A Moment of Weakness

AN: This is a little thing I wrote after seeing 'Intruder'. I was wondering how Elizabeth would deal, if at all. So yeah, probably takes place the same day as they arrive back. It's un beta-ed, I'm afraid, so apologies for type-os and grammer and stuff. Oh, and this isn't a song-fic (don't worry) I was just listening to the song as I wrote this and thought the words migth be appropriate. Leave lots of reviews!

Disclaimer: One, two, better not sue!

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Well some things in this world,
You just can't change,
Some things you just can't see,
Until it's too late,
And baby, baby, baby,
When all your love is gone,
Who will save me?
From all I'm up against,
Out in this world?
-'Bright Lights', Matchbox Twenty

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"So, if we could send teams to these areas here," Elizabeth was marking up a map of Atlantis on her wall, "I'd like to know a little more about what's going on there… from what Zelanka's been telling me…" she trailed off, one hand going to the necklace around her neck. She wound her fingers through the chain uneasily, chewing her lip. Her eyes had gotten that far away look again…

"Elizabeth?" Rodney prompted, in the small audience of scientists assembled to hear her instructions.

Elizabeth started, her cheeks colouring slightly, "sorry. I'm… a little tired. So yes, if you could gather teams of four, with one military officer to every three scientists, and bring me your reports by Friday, okay?"

Quick nods of agreement, and the group hurriedly made their exit. They knew when their leader was in an odd mood, one that oughtn't to be messed with if it was at all avoidable.

Rodney, however, paused. He hovered in the doorway, while Elizabeth turned back to the map on the wall, her face blank once more. What worried him was that she hadn't even noticed he was still there. That was very unusual. As a person, Elizabeth was extremely spatially aware. Not to the same extent that Teyla was, but still, enough to know who was around her when.

If she was that distracted, then there was a problem.

"Elizabeth," he spoke softly, making her jump.

"Rodney?" She was focused again, no trace of that odd, little-girl-lost cloud hanging in her eyes only moments before.

"Um…" Rodney scratched distractedly at his arm. He didn't want to be right… but there was something familiar about the way Elizabeth was acting. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," now she looked puzzled, "why wouldn't I be?"

"I just…" Rodney struggled, took a deep breath, then plunged in, fully expecting to come out the other side with both his arms severed, "it's Simon, isn't it?"

He almost heard the shutters come down in her head. A resounding clang that made her flinch, visibly. Her face had lost all colour. She was wrenching at that necklace around her neck to the point where he was sure it would cut into her skin.

"I'm not much with the empathy thing," Rodney struggled, "but, let's face it, I've seen break ups, and… you haven't looked this miserable since the first time you were separated from him."

Elizabeth brought both hands up to her face, and shook her head violently, as if trying to shake away the pain she was now clearly in. Rodney promptly yanked the door to her office closed. She would not be happy if anyone saw her like this. He wasn't sure he wanted to see her like this… but, when you opened a can of worms, you had to expect at least a few to end up on your head.

"Elizabeth…" what, exactly, was he supposed to say? Clearly the man was a good for nothing two time loser who had never disserved her, but stating that fact right now didn't seem like the way to go. He desperately needed Teyla to miraculously turn up and save him. But the Athosian was being very unhelpful in that she was never anywhere when he needed her.

He could, however, feel himself get involuntarily indignant (verging on the genuinely furious) on Elizabeth's behalf, as she clearly wasn't quite there in the… what, 'grieving' process? Yet. So much for not doing empathy…

"I know this probably isn't very helpful," Rodney began, "but I could offer to get back onto the Deadalus and go and punch him for you. I mean, it would make me feel better… and I'm sure I could talk John into coming with me. He'd probably have to do most of the actual punching. But I could stand on the sidelines and shout insults. I'm really, much better at that sort of thing."

Her shoulders jerked. He wasn't sure if she was laughing or crying. But he was going to have to do something in the near future, because anyone could come walking through that door, any time now.

