Foxglen: final chapter
A.N.L: Talk about your slacking! Here we are, all set to write the final chapter, and we stall. It's not even like foxglen won't continue, with the possibility of a webcomic as well...shesh are we bad or what?
"Hey guys, wait up all ready!" shouted Yuske from down the road. "There's no reason to rush off to Genki...after all she'll never let us here the end on this one. 'They were right under you noses the whole time, dimwit!' God, why do we even have to tell her?"
"In case they go after her next..."
"Oh we wouldn't want that, now would we..."
"Hey...OOOOOFFFFFF!"
"What th...!"
"So what you got on this big mofo bad ass?" said the gangster on tv.
"...yeah, what he said" chirped Red from her perch on the counter as she dug out snacks from the gang.
"Well..." Black started, passing out soda, "He's an enigma..."
"What's that?"
"It's like a puzzle"
"Ooo I like puzzles!"
"You cut up your last jigsaw to make it fit..."
"Hey, if it works..." Shadow muttered.
"Shut up and let me finish..." sighed Black exasperated. "As I was saying, there isn't any information on him on the net, and most of our spy network is in the dark on this one."
"Shadow's always's in the dark..."quipped Red unching out of her reach.
Snorting, Crow asked, "What of sending someone to infiltrate?"
"Well, all the guys we sent kinda came back in pieces, and the girls were all too creeped out to stay..."
"I made shish-kabobs!" The fiery wolf yelped, "Want some?" she pulls one off the grill.
"...Please tell me that those aren't what I think they are...?" Death asked, "cause, that's low...even for you..."
"Don't knock'um till you try um."
"AHEM! As I was saying...this guy's pretty allusive," Black growled around a kabob, "All we really know if his name is Max, and he's a relative of Chris's."
"So what do we do?" asked Crow, "let the Sprit detective and his gang rot?"
"Hell YAH!"
"Uh, Death... you do know Boton wasn't caught, right?"
"What? DAMMIT!"
"Well I think that we should free them." stated Black, rather pompously.
"Your only saying that because they took Kurama!"
"Your point?" she looked around, "Hey, were's Chris?"
"Oh, he and Hiei are at six flags, and therefore totally out of the loop, as usual.." Shadow finished voice trailing off.
"Oh boy wonder if Hiei'll care if his teammates die?"
"Donno...but we should rescue them just in case, I mean the dude has Kristen too and all..." Jeff sighed, coming into the kitchen. "OOO Kabobs!"
"WHAT!"
Shadow laughed sheepishly, "Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that?"
"Jee, ya think that might have been important?" snarled Black.
"Wow! They got pass you?"
"Well, not exactly...I was kind of preoccupied with carrying all of Kristen's books." Everyone glared in disbelief and anger..." I couldn't see over them! Have you SEEN this girls course load?" a few seconds passed, and suddenly everyone was nodding, while Red contemplated copying the English homework from Kirsten's notes.
"So I guess we should...save her, huh?"
Mean while...
Yuske let out a muffled groan through his gag sitting up. "Oh HELL NO! You ain't putting your stinky ass gym sock in MY mouth!" Kristen roared in the background. "My mouth must stay pristine! I sm meeting the future father of my babies later! I'm not having the FFOMB taste your sweaty feet!"
"Oh, Yuske glad to see you are awake. She has been continuing in that line for quite some time now." Commented Kurama.
"MHHH! Mow mum mo mon mammed" grabbed Yuske.
"Oh I'm not gagged because I don't talk in my sleep."
"Meh mo maw min my meep."
"Yes, and I am sure Keiko misses you as much as you miss her." At this Yuske just glared in response. "Now if you are quite finished I shall untie you."
Kurama made quick work of Yuske's bonds and soon Yuske was standing up glaring at Kurama.
"Muh Mag!"
"Oh well, if you insist." Smirking Kurama removed the gag.
(A.N.H: Why he couldn't remove the gag himself I don't know. But hey its funnier this way.)
"Where's the idiot?" asked Yuske
"I trust you are referring to Kuwabara? He is still unconscious in that corner."
Looking over at the slumbering Kuwabara Yuske grinned. Slowly her creeped up to the sleeping form. "BOO!" he shouted at the top of his lungs into Kuwabara's ear.
"IEACHI!" a startled Kuwabara stood straight up panting.
"Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah!" bawled Yuskeu rolling on the floor laughing.
"You Jerk!"
"Um gentlemen...I believe silence would be most prudent in this situation." Suggested Kurama.
"Ya ya, ok!" snickered Yuske "Now listen up you big lump..." Between Yuske and Kurama they managed to paint an accurate picture for Kuwabara. "And so they have Kristen in the other room." Concluded Yuske.
"Well, let's go get her!"
"Shhhhhhhhh!"
