''Jeremiah''
A Story inspired by Conker:Live and Reloaded X-BOX Live Mode.
If you have X-BOX Live how about playing me on Conker? My Gamertag is Squee N Shmee
What passing-bells for these who die as cattle?
Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries now for them;no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs
The shrill,demented choirs for wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.
-Wilfred Owen
CHAPTER ONE: Beach Dead.
The War had started and the first mission was assigned.The Dictator Von Kripplespac
revealed his ultimate weapon which he would use to blow down the ships arriving.
The Tediz were all ready for the attack as Snipers were fixing their rifles,
Demolishers were arming their Rocket Launchers ready to blow up anything in their path,
Thermophiles busily filling their tanks happy too see all burn to a crisp,
The Sneakers had been adding Gatemakers so they could make their way through the blockades,
And last the Grunts were all heading out first to the battlefield supposedly as the shield.
All of them ready while Von Kripplespac sat in his Inner Sanctum just waiting for the moment
until it was the time to blow up the Squirrel's Battleship.
Coming from the seas came the boats heading off to the Island and where sat our Hero to be.
One of the smaller squirrels..A comparison to pigs.The runt of the litter..
His name was Jeremiah.Just ame out of training and got most of his tests average
which made his feel sure that he was not ready for this mission,However he would
do anything for his beloved Country.He sitting in a boat crowded by a large group
he was one of the Grunts who showed he was absoutely nervous.His blue eyes locked
upon his gun as he was shaking in fear of what his fate might of been.And thats when
One of the tougher but dimwitted Demolishers noticed him.He tapped Jeremian's shoulder
and than flashed a bucktooth smile.'' 'Ey lil' fella? Anythin' alright?'' he said.
Jeremiah who was still shaking in his army boots looked up and replyed ''Eh..Yeah..'
''First time you doin' an actual mission...?''
''Eeer..Yeah..Does it look obvious to you?''
'' Gosh yeah.Don't worry buddy..This is gonna be a breeze! I been doin' dis for years.Name's Russel by the way.''
''...Umm..My name is Jeremiah..'' The small squirrel than swallowed hard,But felt a little better.
He looked up at Russel getting back to shivering in fear. ''So..What are we suppose to do?''
''Kill all who stands in our way I guess..''
''Will this--''
He was than cut off by the speakers as the Squirrel on the Battleship spoke.
''Okay guys! You have about 20 seconds! Blow up each blockade! We have to reach over and stop
his reign of terror!''
And the time was set.The two boats headed to the harbor as everyone had unleashed their weapons.
Two upgrades had been let out and thw Thermophile got the first while Russel had pushed Jeremiah
into the second.At first he was confused but than Russel had winked which made Jeremiah understand.
The better the gun the better that he'd make through this war..Even if he was confused of what gun
was in his arsenal.The speaker than had crackled again from the Battleship.
''It was nice knowin' you guys..''
And thats when the two boats ramps were open.One Grunt than yelled out
''EAT LEAD FUTHAMUCKERS!''
All eight SHC Soldiers charged in with Jeremiah right behind with his mystery gun.
His blue eyes trailing all around the area trying to find places to hide until
a red light was pointed to his direction.A Sniper Rifle's bullet flying straight
towards him,But he quickly reacted by jumping out of the way.This had given him
the cue that he should get in with the others as he sprinted towards the attacked Blockade
Thats where he stopped to watch the others blow the crap out of the tough Blockade,But
He was mostly watching Russel.Admiring the brave muscled shoulder as he shot rockets
giving critical damage to the Blockade and a horrible bloody death to any Tediz by it.
But his eyes were now locked onto the Tediz Sneaker.All snuggled up in a Trenchcoat and Duster Hat
And holding tight onto his curved Katana.All ready to slice up the biggest and baddest
A.K.A. Russel the Demolisher.He sneaking right behind Russel who was too busy locked up
on the Blockade and with one right move he could decapitate the giant killing machine.
Jeremiah's eyes widening he than screamed out ''Russel! Watch out!''
And thats whe he turned around too see the Sneaker.He replaced his Rocket Launcher
with a Grenade as he ran off faster away from the Stealthy Tedi.Jeremiah had quickly
pulles the trigger of his upgraded gun as it shot a grenade under the Tediz feet..Than.
BOOM! A Grenade Launcher?
Blood flew all over the sand,But Jeremian noticed something..Wires and static coming from the corpse.
