DISCLAIMER: The day I own FMA is the day that Santa Clause and the devil have a snowball fight in Hell.

CHAPTER 7

Riza Hawkeye was hot on her husband's heels. After she rounded a corner and saw no Roy, but instead a very nervous and embarrassed Alphonse Elric, she drew the logical conclusion. Let it never be said that Riza Hawkeye was stupid. Calmly drawing her gun, she aimed it squarely at Alphonse. "Hold it right there, sir."

Passing by in the hall at this time was Private Bob. Poor Bob happened to bored at the time, so he found this to be interesting. Since when was Alphonse Elric an officer? And, even if he WAS, why would Hawkeye hold him at gunpoint?

Al, of course, knew perfectly well what Hawkeye was talking about, but tried to play innocent. "Me, Lieutenant?" he asked, pointing to himself.

"No, not you, Alphonse. I'm talking to the person currently hiding inside that armor."

Bob decided at this point that Hawkeye was completely off her rocker—that or her pregnancy hormones had scrambled her brains. (little did Bob know that yes, Hawkeye's brains were Hormone Possessed, but that's beside the point.) How could there be ANOTHER person inside that armor?

"Don't even try to talk, sir, because the sound of your voice might send me over the edge, and I don't think that Alphonse would appreciate being shot at."

Bob agreed wholeheartedly. Forget Al, HE didn't want to get hit by the ricochets!

Sighing in defeat, AL moved as if to open his armor, then paused. "Um, Lieutenant Hawkeye…?"

"No, don't let him out here. In fact, you help me much more if you just keep him trapped in there for me. You WOULD like to help me, yes?" Hawkeye stroked her gun like it was a living creature and a beloved pet. Which, in her mind, it probably was. Scary thought.

Eyeballing her gun, Al gulped (metaphorically). "Of course, Lieutenant."

A muffled yell of "You Traitor!" could be heard from inside his armor.

Bob gaped. There WAS another person inside there! WHAT THE HELL!

Hawkeye's trigger finger looked like it was going into convulsions. "Don't talk to me sir!" she yelled. "My control could slip—and I'll kill you all! HEEYAHAHAHA!"

Studying Hawkeye's twitching eyebrows, trembling finger, and taking into consideration that she was a PREGNANT WOMAN who was LAUGHING MANIACALLY… Bob decided that a strategic retreat to the rear was in order. Bob turned tail and ran in the opposite direction screaming like a little girl.

Alphonse wanted to join Private Bob with all his heart and soul. However, there are just some things in this world that you don't disobey. One of these things, at least in her condition, is Riza Hawkeye.

She got her breathing under control and then stated, "Start walking towards the entrance, Alphonse. And don't let my husband out." As they were walking, Hawkeye said conversationally, "You see, while normally hiding inside your armor would be a great hiding spot, it could easily be turned into an inescapable trap. Thus, we find ourselves in this situation. In truth, Alphonse, I should be very grateful to you. This way, I have a method of getting Roy home without chasing him down and knocking him out."

Al's reply was slightly uncertain. "Um, you're welcome?"

They were just outside Headquarter's main gates when just behind them Ed came running up. "AL! Were have you been? I've been looking all over for you!" He skidded to a stop when he saw Hawkeye.

"Edward," she said. "I'm borrowing your brother's services. And," she added, a glint in her eye, "if you want to live, you will go and find Lieutenant Havoc, and both of you will join Al and I at the Colonel's house."

Ed didn't like the tone Hawkeye's voice had. He had a sudden bad feeling. Cautiously, because he didn't want her gun in his face, he said, "I don't know where you live…"

Hawkeye started marching down the street, Al in her wake. "It's not far, Edward. Just follow the screams."

AN: Yeah, I know, not much going on in this chapter… in Chapter 8 hopefully I'll get around to explaining where this is going to a small extent… I've got the beginning of 8 done… working on it. Technically, it SHOULD be done by now, but I've been working a lot recently. The workload's not letting up anytime soon, but I've been writing bits and pieces when I get my 15 min breaks… so I'll get that up soon as possible… Please be patient. :)