"Sorry..."
"First I believe it prudent to come up with some sort of plan, to rescue her. From the sound of it they have finally succeeded in gagging the poor girl..." Stated a concerned Kurama.
"Well, it has been pretty quite. Maybe they left her alone." ventured Yuske.
"Ya, bet they got bored and went out for donuts... or something!" offered Kuwabara
"Somehow, I find that highly unlike..."
Just then the door to their cell burst open. "Or not." stated a glum Kuwabara. As two guards steeped through the threshold they glared at the group.
"Them been untied!" grunted one orc.
"Mayonnaise tricky bastards!" growled the other. Cracking their knuckles the two stepped forward menacingly... "AHHHHHHHHH!" they shrieked as the were promptly buried by ceiling rubble.
"Death!"
"KEEE!"
"HAHA stupid Rednecks!"
"Ummm Kaw?"
"What noise does a Shadow make anyways? Shush?"
"KURAMA! Fancy meeting you here!" Black and the rest of the foxglen gang dismounted a rather enormous jawbreaker.
"You guys really need to stop wearing your weapons while riding. You cut me seven times!" a perturbed demon from Jawbreaker said.
"I like my weapons..."
"Look at my new yo-yo stick thingy ones!"
"AHAH! You have arrived, just as I knew you would!" Cried Max.
"Wow, rather sad when they can't slam a door for a dramatic entrance, huh?" sighed Shadow, nudging the downed door with her boot.
Turning around Yuske saw...Chris...? In a pollo? And tight jeans? "Out of breath...did he run...! AHHHH! What is going on here!"
"Oh oh oh, let me! Allow me to introduce Max. Apparently Chris's twin brother. Wow go figure, huh?"
"Yes! I am Chris's twin, his EVIL twin!"
"You forgot corny," muttered Death.
"I new it! Preps are evil!" shouted Black.
"You!" snarled Max shaking a fist at Death.
"Hey, listen just because your brother beat you for the job is no reason to hold a grudge..."
"I hold no grudge, I just seek vengeance for the wrongs you have wrought me!"
"HEY! Vengeance is MY department, bub." grumbled Crow.
"Ok that does it, enough of the semi witty banter, I wanna kick some preppie ass!" Red growled impatient.
Without another word Red and Black simultaneously lunged at Max, only to barely avoid colliding with each other in a fancy double flip that belonged more in Circ de Soli then in a fight missing their apparent target and landing on either side of him. "Tada!" they both through their arms up.
"SUB-ZERO!" Max cried, slamming his fist into the ground suddenly the entire room became a skating rink as sheets of ice radiated out from his fist.
"Oh two can play that game (literally) GET OVER HERE!" roared Death, using her whip to drag Max to her.
"AHHH!" Max let out a startled yelp as he quickly slid over his fresh ice.
"Wow, mortal combat style, huh?" Shadow grinned...
"Oh, look at me!" Called Jeff moving his arms together hands out, then pulling towards his right... "KA...MEA... HAA... MEA...HA!" he thrust out his arms, producing a puff of smoke. "Huh? Why didn't it work.?"
"Jeeze JB, it's only a cartoon show," grumbled Black.
"And you forgot to turn your left hand back then foward..." Piped up Red as Crow wacked away with his sword on the ice. "What are you doing?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm breaking the ice!"
"OWWW...Nice sculpute by the way."
"WHY AREN"T YOU FIGHTING!" Raged Max "Frost Arrow!" He screeched launching the razor sharp ice at the entire lot of them.
As menacing shards sped closer to their intended targets Kurama took the stage. "Rose Whip!" He whirled his thorned weapon and they fell harmless to the floor.
"Oh Kurama! You're my hero..." sighed Black clinging to Kurama's arm
"Ummmmmmmmmmm...thank-you."
"Weeeee! Go Wooden Stick Yo-YOS!" Proclaimed Red bouncing her "yo-yo" off its string and onto Max's head.
"Um...ow?" Max chuckled "And that was that supposed to do?"
"Oooooooo, it was supposed to explode." moaned Red. "Oh well! Bouncing Grenade!" Red threw a rubber ball at Max.
"A ball?" Max picked up the ball and laughed. "Haha how foolish...what a minute...why is it ticking?"
BOOOOOOOMMM! At that point the grenade inside the ball promptly exploded.
"I GOT HIM!" Gleefully exclaimed Red bouncing up and down. "YAY! I new THAT toy would work."
"All you've managed to do is singe my shirt..."
"Ah damn!"
"Give me your best shot! You fools can not hope to beat me with your measly parlor tricks!"
"Oh comon, it's nots like we can kick your ass without the good twin around." Laughed the group as they continued the fight. As the minuets ticked buy the group wound up more battered from their effort to avoid seriously hurting Max then from his attacks.
