Chapter Seven: Shocks that Reveal the Truth

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down and no one's there to save you
No you don't know like
Welcome to my life
-Simple Plan, Welcome to my Life

Lily was in high spirits the next morning. Sure, she didn't make it on the Quiddich Team, but Bryan came back! Bryan came over from the Ravenclaw table and sat at the Gryffindor table to sit next to Lily. James pouted for a minute but then decided to be mad about it later.

"Did you see the Daily Prophet?" Remus asked, looking over at Lily. Lily shook her head and Remus handed her the newspaper. Lily scanned through it and shuddered.

"That's horrible," she said softly. James raised his eyebrows.

"What happened?" he asked.

"The Wimbourne Wasps and the Chudley Cannons got into a huge fight and the Wasps' keeper was killed," Lily said, taking a bite out of her toast.

"McKinley is dead?" Ash asked, her eyes growing wide. Lily nodded.

"Wow, that's terrible," Jackie said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Speaking of Quiddich, it's a shame you didn't make the Quiddich team, Lil," Bryan said, glaring at James as if to say it was his fault Lily didn't make it. James was about to point out that the team didn't even let him vote for seeker because they all assumed he would vote for Lily, but he decided better of it. Lily smiled at Bryan as the morning post came in.

"Lily, you got an owl," Rochelle said, motioning to a silvery-white owl Lily did not recognize. She took the letter from the owl, it hooted, and flew out of the Great Hall. Lily opened the letter and, recognizing her father's messy handwriting, read to herself,


Dear Lily,

I'm sending this with a rental owl. I'm sorry to say I have grave news. On her way to Morocco, those Death Eater things attacked Nidale. According to your Head Master, they broke into the school over the holidays and stole something. This next part is rather fuzzy to me, because I think your Headmaster thought I would not understand, not being a wizard and all, but I'll give it my best.

Someone in your school made a list of all the Muggle-borns that attend Hogwarts. Dumbledore has great reason to believe it was a teacher, because the he always found multiple copies of the list all around his office. Before he had the chance to destroy them, someone stole them and that person obviously has something against Muggleborns, because they sent alliances to find Nidale.

I am deeply sorry to say Nidale was killed. Her funeral is to be held in Morocco, with her entire family. Watch out, Lily.

-Your Father

Lily felt the tears rush to her eyes.

"What does it say?" Ash asked quickly. Lily hiccupped slightly. Feeling the tears fall down her face, she ran out of the Great Hall and down the corridor. She ran blindly into the Head's Room and broke down, crying, on an armchair. Back in the Great Hall, Rochelle had picked up the letter Lily had left carelessly on the table.

"Oh my gosh. Nidale is d-dead," Rochelle said faintly. James froze for a split second before jumping out of his seat, as if electrified, and followed Lily out of the Great Hall.

"She's not in the common room," he thought anxiously. He then entered the Head's Room to loud, anguished sobs.

"Lily?" he said cautiously. Lily lifted her pale head. Her eyes were red and puffy and the usually bright, excited emeralds were dark with misery. James ran over to her and embraced her in a hug. She cried loudly into his shoulder and he rocked her back and forth, not exactly sure how to comfort her. After a good ten minutes of this, she pulled away and bit her lip.

"Dumbledore knows why they broke into the school now," she said quietly. James raised his eyebrows.

"Why?"

"They stole a list of all the Muggle borns. That's why they killed Nidale. She was a Muggle born, James. Hogwarts isn't safe anymore," Lily said in a high-pitched voice. She looked up into his deep, hazel eyes and saw not cockiness, not fury, not any emotion she had ever seen in those eyes before. This time was different. This time, she saw fear.

"But Lily...you're Muggle born," James said slowly. Lily nodded.

"None of the Muggle borns are safe," she whimpered. It hit James suddenly. Lily was in danger. But how? He had never imagined Lily to be in danger. Sure, she was ridiculed for being Muggle born, but this was actual, life threatening danger. But perfect Lily? James had always been sure her life had been flawless...

