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Chapter two-Disbelieving (Lil's POV)
I tear heart open; I sew myself shut.
My weakness is that I care too much
Scars remind us that the past is real
I tear myself open, Just to feel.
Papa Roach, Scars
Here I am, when I should be sitting in science complaining, waiting outside of the principal's office. I don't understand when everything started, when Kimi told me she liked Phil or when Phil tried out for basketball, immediately becoming a jock after making the team. I can't believe that Phil and Kimi were actually physically fighting. I can't even believe Kimi would even fight after she became a straightener. Kimi and Phil fighting, I just can't get that picture out of my mind.
I see Tommy coming out of the office.
"What did he say, Tommy?" Chuckie asks. I don't get to listen to what they say because the next thing I hear is, "Lillian Deville? The principal will see you now…" coming from the secretary's mouth.
I enter the office and Pangborn tells me to sit down. I wait cautiously while he looks at my chart.
"My, you're quite the opposite of your twin." He comments.
Hah. He has no clue.
"Who do you think is at fault for this battle?" I ask, eager to know.
"It's hard to tell. I don't know all of the details of this brawl, but that's why you're here. Can you tell me if anything strange has been going on with you're brother? Or Kimi Finster for that matter?"
I shift in my seat.
"Oh man, where do I start? Phil became a jock, Kimi became a straightener, and I'm stuck in the middle like the Oreo's cream filling. They've both changed a lot. Phil is barely disgusting as he used to be. Kimi made a complete turnaround from Tomboy to popular prep. I just kept hearing from Kimi about…"
"About what? And what are these straightener kids?"
"Well, all straightener girls are the preppy popular friends. Kimi is one of them. She just kept telling me about how much she liked my brother. She's been telling me everything." I explain
"Oh. I've been looking in her file and I see she has been meeting with the guidance councilor weekly. Now, if Kimi tells you anything and everything, what are these meetings about?" Pangborn raised an eyebrow and gave me a knowing look.
I had no clue.
She never told me.
"Sir…she didn't tell me." I said honestly.
"Well, maybe I should have her talk to you instead."
"NO. I want to know now." I pressed
"Well take a deep breath because this may shock you." Pangborn inhales.
I do as he says and nod.
"She, is a, well how would you kids say it today, cutter."
For those five seconds, I lost my breath, almost passed out, tears sprang to my eyes, and I just felt like I needed to know why.
"Oh. my. gosh." I breathe, disbelieving what I just heard.
"Listen, you shouldn't have found out this way. I shouldn't have told you since you have to deal with your brother and everything else that is happening. I guess that is all for now. I want you to head straight to the guidance councilor when you leave here. Tell her that Principal Pangborn sent you. Don't worry. Please, just send in Kimberly's brother." Pangborn orders.
I leave the office in tears. A cutter? She never told me. It's way too unrealistic.
"Lil. What's wrong?" Chuckie inquires.
"About
Kimi, Did you know? What she was doing to herself?"
"What are
you talking about? Tell me."
"Chuckie, you're not going to believe me when I tell you this. Kimi cuts."
"Cuts what? Class?"
"No, seriously cuts herself. Like razors and bleeding." I say seriously.
Chuckie just sits there; starring and crazy thoughts are going through his head.
I walk away, hearing Chuckie's name being called for him to go into the office. Instead of going straight to the guidance councilor, I head into the girls' restroom. I run my hand through my hair, lean against the wall, and start crying.
"Are you ok?" a soft voice asks. I recognize the voice from way back when, and through my blurry tears, I see who it is. Angelica.
"Not now, but maybe in the future." I answer. I'm in shambles now.
"What happened to you? You look like someone just ran over your puppy. Don't worry; I'll listen." Angelica reassures.
I wipe my eves and say, "Kimi got into a fight."
"WHAT?" she practically screams
"Oh, it just gets better. Guess who she was fighting with."
"I dun-no, who?"
"My brother." Angelica's eyes widen and her jaw drops.
