Starting Over
By SisSpooky
Disclaimer: Same song, second verse. Copyright infringement is not intended, and no profit will be realized from this story.
"Honey, I'm ho-ome!" Mulder announced as he came through the front door of their small apartment.
"I'm in the kitchen!" Dana called in response. "How was your day?"
"Oh, you know, one job interview after another. This place looks great, Dana."
"Thanks. Any luck?"
"Probably not. None of my interviewers seemed too impressed. What are you doing? It sounds like you're talking to me from the bottom of a barrel." He threw his jacket over the back of the sofa and walked into the kitchen to see his wife and claim his welcome home kiss.
"Cleaning the oven." She explained over the scrubbing sounds that echoed in her ears. "I don't think the previous tenants ever cleaned this place." Dana crawled back away from the oven and stood up, facing the doorway. "I'll have dinner ready in a little while."
"No rush. Love the outfit," Mulder retorted as he clutched her gloved wrists and held her arms apart. "The rubber gloves were a nice touch."
"Not over the top?"
"Nah, just right. How was your day?"
"It was fine. I went to my interview this morning and it seems hopeful, but if I get the job, I don't start work until September."
"That's four months from now."
She stretched up and kissed his lips quickly before pulling her arms from his grasp to remove the once yellow rubber gloves. "Yeah, I know. But its all I can find that uses my degree and pays enough that could support us both if needed."
Mulder sighed and hugged her to him. "Well, I'll keep looking in the meantime. Something is bound to open up eventually."
"I did find a job that will use those French classes I took in high school and college."
"Do I want to know?"
"Uhm, maybe not, but I'll tell you anyway." Dana threw the gloves over her shoulder and into the sink before she wrapped her arms around her husband's waist. "There is a very popular, non-dive, restaurant not too far from here - Nickels. Anyway, I was walking back from the market and saw a help wanted sign in the window."
He closed his eyes tightly and rested his chin on her head. "You didn't."
"So, I brought the groceries home, changed clothes, and went back to apply for the job. They hired me on the spot and I start first thing tomorrow morning."
"I thought we agreed that work was . . ."
Again with this argument. She wasn't in the mood to argue about where the money was coming from. "Mulder, its honest work and it will pay the bills until September, or longer if need be. I took the only thing I could find at the time."
"I'll find a job, Dana."
"I know you will."
"You don't have to take this waitress job."
"I already took it."
"What if I don't want you to take it?"
"We have less than a hundred dollars, Mulder. Rent is going to happen again at the first of the month and we have to eat. I'm sorry if you don't like the job, but I'm doing what I have to do. When I accepted the position, I told them that there is a good chance its only temporary. And another thing, if we are going to fight about something, lets find something a lot more important to fight about."
"You are not going to keep me. And just what are you implying? I've been busting my ass trying to find a job that will pay the bills and I'm either over qualified, have no experience, or they aren't hiring. Dammit, Dana! I even applied at the grocery store down the street and they wouldn't hire me. That being dead, coming back to life, and disappearing shit isn't working in my favor."
She pushed past him and walked back into the main room of the apartment. Dana stood there trying to figure out how to reply. Mulder hadn't told her any of this until now and part of her loved him more for wanting to protect her, for trying so hard to provide for them. Another part of her hated him for hiding things from her and getting into this whole mess.
"Who in the hell said anything about keeping you? And I implied nothing! For your information if I thought you were a lazy bum I'd tell you so! Why didn't you tell me any of this before now? Do you think that a position is suddenly going to come open with the Canadian government for a previously dead, overly paranoid profiler formerly of the United States F.B.I. who is now wanted for murder? I have no intentions of keeping you, Mulder. I do have intentions of paying my way in this marriage."
"Some marriage this is," he countered in anger. "All we do is fight about one thing or another. Before we found this dump, we argued about where we were going to live. The place was always either too expensive, too small, too large, not enough morning light. Now all we fight about is money and work, work and money. Our wedding day, now there's a day to remember. A shotgun style wedding in the living room of the justice of the peace in the middle of nowhere, conveniently located smack in route to Canada! And our wedding dinner, that was something to remember, too. We each got our own order of Mc-fries instead of splitting one like we usually do."
"It wasn't my idea to get married, Mulder. It was your idea. You are the one that said "once we cross the border we can never come back here, Dana. Never meaning until the charges are dropped which will most likely happen when the Easter bunny starts running in place of Santa Claus. I want to get married before we get to Canada, Dana. What do you say?" So after trying to rationalize with you, I gave in."
"So you didn't want to marry me?" Mulder stepped closer to Dana, but didn't invade her personal space.
She threw up her arms in exasperation and them folded them across her chest. "Yeah, that's exactly it, Mulder! Because in the entire time you've known me, I have a perfect record for doing everything I don't want to do. Of course I wanted to marry you, I just didn't want to marry you that way. We're in this, Mulder, and if anyone sounds sorry that we ever got married its you!"
One of the neighbors began banging on the wall and yelled a "quiet it down in there!" over already raised voices.
"My point, Scully, is that this isn't a marriage." His tone was hushed now. The use of her maiden name was intended to sting, and sting it did. "If we aren't arguing, we're either discussing our lack of work or not talking at all. Since our wedding night I can count the times we've made love on one hand. Hell, I can count on one finger. Once! Once! I thought things would be different for us. That night when we last talked, I mean really talked in Roswell, about the future, it sounded promising. It didn't sound like this." He made a grand gesture with his hands meant to encompass the entire apartment, their entire situation.
