It's a good feeling when you sign on Yahoo and realize that you have like...actual e-mails! It's not your junk mail screaming, and it's not the crap that doesn't go to your "Bulk Mail" Folder but really to you that's what it is (forwards most specifically). So I'm happy and then I realize... has sent me 5 flippin e-mails, and all of them not only comment on the great story, but people actually read my AN! YAY! Anyway, this is a first, I'd like to take a second to talk to KyoHana: I do agree with you, rereading that part (remember, year in the works) made me cringe and go "I like shower sex...but...damn I wish I could change the words" but it was one of those things that, if I changed it, I'd wind up changing the entire story and it'd take another year. So, I am sorry, but at least you enjoyed it. In other newsso, 5 reviews last chapter, let's get...6 this one yes? We'll raise the number every chapter, but don't worry, I probably won't stick to it, because I would really like to just get this one posted and out, it's finally done, I want to know what you guys think, and chapter format really doesn't work with how I would like it to be read.
Disclaimer: (Should've done one of these last chapter) If I owned Yu Yu Hakusho, Genkai would've killed Kuwabara, and the main characters would be Hiei and Kurama and every now and then they'd do something that--well let's just say Cartoon Network wouldn't have touched the seires with a ten and a half foot pole.
Warnings: For this chapter...I'd have to say Slash, More OC (but we already know the drill for this, don't we? though, I admit, I did kind of go overboard here, looking back on it oops) Tears from Hiei, A crappy line from a really crappy song I tried towrite a yearago (God...why am I posting this story!) Random appearance by Shizuru!And, finally, a lot of Angst. In fact, the very last part, I want every one to use their imaginations to what I was thinking of. If you can't catch theallusion, I'll explain it down in the bottom.
Rated: M! In this chapter because of the angst level, and...well because we're still trying to get over the scene in the last chapter aren't we?
Hiei entered the bathroom with a huge warm red towel. He knelt next to the tub and stroked Kurama's hair. He had managed to keep it out of the water for the most part.
"Fox…" Hiei called. Kurama lifted out of the water and blinked.
"Hmm?" he asked lazily. Hiei rolled his eyes.
"About to fall asleep?"
"I couldn't help it, the water is so warm and it smells so good…" he muttered. Hiei shook his head.
"I'm not done with you yet…c'mon…" Hiei helped Kurama stand up and wrapped him in the warm towel. Kurama smiled as he stepped out.
"Ooo…it's so soft and warm and cozy…" he purred as Hiei pulled the drain in the tub. Hiei rolled his eyes and smiled.
"C'mon you…" he said holding up Kurama's robe. Kurama shook his head, took the robe put it down and wrapped Hiei up in the towel with him.
"No, I think I'll stay just like this…" he mumbled into Hiei's hair. Hiei wrapped his arms around Kurama and sighed. After a few minutes Kurama ruffled Hiei's hair.
"See? Isn't this nice?" Hiei pulled away.
"I know something that'll be even nicer if you'd just hurry up…" he said handing Kurama his robe. Kurama chuckled as he pulled on his robe and tied it loosely.
"Ok, ok…let's go Love…" Hiei took Kurama's hand and led him to their bedroom. He stopped outside the door and turned to smile at Kurama.
"Close your eyes…" he commanded.
Kurama closed his eyes and clutched to Hiei a bit tighter as he heard the door open and he was led inside. Hiei closed the door and wrapped his arms around Kurama from behind.
"Ok…open them now…" Kurama's eyes opened and he gasped.
"Oh Hiei…" he whispered.
Gentle soft music floated in the air of the room, which had been redecorated to deep reds and blacks. There were white and red rose petals sprinkled on the floor and bed and red and white candles surrounding the room providing the only light in the entire room. In the center was a small statue, untouched by a single rose petal where a dragon was wrapped around a fox with 4 tails, both sound asleep. Kurama smiled as he realized that Hiei had made it with roses carved around the base and black tear gems had been used to make the scales on the dragon. He turned and held Hiei tight.