"Yep, unbelievable. I know. I have no clue what happened, and the next thing I know I'm sitting in Pangborn's office hearing something unbelievable."
"Wow. That's really harsh. What was the unbelievable thing Pangborn said?"
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and sputtered,
"Kimi's a cutter. She goes to the guidance councilor once a week. I really don't understand why, but my guess is that a bit of it could be because of Phil. She's liked him since she was, like, seven. I think it finally got to her."
"Her knee." Angelica murmurs
"Excuse me?" I ask, confused.
She braces herself and says, "We were playing basketball the other day at Savannah's house, and I saw her really cut up knee, and she said she got it from falling off her bike."
"Huh. What really gets me is why. Why she never told us that she cuts. I don't get why she would hide it from everyone. Did you know Pangborn wants me to go to the guidance councilor now? I'm not crazy. There are worse crazy people at our school." I fess. Man, I never imagined being in the girls' bathroom at school talking about Kimi being a cutter to Angelica. Much crazier things have come to mind. Especially a dream I had with Tommy in it, but that's not the point.
"Lil? I get what you are saying. Savannah is crazy, and I don't even get why she is my friend. By the way, do you want to sit with us at lunch? It'll be fun, I promise. You can bring Chuckie and Tommy, too." She says, then continues,
"Hey, Lil? I hear that you like my cousin. Don't worry, it was Kimi that told me, but I just want to give you a word of advice. Don't ever give him anything with hot-sauce on any of your dates. He's allergic." She smiles.
We say our goodbyes and head off on our own. I know that everything will be ok, but I still am having my problems with everything else.
I knock on the guidance councilor's door. Since she is new; as new as this month; I don't even know her name.
"Please, sit down. Now, I'm guessing you don't even know my name. It's Miss. Kantian. I would like you to tell me who you are and why you are here."
"Well, my name is Lillian Marie Jill Deville, my friends call me Lil, and I guess I'm here because my best friend got into a fight with my brother." I explain.
Miss Kantian walks over to the file cabinet and asks, "Your friends name?"
"Kimi Finster."
"Oh, I see." She comes to the file she was looking for and pulls it out,
"This makes a lot of sense. I have been seeing Kimi since I started working here."
"Really? What can you tell me about why she cuts?" I request
"Whatever Kimi tells me is kept confidential. You should know that. You should talk to her, but seeing how you likely won't get to see or talk to her for the next three days, I don't think she will mind if I tell you a bit. You see, Kimi was sent here when, amazingly, your brother found out about her cutting. She kept it private to everyone except Phil and me. I never suspected she wouldn't tell her friends." Miss Kantian
"She didn't even tell her brother. Why?"
"Well, I don't understand why she didn't tell him. In one of my meetings with her, she mentioned that her brother was becoming distant to her. That could be why. Otherwise, I don't understand why."
"Why do you think Phil and Kimi would fight? Besides the fact that Kimi likes Phil, I mean."
"It could've been because Phil provoked Kimi. I've seen it before. There has been many times before when I've seen people getting into fights because someone over heard someone else talking badly about another person. Sometimes it has even been that the boy punches the girl. I've seen it before. Guys violate the 'I'm not allowed to punch a girl' rule. Now, I think I've told you enough. I want you to get back to class, and relax. What I don't want you to do are get in the middle of Phil and Kimi's struggle. You're almost thirteen; I can only imagine what goes on inside you and your classmates' minds. The next time you talk to Kimi, please don't be hard on her. No one else wants to see her cut. It's been a pleasure meeting you. I'm going to guess I will see how you and your brother compare when I see Phil. Principal Pangborn wants to see you back at his office now." The councilor concludes. Oh my, this is one hell of a day.
Whoa! Kimi, a cutter? Even I didn't know I was gonna throw that in! The main question here is why? Why does Kimi cut? Why hasn't she told anyone? Those questions will be answered in the next few chapters.
The idea for this chapter came from my school, when we found out there was 28 cutters in our grade. I'll update soon! R&R!
IhearU!
