here it is, the long-awaited next chapter! ... Why? Why does no one care? Just kidding! I know you care! In fact, I wasn't sure if I should update and then...shabaam! (Shabaam is a word owned and operated by the Prince. Wait, you don't...I SAID NOTHING) I get four wonderful reviews. I was so happy, I had to update! I was gonna update, but Dnomyar persuaded me. Thanks buddy! Oh yes, beware of OOC-ness! stamps your hand You have been warned!
on wit da SHOW!
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"I can't believe you agreed to this." Navi said. She looked at Link again. He was sitting on a gravestone, looking about as pissed off as he knew how to. Why, you may ask? Well, he was wearing Tani's clothes. Navi broke out in giggles again.
"Shutup."
"But you l-look so, so pretty! Haahahahahaha!" She laughed and flew off.
"I'm gonna kill them both. I should've taken the ghost." Tani had come up with the ingenious plan. They would switch clothes. She had reasoned that she was faster and not afraid of ghosts, and if all else failed, she would just steal the Hookshot. Link had been waiting nearly half an hour.
"If somebody sees me in this I'm just going to die." What a drama queen.
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Tani had just finished the race and was doing a victory dance.
"Booya! Eat that, ghost man! Muaha!" She yelled, jumping up and down. Dampe just stared at her...er...him. "Eh...sorry, I'm competitive." Tani said. But that wasn't the reason Dampe was staring. As Tani was jumping, one leg of the tights had slipped and Dampe had seen her leg. The problem was that she shaves her legs, and Dampe thinks she is Link. .
"Huh? Oh, don't worry about it. I've been shaving I mean saving this Hookshot for the winner of my game. It is easy to use. It even has a little razor I mean laser that points out where it will shoot." He said, looking away and blushing. Tani smiled.
"That's was fun. I gotta go get to dead I mean bed now. Now that I have the Hookshot, I have deceased I mean increased my skills." Both stood in silence. Well nearly silence. Tani was barely suppressing a laugh. She got control of herself and looked at Dampe.
"Well, bye then!" she yelled and skipped off. She looked behind her and saw Dampe looking at her. She burst into laughter and sped up.
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Meanwhile, Link's worst nightmare was coming true. No not the one about bunny slippers and peanut butter. Oh no. That would be far too simple.The one about being seen in Tani's clothes. Yeah. He had been hiding as well as he could, but a kid of about 6 or 7 had found him.
"Excuse me, Miss?" The child had laughed. Link jumped.
"Who me?"
"Well you're the only Miss I see." He said, trying to be serious.
"Listen kid, I'm not a girl."
"Really?" he looked interested.
"Really really." Link said. The kid narrowed his eyes for a moment.
"I challenge you to a duel, you scurvy cross-dressing mongrel!" he yelled. He drew a plastic sword from his belt and glared at Link crazily. I'm mean like Link had just eaten an Octorok. I'm serious. This kid is completely nuts.
"I'm not gonna fight you kid."
"You yellow-bellied land lover! I'll have you, long shanks!" he cried and charged. Link blocked him with one arm. Navi heard this and flew over.
"Link? What's going on?"
"Some crazy kid is attacking me!" Link yelled, motioning to the flailing child.
"I am not just some crazy kid, I'll have you know!" He said, standing up.
"Oh really, who are you then?" Link asked skeptically. The kid drew his sword and struck a pose.
"I am Barafin! Th-" he was cut off by laughter from Link and Navi.
"Hahahahahahahahahaha! Y-your name i-is, hahaha, Barfin? Hehehe..." Link laughed.
"No of course not! My name is Barafin."
"HAHAHA!"
"Stop this insanity now! That's it! Duel dog! Taste my...sweet potatoes!" he proceeded to throw numerous sweet potatoes at Link. Which only made him laugh harder. The kid was furious. Link was dying from laughter when Tani arrived. She looked at the kid and then at Link. She gasped and kicked Link, which made him fall over.
"Link, don't laugh at him!" She said and then bowed to the kid. Link now had all the wind knocked out of him and it took him a second to catch his breath. (What, what do I do? Sorry, inside joke.)
"What, this crazy little kid?" Link asked, pointing to the child who was now chasing Navi with a stick.
"Link! That's the prince! The freakin prince, you idiot!"
"Huh?" Zelda has a brother?"
"Yah! Well, you were out of it for 7 years, so, damn, you don't know anything do you?" Link looked offended, but he didn't have a chance to reply. "He's the King's second child. He was born right before Ganondork took over. He's Prince Barathin." Tani said. Link sniggered. "What's so funny?"
"When he said who he was, he said his name was Barafin." Link said, suppressing his laughter once more.
"Hmm. He must have a speech impediment. Maybe that happened when he went crazy too."
"Huh?"
"Oh. When he was littler, he fell out of the castle, from like the fifth story, into the moat. People say the fish tried to eat him. He went a little insane, and I guess he can't even say his own name right. Poor kid."
"Aack! Tani, help me!" Link yelled. Barathin was beating him senselessly with an onion. "Help!"
