By: Max Pilote
Chapter Four: Vengeful Laughter
"Has anyone seen Pettigrew anywhere?"
"Sorry, Sirius, no word yet. Why are you looking for him so bad?"
"Umm...I want to pay him back for something he did. I just need to get it off my chest."
How could they have not found him yet? Of course, the rat had gone into hiding. Sirius smirked inwardly. There was a part of him that wanted Peter to run, because it loved the chase. It wanted Peter to be scared, because it loved the smell of fear.
He returned to where he had been waiting for Prongs, who had already come out of his interview.
"So, what's the verdict?" he asked.
James smiled brightly, his hazel eyes twinkling behind his glasses. "I get my job back! I can start Friday!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms around Padfoot. In the past, Sirius would have been a little unnerved by these sudden displays of emotion and affection from his old friend, but ever since the fight with Voldemort...
"What do you say we celebrate? Let's go get Remus and have some ice cream," suggested Sirius with a smile.
"That's a great idea!"
In the past two weeks, Remus had moved in with Sirius. He hadn't actually agreed to it. He came home one day and most of things were gone with a note on top of the fire place.
"Moony, your cabin is a dump! And it's cold as hell in there, too. So, I took the liberty of moving all your things into my house where you will be living from now on. Yours truly, Padfoot."
Remus laughed when he saw it, but was also a little aggravated. Still, it was Sirius. When befriending Sirius Black, you had to expect those kind of things.
He knew the hidden reasons behind it, though. Both Sirius and James were feeling very guilty about accusing Remus of being the spy. Thus, it was Padfoot's bright idea that it would make his werewolf friend very happy if he could move back in the apartment. Also, it was very difficult for Lupin to keep a job, seeing as though he was a werewolf. So, he had a lot of trouble making ends meet.
"Come on," insisted Sirius, his beautiful eyes staring at Remus, "you can live here and let me support you, or you can go back to your shack and freeze your ass off."
As always, Sirius Black was very persuasive. He put up a good argument and Remus bought it. So, for the past week and a half, he had taken up residence in the small apartment of Sirius Black. A few enlargement charms had to be put on the place to make room for the werewolf, but it was a small annoyance. Sirius seemed to really enjoy living with Remus, and the werewolf had no complaints about it either.
As his friends entered, Remus abandoned his writing. He looked to them and smiled softly.
"Good news, I hope," he said to them.
James nodded, happier than he had been since he had been reunited with Lily and Harry. "I am now an Auror at the Ministry of Magic!" he announced proudly. "They let me have my job back!"
Sirius chuckled as he took Remus's beat up coat off the coat rack and handed it to him. "We're celebrating with ice cream," he said, as if it were some holy decree.
Taking his coat, Remus laughed at the both of them. "You two are extremely energetic today," he replied. "I dare to ask what has gotten into you."
The two looked at each other and shrugged. It was just a day to be happy.
Sirius, however, still had his own worries. It had been two weeks, and certainly enough time for Peter to get away from them. Indeed, he'd be hiding, fearing the wrath he might have incurred when he betrayed the one who had placed so much trust in him.
He looked sideways at James and decided that it hadn't been as bad as it could have been. Prongs could have died. There was also the possibility that they might lose him a different way, that the fight would leave him a shell of his former self. So many different possibilities could have come out of that horrible nightmare.
As Sirius gazed upon the two friends talking, he smiled softly. None of that actually mattered to him at that moment. If felt like they were just walking down the street like they had before James went into hiding, before they thought Remus was the spy, and before Peter betrayed him.
A frown replaced his smile as he thought of that name and the person it belonged to. Just when he was happy, he had to bring that little bastard up. His fist clenched tightly in anger. As his grey eyes glared down at the pavement below him.
James looked at him and frowned, "Siri? What's wrong?"
"Huh?" asked Sirius as he was brought out of his angry thoughts. "Oh, I'm fine. Really, Jamie."
He turned his gaze back towards the ground. 'Right, everything is fine, Jamie. I don't care that I almost killed you. I don't care that all of this is my fault. I don't care that I can't make everything right,' he thought, bitterly sarcastic as he scolded himself silently. Everyday he thought about it, he sank deeper into it. If he didn't do something soon, it would consume him.
