Chapter 4

She had never been frightened of him before but now as she tried to clam him down he scared her. She made soft noises and softly tried to get him to relax again.

"Why are you helping me? Last time I saw you. The pain I caused you."

"That was Spike, you are William; I said I will help you and I will." She said as she cautiously putting her arm around him, his skin shivering. She looked at him softly as she helped him to sit down. She looked to Willow who just nodded and went to get the first aid kit.

"I keep seeing Laura, it wasn't my fault, but she still keeps screaming for me to help her. Buffy I can't do this. Stake me." He wept as she slowly opened the red box and began to bandage his eyes. His hands slowly came to her cheek.

"I can still see you pet. No matter how blind I am I can always see your face." His voice soft and quite as he continued to run his fingers over her cheeks and chin. Buffy looked at him with tears swimming in her eyes. Why was he affecting her like this? She shouldn't care about him, he had tried to rape her but then as she looked at him she knew this was not the same man that had been in her bathroom that night. Slowly she started to bandage his eyes.

"Can you make them go away can you make Laura go away?" he whispered as she slowly finished bandaging his scarred face.

"I'll do whatever I can, I promise." She sighed as she looked to Willow, the witch nodded understanding that they were about to get into research mode.

"Hey Spi… William. I'm gona make you sleep now okay, you need to rest. It'll be fine just a few hours sleep." Willow said as she put her hand softly on the vampire's head and he gently slumped into Buffy's arms asleep. Buffy gently laid him on a mat putting her coat on his shoulders turning to Willow she let out a heavy sigh and the two women left the vampire to sleep softly in the corner.

"Xander will not be happy." Willow said softly. Buffy stopped in her tracks and spun on her heel.

"He'll deal and if he doesn't he can talk to me. Got that no one is going to hurt William." She said as she looked back into the training room where she could hear the familiar soft snore that was Spike when he was asleep. She had often wondered about that those few times they had slept together but he snored just soft little snores that sounded more like purrs. Looking at him now his eyes bandaged she felt something pangs of both guilt and something close to love. She didn't love him she couldn't love him not after what he did to her the last time they met.

"But."

"But nothing this is not Spike this is the man that has been trapped by the demon since 1880 he remembers everything the demon did every person that died by his hand this is the man dealing with it. He needs to. God he needs to be the man, the soul, the demon robbed. Willow I need you to find out everything you can on the disappearance of Laura. It must have been 1871 at least, in Norfolk during the summer. How many ten year old girls went missing? If I can solve that problem for him he might start to except the guilt if I can ease that pain maybe I can help him." She said as she ran her hand through her hair, not a natural gesture for her but she needed to do something with her hands. Only after she had run her finger through her hair did she realize that they were still soaked with his blood. Both startled and horrified she looked at her hands his blood was all over her running as far as her wrists.

"I can't let him suffer. If he can blind himself what will he do when the voices get louder? He deserves some sort of existence now he is well William Dru stole his life now he has it back, soul wise anyway, with his natural ability of immortality. If I can give him even a portion of a life he missed out on I will. And I will make him see again." She said as she stared at the blood that stained her hands and sleeves. Willow looked at her with only a look Willow could give not judgmental but not exactly supportive.

"Buffy I love you, you know that. And Spike, sorry William is well scared. No matter what has to be done I will help you. It pains me to say but he reminds me of Tara when Glory attacked her. I will I promise do everything in my power to help him but it could be hard. Spike did a lot of nasty things not as bad as Angel in his day but gosh the way he got the name Spike."

"Just go all researchy for me please?" Buffy said as she looked at her delicate but powerful friend.