"Hiei…" he whispered. " Why are you doing all of this? It's so wonderful!" Hiei clutched onto Kurama tighter.
"You'll see…" he replied quietly.
He backed away and led Kurama to the bed. Kurama sat down carefully on the black silk comforter. He felt like crying for some odd reason but he held it in. Hiei poured them both a glass of wine and handed Kurama his.
"For you…" he mumbled. Kurama smiled and took a sip.
"Hiei…I know I've said this a million times already, but you've really out done yourself. I don't see how I deserve all of this!" Hiei smiled lightly and put down his glass. He sat next to Kurama and took his left hand in his right hand.
"Fox, you really are stupid you know that." Kurama laughed and wiped away a single tear.
"I must be!" he said. Hiei looked worriedly up at him.
"Are you ok? Why are you crying?" Kurama nodded.
"I'm fine Hiei, really. I don't know why I'm crying though! I just, I feel so loved…" Hiei smiled as Kurama placed his glass down and turned to Hiei and placed his other hand on top of Hiei's.
"Ok I'm done now. Sorry," he said smiling. Hiei smiled softly.
"No…don't be. Kurama, you deserve all of this because of what you're feeling right now. I…well I had never experienced such a feeling before I met you. That's why it took me so long to admit to you my feelings, and come to terms with yours. I was afraid; I was scared of the feeling that had weld up inside of me. Kurama, I can't tell you at the moment why I picked this time to tell you all of this…but…well…" A small box fell out of the sleeve of Hiei's robe. Kurama glanced down at it as it hit him softly in the leg. He scrunched up his nose.
"Hiei? What's that?" Hiei laughed nervously and pulled his hands back.
"I had a feeling that would happen," he muttered while picking up the box. "You know I've been living in the Ningenkai way to long…Kurama, I know we're already bound to one another by demon standards, and spiritual standards, and it's really not much, but…will you…marry me?" Hiei opened the box. Kurama gasped at the gold and silver band with small flames engraved on it. He burst into tears and hugged Hiei tightly.
The first time they had told each other their feelings wasn't this emotional, it turned into a long series of sex. The second time they had such a moment was when they bound their souls and spirit energy together. Hiei had been worried about the Youko going back to his old ways and they performed the ancient ritual. It ended in both of them being exhausted, and annoyed by the small quirks that followed the ritual, but they got through it, and it strengthened their relationship. This though, Hiei had left Mukuro and thus Makai for Kurama, vowing not to return for good until the Youko was ready, that had meant a life stuck in the Ningenkai for Hiei, something they both knew would be hard. Hiei was always trying to get Kurama to go to Makai, every time Kurama complained about something in the Ningenkai he would use the same trick. It never worked though. To Kurama, the request to marry Hiei by the human standards meant more to him than anything else in the world. It meant to him that Hiei had finally accepted the Ningenkai as his home.
"Oh Hiei…I love you so much…Inari, I love you so much Hiei it hurts!" he cried. Hiei smiled and bit his bottom lip as two tears fell from his eyes. They hit Kurama who looked at them and smiled than started crying harder.
"So…is that a yes?" Hiei asked. Kurama laughed and wiped his eyes. He nodded smiling than laughed again.
"Of course it's a yes you goose! Oh I love you so much!" he cried out.
He latched onto Hiei again, who fell back on the bed laughing and crying with Kurama. There would be no sex that night, they both knew it, instead there would be a lot of tear gems to take care of the next day once Kurama got home from work, and sweet dreams until than.
Kurama smiled happily as the bus dropped him off a block away from his apartment complex. He started off walking towards his home humming a soft and quiet song. As the sun glinted off the gold and silver band around his finger, Kurama couldn't think of one thing in the world that could ruin his mood.
"Look through the window you gentle soul, see through my heart and the feelings it holds. Hear this song bursting from my heart and realize my love, it's for you," he sang softly, smiling as he finally neared the apartments.