"Lily, you-- I-- we--" James was completely lost for words. Lily took a deep breath and felt herself moving closer to James. His warm breath was caressing her face and she felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her. She was absolutely sure they were about to kiss when there was a shout.

"OY! PRONGS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR POTIONS IF YOU DON'T MOVE!"

Sirius was yelling from outside the portrait hole. Lily moved away from James, a pink tinge to her face. She took a deep breath again and stood up.

"I'm not going to class," she said awkwardly. James stood up, also.

"Okay, uh...I'll explain to Salandar," he said, shifting around uncomfortably. He walked out to see the rest of the Marauders and the girls standing there. Rochelle was crying openly. It seemed as though Ash was trying to keep a strong face. James had a strong suspicion Jackie was crying; Remus had his arm around her and she was covering her face from view.

"Well, lets get moving," Peter said softly. James shot a quick, angry look at Sirius for interrupting his moment with Lily, but then decided he would also be mad about that later.

"Wait, where's Lily?" Sirius asked.

"She's not going to class," James explained. Rochelle, Ash, and Jackie looked up.

"We should go talk to her," Ash suggested in a tearstained voice. Rochelle nodded numbly and Jackie just sniffled in response. The boys nodded in agreement.

The four of them trudged down to the dungeons while Rochelle, Jackie, and Ash went to go cry with Lily. Their moods and the area made James even more depressed. How could this happen? he thought miserably, I thought this would be my best year at Hogwarts, being Head Boy and all. But it's just my worst!

They then began to continue their Blood-Replenishing Potions they had been working on since last class.

James stirred his potion rather numbly, not noticing how cold and sinister it was down in the dungeons. He felt so bad for Lily. When she was miserable, he was miserable. He didn't feel like planning a prank with the Marauders, beating on Snape, watching Sirius hit on random hot girls...

"So, Potter," came a sly, icy voice. James spun around and saw the one and only Severus Snape sitting at the desk behind his.

"Where's your mudblood girlfriend?" Snape asked smugly. James took a deep breath and shot a glance at Salandar to make sure he wasn't watching.

"None of your business," James said slowly, gritting his teeth. Keep under control, he told himself, Lily wouldn't want me to get into a fight.

"I suppose she's off crying about her mudblood friend," Snape said most unsympathetically. "Or maybe she's just skipping class. Yes, that's probably it. She wouldn't be crying because mudbloods have no feelings."

All thoughts of staying under control left James and he felt a wave of fury wash over him. He turned around, raised his fist and took a swing at Snape. Snape grunted softly when he felt his right cheek start to bruise. A few girls gasped and Salandar looked up.

"Fighting, Mr. Potter? You can serve detention tonight," Salandar said lazily. Salandar had caught James fighting with Severus several times and it was nothing new to him. James scowled at the old man and turned back to his potion.

Patrols that night was very quiet. Lily spoke of nothing and James thought it best not to disturb her. She was obviously depressed and he was obviously sore. He had just gotten back from his detention with Salandar, who had made him clean the entire potions dungeon Muggle style. They both headed back to the Head's Room in silence. James stopped at the foot of his stairs and turned to see Lily lying on the couch.

"Aren't you going to bed?" he asked. Lily looked up at him, lifting her head slowly. She stood up and walked over to him, unaware of her movements. She leaned closer to him and felt that same wave of dizziness sweep over her. She loved that feeling. Lily moved closer and closer and James felt his whole body tense up.

Lily, confused about whatever she was doing, pressed her lips against his. James was highly surprised, as was Lily. She pulled away from him, a look a worry plastered on her face. She turned around and threw herself on an armchair, sobbing again. James hung his head for a moment, wondering what had just happened. Lily had kissed him... but she was going out with Bryan... and now she was crying...

"Lily?"

"Just go away, Potter!" Lily cried, her voice muffled. James felt his heart fall.

"So we kiss and now it's Potter again?" he said coldly. Lily sighed.

"I'm sorry, James, I just so damn confused," she said, lifting her head from the arm of the armchair.

James sat down next to her.

"Can I tell you something?" James asked slowly. Lily nodded.

"Lily Evans, I love you."