"Alright," he sighed, stepping forward, "come on."

To his surprise, it worked. Elizabeth stepped into him without any resistance. Her arms were still trapped up against her chest, her hands over her face, hiding the tears. Rodney, a little awkwardly, put his arms around her, and patted her back as soothingly as he could, wondering at what a weird assed day this had turned into.

He hadn't been able to sleep (a sort of jet lag to do with the time discrepancies between the Deadalus day-cycle and Atlantis), Zelanka had stolen his sandwiches, Sheppard had stolen his coffee, Beckett was still chasing after him for a flu shot, his bed sheets had somehow acquired sand during his three weeks absence, and now the leader of their expedition was sobbing pitifully into his chest.

The day just kept getting better.

Then Sheppard arrived. It couldn't be Teyla, could it?

Rodney couldn't make help me! gestures a John. The colonel would probably be as clueless as he was. As it was, Sheppard stood in the doorway doing a wonderful imitation of a fish for a good few seconds.

Did he have to do everything himself?

Rodney sighed, reached over Elizabeth, grabbed John's shirt, hauled him inside, and tapped the door shut again with a finger. No one was going to see Elizabeth like this. Well, himself and John excluded, apparently.

"What's going on?" John managed, after a few more seconds.

"Nothing," Rodney affected a smile with all the positivity of a salmon just fished out of the water by a hungry bear, and patted Elizabeth again, "slight moment of weakness here, that's all."

Elizabeth had stopped breathing. Rodney could feel her. She was holding her breath, because she knew if she drew breath it would shudder, and the sound of it would sound too close to crying for it to be worth it. She didn't want to cry in front of John? Interesting.

"Elizabeth, seriously, you have to breathe," he told her, over her head. She did, short and sharp. Impressively controlled, but still… unmistakably a sob.

"What's… wrong?" John asked, hesitantly.

"Moment of weakness," Rodney repeated, "she'll be fine in a while. I have this. Honest. Though if you know where Teyla is…"

"I'll find her," John turned round and headed straight back out of the door. He would know where to find Teyla, wouldn't he?

Elizabeth let out another breath. She'd taken his shirt into her fists and was twisting it at an alarming rate. She drew breath and let it out, her shoulders shaking.

"You're gonna have to tell me what to do," Rodney told her, "I'm not great at this stuff."

She was quiet for a few seconds. He felt her shift, resting her cheek against his shoulder. "Tell me it's okay," she said, sounding muffled.

"It's okay," he obliged.

"Now tell me how I'm better off without him anyway, and how you know it wont help at the moment, but eventually, I'll get over it, and you know I'll end up happier than him."

"You're better off with out him anyway, Elizabeth," Rodney recited, putting as much genuine feeling as he could into the words, "and I know this wont help at the moment, but, I guess, eventually you'll get over it. And you're going to end up happier than him. Promise. You're in Atlantis, and he's stuck on Earth. Of course you'll end up happier."

That seemed to make her laugh, and she sniffed, "nice improvisation."

"Thanks. Mom always said how I could have been an actor," Rodney, despite it all, managed to muster a little smugness. This really wasn't so hard.

"I'm never going to move past this, am I?" Elizabeth sounded even more muffled, "I'm like that. I can't let things go… I'm going to get stuck in this… this… thing… for the rest of my life…" she trailed off and began to cry again.

Where the hell was Teyla? "No, you'll be fine," Rodney told her, firmly, "Elizabeth, you're the strongest person I know. If you can't get over one idiot scientist then that pretty much screws up the rest of us, now doesn't it?"

"That's not helping, Rodney."

"Sorry."

"Oh!" now she was getting angry. He sincerely hoped she didn't start beating up his chest… "It burns me up! I should have… should have-"

"You didn't need to do anything," Rodney cut her off before she could get really worked up, and cause him a little pain, "you were here, advancing human-kind's frontiers. If Simon couldn't wait for you then… he clearly wasn't worth the effort."