Hiei was sitting on the couch wearing his blue shirt and his black pants with the white belts looking at the gold and silver ring with roses engraved on it that resided on his finger. A tear slid from his eye as Kurama walked into the apartment and dead silence. The first thing Kurama saw was Hiei's shoes by the window.
"Hiei?" he asked quickly closing the door and rushing forward to the living room.
The small demon looked up from his sword with his black cloak and white scarf draped over the couch next to him. He sheathed his sword and stood, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.
"Kurama…" he whispered.
"Hiei, what's going on?" the worried Fox asked. Hiei looked down quickly.
"I've been called back to Makai. It's imperative that I leave as soon as possible…"
"I thought you had left Makai…" Kurama replied taking a step forward. He could feel the tears building up again.
'I did, but…this is…it's a job I can't turn down Kurama." Kurama didn't ask; he didn't want to know. He moved to sit down on the couch.
"When will you be back?" he asked quietly looking down.
"I'm not sure…"
"You can't even give me a time frame?" Kurama cried out looking up at Hiei with tears streaming down his face. Hiei bit his lip.
"A year…possibly more…" Kurama jumped up. The plants in the house and outside sprang to life growing slowly, stretching and creaking in a wind that did not exist.
"A year! But what about everything that happened last night!" he yelled. Hiei closed his eyes.
"Fox, calm down. I'm about to go see if maybe it can take less. I swear I'll be back and visit when I can!" Kurama cried harder as Hiei refused to look at him.
"Hiei, why now? Why do you have to do this now? After all of that, and now you have to leave?"
"I have no choice Kurama…" Hiei looked up at him and forced a smile. "Maybe you can come with me…" He had left it open, not a question or a statement. They had been over the subject before.
"You know I can't go back to Makai, not yet…" Hiei nodded slowly and looked down. Neither looked at each other. Silence filled the room.
"Kurama, I do still want to get married…I do still…you know…" Hiei looked up hopefully. Kurama balled up his hands into fists and looked up tears streaming from his eyes.
"No! No I don't know! Hiei we've been together for long enough, you asked me to marry you, but never once have you ever told me out loud that you love me, plain and simple! I love you so much Hiei it hurts! And I know I've told you that more than once!" Hiei stepped back.
"Fox…" Kurama screamed.
"No! Don't! Go ahead! You know what go ahead and leave! But hear this Hiei…I love you, and I always will. Running away for a year or so will not change that! You can't run away from me!" he cried. Tear gems dropped to the floor as Hiei took a few steps towards Kurama.
"Kurama please…" he whispered. Kurama looked away.
"No, get out of here. Just go…I don't care anymore…have fun in Makai…" He turned around. Hiei sighed as more tear gems fell from his eyes.
"Right," he whispered. He wiped away his tears and put on his cloak and scarf. He walked to the window and put on his shoes while opening it. He looked back before he jumped out sadly.
"I wish…I wish I could tell you Kurama…but I don't know how to…" he whispered before vanishing.
Kurama fell to his knees and cried long and hard. Once he had collected himself as best as he could he headed to the phone to call the only person he knew could help him at a time like this, the only person whom he could tell absolutely everything to…Shizuru Kuwabara.
Shizuru sighed and stroked Kurama's hair as he cried and told her everything that had happened. She put her cigarette out and looked down at the distressed boy who had, upon her command, laid his head down in her lap. She found the whole ordeal quite ironic, after all, she really didn't know Kurama and Hiei that well, she knew they were madly in love with one another before they told each other, and very little else. She was sure Kayko could've helped more than she could've, but Kurama insisted that only she could.
"And than he just disappeared!" Kurama sniffled. Shizuru looked down at him and smiled sadly.
"Men are jerks Kurama, and from what I've heard they're worse when they're demons…" Kurama sniffled than laughed softly.
"Gee thanks…" Shizuru smirked and shrugged.
"Well what can I say it, I'm right aren't I?" Kurama became quiet than nodded slowly.