"Do you honestly think you are the only one disappointed? The only one that didn't picture this? Life isn't always perfect Mulder, and I thought you would know that as well as anyone! This apartment wasn't my first choice, it isn't even my tenth choice, but its what we can afford. And it isn't a dump. I'm not crazy about waitressing eight hours or more a day for minimum wage and tips, but it will put food on the table! I'm not crazy that I was forced out of the country, away from my family, away from my son, but it happened Mulder! Now here I stand in the middle of hell on earth, with you, arguing about shit that isn't going to matter to either of us in a year's time!" Her voice softened and her eyes dropped from his and she studied the cheap white sneakers she wore. "I miss you, too. I miss the closeness that we once shared, and in time we'll get that back. Making love doesn't pay the rent, and by the time I finally fall into bed between searching for a decent job and taking care of what I'm trying to make into a home, I'm too tired to do anything but sleep."
"Again with job hunts and . . ."
"Just don't." She interrupted. "Just stop, okay? I get that you're hurt. I'm tired." Dana glanced at the clock, "I'm going to bed. You can make a sandwich if you want it."
"Going to bed! It's six-thirty in the evening!" He announced as though she couldn't tell time.
"I know damn good and well what time it is, Mulder, and I'm still going to bed. I've got to be up early for work."
Mulder watched her walk past him and toward the one bedroom. He didn't want to be alone with himself. He didn't want to be alone with anyone either. Mulder was near desperate to stop her and spat out the only thing he could think of that would work for certain. "Since when do you run from a problem?"
Dana turned to face him, fire in her eyes mixed with just the right touch of hurt. "Since you started acting like a first class horse's ass, Mulder! Since you start yelling at me because . . .I don't even know why you're yelling at me. To be honest, I don't even know what in the hell started all of this? And I don't think you do either."
"Maybe I'm upset because you took a job without consulting me first."
"And maybe that's not it at all. I don't think it has anything to do with any of the things we've just fought about. I think money, jobs, this apartment, and all the rest just forms a comfortable series of arguments. Arguments we have day after day with no resolve. And if . . .if . . .I don't even know where to go with this, Mulder. I take that back, I know exactly where to go with this. If this is the result of some wounded pride you can just get over yourself. And if you keep picking the same fight with me because you want to push me away you can stop, because I'm not going anywhere. Not today, not tomorrow, not anytime next month."
She held her left hand up and pointed toward the wedding band he gave her two months ago. Since their wedding, they had sold the car they had taken across the border and purchased a cheap car that looked as though it would barely get them down the block, let alone across town. The money left over from the sale had allowed for another month's rent and a small sum for groceries. Dana let a tear slip down her cheek as she moved toward her husband. "This," she pointed furiously with her right index finger, "THIS RING, this symbol of the vows we made to one another for better or for worse is what is keeping me around. This and my hope that things will improve in time. And incase you forgot, Fox Mulder, the vows also said "for richer or poorer" and "until death do us part"! Unless you were bull shitting your way through the entire ceremony, you need to start acting on those vows you took."
"Is that really what you think? That I was BSing my way through the ceremony?"
"Based on your actions, yes."
He reached out for her, brushing his hand against her arm and allowing it to rest on her back. "Dana, I'm . . ."
"Get your hands off of me, Mulder."
"I'm sorry."
She looked at him with tear filled eyes, "I don't want to hear it."
"Bu . . ."
"Goodnight." She turned away from him and quickly walked to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her.
"Congratulations, Mulder, you've just made horse's ass of the year." He said to himself as he watched her silhouette move about through the crack under the door. He plopped down on the couch and switched off the lamp that was shining brightly in his eyes. I've got to fix this, somehow. I just have to figure out how. Scully is really pissed this time. On the bright side she didn't lock the bedroom door. Of course there isn't a lock on the bedroom door so that might have something to do with it. Think, Mulder, think. No money for any 'I'm so very sorry, can I please come out of the dog house' gifts. Who am I kidding? We don't even have the money for a doghouse
XX
"Table for one, please." Mulder requested as he searched the restaurant for his wife.
"Smoking or non?" The hostess asked as she looked at her seating chart for a free table.
"Uhm . . .uh . . .you have a new waitress here. Red hair, about this tall," he made a gesture with his hand, "really pretty. Breath taking actually."
"Dana?"
"Yeah! Can you seat me in her section?"
"Sure, follow me." The lady grabbed a menu and led Mulder through the growing crowd, to a small corner table. "You know she's married?"
"Yep."
"Okay, I just didn't want you making a total fool of yourself."
"Too late." Mulder admitted with his best 'thanks for trying' grin.
"She'll be with you in just a moment."
"Thanks."
Mulder pretended to look over the menu while he waited for Dana. He knew what he wanted and quickly saw that it wasn't listed. "Hi, my name is Dana, and I will be your waitress today. Are you ready to order or would you like a few more minutes?" She barely looked up from her order pad since her customer was still looking over the menu.
"No, I'm ready to order. I'd like a plate of crow, followed by a left foot, both medium rare. And to wash it down I'd like a pitcher of pride, and a glass of iced tea."
"Mulder? What are you doing here?"
"Apologizing?"
"I think it's going to take a lot more than this. I don't have time to get into it now. Can it wait until my shift is over?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, we'll talk it all out then, Mulder. I promise we will."
He nodded, "I know." Mulder leaned a little closer, "can we afford a sandwich and a glass of iced tea?"
"Yeah, I'll bring it right out."
"No mayo, and no horse's ass either. I maybe be a lot of things but a cannibal I'm not."
She smiled and took his menu, disappearing into the kitchen. He wasn't sure if it was the 'comes with the job smile' or a smile in response to his comment. Either way, he'd take it, as long as he got to see her smile. Starting over wasn't easy, nor was making up, but as she had so gently pointed out, they were in this for the long haul, and in it together. And just as they had always done before, together they would make it through.
To Be Continued . . .