"No you deserve this for laughing at a speech impediment." Said Tani looking disgusted "So Prince Barathin why are you here anyway?"
"I was sent here by my sister to train with the hero of Time, and don't tell me, it's this guy" Barathin looked at the swirly-eyed hero lying on the ground.
"Yah, that would be him." Tani said sadly. "So basically, Zelda sent you here so Link could be your body guard?"
"...Basically."
"Right." Tani nodded and kicked the fallen hero. "Link, are you ready to go?" He sat up and blinked.
"Yeah. Uhm, where are we going?" He asked.
"I don't know, where do you wanna go?" Barathin answered.
"I don't know, where do you wanna go?"
"I don't know, where do you wanna go?"
"I know!" Tani yelled. "As long as we're in Kakariko Village, we should head up the mountain.
"Why?" Link and Barathin asked.
"So we can visit the Great Fairy, duh." Tani replied.
"Alright, let's go. But, uh, Tani?" Link asked.
"What Link?"
"Can we switch our clothes back?"
"No."
"What do you mean no!"
"I like these clothes."
"They're mine!"
"Fine." Tani rolled he eyes. "Baby."
"I'm not a baby!" Link pouted.
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Our heroes had swapped back their clothes and were walking through Kakariko Village, headed for the gate. Unfortunately, they had to find Barathin first, as he had run off in search of 'treasure'.
"Where the hell did that little punk go?" Link asked irritably.
"Oh, Link. Such language!" Tani scoffed with her hand over her mouth. She ruined this effect by giggling madly. "I think I'm having an influence on you."
"I'm gonna kill that kid." Link was irritable due top the fact that he had been subjected to wearing girls clothes and now had to look after Zelda's kid brother. And he is a baby.
"I'm not a baby!"
Yes, you are. On with the story. Tani and Link were looking for the Prince, when they were spotted by some guards.
"Can we help you with something?" They asked dully. Tani hid her face, which drew attention to her. The guard seemed to recognize her. "You there, girl, halt!" Tani paled and took off running. "It's the FIRE CAT!" the guard yelled. This exclamation caused Tani to run faster and leap atop a building. The call also brought several other guards, who promptly surrounded the building.
"We've got her this time men!" the apparent captain of the guard yelled. Several of the men smirked and one called out.
"So ya wench, you've decided to come out in the light? Bit more dangerous round here than in the darkness, isn't it? Hahaha..." He gloated. Link looked at poor Tani. She didn't look too happy. Link decided he had to do something. He made to go towards the building, but before he made it there, he was spotted by that first guard.
"That man was seen with the thief! He must be in league with her!" the guard yelled. A few of the guards surrounded Link.
"Navi, help!" He yelled. The fairy was nowhere to be seen. "I'm..."
"...dead." Tani said. She saw the guards all around her, and she saw Link get captured. "Oh well," She sighed "I'll find some way out. I could just get out right now, but I gotta save Link too. What a bother that boy has turned out to be."
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Our two heroes sat in what was obviously a rarely used jail cell. The town wasn't used to having prisoners, so they only even had one cell. The two were debating a way out of this mess.
"C'mon! Just use one of those lil bombs, and KABOOM! We're outta here!" Tani was trying to persuasde link to blow up the wall of the jail cell. It wasn't going very well.
"Blowing things up is not always the answer! We have to think of a more...diplomatic way out of here."
"Like what?"
"Well, it was a mistake anyway, wasn't it? Surely you aren't this 'Fire Cat' they were talking about. Right?" He added, looking at Tani. She turned away and didn't speak. "You're not serious."
"I had to make a living somehow. It was so easy to steal from these people. And it was fun." She added as an afterthought.
"You can't be serious! You stole to make a living?" Link asked in disbelief. Sure this girl was crazy and admittedly bit dangerous, but a thief!
"Oh please Link. Not everyone is a little goody two-shoes like you. We can't all be like that." She said. He still looked stunned. Was it really that big of a deal to him? "Look, it's not like I stole big stuff! Not very often anyway. I just stole little things, here and there. It got more and more fun every time, because these idiots finally realized what was going on. So I let myself be seen a few times. I only ever came at night, and I wore all black. But, I didn't wear a hat. I felt like I owed them some clue. Then I got my nickname." She paused and grinned mischievously.
"So you started messing with them. For the heck of it? Man, yer crazier than I thought. So they saw yer hair, and that's why they called you Fire Cat. But why Cat...?"
"Well I landed on my feet, duh! And my hair wasn't the only reason for 'Fire'. I set things on fire from time to time. That was accidental though!" She added, seeing the look on Link's face.
"Sure it was. But anyway, why did you attack here so much? Didn't you raid other villages too?"
"Well, yah. But this one was closest to my s-" She clapped her hands over her mouth suddenly, obviously having said too much. Her eyes were wide. "Dammit." She murmured.
"What? What were you gonna say?" Link asked curiously. This wasn't the first time she'd shut up suddenly. And it was probably important. Link decided to let it drop for now though. He changed the subject back to escaping.