"Yeah…you are…" he whispered. " But…even my Youko aspect is in pain. The great Youko, who used to purposely break other's hearts, be they male or be they female!" Shizuru sighed and smiled down at the broken hearted male.
"That only means you truly love Hiei, which means you two are perfect for one another…"
"I don't know what you're talking about; he obviously doesn't love me as much as he tries to say he does…"
"Kurama, think about Hiei's past…he's had a really rough one hasn't he? Maybe he truly is afraid!"
"But he's not afraid to swear himself to me and only me in any other way…"
"Ok maybe he's afraid and confused, and really stupid!" Kurama chuckled.
"Maybe you're right." Shizuru smiled down at him and stroked his hair.
"So are you going to be all right now?" Kurama nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I'll be ok…" he said sitting up. Shizuru stretched and yawned.
"Good! Cause I need to get home and get some sleep!" Kurama looked at her confused.
"But it's still early…"
"And it was even earlier when I got up this morning…I've been going nonstop all day!" she said standing up. Kurama stood as well.
"Doing what? May I ask?" Shizuru looked at him and winked.
"Absolutely nothing…" Kurama laughed and walked her to the door.
"Well, thank you for coming over Shizuru…"
"No problem…"
"I'll see you later."
"Bye Kurama…oh and…don't do anything stupid ok?" Kurama smiled and nodded.
"I won't I promise," he replied before shutting the door.
Kurama went through the daily process of getting to bed. Only tonight it was different. There was no Hiei on the couch complaining about how he had to go to work the next day and how bored he'd be with out him around. There was no Hiei to stand on the small stool they had gotten in the shower to wash his hair for him. There was no Hiei to wrap arms with while brushing their teeth. There was no laughter, no smiles, and no joy that night, and Kurama doubted there would be again for a long time to come. He didn't cry though. He refused to cry as he looked in the mirror as he brushed the teeth and didn't see Hiei in the mirror scowling over the height differences that he was always teased about. He didn't cry when he put on his P.J. bottoms and Hiei didn't jump out of no where yanking them down and grinning evilly as Kurama was pushed to the bed insisting he couldn't that night, he had to go to work the next day. He didn't cry when he set his alarm and turned off the light and lay in bed by himself with out Hiei reaching over to reverse it, mumbling about how he wanted to see Kurama's face perfectly and didn't want that damn annoying contraption going off in the morning. He rolled over and hugged the small plush dragon he had won from a carnival a few months back with Hiei, and still did not cry. He even took Hiei's fox plush that he had won from the same place and placed it on the bedside table and did not cry. He closed his eyes and shifted slightly. Something was poking his back. Kurama sat up and lifted a single tear gem; the only one Hiei had missed from the night before. Kurama laid back and cried. Hiei had cried for him. Hiei did love him, he had to have! Otherwise he would've never cried for him. Kurama curled up in a small ball and silently cried to himself trying to sleep. Twenty minutes later the window opened next to his bed and the soft sound of Hiei entering drifted to Kurama's ears. He opened his eyes slightly, but did not move, and he kept his breathing even. Hiei sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him smiling softly.
"Fox…I know you can hear me…you don't have to turn though…" he whispered. Kurama made no signs of acknowledging the koorime was there.
"Fox…I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I have to leave. I don't know when I'll be back, more than likely more than a year, but I promise I will be back! And we can get married wherever you want, and invite as many people as you want!" Hiei looked hopefully at Kurama. When he got no reply he looked down sadly. The plush on the bedside table caught his attention. He laughed quietly and picked it up.
"Hey…Little Fox…If I can't bring my big Fox with me, I can at least bring you…" he whispered. Hiei turned towards Kurama and placed a gentle hand on him.
"Kurama please…don't be mad at me, don't hate me…" Kurama's eyes closed tight and a sob raked through him, making him shudder. It was enough for Hiei. The koorime leaned down so he was inches away from the Youko's face.
"I love you…" he whispered quietly.