When Remus looked at the frowning Padfoot, however, he knew. He wasn't oblivious as James was. He knew what was eating away at Padfoot. While he felt a pang of sorrow for the wizard, it also made him frustrated that Sirius refused to listen to him.
'There is just no reasoning with that fool,' thought Remus bitterly, though he continued his jovial conversation with James. Neither of them wanted to worry their friend. The last thing James needed to worry about was Pettigrew.
"So, shall we head to Diagon Alley? I don't think we've been there since seventh year," said Sirius with a chuckle
"Ah, the grand memories of our last great year at Hogwarts," mused Prongs, smiling softly. "Then again, most of our memories at Hogwarts are good ones."
Remus chuckled, "Most of them."
Of course, there were always a few memories that they were careful to encroach upon. As few as these were, they were still sensitive subjects.
The three stopped at the corner, waiting to cross the street so they could make their way to the Leaky Cauldron. Sirius had his back turned to the road, seeing as though the light was taking forever. Muggles and their horrible traffic laws. He began to count the people as they walked by, noting their appearances for absolutely no reason.
The first to pass was a woman. She was rather tall and wore a long overcoat that was a horrid shade of brown. It made Sirius a little sick to look at. The second was a shorter woman, but skinny. This made her look like a rather sickly woman, with an odd hat. Feathers stuck out of it in every which direction.
The third person who passed was the most interesting character that passed. He was a rather short, round man. His hair was sort of colorless, so blond that it was almost white.
It nearly knocked him off his feet. Remus and James turned as Sirius started running after the man.
"Come back here, Wormtail!" he yelled angrily.
The man looked at him briefly and continued to run, panicking. People dove out of the way as Sirius raced after the chubby little man. James and Remus rushed after him, shouting at him.
"Sirius! What the hell are you doing?" demanded James.
"You get your ass back here, coward!" screamed Sirius.
He suddenly caught up to the man and turned him around, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and lifting him off the ground.
"YOU DIRTY LITT—"
This man wasn't the one he thought he was chasing. It was Peter.
Slowly, he placed the chubby man on the ground and watched as he ran away. He sank back against the wall instead of going off to find James and Remus. He knew they would come soon.
"Speak of the devil," he muttered as the two came into the alley.
"The hell has gotten into you?" asked James with a frown as he came to stand beside the young man he considered to be his brother. "You've been acting weird lately. While we expect these random acts of violence form you, it seemed a little out of place today."
Padfoot shook his head and frowned, "I don't feel like myself."
Remus growled low in his throat, "I know what's gotten into the bastard." He was tired of putting up with that kind of crap from Sirius. The werewolf had spent that past week and a half watching one of his closest friends descend slowly into madness. Now, there was no way he was just going to stand by and not say anything.
"You have got to stop doing this to yourself," he said to Sirius with a frown. "You're driving yourself and the rest of us insane."
"I'm not doing anything to myself or anyone," replied the stubborn Sirius, looking away from the two of them.
"Damnit, Sirius!" exclaimed Remus in defeat. "You're just a stubborn son a bitch, you know that? I'm trying to stop you from making what could possibly be the biggest mistake of your life!"
"It's a bit too late for that, Moony!" By now, people had started gathering at the entrance of the alleyway, intrigued by the two screaming men. "I was the one who suggested that Wormtail be the secret-keeper! It was all my fault and now I have to fix it!"
"I warned you, Sirius! I told you that if you didn't let it go, it would eat away at you until you were nothing, a shell of your former self! Do you want that Sirius? Do you want the guilt to consume you? Do you want it to control you?"
"If I don't kill Peter, then the guilt will consume me! The guilt will kill me!"
The werewolf shook his head in disappointment before turning his angered glared back on Sirius. "The world works in a certain and mysterious way, Sirius. Eventually, Peter will get what he deserves," he explained.
James looked at the two of them and frowned. While he was not completely lost, he was slightly confused.
"He trusted me, Remus! James trusted me to make the right decision! I let him down, Moony! Prongs almost died because of my stupid decisions! I chose him! I chose Peter to be the secret-keeper and he sold the Potters to Voldemort!"
"I'm going home." No one noticed James speak over the two arguing wizards. He pushed through the crowd and started the slow walk back to his house.
