Hiya! Sowwy I haven't updated in so long, I'm in a MANGA CONTEST!!!!!!!!! (If I win, Rising Stars of Manga #4, look for Warwood Green.) So I've been racing to meet the deadline. Also, I've had the worst case of (DA DA DUM) WRITER'S BLOCK!!!! (noooo!!!! The evilness!!!!) Anyhoos, I got more reviews! So far, the Ranks of the Mighty include: Me, DBZHobbit, Hiei's fiancée, Neonicole 76, Fancy Name Not Available, QOL & My friend Merlin who didn't review, but told me he liked it . I'm the Chief Claymore-Wielder because I like big swords & Hiei's fiancée is the General because she asked . Come, Mighty Ranks, let's make Kaiba read the disclaimer!

Kaiba: Ok, that's it. I am not reading any more dmn disclaimers!!!!!!

Ranks of the Mighty: Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! (brandish swords)

Kaiba: (looks at all the scary people waving swords at him) OO

ElfKing does not own Yu-Gi-Oh or any other copyrighted material in this fic.

Ranks of the Mighty:

ElfKing: You forgot the "if I did, I would" part

Kaiba: But that's nasty!!!!

ElfKing: I wrote it, so you have to read Censor Guy: You're treading on thin ice in this fic already. It is a

PG-13 story after all.

ElfKing: Ok Kaiba, you can skip that bit.

Kaiba: (under his breath) we can thank Ra for that!

Ranks of the Mighty: You say somthin'? (brandish swords again)

Kaiba: OO Eep! Um.. I was just getting to the warnings. "Warnings: Swearing, Script Format,"Oh no, not more yaoi!

ElfKing: I don't see what you're griping about, there was hardly anything in the last chapter.

Kaiba: SO?!?! It still could've been me!!!!!!!

ElfKing: coughhomophobecough

Kaiba: WHAT?!?!?!?! :O

ElfKing: Nothing, just a little cough, sowwy.

Kaiba: It BETTER be!!!!! (Stomps off in such a huff that not even the Ranks of the Mighty could stop him.)

Oh well, we lost him, on with the ficcy!

Seto Kaiba hated stairs. He utterly despised them. He hated everything about them. The dust. The stone. The cobwebs. The mold. The damp.

He was on step 532. He wondered how many stairs to the top. "Probably 5,000" he spat bitterly into the dust. "These d-mn stairs probably haven't been climbed in a 1,000 years."

"Well, at least this gets me away from all the dirt." He thought. "Although this dust is no substitute. There was never any dust back home. Or dirt. Everything was kept immaculate. I always thought that was a little strange. I mean, how many people spend their lives cleaning everything? Glad I'm not one of those bozos. I could have been.

"What if Gozaboro had never lost that game of chess? Where would Mokuba & I be? Get a hold of yourself Kaiba. There's no use for idle speculation. But then again, there's not much else to do around here. I would plan out the stock portfolio for next month, but I don't know how long I've been gone, when I'll get back. It would probably be obsolete by the time I got back.

"D-mn it! Why me?! It could have been any moron that ended up in this dump! Maybe not, though. What if this was meant for me? Come now Kaiba, you know better than this. Next you're going to start believing in all those ancient Egyptian fairy tales that Yugi & Ishizu are feeding you.

"Gee, I wonder where Yugi is right now. Maybe it's been so long that he's forgotten about me. What if everyone has forgotten about me? What if I've been declared legally dead? Who will get KaibaCorp? Probably Mokuba. He would never forget me.

"What if this is all a dream, & I'm lying in some hospital, comatose? Then I'd be no better than that "Sora" boy that I heard about on the news is. I heard that he fell into a coma playing a game. The doctors say that radiation was the cause. Is it possible that I have been exposed to unhealthy amounts of radiation due to unsafe new technology? I'll have to look into that when I get back, wake up, whatever.

"I'm probably near the top now. The sooner I get to the top & do whatever I'm supposed to, the sooner I can get the h-ll out of this crazy nightmare. I probably have gone up 1,000 stairs by now. If this is a dream, I shouldn't be so tired. Maybe dreams are different when you're in a coma. I wouldn't know. It's been a long time since I jumped into the sea. I can hardly remember. I had jumped out the window, I was cut & bleeding badly. Falling, falling..... Then cold water splashed onto my face. Cold water everywhere. Darkness. No dreams. Nothing. Then I was on a beach, perfectly fine. No cuts or anything. It was if I had drowned in that cold, cold, ocean, & some heavenly being had given my life back to me. Or maybe I had started a new life, one that had been inside me all along.

"Kaiba, these hallucinations are starting to mess with your head! There is no such thing as extra lives! You have to concentrate on reality! Or what little realism there is there is in this crazy place." He touched the dusty stone wall.

"This is not real." He said aloud. "Or is it?" He wanted to think. "It looks real enough. It feels real.

"That's enough!! I am the master of illusions! I know what is real & what isn't!!

This is just a messed up fantasy world brought on by radiation!" A little voice from absolutely nowhere said "but radiation doesn't do that!" Kaiba ignored it.

"All I have to do is remember that this is a dream world & hopefully I can make it back alive, or at least not raving mad.

I wish there were a window up here. Then I could know how much time has passed. Imaginary time, that is. I wonder whether time has passed at all. It certainly has in the real world. Just how many weeks have I lost dreaming? Months, even. Years!" He was coming to the top of the tower.

Hey, is that a door?" He tried it. It was locked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It's pink bubble time.

FGF: Hi, sweetie! Did you miss me?

Kaiba: Just give me the friggn ' key.

I KNOW you have it.

FGF: Oh alright. You win. Here.

FGF huffily handed a pink heart-shaped key to Kaiba & flew off. "Eww, pink. Well, now I can get on with my life." He tried the key. It fit. He walked into what looked like a large, fluffily decorated bedroom. He swept back the lacy, lacy, curtains to find............. A somewhat pretty girl, lying on the pinkest bed he ever saw. "AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! THE PINK!! IT BURNS!!!!!" Kaiba shielded his eyes. "Ahhh.... that's better. Fairy Godfather, what do I do now?!" Never fear, pink bubble is here.

FGF: Oh this room is just fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Isn't it, darling?

Kaiba: I'm trying not to barf.

FGF: Oh come on, isn't it just precious? In fact, you would look perfect in a matching pink outfit..................

Kaiba: OO

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!!!!!!

FGF: coughhomophobecough

Kaiba: There it is again!!!! :O

ElfKing: Why do you always have that funny expression when you hear that?

FGF & Kaiba: Hey you're the author, not a character!! What are you doing in the story?!

ElfKing: (Disappears.)

Kaiba: Just tell me what to do now....

FGF: Hey, who is that girl on the bed? Like, OMG!! It's the wrong tower!!!!

You could hear Kaiba's screams of agony from 500 miles away.

Hiya! It's ElfKing again! I couldn't resist putting a little .hack crossover in there. If you're really smart & read allot of weird fantasy books, you'll be able to spot another crossover. Heh heh, I'll probably be the only one who will ever know, aside from Merlin, of course :). Oh Well. R&R, flames will roast flamer's favorite charries. See you next chappie!!

the ElfKing