Kurama felt the tears spring forth. He clutched the small dragon tighter as more tears fell silently. Hiei bit his lip as a tear started to form, he caught it before it could go though and leaned down and mixed it with one of Kurama's tears carefully. A small tear gem formed, black with a burst of red in the center. Hiei smiled and leaned his head on Kurama's shoulder while holding it out in front of them.
"See what we have created together, a beauty, a treasure, unmatched." Kurama did not look, he did not see. Hiei sighed and sat up. He placed the tear gem in one of Kurama's hands and backed up slightly.
"I love you more than even I can understand…I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I fear I won't be able to see you for a long, long time. I promise to be careful, and I promise that I will come back for you. I love you Kurama, my Fox, my Human, my Youko, my Love…" With that Hiei was gone again. Kurama opened his eyes and through his tears a smile formed as he looked at the tear gem in his hand.
"I love you too Hiei, my Fire Baby, my Demon, my Koorime, my Love," he whispered before crying himself softly to sleep.
Kurama looked in the mirror. Only two words passed through his mind, one month. One month since he had been proposed to. One month since he had been officially considered some one's fiancé. One month since he had fought with the one he loved. One month since that same one disappeared. One month since he had been told how much he was loved. One month of depression, of being alone, of waking up to an empty pillow, and of eating meals alone. One month filled with crying.
He never went into details, he only said what needed to be said, and that was that Hiei had gone back to Makai for awhile, and he didn't know when he'd be back. He never told Shizuru what happened, but the tear gem was put on a small chain and was always around his neck. Yukina saw it one day and commented on it. Kurama thanked her for the compliment, and was done. Shuuichi Minamino had even become affected. He was no longer the bubbling happy young man every one knew. He was the poor soul who had lost a lover who had promised to return to him. He smiled, and tried to act normal around his human co-workers, but they could see it in his eyes, every time he looked down at the ring on his hand, he was in pain.
Now looking at the mirror Kurama ran his fingers through his hair. He remembered the first time he had met Hiei, he was only a boy. His hair was cut short, not the best cut for him with his seeds. But he grew it out. Than the Dark Tournament came. Kurama could feel Karasu's fingers running through his hair and it made him shudder. After wards in the hotel room, when the finals were done he scrubbed his hair so much his scalp was sore for a week. Hiei only shook his head and rolled his eyes. Offering nothing but a smirk and an "I told you so." Every night Hiei used to brush his hair, some times they would talk, most of the time they would sit in silence. Kurama felt the tears build up. He grabbed a brush and quickly started brushing out all the seeds. Those that weren't caught by the brush were forced away with Kurama's energy. Soon his hair was completely seed-free and his scalp was red with the abuse from the brush. Kurama glanced down at the floor, covered with all sorts of seeds, ranging from big to small, from pure white to pure black and everything in between. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at the tips disgustedly. Looking back up at the mirror Kurama scowled. A true smile rarely adorned his face these days. Kurama stood and went to his small office and started rummaging around.
"One month…One month…You left me Hiei…I'll never understand why. I love you Hiei, you said you loved me…but did you mean it?" Kurama looked to the window.
"Did you truly mean it!" he shouted as he found what he was looking for. He ran back to his room and looked at his reflection.
"I hate myself now, and I have no reason to. Is this what you wanted?" he growled out.
Did you catch it? Cutting, a very sensitive issue to myself. I actually wrote this before I really knew any one who cut, now I am very sorry to say that I lost a best friend because of it. She didn't die, but uh...well let's just say that we had a bit of a tiff over one issue and that issue was brought up, and well, things just aren't going to well with either of us now. Kind of scary looking back on this and seeing Kurama slicing his hair off and thinking to my self "Sweet Merlin! He's a cutter! Flippin heck, what did I do?"
Anyway, on to more happier notes now, Review Review Review! 6 reviews, you'll get the next chapter, that's what? 6 left? Though knowing me I'll get bored at 12 AM and throw the chapter up anyway (don't get your hopes up though, and review either way! it makes me feel good!)