''...Hey.Its..A robot...''
''Hey lil buddy!'' yelled out Russel ''You mind helpin' us out here? We only got a few minutes..''
Jeremiah nodded and commanded the others to move back and than with a rocket and grenade
colliding into the Blockade,It had broked apart.Thats when Sarge spoke in their walkie-talkies.
''Grrrrreat work guys! Now destroy the next Blockade!''
The SHC Soldiers all ran through to the bridges where they were given a big surprise...
The Blockade being guarded by five Grunts and two Demolishers.
With the Grunts shooting rapidly atleast a few of the SHC Grunts and about two
Snipers who needed a close view for a great headshot when up ahead
Shooting a rocket which had made all the Tediz Grunts explode,Yet with a few seconds
to reload Russel was shot back by the rocket still alive but damaged.Jeremiah worried had
jumped over and dragged Russel's fallen body.With him being weak he barely made it to First Defense
as a rocket flew past them.''Russel! Russel! Are you alright!''
Russel grunted and pushed Jeremiah aside so he could stand up.''Yeah,yeah.Its just a flesh wound..''
The Thermophile who took the first upgrade waddled off over to Russel passing him a healing mask.
He flashed off a psychotic grin to Jeremiah and Russel.''...Hehehe..Hey guys.Ya mind avoiding the rockets?
It'd help me save less lifes..''
''Ah cool it Twitch.It happens to everyboday..''
After Twitch ran close to the Demolishers attempting to burn the fur
off their bodies with the green acid,Which gave the SHC Sneaker the chance to behead
one of them with her Katana,Than switched to the Dagger as she used the backstabbing technique
on the other..The whole backstabbing bitch term work for ya?
With the distraction gone Russel was launching,TWitch was slowly torching the bridge,Jeremiah shooting
each Grenade,And the unknown Sneaker chucking her daggers.In a matter of seconds the bridge exploded
and the Sarge communicated with his Soldiers.
''Unbelievable! Excellent work guys! Now blow up that door! Remember your training and you will survive!''
The four troops headed in forwards the metallic let out an admiring whistle.
''Damn..This might take a while to break down..''
Jeremiah sweated abit and instead switched to his other gun. ''Think we can do it...?''
Twitch cackled like a madman.''Mehehehe...We are gonna kill all of dem' like theres no tomorrow...''
And thats when there was another red light aimed on Jeremiah..He was than shot.
He fell back his eyes watering as he smacked into the dirt wall boarded down with plank.
All Jeremiah heard next was the loud explosion and a scream filled with loud German curses.
Than another explosion as a scrap of metal was hit about his side and than a hand on his shoulder..
''Lil buddy? You okay...?''
''Owww...Ugh...Nobody told me it hurt this much...''
''Yep.First shot is always dah killah.We are almost done with this mission..''
The three of them ran in with Jeremiah limping after them.Sarge congratulated them.
''Yeah! You blew up the door! Now get in there and stop dat mad man! Blow his legs up if you have too!''
And inside there stood Von Kripplespac in his Nazi Uniform walking Hitler Style.
Rockets flying,Twitch's laser frying him,And daggers flying..And only one shot left.
The Grenade flew over to Kripplespac's Inner Sanctrum.Sarge than yelled out..
''60 Points and a Medal to whoever finishes him off...'' Than...
BOOM! The fiery explosion hit and Von Kripplespac fell back to the ground
and his legs flying right off into the bottom fan.Von Kripplespac reaching
his gloved hand to the lever which would launch his missile at the Battleship
But he'd pass out.Jeremiah surprised of what he done stood their speechless..
Russel had patted him on the back and Twitch and the Sneaker cheered.
Jeremiah has finished his first assignment.
SHC BATTLESHIP: Jeremiah's Room.
Dear Mom & Dad,
I just finished my first assignment.We had to stop the Tediz Dictator
Von Kripplespac but we had to take down the Blockade's leading to him.
I've only had 1 kills,But my new friend Russel told me he was like that
on his first day.I even was the guy who managed to blow off his legs but
he managed to escape.If your wondering if I got hurt,Only a gunshot
to the arm.But I'm alright..Well thats it I guess.Love you guys
And I'll be next year :)
With Much Love,Your Son Jeremiah.
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Chapter 2: Coming Soon to
Conker is property of RARE.
Jeremiah,Russel,Twitch,And Georgina the Sneaker is property of Shawn Bovlin.
07-28-2005