said to her in a husky whisper. She smiled slightly, and wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. He pulled back a little, his eyes burning her face into his memory, and then he was gone. She watched his back retreating, her mind still swimming from the passionate kiss he had just given her. She finally mustered up the strength to go on with her daily chores and went into the nursery to wake Han.
Two days passed before Odessa heard from him. They had been difficult, emotion filled days, but at least she had Padmé to commiserate with. Her friend had been moody and emotional since Anakin's departure, but she was still the loyal and caring friend that Odessa had always had. When Odessa finally heard Obi-Wan's voice over the communicator telling her that he was alright, they two women had spent the evening shedding tears of joy and laughing about their stupidity for worrying over them. Obi-Wan's schedule was still a bit sporadic, but he promised to contact Odessa as often as he could. By the time they had been gone for two weeks, Odessa had gotten used to Obi-Wan's absence, but Padmé's mood had only worsened. One evening, Padmé appeared at Odessa's door, frantic. Odessa brought her inside and sat her down, encouraging her to take a few deep breaths and to calm down. Finally, her friend was calm enough to speak.
"'Dessa, I'm pregnant."
So, was that enough fluff for everyone:-)
Rachel Sparrow – Thank you so much for reviewing! I hope this chapter met up to your expectations!
Mirielle – Isn't baby Han adorable? I love writing him. Now, to address your comments – Obi-Wan doesn't want anyone to know that he was training anyone, plus Odessa was already used to a real lightsaber. Trust me, it'll be important later in the story. As for the "hardest battle of his life comment," well, he was exaggerating a little. Of course he's had more strenuous battles in his lifetime, but he likes making her happy, even if she doesn't believe him :-).