"Well "Fire Cat". We still need to get out of here. What should we do?" So for 5 more mins, several more terrible escape plans were discussed and refuted, including one that had Link dressing up as a chicken.
"How would that help?" He asked incredulously.
"Well, it would cheer me up!" Tani yelled. Link just stared at her. "What? It'd be funny!" Link just rolled his eyes.
"We need to think of a real plan here lady!" Link yelled. It looked like they were going to be in here forever at this rate...But just when all hope seemed lost...
Nothing happened.
(Hahaha...just kidding!)
No she's not. Nothing happened.
do do do, do do do...
twitch twitch
Angry mob: Get on with it!
(Okay, okay!) Just when all hope seemed lost...
"C'mon there, yer free to go." A guard spoke, unlocking the cell door.
"What, why?" Link asked. Tani elbowed him.
"Who cares why? We're outta here!" She yelled, grabbing Link's arm and pulling him along behind her.
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Link and Tani walked away from the police station (well, what else would it be?) feeling quite lucky.
"Thanks for getting us out Barathin." Link said, looking at the small boy.
"Well of course he got us out! He's our friend!" Tani said, hugging the young prince. Said prince was beaming and puffing out his chest.
"So how'd you get us out exactly?"
"Well, I am the prince."
"Which means you lied to them." Tani said, smiling. The small prince stumbled a bit.
"Eh...what I did was...er..."
"S'okay kid. You got us out and that's all that counts."
"Yah...all that...counts..." Barathin spoke with a shifty-eyed look.
"You call that a shifty-eyed look?" Tani asked as though she doubted the so called shifty-eyed look. "He just looks to one side over and over again! He's supposed to look from side to side! Like this!" Tani proceeded to demonstrate proper shifty-eyed technique. As Tani instructed the young prince, Link thought about their predicament.
"So, we're going back to the Forest Temple now?" Link asked.
"There, right and left, right left...What Link?" Tani asked.
"Are we going to the Forest Temple now?"
"Uh no. We decided to hit the Fire Temple as long as we're here." Tani spoke.
"We decided?"
"I decided then."
"I thought you said we were just gonna see the fairy."
"Not very flexible are you? Barathin, those rocks never did anything to you." Tani said, looking over to the prince.
"I wasn't...YOU SAW NOTHING!"
"C'mon, let's get a move on. S'just up the mountain." Tani said lightly. O.O Link just stared at her in disbelief.
"Just up the mountain?"
"Mmm-hmm!"
"You make it sound small!"
"Oh don't be such a baby!" Tani said off-handedly. She and Barathin began to make their way up the trail going up Death Mountain. Link just shook his head in defeat and followed them.
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"Hmm, d'you think she'll be able to finish the job?" Mused a woman that sported countless dark braids. Her acidic green eyes held a rather bored expression.
"I am not sure. She has not been following the plan as she should be. It took her far too long to retrieve the hookshot. And now she is deterring from the path to...'hit the Fire Temple'." The violet haired woman paced back and forth, causing her long white skirt to flutter. She stopped and looked at her companion sharply. "I've been meaning to ask...why on earth are you dressed as a dorko queen?" She asked, motioning to the dramatic forest green gown and silver crown.
"Because...I am the Queen of the Kokiri!" She said dramatically, twirling her jeweled scepter.
"You've given yourself a title have you? Nice."
"You may be the ruler of Hyrule, but...ruler, Hyrule, ha ha that's cool..." She trailed off. Her friend arched an eyebrow.
"You were saying?"
"Huh? Oh yah! You may be ruler of Hyrule, but I am the Queen of the Kokiri. And there's nothin you can do about it!" She finished, sticking out her tongue.
"You do know that all your subjects are kids and that you rule a wood right?"
"It's a forest, and they are magic! You know that, Lynnara!" She said, annoyed.
"Alright, alright." Lynnara relented. She tightened the ribbons on her ice blue top. "I wonder, Minuette, whether our little Tani will be able to leave the hero when the time comes. I think we may need to intervene."
"Uh-huh. Look, did you see my bag of chips? I lost 'em again." Minuette asked idly, obviously not paying attention.
"Tani took them." She replied without missing a beat. Her friend jumped to her feet, a manic glint in her eye.
"That's it. We're gonna go find that loser right now."
"I was hoping you'd say that." Lynnara muttered, grabbing a floor length white coat. "Let's be going then. Hmm I wonder if we should tell Kamaru we're coming."
"Nah, that'd ruin the surprise."
"Indeed." And with that, the two women turned into balls of light and sped off in the direction of Death Mountain.
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Gasp! Have we just had a scene comprising only of the villains? I believe we have. Wasn't it great? It's about time they start playing a bigger part. And that was only two of 'em. C'mon, doesn't anyone have a clue about what these chix0r are up to? Or should I say were up to? Or...both? C'mon, anyone?
Duck: Quack.
horrific gasp How did you know!
Anyway, sorry about the long wait, I hope to have another chapter soon, but you never know...do not underestimate the power of a review. l6er!