A heavy weight laid on his heart. Why did he feel like that entire argument was his fault? Why did it feel like he had done something wrong? He shook his head and sighed heavily. For a while, he could still hear the two yelling at each other. Then, it faded away, blending with the noise of the crowded street. His mind was settled for that moment while he continued to walk home.
There were just too many things in his own mind to worry about what was happening with Moony and Padfoot. Besides, it was probably just something that would clear up within a day or so. Wasn't it usually something small?
He shook his head and sighed. Sleep was not a common thing for him anymore. Terrible nightmares had been jarring him from his peaceful slumbers each night. Since it was a common occurrence, though, James was able to adjust to the lack of sleep. Apparently, this morning that ability had failed him, for he had overslept.
It wasn't the fact that he wasn't getting sleep that worried him, though. Sleep was really a loose term to him since school after so many late nights writing essays and studying to particularly hard tests. Even late night pranks accustomed his body to a very sporadic sleeping schedule for a while. Thus, it didn't worry him as much as it might have.
The content of the nightmares is what worried him the most. It was always the same nightmare. The exact same sequence of events would plague his dreams night after night. The same villain would tear apart his life before he would wake up to find it all to be a terrible dream again.
Every single night, Voldemort would terrorize his dreams. He would watch helplessly as the Dark Wizard stormed into Godric's Hollow and tear apart his family. First, he would jump at the murderer, trying to stop him, but he would pass right through him. He felt utterly helpless as Sirius would come in, fearing for the life of his friends only to find Voldemort waiting for him when he entered the home. He screamed at Padfoot to turn around. He warned him not to enter the house. Sadly, James would watch once more as Padfoot's body fell gracefully to the ground following the green flash emitted form the end of Voldemort's wand, an expression of shock and fear permanently on his face. Remus would follow in shortly after. Every night, his gaze would go from the lifeless Sirius Black laying in the doorway to the very real Voldemort. He would draw his wand to defend himself, but it would be too late. As Sirius fell, so would he, their faces sharing the same look.
James would turn and yell at Lily. He would tell her to take Harry and run. Realization followed the sentence shortly after. She couldn't hear him. Just as Sirius and Remus hadn't heard him when he shouted the warning at them, she couldn't hear his desperate pleas either. Voldemort would ascend the stairs and James would throw himself in front of the doorway to stop the Dark Lord from entering his son's bedroom where his wife and child sat huddled in the corner. Lily would look up at the murderer with her bright green eyes and she would plead for him to spare her son, to take her life but spare the life of her precious angel. They trembled from fear, as if they expected the husband, the father to burst into the room at any moment and rescue them. No one came to their rescue, though. As the green light of death burst from the end of the Dark Lord's wand, James felt his heart tear into pieces.
Then, the Dark Lord would turn to him.
"You failed," he repeated. "You've failed your friends and your family. Do you think they'll ever forgive you?"
Once more, he would wake up, a cold sweat forming on his brow. Every night that dream came, and every night all the people that James cared about the most would die.
It was an endless cycle of death, and James feared that it would throw him into madness.
Remus was a fool. So Sirius thought as he walked away from the werewolf, heading anywhere as long as it would take his away from the aura left from the heated argument he had just left.
Was it really an obsession? Was the need for revenge going to drive him to the edge of sanity...or over it?
Nonsense. It was all rubbish. Sirius Black was never obsessed with anything. That's just not something he did.
Of course, Sirius Black never made dire mistakes that nearly killed his dearest friends. That had proved to be a very wrong statement.
With a heavy sigh, Sirius crossed the street and continued walking. A good walk would clear his head. After all, he lived with Remus. The tension if he ever went home would probably suffocate him. There were several hotels in the city. As the frustrated wizard contemplated the thought of going home that night, a sight caught his eye that was unmistakeable.
Sirius watched as a rat scurried unnoticed down the street, weaving in out of the pedestrians' legs. He had seen that rat far too many times to mistake that for anyone else. Bringing traffic to a screeching halt, the impulsive wizard darted across the road. When he reached the other side of the street, he noticed the rat was panicking.
He followed it into a nearby alley and drew his wand.
"Give it up, Wormtail! You can't run forever," exclaimed Sirius as he brandished his wand threateningly. "You're going to pay for what you did!"