She was quiet again. A good few minutes passed, as Rodney counted down the seconds, preying no one walked in. This was not a good position to be caught in by anyone else.

Elizabeth's breathing was alternating between ragged and too shallow for her own good. If she hyperventilated then he was really going to be in trouble… though, actually, it might be a viable alternative. A passed out expedition leader was much easier to deal with than an emotionally unbalanced one.

Then she seemed to calm down.

Her breathing evened out. Her shoulders relaxed. Her fingers loosened their grip on his shirt. Her felt one of her hands going up to scrub at her eyes. She sniffed.

"You know," her voice sounded much more level, "you're not really too bad at this, Rodney."
Rodney shrugged, "well, you know… needs must, I guess."
She snuffed again, then made a sound of thinly veiled disgust, "eugh. I need a tissue. I have to clean up. It hardly inspires confidence when your leaders all snotty and tear stained, does it?"

"I'm guessing not," Rodney reached over her to her desk and retrieved a box of tissues, "here."

"Thank you," she took a tissue and mopped herself up without moving away, dabbing neatly at her eyes, expertly sponging the streaks of mascara away. Rodney suddenly realised that this couldn't be the first time she'd had to do this. The difference was that, this time, someone had witnessed it.

"I'm sorry," she swallowed, taking a deep, shuddering sigh, the kind that always followed a crying fit, "sorry you had to… to…"

"It's okay," Rodney managed to be nonchalant, "you know, comes with the territory. No one's made of stone, all that stuff."

"You wont tell…" she suddenly sounded like a school girl just caught doing something wrong, "Rodney, you can't tell, I couldn't stand it if someone…"

"Promise," Rodney told her, "secret's safe."

"Thanks, Rodney."

She put her arms around him then, and hugged him tight. She'd never hugged him before. Well, there was that one time back in Antarctica when he'd grabbed her when she'd nearly fallen down that gulch, but that had been more necessity rather than anything grateful on her part. First time she'd smiled properly at him, though…

"You're good at hugging people, Rodney," Elizabeth remarked, a few seconds later.

Rodney looked down at her, "yes. One of my many, if lesser known, talents. Don't tell anyone."

"Promise."

It was at this point that Teyla chose to put her head around the door.

"You seem to be doing fine without me," she remarked, mildly.

"You took your sweet time!" Rodney snapped back.

Teyla shook her head and stepped inside, then reached back and dragged a somewhat awkward looking lieutenant colonel after her.

Teyla put a hand on Elizabeth's shoulder, "You are feeling well, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth took a deep breath and stepped away from Rodney, still dabbing at her eyes, "yes. Fine, thank you."

"That's good," Teyla smiled sagely, then added, "I don't suppose there is anything traditional done at a time like this to help a person… deal with what is past?"

"Not really," Elizabeth sighed, "what about you? What's done on Athos?"
Teyla got something of a wicked glint in her eyes, one which Rodney was only just beginning to recognise as such, "well, the traditional punishment for a man who abandons his long term partner is the forceful application of a foot to an area of his anatomy which may significantly curtail his chances of reproduction in the future."

Rodney choked.

Elizabeth tipped her head back and laughed, delighted.
John just shook his head, grimly, "talk about the hazards of an off-world relationship…"

"Alright," Elizabeth waved her hands, "much as this has been… fun… I think it may be time to get back to work. We have a city to run."

"Right you are, ma'am," John pulled a mock salute.

Elizabeth nodded, and swallowed. She looked paler than was normal, and her eyes were still bloodshot, but her shoulders were squared once more, that determined set of her jaw back in place.

A moment of weakness, in a string of a time were strength was the one constant. Rodney wondered how long it would be before she broke down again, or whether it happened constantly anyway, and she was just a better actor than he was.

"I'll see you at lunch," he said to her, as he left.

She nodded, "okay."

He closed the door, so he wouldn't have t see her lower lip begin to tremble again.