"Hey guys I'm here! And look! Hiei and I rescued Kristen!" called Chris, melting the ice where he stood.
"Brother!"
"Max? HEY! It's my brother!" he looked Max up and down, "Do I really look like that when I'm dressed in prep? And you guys let me go out like that way?"
"Now, at last I can finish off these fools!" continued Max as if he hadn't heard what Chris said, "Come, my brother let us combine forces and smite these foes. With you by my side as my left hand man, we could conquer the world!"
"I was wondering when he was going to get to that..."
"Who is this fool, Chris?" asked Hiei, stepping out from behind Death's Minion carrying an unconscious Kristen.
"Hiei! Meet my brother! Max, this is my boyfriend Hiei!"
"Your BOYFRIEND! This can not be! You can not have a BOYFRIEND. You can not be GAY, the gay shall be smited from the world, it is an unholy abomination..."
"Wait, I though he was a demon...?"
"A sickness, a bight on this world! It's just unnatural. Chris, be rid of your BOYFRIEND, your homosexual disease, and destroy that midget next to you.."
"NOBODY CALLS MY BOYFRIEND A MIDGET!" Flames suddenly burst from Chris's hands engulfing his brother's polo clad form. "There are limits even to family tolerance!" snarled Chris as his brother writhed in agony as the flames devoured his flesh, leaving nothing but bones. "After all, Hiei is an adorable cherub!"
"Wow, now that's love. Hiei, he ain't never incinerated anyone for us before."
"I lub you too..." cooed the 'adorable cherub'. Quickly giving the gang the evil eye he growled, "Not a word."
"Puppies and kittens, huh?" giggled Red, shifting into her wolf form clutching a bone in her maw.
"Hey I didn't know they could do that...Hey Kurama, you're a kistune. Can you do that?"
"Congratulations, yuske!" Koenma Beamed. "Not only did you manage to rescue Kristen you completely destroyed the source of the bounty, and you even got rid of the Omi wa Curuso assassin group!"
"Bone! Bone! Bone!" Red barked at Black, who was holding two in her hands.
"Here Fetch!" Black threw the bone which clocked Koenma in the back of the head. Slowly Koenma turned around.
"What?" Black asked while wolf Red stared at her.
"What about that bone?"
"It's MINE!" she snarled showing more teeth than necessary.
"Okay!" Red trotted over to get the bone now laying at the feet of a shocked Koenma.
"I thought You got rid of them!" Koenma gasped.
"Ti" snorted Red chewing the bone at his feet. "Like that would happen."
"Something about this marrow taste familiar..."
"Why didn't you get rid of them!"
"Well, it turned out they weren't trying to kill Kristen. As a matter of fact they are the ones who killed Max."(A.N.L.What kind of name is Max for an evil villain anyway?)
"I GOT IT!" proclaimed Black "It tastes just like a jolly rancher martini!"
"Tastes like gay!" chirped Red from her spot on Koenma's feet.
"I would have to agree with her there...though, there is something else I can't put my finger on. A strange after taste..."
"INCEST!" announced Red.
"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" the group unanimously cringed.
"Oh dear lord! Fires of Hell! Mother Night! MAY THE DARKNESS BE MERCIFUL! YOU HAVE TO BE MISTAKEN!" shrieked Chris.
"Nope, she hit it right on the head. Your brother had a thing for you. Seems like he was just jealous of you and Hiei."
"Should've known it when he said left hand man." stated Shadow
"I think I'm gonna throw up..."
"There there." Death patted Chris on the back, as Crow and Jeff laughed.
"Who wouldn't be jealous of me." said Hiei smugly.
"Umm Hello?" Kristen offered. "Can I go get ready for my date with the future father of my babies now? I mean I know I am the KGD and all but I do have a life."
"WHAT! You knew?" exclaimed Koenma
"Huh? Well duh, little baby homey. Gran gran told me all about the hissy when she gave me this necklace." She reached into her shirt and produced a diamond incrusted KGD pendant. "Like my bling bling?"
The End!
A.N.L.H: No seriously, the story will go on, just not with YYH. That's the end of that. Email us and we'll send you the link for the original, and keep your eyes open for a Justice league arc. (It'll be a different story, check under our author page.)
Now, on a serious note. We realize some may be offended by the whole "taste like gay," and Max's comments. His opinions are MOST DEFIANTLY not shared by the authors, any of them. As you can see by his violent Death, we really are not down with the intolerance, since Chris is gay in real life and Barbra's's bi. As for the taste like gay, it's HUMOR! Deal with it. Chris and Barb found if funny, so it's funny, humor is a great way to open doors, right? Though, it does sound bad out of context...
Well...TTFN, love you all, now and review DAMN YOU ALL!