This was the moment he had been waiting for. This was going to make everything right again. If he could just erase Pettigrew from existence, he could erase all the reminders of his horrible mistakes and the terrifying memories that plagued Prongs.
As the rat transformed into the traitor Peter Pettigrew, Sirius felt the world around them stop. He looked down at the short, round man. Wormtail had changed a lot since the last time any of the Marauders had seen him. Since he would be as old as the other Marauders, he could only be twenty like the rest of them. Looking at him, however, someone would have guessed him to be in his early thirties. The hair he had once had, so blond that it was almost colorless, was actually thinning and falling out. This was most likely due to the stress of living in constant fear.
He was right to be scared. The smartest thing he had ever done, or so Sirius thought, was run after he had betrayed the Potters. If being a Marauder should have taught him anything, it should have taught him that you never go against a Marauder unless you can handle the revenge.
As time slowed to a crawl and Sirius stared down at Peter, a wicked smirk formed on his face. Revenge was right.
"Sirius, it's good to see you old friend," said Peter, his voice nervous and shaking.
"Don't even dare speak that word to me again, you traitor! Did you really expect that you could do what you did and still expect to call me friend? What kind of fool do you take me for, rat?" yelled Sirius. It enraged him that such a foul creature could use the word 'friend' so loosely, as if it were some common term used to address simply anyone.
Sirius only had few who considered friends. They were the ones he was closest to. They were the people that he would go to the ends of the earth for.
Peter was not one of those people. There were no words within any language that could even begin to describe Sirius's hatred for such the beast that he saw before him.
There would be no mercy for rats.
Wormtail knew this. He looked at Sirius and he saw the grim, the large black dog that was his former friend's animagus form. He saw only death when he looked into the grey eyes of Sirius Black.
Fear struck him, and he became desperate. It wasn't death that Peter was so scared of. It was the wrath he had incurred. Sirius wasn't going to grant him a merciful and painless death. No, he was going to make sure that he suffered for what he had done.
Padfoot raised his wand and pointed it at Peter's heart.
Desperation rose within the intended victim. He knew that if he didn't do something fast, this would be the end. Peter's eyes darted around and he noticed there were people gathered at the bus stop. He had never been particularly smart, but he head learned a thing or two from his school years.
"How could you, Sirius?" screamed Peter. The people passing by couldn't help but stop and look at the two. "James Potter trusted you to be his secret-keeper and you sold him out to You Know Who!"
Sirius was too shocked by his words to notice that Peter had his wand behind his back. He was too shocked to even ponder what Peter was thinking.
The shock was not because Peter had the nerve to accuse him of such a thing. The shock came because of how true Sirius felt it was. In a way, he had betrayed James. His spiritual twin had trusted him to make the right decision. He had trusted his judgement and it nearly got him killed.
Anger followed. How dare that traitor have the nerve to accuse him of such a horrible act!
Before he could act, however, Peter seemingly exploded. Dust and debris flew everywhere as the ground below his feet began to shake and rumble. The concrete pavement cracked as the ground opened up. Sirius watched in awe as the great earth swallowed the innocent bystanders. He turned back and saw the only thing left of Peter. He crossed the alley and stood there, looking down at the severed finger.
People stared in shock and astonishment at the tragedy that had unfolded before them. The muggles couldn't explain what had just happened.
Sirius knew. It burst from him, and he couldn't stop it. The shock wore away and the bystanders were now watching the seemingly deranged wizard as he started laughing.
He continued laughing...even after the officials from the Ministry of Magic appeared on the scene.
That argument had been a horrible one, but was it enough to drive Sirius from home? Remus frowned as he paced the floor in the small living room. He was worried. Sirius hadn't returned home. Of course, Sirius could take care of himself. He felt guilty, though. Part of Lupin wished that he wasn't so hard on Sirius.
With a sigh of defeat, he collapsed in the chair in front of the fire. That's when he noticed for the first time that James had been watching him.
"What are you doing?" he asked with a frown.
James sighed, "You haven't heard yet?"
To be continued...
Author's Notes: Well, this one was a long one. Little nasty twist there, eh? Anyways, thanks to both of my reviewers for those great reviews.
athenakitty: Well, actually, none of those questions were answered, but I hope the chapter makes up for it.
brennqt13: Wow, I'm glad that I rock. Thanks!