DISCLAIMER: ... who here actually thinks I own FMA? crickets chirp
AUTHOR NOTE: apperantly my second chapter's not showing up too well... arg. Oh well, enjoy chapter three. A lot of you probably figured it out already, didn't you:P Please read and review.
CHAPTER 3
When Roy Mustang woke up, he was bound hand and foot to a chair, gagged, and blindfolded. Also, for some strange reason, he had a massive headache…
"He's awake." Ed stated, the delight in his voice evident.
"Fuwawer?" Mustang garbled.
"Ah, Boss, I think it would be more excruciating if he could see what he's gotten himself into…"
"Why not?" mused Ed.
When the blindfold came off, Mustang looked around. He was in a…. church? What the hell? Fullmetal and Havoc were sitting in the pews to his left, looking FAR too smug. Glancing around, he noticed a priest standing a little ways off to his right. What was…?
Suddenly, organ music began to play. It was… THE WEDDING MARCH!
Mustang's eyes widened and he began to struggle. "Ooganu! Mnugitinmarud!"
Hawkeye walked down the isle, still in uniform, and instead of a bouquet of flowers she had a shotgun. She offered Roy a tight smile when she reached the altar. Thank God, Roy thought. At least the horrid music's stopped.
"Are you sure about this?" the priest asked. "He doesn't look willing…"
"You saw the marriage papers he signed." Ed argued. "And he's only tied to a chair because of medical reasons."
MEDICAL REASONS! Roy was fuming. If only he had his gloves on…
The priest still looked unsure, but he started the ceremony anyway. "We are gathered here today…"
Thus Roy Mustang sat tied up, unable to move or even scratch an itch, for a very long, very boring wedding ceremony.
"…in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" the priest looked at him expectantly.
He was going to shake his head, he really was! That is, until Hawkeye showed him her shotgun up close, and he found himself nodding his head before he knew it. The priest then repeated the horrible dirge to Hawkeye.
"I do," she stated grimly.
"Then I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." As the priest turned away, Roy swore he heard him mutter, "Damn, I need a beer." But then Hawkeye pecked him chastely on the lips. Then what he heard Hawkeye say next made him even more unhappy, if that was even possible.
"Sir, rule number one: No sex. Or I will shoot you. Rule number two: You will obey my every command. Or I will shoot you. Rule number three: No filing for divorce. Or I will shoot you…"