Chapter 8

"I put the casserole that Viv made in the oven." said Danny when Martin finally emerged from his room. "People noticed you weren't eating much this week, not even burgers, be about 5 mins."

"I'll get some plates. You want a coffee?" asked Martin.

"Please."

Martin knew he had to talk to Danny sometime, he couldn't go on feeling the way he did, but he had no idea what he was going to say. He bought in the coffee and plates. He was very grateful for the food as he had skipped a few meals in the last week and he didn't really feel like cooking.

Martin pushed his empty plate away and picked up his coffee.

"Thanks, that was great" said Martin.

"To be honest Fitzy you looked like you needed feeding up."

"That obvious eh!"

"Oh yes." Danny decided to get straight to the point. "And I've got a feeling we have a problem." He looked up at Martin. "Have I done something to upset you?"

"Oh God Danny, I never meant for you to think that. It's nothing you've done honest, but..." Martin didn't know how to continue. "But it does concern you."

Danny was intrigued. "What?"

"Jack gave me your journal to read."

"I know." said Danny. "I knew somebody would have to read it. I used it to put the pieces together I guessed you would too. I'll bet it doesn't make pleasant reading, I'm sorry you had to read it."

Martin jumped to his feet.

"For God's sake Danny. I just had to read it, you had to live through it. When you told me about Norton, it was the tip of the iceberg. You never intended anybody to read it did you?

Danny shook his head.

"Nobody's ever read it, apart from us. After I wrote it I never went through it again, I've not talked about it to anybody, I just wanted to put it all behind me." said Danny sadly. "I don't know why I kept it."

"You listened to me going on and on about my father. Why didn't you just tell me to shut up, my life was a dream, yours was a nightmare." Martin looked over at Danny and saw Danny had a small smile on his face. Danny couldn't really understand why Martin was so wound up, things had turned out ok, but Martin was about to tell him.

"How the hell can you sit there and grin at me." said Martin exaggerating slightly. "Do you really think this is amusing? This is a really big deal to me, I had to read that damn book. You've been beaten and kidnapped, we had no idea where to find you, we thought you were dead. D'you know what that did to us?"

Danny looked suitably contrite. He hadn't really considered how everybody else had been affected by his disappearance, which considering his job was a little niave.

"I'm sorry, I knew it was hard it was for all of you, but I was just glad it was over." Danny got to his feet. Martin turned away from him, but Danny pulled him round to face him. "You're right I didn't want anybody to know what happened to me. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but that won't be a problem with you will it?"

Martin shook his head.

"I can't change my past any more than you can, to be honest I think we've done well." Danny struggled to find the words. "I don't remember much about what happened during those three days, but I knew somebody was looking for me. Then when I heard your voice I knew I was safe, the same at the hospital. We couldn't be there for each other in the past, but we can now. We are there for each other, when things go bad at work or when it gets more personal."

Danny pulled Martin into a hug, he didn't pull away. Patting Danny's back a couple of times before Danny pulled back. Martin flopped down on the sofa. Danny picked up his coffee and perched on the table in front of him.

"I was scared Danny. Scared I could lose one of the few people who actually gives a dam about me. Looking around your apartment and reading the book, I felt like I was betraying you." Martin shook his head, suddenly feeling guilty as he remember Danny had barely been out of hospital for twenty-four hours. "You managed to put all that behind you, why the hell can't I deal with it."

"I'm a few years ahead of you Fitz, you want to talk about the journal?" Danny wanted to help Martin come to terms with things, he wasn't used to seeing his calm controlled friend so wound up.

"No, if you can deal with this, then I'm sure as hell I can."

Martin made another coffee. The two friends sat and chatted for the rest of the evening, Danny stretching out on the other couch. They touched on incidents from their pasts, good and bad, both knowing now that if they needed to talk in the future, they had somebody who would be willing to listen. Martin smiled as Danny's eyes closed and he turned sideways on the couch. Not wanting to wake him, he pulled a throw over Danny, Martin shut off the main light and went to bed. The last few days had been tough on both on them, but they'd learnt things as well.

They were lucky to be part of supportive team and though the bonds were stretched some times they couldn't be broken.

The End